Saturday, June 02, 2018

It's Snarkurday!

Show of hands …who saw this coming?

While Khloé Kardastrophe and her philandering Baby Daddy, Tristan Thompson, were ALLEGEDLY making a go of it—for TV ratings, of course—rumor has it all is not well in the House of Fame-Whore and Serial Cheater.

A source—and you know it’s That Woman trying to rustle up some coins—says:
“Khloé and Tristan are fighting constantly. All the time. She doesn’t know how she’s going to rebuild trust in him …”
And we’ll stop; Khloe hooked up with a guy who left his pregnant girlfriend for her so why would she think he would remain faithful to her? I mean, c’mon, anyone could have seen this coming.

Jose Feliciano could have seen it.

Ray Charles could have seen it.

Stevie Wonder …I’ll stop.

Still, it’s sure to be a Very Special Episode of KUWTK when Khloe and Tristan implode, and ratings are what counts in that family.
It seems like eons ago when Mariah Carey and her billionaire boyfriend broke up so she could date a backup dancer, but it’s only been since last year.

Certainly, it seems like Packer broke up with her because Mimi never turned down a check and a billionaire would have had tons of checks. And, to be sure, since he’d proposed to her and gave her a 35-carat diamond engagement ring—that cost some $190 million—you knew Mariah would find a way to keep it.

And she did, and she wore it all last year, even after the breakup and even after starting to date her new little man, but rumor has it she finally sold it … at a loss. And she seems to be playing off that substantial loss of coins as away of proving she’s letting go of the past because she sold a $10 million ring for a shade over 2 million.

Or, maybe she sold it because she needs the coins because, let’s face it, 2018 Mariah Carey is not nearly as popular, talented, reliable, able to perform as say, well, some earlier version of Mimi.
I only post this story because I think Brody Jenner is hot, so here goes…

Brody Jenner is getting married; he and his fiancée Kaitlynn Carter have been together for four years and engaged for two. They haven’t announced the wedding date but ALLEGEDLY it’s very close and will take place where the couple got engaged: Nihi Sumba, Indonesia. But … Brody’s family, Caitlyn Jenner, Kylie and Kendall Jenner, who were invited, are not going.

Ouch. Caitlyn ALLEGEDLY has work commitments that have been set up for months and couldn’t be changed just for her son’s wedding, and Kylie and Kendall aren’t going because … they’re Kylie and Kendall and if That Woman couldn’t turn Brody’s wedding into a TV special so her girls could get paid, well … you know.

Still, rumor has it that Brody and Kendall-Kylie have grown estranged over the years—possibly because he doesn’t have a TV show—and there’s an ALLEGED rift between Brody and Caitlyn that goes back to when she married Kris, whom Brody blames for putting up a wall between Caitlyn and her non-Kardashian kids because, you know, again, they weren’t on television and she couldn’t make any money off them, so what use were they.

Gosh, that family, it’s an ugly gift that keeps on giving.
Halle Berry and her third husband Olivier Martinez were married for two years. That’s long for Halle, but their divorce is taking even longer. Halle first filed for divorce back in October 2015 after months of rumors that the marriage was over.

Olivier then filed his own divorce papers, so Halle filed for divorce a second time because, well, she used fake names in her first filing and that made things messier.

In 2016, the courts sent a letter to Halle and Olivier telling them to make some moves on their divorce or it will be dismissed, and they’ll have to start over.

That was a year and a half ago, and nothing has been settled and now the unhappy couple was sent documents from the Superior Court of Los Angeles basically telling them to get this thing done.

Sheesh, even the judge wants this over, what’s taking so long?

Perhaps Halle’s holding out for the silver Anniversary of her divorce filing because it doesn’t look like she’ll ever get a Silver Wedding Anniversary.
But …maybe Halle is ready to move on because she’s ALLEGEDLY found herself a new man … Keanu Reeves.

No. Seriously.

It ALLEGEDLY all began when Halle signed on for John Wick 3 a few months back and apparently got on really well with Keanu. And this time Halle’s picked a man who’s her age; Keanu is 53, and kinda dim-witted hot, while Halle is 51 and kinda hot, if you’re into that sort of thing, you know, women.

And now that they’re making movie magic together, or as much magic and the second sequel of a film I’ve never seen nor want to see, it’s been ALLEGED that the two are an item.

Still, as noted earlier, Halle hasn’t even divorced her third husband so the idea that she and Keanu will tie the knot is far-fetched, were it that it involved any other woman besides Halle Berry who has infamously said, at least twice, that she would never marry again.

But she’ll likely never divorce again either.


Deedles said...

Ooooh, the snark is hot today!

Let's throw in Diane Schuur in that blind group. She's white and a woman, so that kills two birds with one stone. Plus, she has the same nickname as me, bonus!

A year is an eon in pop star years. Just look at Jurassic Madonna.

Brody Jenner is marrying a woman named Kaitlynn? Paging Dr. Freud, paging Dr. Freud!

My oh so loving spouse would've dropped me in a heartbeat for Halle Berry. He then saw a picture of her in profile and took note of her flat forehead, a total turn off for him. Who knew? My protruding forehead saved my marriage.

the dogs' mother said...

Maybe _____ could pardon Halle's divorce?

Bob Slatten said...

Flat forehead? I love it!

Bob Slatten said...

Don't give him any ideas!

anne marie in philly said...

bob scrapes the bottom of the barrel to bring us this garbage.

halle & keanu - VOM! both has-beens!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I wish Keanu and Halle much happiness. Seriously! Why the hell not?

Helen Lashbrook said...

John Wick 3? John Wicks 1 & 2 passed me by, so John Wick 3 is even less of a draw

Blobby said...

1. Brody IS hot.

2. Mariah didn't take a loss on the ring. She didn't pay for it, so it's 100% profit to her.

Anonymous said...

Olivier mmm Voulez Vouz couche avec moi ce soir. Or whatever it is,

Bob Slatten said...

Yeah, I know right? Um ....yum!

Dave R said...

But I thought Keanu was... well, you know... all of the rumors?

Maybe Halle's just bait... well, you know... even though... or is it the old bait and switch?

Brody is... well, he looks a bit... you know... dumb