Thursday, September 01, 2016

Random Musings

Carlos is a procrastinator of epic proportions and I have learned over the last sixteen years to never get ready to go before he gets ready to go. See, if I get ready first, I end up sitting and waiting and waiting for him to do almost anything but getting ready.

This past Sunday we were headed out to run some errands and I asked him to get ready. But first he wanted to show me a ceiling fan he’d seen online and thought we could use … so I waited.

Sidenote: to be fair, while the one he liked was kinda awful, we found a beautiful one that we both liked and may end up buying.

Meanwhile, back to Carlos. After viewing pages of ceiling fans, I again said, ‘Let’s go,’ and left the room; a few minutes later I went back and he was on Facebook so I muttered something passive aggressive as I am wont to do and went back to the living room to wait.

And then, many, many, minutes later he comes out and he’s dressed and ready to go. I ask him to put the dog in the sunroom while I change clothes … which I did in about ninety-seconds.

Now I’m ready … but where’s Carlos? Oh, yeah, he decided that was the time, the only time, to trim MaxGoldberg’s nails and so I find him in the laundry room with Max cowering on the dryer getting his nails clipped.

And I wait. And finally, again, he’s ready; he puts Ozzo in the sunroom, I grab the car keys and head to the garage. I open the garage door and get into my car and start the engine; where’s Carlos?

Oh, there he is, at the door, ready to come into the garage, and then he’s gone. And he’s gone. And he’s gone. And he’s gone. And … I am growing annoyed.

Finally, he appears — after I have been passively aggressively beeping the horn — and walks to the car, opens the passenger door, and slides into the passenger seat … of his car! 

Yes, I am sitting in the driver’s seat of my car and staring at him sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

I start laughing hysterically … on and on and on and on; it was so funny I completely forgot to be annoyed at his procrastination.
After a year of anti-immigrant rhetoric, and calling Mexicans rapists and drug dealers and murderers and saying he’d build a wall and Mexico would pay for it, The [t]Rump expects us to believe that during his trip to Mexico yesterday — where, in front of Mexicans, he heaped praise on hard-working immigrants — that he didn’t discuss the wall and Mexico cutting a check for it?

F**king lying carnival barker.
Let me get this queer:

Colin Kaepernick sits out the National Anthem as a protest to racial inequality in this country and he is vilified for it.

Ryan Lochte gets drunk in Brazil, vandalizes private property and then lies about it for days on end and gets on Dancing With The Stars.

I'll sit with Kaepernick.
I'm not saying this is me ... and I'm not saying it isn't me ... I'm just saying I could be Linus.
You know, you have to take political polls with a grain of salt, but I find this one especially, if not telling, at least hysterical.

Public Policy Polling released a new poll on The [t]Rump which shows that he is less popular than middle seats on airplanes … and no one likes the middle seat, you know.

The better news is that people do like [t]Rump more than bedbugs, though I’m sure some think he is a bedbug.

However, among black and Latino voters, not only do bedbugs beat The [t]Rump, but more people prefer the bubonic plague, mosquitoes, Ryan Lochte, and carnies over him.

All in fun, but then this is interesting … among black voters, 97% find [t]Rump unfavorable while 3% are unsure of him, which means that not one black voter included in the survey have a favorable opinion of The [t]Rump .

Speaking of [t]Rump — and then I’ll stop — his doctor, one Harold Bornstein, recently revealed that he wrote that letter predicting [t]Rump would be the “healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency” in 5 minutes while the [t]Rump limo waited downstairs.

After being asked to write the letter, the doctor spent all day thinking of what to say and came up with bupkis but then he said he channeled his inner [t]Rump, using “his kind of language and then just interpreted it to my own.”

And remember this man whom Bornstein says would be the healthiest president ever is the same man who fifty years ago was too sick to go to Vietnam.

Just sayin’.
Anne Marie produced a list of questions over on her blog last week and I decided to answer them — go here, From My Brain To My Mouth, to read them all and maybe take part.

One question was ‘When was the last time you cried?’

Well, I’m a crier … sue me … so, it took me a second to recall that I had teared up last Saturday afternoon during a Logo Golden Girl’s marathon, most notably, the episode where Sophia’s cross-dressing son has died and she cannot cry for him.

Finally, at the very end it hits her and she begins to weep, saying, “My boy is dead.”
I cried, too.

But later on, during the Anne Marie Questionnaire, was a question about the last movie I saw. That would be a movie we watched Saturday night called Love is Strange, about an older gay couple who fall on hard times and lose their home. They are forced to live separately for some time, and just before getting back together one of them dies.

I cried then, too. yeah, again, I cried … sue me.
We recently watched a little film about the building of the gardens at Versailles called A Little Chaos. It starred Kate Winslet, whom I have dubbed the Young English Meryl Streep but this isn’t about her, it’s about her co-star, Matthias Schoenaerts.

Schoenaerts is a Belgian actor, film producer and, this is new, a graffiti artist; he’s also smoldering.

Just sayin’.
One of the main reasons Carlos and I landed in South Carolina from Florida is the fact that we went through a bad year with hurricanes in 2005 and 2006; Katrina ripped the roof off our home and Wilma came later and tore down the fence. We were tired of hurricanes and so ten years ago this fall we moved north.

Cut to this morning and we’re watching the weather about the latest tropical storm/hurricane, Hermes, becoming the first hurricane to hit Florida in ten years.

Wait. What? There hasn’t been a hurricane in Florida since we left and this Hermes fella is bearing down on Florida and then heading to South Carolina??

Lord, if it wasn’t for bad luck we’d have no luck at all.

Just kidding, we both found it funny that the reason that caused us to move north stopped almost as soon as we left.

Oh well, we good use some rain.


BloggerJoe said...

My sister has a husband like Carlos. For 30 years I've watched the same interactions and shaken my head.

the dogs' mother said...

Come to WA state - we have volcanoes and the earthquake
from hell they keep warning us about!
Seriously, stay dry and hope the rain doesn't
get out of hand.

anne marie in philly said...

I just peed myself over the twitter posting! cleanup on aisle 8!

Biki Honko said...

Love is Strange was a good movie, with a very sad ending.

TH procrastinates until I give up and do the task I've asked him to do, and then he complains that I didn't give him a "chance" to accomplish it!

Debra She Who Seeks said...

The thing that I laughed the most about when watching "Love is Strange" is how the introvert got stuck living with an apartment full of extroverts and vice versa! Ain't that always the goddamn truth?

I signed on awhile ago to follow your blog with Google Friend Connect but for some unknown reason your posts were not showing up in my blog reader. I think I've remedied the issue now so I'm looking forward to seeing your posts regularly.

Plowing Through Life (Martha) said...

The twitter posting...BHAHAHAHA! Best laugh of the day :)

Raybeard said...

Carlos' behaviour is so much like one of my cats who, when I call him, will do anything at all to avoid giving the impression that he cares about obeying me, like distractedly sniffing objects which had been close to him anyway. Conduct calculated to annoy!

'Love is Strange' - good film.

And that tweet of the rubber-faced Trump, priceless.

Anonymous said...

I feel for you. I spent half my life waiting for Guido.