I Didn't Say It ...

Nicolle Wallace, former White House Director of Communications for W, former senior adviser for the McCain–Palin campaign, anchor of MSNBC's "Deadline: White House," and registered Republican until 2016 before registering as an Independent after _____ won the election, on “Spygate”:

“We will show you his outlandish claims made on the South Lawn of the White House. But instead of waiting until after you hear those remarks from the president to fact check them, we want to warn you in advance that his meandering comments include lies about the nature of the surveillance of his campaign as well as smears on the former FBI director Jim Comey. Also a key witness in the Mueller investigation. Attacking Comey, we understand, is the Trump legal team’s entire strategy for defending the president in the obstruction of justice investigation, which hinges, at least in part, on Comey’s firing. We also want to tell you his new bumper sticker “Spygate” is also based on a lie. There is no evidence that anyone was spying on the Trump campaign. A counterintelligence investigation was underway. And for the president who still doesn’t seem to know what that means, let’s try this. The good guys, American law enforcement agencies, were closely watching the bad guys, American adversaries like the Russians. The reason Trump’s campaign is in the mix is because they ended up in close enough cahoots with Russians to raise suspicions. With those facts in mind, here’s the president’s performance today."

Calling out the lies! And the liar!

Brava!

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John Kelly, White House chief of staff, on _____’s "zero-tolerance" policy toward immigrants who cross the border illegally, and that separating parents from their children could be a "tough deterrent":

"The children will be taken care of — put into foster care or whatever. But the big point is they elected to come illegally into the United States and this is a technique that no one hopes will be used extensively or for very long. [These immigrants are] overwhelmingly rural people. In the countries they come from, fourth-, fifth-, sixth-grade educations are kind of the norm. They don't speak English — obviously that's a big thing. They don't speak English. They don't integrate well. They don't have skills."

Taken care of … or whatever.

That’s the GOP.

‘Whatever’; since they don’t speak English or have skills and are, gasp, rural!

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Donald _____, on FOX & Friends on the new NFL rule that players must now stand for the national anthem:

“I think that’s good, I don’t think people should be staying in locker rooms … You have to stand proudly for the national anthem or you shouldn’t be playing, you shouldn’t be there — maybe you shouldn’t be in the country … You have to stand proudly for the national anthem, and the NFL owners did the right thing if that’s what they’ve done.”

Ah, ‘America, love it or leave it’ is back. But why NFL players who kneel? Why not four-time draft-dodgers? What not traitors and grifters and thieves? Why not environment f**kers? Race baiters? Racists? Sexual predators? Rapists?

Get rid of _____; problem solved.

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Joe Biden, on _____ and other Washington Republicans abandoning traditional American values in the name of “phony populism” and “fake nationalism”:

“This is not your father’s Republican Party. They are not who we are. They are not who America is. What they are doing is sending a vision of America around the world that is distorted. That is damaging. That is hurting us… this phony population, this fake nationalism…. It’s time to say ‘no more.’”

Run, Joe, run!

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Mitt Romney, Utah Senate candidate, says he wouldn’t point to Donald _____ to serve as a role model for his grandchildren:

“I don’t think that I would point to the president as a role model for my grandkids on the basis of his personal style. He has departed in some cases from the truth and has attacked in a way that I think is not entirely appropriate.”

You flip-flopping-f**kity-f**k. When _____ was running for office, you blasted him, but when you need his support in Utah, you bent over and asked to take it, and now you’re doubling back around.

You are the worst of politics, a pandering flip-flopping-f**kity-f**k.

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Diane Black, GOP Congresswoman from Tennessee, blaming pornography for school shootings:

“It’s available on the shelf when you walk in the grocery store. Yeah, you have to reach up to get it, but there’s pornography there. All of this is available without parental guidance. I think that is a big part of the root cause.”

Let’s see, GOP cause of gun violence include pornography, video games, divorce, atheism, too many doors, junk food, Ritalin and trench coats.

But it’s never too many guns in this country.

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Samantha Bee, Full Frontal host, ripping Ivanka _____ for posting “the second most oblivious tweet we’ve seen this week.” as reports of immigrant children being separated from their families flood the news:

“You know, Ivanka, that’s a beautiful photo of you and your child, but, let me just say, one mother to another, do something about your dad’s immigration practices you feckless c**t. He listens to you! Put on something tight and low cut and tell your father to f**king stop it. Tell him it was an Obama thing and see how it goes.”

And, as if on cue, rightwingnuts and the White House shrieked that Bee’s choice of words was akin to Roseanne’s calling a black woman an ape, but, let’s be clear, asshats, any woman can be called a c**t no matter her age, skin color or whatever, and it’s not a very nice choice of words. But, quite simply, there is a huge difference between vulgarity and racism, and anyone with a brain knows that.

Bee has since apologized for calling Ivanka a c**t.

Thief, criminal, traitor, panderer, liar, grifter, self-entitled, out-of-touch, holier-than-thou, sweat shop owning illiterate mannequin is still good though.

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John Goodman, on not paying attention to the Roseanne Barr controversy …because he was never going to win an Emmy anyway:

“I wasn’t gonna get an Emmy anyway. I’ve been up there [11] times already, and if I didn’t get one I’m not gonna get one [and] I would rather say nothing than to cause more trouble.”

Wow, so you weren’t going to win an award, so you’ll say nothing about her vile Tweets?

Silence = Acceptance

Silence = Agreement

Way to stand up, Goodman.

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