Thursday, July 09, 2020


A few weeks ago, we went to our local Social Distancing Farmer’s Market to get some things. One lady was selling jars of homemade jams, jellies and marmalades; sauces and marinades and all kinds of other things. She had an orange marmalade—Carlos’ favorite—so we picked up a bottle and then got a couple of other jarred goodies.

Carlos, being a Bread Head, whipped through that orange marmalade in no time, so last Sunday, after preparing pancakes for breakfast, he went to the fridge and grabbed a jar and brought it to the table.
“What’s that for?”
“I’m going to put it on my pancakes instead of syrup.”
“You’re putting that on pancakes?”
“Yeah, why?”
“What is that?”
“Orange marmalade.”
“Is it?”
“Isn’t it?”
“No, honey, it’s spicy Hot Chow Chow.”
“Not for pancakes?”
“I think not.”
Sidenote: as the Resident Evil Bitch in the house I kinda wanted to see him do it, but then he would have wasted some perfectly fine pancakes.
Why some of y’all are out there bitching about being uncomfortable wearing masks think of what the government has done to some of us …

In Swimming in the Swamp News … at least seven members of Congress—some of whom who were directly involved in shaping regulations—or their spouses, received small business loans as part of ______’s pandemic stimulus response.

Among the loan recipients is KTAK Corp., a Tulsa-based operator of fast food franchises owned by GOP Congressman Kevin Hern; he received a bailout between $1 million and $2 million to support 220 jobs.

GOP Congressman Mike Kelly benefited when three of his Pittsburgh car dealerships, received a combined total of between $450,000 and $1.05 million to retain 97 jobs. Several plumbing businesses in Oklahoma, affiliated with GOP Congressman Rep. Markwayne Mullin, each received between $350,000 and $1 million.

And then Foremost Maritime, a shipping business controlled by the family of Elaine Chao, the Transportation Secretary and wife of Moscow Mitch, received between $350,000 and $1 million, according to the SBA data.

Note: all are Republicans using their positions to save their businesses first.

Fuck ‘em all; vote ‘em out.
Along those same lines … when the Treasury Department and Small Business Administration disclosed the names of every business that got $150,000 or more through _____’s COVID-19 stimulus program, one name popped up: Kanye West. West’s “fashion” company, Yeezy LLC., received a loan between $2 to $5 million to save 106 jobs. And after getting the money he decided to launch his presidential bid in the hopes of siphoning off Black voters for Biden.

I smell Quid Pro Quo.

Another lucky recipient of _____ Cash was one Jared Kushner, the son of tax cheat Charles Kushner , who received between $1 and $2 million for his family’s Joseph Kushner Hebrew Academy in New Jersey, which is named after Jared’s grandpa. Jared made $82 million last year, and his father is worth $1,8 billion, but they got a welfare check.

Kudos to my small town of Camden, South Carolina, becoming one of the first in the state to mandate the wearing of masks inside the city limits. Camden is a tiny slice of Blue in a Red state and so we’ve been acting responsibly during this time, even wearing masks when we weren’t asked to do so.

Last week, running errands, Carlos and I stopped into a grocery store and were pleasantly surprised to see that every person inside was masking. Sadly, the store had no cilantro, so we had to trek across the river into a neighboring town and, there, almost no one was masked. I think we’ll just stay inside Camden until we catch a break from this thing.
First came the Bolton book and I chose not to buy it or read it because Bolton is a money-grubbing traitor.

Next came the Mary _____ book, Too Much and Never Enough: How My Family Created the World's Most Dangerous Man, which I won’t buy or read because, in it, she says her Uncle Donald is a narcissistic sociopathic moron. Since I know that why put coins out for it?

But … Stephanie Winston Wolkoff—who was previously a loyal confidante of Melanie ____—has written, Melania and Me, which faced all kinds of legal hurdles but will be released in September.

Maybe we’ll learn more about Melanie’s “modeling” past and how she gained citizenship in this country and if she was one of the Russian hookers who ______ likes to watch pee on people.
Now, while I am loathe to talk about this, the ignorance and stupidity and sheer media whorishness of it all requires some words: Kanye West.

He says he’s running for President but hasn’t filed the paperwork yet. He’s not running as a member of any known political party, but under the newly formed—and I am serious y’all—Birthday Party.

He no longer supports _____, though he did host Ivanka and Jared and their little brats at his home recently—and got a welfare check from _____ for a company bailout. He’s oaky with siphoning off Black votes from Joe Biden even if it helps _____, whom he no longer supports. He has never voted in his life.

He had Covid-19 in February but said nothing until now … He’s suspicious of a coronavirus vaccine, terming vaccines “the mark of the beast.” He says “Planned Parenthoods have been placed inside cities by white supremacists to do the Devil’s work.”

He envisions a White House organizational model based on the secret country of Wakanda in Black Panther.

Seriously. Someone in That Family needs to do a 5150 hold on this lunatic.
San Francisco Supervisor Shamann Walton as introduced legislation that would outlaw racially-motivated 911 calls such as those made by the various “Karens” around the country.

The legislation is appropriately named the Caution Against Racially Exploitative Non-Emergencies Act, AKA the CAREN Act.

This is the delightfully delicious Valter Passos Silva, a twenty-six-year-old Portuguese model.

He’s quirky and cute and fun; he looks good in and out of clothes.

And, again, Portuguese.


anne marie in philly said...

tuxedo and the tweet. yeezy belongs in a psyche ward. the dump, his family, and every R out there belongs in jail.

Mistress Maddie said...

I cant lie...i love chow chow too. Poor Carlos though. Maybe stronger glasses? You are bad Bob.

I won't read the Melanie book either. We already know she was a whore and still lies on her back for coin. Why else stay married to that ugly odd circus sideshow with bleached hair and white circle around his eyes?!?!? My blood cuddles just viewing him. I did however think it funny even in Wharton he was so damn dumb he couldn't even do his own homework!!!! If he has nothing to hide...he surely does protest to much these books!?!?!?!?

Elaine Cho....that bitch. Her family... she comes from billionaires. I d say something but will refrain. Imagine being married to a puss licking tortoise with no backbone. Two more for covid to come get.

And Kayne is as worthless as the rest of the family. And he is so dumb to see even they don't have respect for him. He needs to stay out of politics and stay on the porch. We seen the fine mess created by the dumb ass reality star currently in the White House.

My covid list is getting crowded.

the dogs' mother said...

(Carlos) (Tuxedo)
Our county is all mask.
stay safe, xoxo :-)

Treaders said...

The list of those who received the massive stimulus checks is just horrendous - Kushner?????? Oh my God! I admit I have pre-ordered the Mary Trump book though - can't wait to read it actually.

Deedles said...

It's time to cue up Billie Holiday again. Them that's got shall get.....

Helen Lashbrook said...

Perhaps Carlos should try orange marmalade on scones with clotted cream - divine!

I thought Chao's father owned a CHINESE shipping line? Has he reregistered it as American so as to get $$$ as well as Renminbi?

Bob said...

I love how these salaried-for-life GOPers are the first ones with their hands out.

I love ChowChow, but maybe not on a pancake ...?

We have a few places here going all mask, which may change since, once again, we'r a state with loads of new cases.

Yes, billionaires on welfare. Ain't that America!

Yes, ma'am!

They're criminals so .....

Sixpence Notthewiser said...

Hey, I would have made the same mistake Carlos made. Especially without my glasses. Also, yum orange marmalade.
Now, the deplorable GOP can eff the right off. I saw a Lincoln Project video where they say they'll come for all of them. The sooner the better. I hope all the shit they've done comes out.
As for the books, I'll pirate all of them. All. Of. Them. Will never give any of those people a red cent.
Kanye is a famewhore with a mental illness.

Tuxedo is a treasure.

Eu falo Portugues! Ele é gustoso.


Frank said...

GOP all for "small government and less taxes" but first in line for government handouts which our taxes pay for. Jesus said "the poor are always with you", but so are the greedy.

Michael said...

You were nice to warn Carlos of the potential no orange marmalade debacle!

Dave R said...

Dear Lord! I had chow chow, my grandma used to make it... ugh

Show me a Republican who can ignore a free handout and I'll show you a Democrat.

I think just about everybody's picked up the Kanye's bullshit except 12 year olds who can't vote.

Go Camden!

Sadie J said...

I don't know how it's possible, but it just keeps getting more and more bizarre.

Bob said...

You're right on all accounts.

The GOP is the welfare club.

I was, wasn't I ...even if I thought otherwise for a moment.

It's a good ChowChow and Camden is a good town!

I long for normalcy.

Travel said...

Maybe Carlos likes it hot and spicy. My but you do live in the middle of . . . someplace.

Moving with Mitchell said...

I love Tales of Carlos. I'm stunned by your behavior. You did NOT let him spread Hot Chow Chow on his pancakes! The Grinch's small heart grew three sizes that day!

Why would you even have something called Hot Chow Chow in the fridge?!? It sounds like dog food (stolen dog food?)

Bob said...

Luckily, our town is a more progressive spot.

ChoChow opened is ChowChow refrigerated.
And I WAS nice,wasn't I!!!??!