The Losers, By A Nose

We've all heard the stories.

Michael Jackson's nose was fake. After so many surgeries, allegedly performed to make Michael look nothing like his father, there were stories that his nose simply became two small holes in his face.

There were stories that he kept a tray of noses at the ready for his public appearances.

There are stories that he wore the surgical masks to cover up his lack of nose.

Now, we have a new story.

Michael Jackson's nose has gone missing at the LA County coroner's office. Seriously.

A witness claims to have seen Jackson's body on an autopsy table, and now says: 'The prosthesis he normally attached to his damaged nose was missing, revealing bits of cartilage surrounding a small dark hole.

These, uh, claims appeared in Rolling Stone and apparently are confirmed by Adrian McManus, a former housekeeper for the star. McManus claims Michael Jackson had a number of false noses and used plasters to cover and support the prostheses. "In his closet he had a jar of fake noses and stage glue, which he told me he used for disguises. But some were similar to his real nose, just without the hole."

Honestly, can't we leave him alone. LaToya's busy selling her stories to the London tabloids; Tito's revealing 'all' on Entertainment tonight; Jermaine reportedly has a book coming out. His mother and father are spending long hours in court trying to gain control of his estate.

The man is dead.

Can't we let him rest in peace.

At least until he shows up with Elvis at a WalMart in Akron, Ohio.