, has been, on why there was a shooting at Marjorie Stoneman Douglas High School in Florida:
“Gun control is a debate we need to have. Another debate we need to have is something that’s also common in these shootings … the fact that these kids come from broken homes without dads. And that is not something that we’re talking about and that is a commonality. We want to talk about things we can work together on, how about working together to try to see what we can do to try to get more dads involved.”
Yup, because “these kids” come from broken homes, they end up shooting their classmates.
So, it’s either because their dads are absent or it’s because their moms are so bad, that kids turn to guns.
It has nothing to do with allowing a boy to buy a gun.
It’s the moms.
Stephen Colbert, on _____’s assertion that he would have run into that Florida school when the shooting started:
“There’s a lot in there that I doubt, but the part I really don’t believe is that he can run. Sir, we already know how you react to combat situations,. “What are you going to do? Run in there and stab them with your bone spurs?”
Seriously, the man who asked for a golf cart because he didn’t want to walk 100 feet … the man who cried hurt feet to avoid combat …is gonna run into a school.
Run. It’s funny, cuz it’ll never happen.
Gregory Angelo, Log Cabin Republican president, defending _____’s LGBT presidential record:
“This president is the first president to enter the White House who believes that marriage equality is settled law of the land. Barack Obama didn’t believe that when he entered the White House. Hillary Clinton only came around to that position in 2013.”
First off, gay Republican is an oxymoron, emphasis on moron.
Secondly how could Obama have entered the White House believe marriage equality was the settled law of the land when it wasn’t the settled law of the land.
Thirdly, how is _____ pro-LGBT when he wants to ban trans Americans from military service, allow religious discrimination of gay people and not do one singled goddamned thing for our community.
Fuck off, lapdog.
Seth Meyers, also weighing in on _____’s reaction to the Parkland shooting and his ideas to solve the problem:
“Forget running into a school to confront a shooter, I don’t think you’d run anywhere period. You can’t even be bothered to walk down a flight of stairs…Then again, I said before that I didn’t think he’d run and man, did I get burned. This is one of the worst things about having Trump as president. Every time he goes on TV and blurts the dumbest things in the world, the rest of us have to debate it like it’s a real idea. He says, ‘Hey, I think we should take incredibly stressed-out people who make $30,000 a year and give them guns’ and then Wolf Blitzer has to stand there and go, ‘Sh*t, well let’s ask the panel.’ Teachers need supplies, not guns. The only guns that should be in schools are glue guns. And they should be used the way all students use them: to glue the shop teacher’s butt to his chair.”
Seriously. Rather than arm our teachers with weaponry, let’s arm them with the tools they need to educate the future of this country.
Barack Obama, on those students from Florida taking on the politicians and the NRA:
“Young people have helped lead all our great movements. How inspiring to see it again in so many smart, fearless students standing up for their right to be safe; marching and organizing to remake the world as it should be. We’ve been waiting for you and we’ve got your backs.”
My president. I wish we could have kept him.