Saturday, February 22, 2014

I Ain't One To Gossip But ....

Okay, so Rosie Perez and Jennifer Lopez are in some kind of feud, and have been for twenty years! It all started when Rosie and JLo met in 1991 while auditioning as Fly Girls for In Living Color, and apparently things went downhill between them pretty quickly. And Rosie is talking about it all in her new book, Handbook For an Unpredictable Life.

Rosie, who was a choreographer at the time, says she convinced the show’s creator Keenan Ivory Wayans to hire Lopez even though he didn’t want to — he called JLo “corny and chubby” — as long as she promised to lose 20 lbs and cut her hair. That seems plausible enough, right?

But Rosie says that when Jennifer got the job, she completely changed her personality and went “ghetto biatch” on everyone, creating a rift that’s lasted until the present day between the two women:
“All of the girls were coming into my office complaining how she was manipulating wardrobe, makeup, and me, all to her advantage.”
Rosie kinda wrote the whole thing off as girls being jealous, until JLo dropped her “sweet-girl act” and “went off” on Perez like “some ghetto biatch, screaming and pounding her chest”:
“You pick on me, me and only me, every f–king day! Every f–king day! I work my ass off, deliver and you keep pushing me aside, treating me like sh-t! I know I’m good! I’m better than any of these girls, and you know it.”
JLo left the show after two seasons but didn’t drop her anger toward Perez; Rosie says Lopez has made “disparaging comments” about her after hitting it big in Hollywood:
“I was blindsided. I’d thought we were cool. I called her up. She wouldn’t pick up. Frustrated, I left her an irate message on her answering machine. Instead of calling me back and hashing it out like friends do, she went on a major talk show and reiterated my lashing.”
And years later, the two ran into each other at a club and JLo acted like nothing had ever happened.

Sounds like a delusional JLo to me …
Poor Drake. He needs a hug, or maybe a good Reality Smack.

See, he gave an interview to Rolling Stone and he whined about the text that Macklemore sent to Kendrick Lamar after he won the Grammy for Best Rap Album. And he dogged Kanye a bit about his last album, as well.

But, trying to stay on Kanye’s good side — I kid, Kanye doesn’t have a good side — Drake said his Kanye Komments were taken out of context, and Tweeted:
I never commented on Yeezus for my interview portion of Rolling Stone. They also took my cover from me last minute and ran the issue. — Drizzy (@Drake) February 13, 2014
Oh, so he’s also pissed that Rolling Stone bumped him from the cover and replaced him with a cover photo of the late Philip Seymour Hoffman. This caused Drake to Tweet:
I'm disgusted with that. RIP to Phillip Seymour Hoffman. All respect due. But the press is evil. — Drizzy (@Drake) February 13, 2014
And if that wasn’t enough of a temper tantrum, he then Tweeted:
I’m done doing interviews for magazines. I just want to give my music to the people. That’s the only way my message gets across accurately. . — Drizzy (@Drake) February 13, 2014
Oh honey, we got your message. You’re pissed because a dead guy took your spot on a magazine cover.

Sit down, Drizzy. Except he didn’t because he knew he sounded like a whiny little douche so he posted an apology on his website:
Tough Day At The Office
With today being the 5th anniversary of So Far Gone I figured it’s fitting to return to it’s place of its origin in order to clear the air about an extremely emotional day. I completely support and agree with Rolling Stone replacing me on the cover with the legendary Phillip Seymour Hoffman. He is one of the most incredible actors of our time and a man that deserves to be immortalized by this publication.
My frustration stemmed from the way it was executed. The circumstances at hand are completely justifiable (on the magazines behalf), but I was not able to salvage my story or my photos and that was devastating. They ran the issue without giving me a choice to be in it or not. I would have waited until it was my time because I understand the magnitude of the cover they chose but I just wasn’t given that option and that made me feel violated.
I apologize to anybody who took my initial comments out of context because in no way would I ever want to offend the Hoffman family or see myself as bigger than that moment. I am still the same person. Today I was forced out of my character and felt the need to react swiftly. These days are the worst ones.
Waking up after a great night in the studio and it’s your day to be picked apart. After dwelling on it for a few hours or days you will come to the conclusion that you brought it on yourself almost every time.
So here I am having that moment. I once again apologize to everybody who took my cover comments the wrong way. I respect Rolling Stone for being willing to give a kid from Toronto a shot at the cover. I guess this is a day to learn and grow.
The Boy
He should have skipped the 'out of context' part and played up the 'I’m sorry' bits more because he still sound like a pissy little biatch.
Charlie Sheen has been dating porn star Brett Rossi for a couple of months now so it must be time to put a ring on it?

Charlie proposed to Brett — who is rumored to have convinced him to ditch his management team, and to evict two of his ex-wives from the houses he bought for them — in Hawaii over the weekend and they celebrated by inviting a paparazzo to document the moment.

Brett will be Charlie’s fourth wife, but he’s calling her his third since his first marriage to Donna Peele was annulled and it doesn’t count—and he sent a statement to People to explain that:
 “With all due respect to Donna –
that maiden Klay-Vinn was annulled.
if “three”
truly is a charm;
The mashup/acronym
of the real CS,
(Charlie & Scottie)
HAS to be;
Wow, compared to Charlie, Drake’s little apology now makes complete sense.
Kendall Jenner and Kim Kardashian are said to be feuding because Kendall is becoming a more respected model, something Kim has long wanted to be, even though she has an ass the size of a Fiat. So, now Kim is stuck with being famous for being famous, and being famously married and divorced a couple of times and being famously knocked up by a loony rapper, and Kendall is a model, and much to Kim’s chagrin and That Woman's delight, is proving to be a more marketable tool upon which to make a mint.

Kendall’s got Harry Styles — not nearly as Kray Kray as Kanye — and she’s got the modeling career that Kim so desperately longed for and may, she just may, land that Vogue cover that Kim wants and Kanye’s trying to buy for her.

In fact, Kendall Jenner — a Kardastrophe by proximity — actually sat beside Anna Wintour — the Kim-Loathing-Wintour — during Fashion Week and recently was featured in Vogue.

Kim, for her part, only came close to Anna Wintour at the Met Gala last year and by close I mean nowhere near; in fact, Kim was famously edited out of every single photograph she was in on the Vogue website.

It’s like she doesn’t even exist, but I’m sure we’ll hear her head explode when Kendall covers Vogue.
Speaking of Kim Kardastrophe …

It’s clear that the Kash Kow is no stranger to the plastic surgeon, or the filler, or the Botox-er. It’s also clear that Kim will never admit to going under the knife, or the needle or the spatula or whatever it is they use.

After she gave birth to NorthSouthEastWest, there was all sorts of talk about postpartum tweaking; nose work, Botox …

Now, as we gear up for another season of Kardastrophe, plastic surgeon Dr. Anthony Youn is talking about Kim, and while not calling her a “plastic surgery addict” he says she is definitely a “plastic surgery enthusiast”:
“It appears to me Kim’s had quite a bit of work done — some she’s admitted to, and some we can speculate about.”
Indeed, she copped to having Botox done as far back as 2010 and Dr. Youn agrees:
“I believe she’s undergone Botox injections to smooth the wrinkles of her forehead and her frown lines. Although I doubt she’s had a surgical brow lift, she looks like she’s had a Botox brow lift, where Botox is injected in a pattern to raise and arch the brows.”
In addition, Dr. Youn declared, “I do believe she may have gone under the knife for a nose job, thinning out and straightening her nose, making it look more glamorous [and her] lips appear to have been plumped with fillers, although she doesn’t sport the ‘trout pout’ of some other reality stars.”

Think the good doctor might be wrong? Take a look at this picture: Kim today on the left and Kim a few years back on the right.

Uh huh.
I kinda don’t believe this story because I really like Emma Stone, but, well, you know, gotta share it.

It seems like an Emma Stone selfies—of the nekkid variety—has surfaced and is arcing around the interwebz faster than Lindsay Lohan at last call. More fans have seen this picture than her last flop, Movie 43.

Possibly so because I’ve never heard of Movie 43 and it came out a year ago!
So, some folks—not me, like I said, I like Emma—are saying the flop film is what prompted Emma to take promotional matters into her own hands and snap a naked selfie of herself that “accidentally” gets leaked to the press.

It’s the new press release, y’all!

I mean, Emma does have a slew of new films coming out this year and maybe she needs a little interest to take people’s minds off of Movie 43—seriously, how did I miss that? Huge Ackman was in it! Emma is set to be seen onscreen in The Amazing Spiderman 2 this May, Woody Allen’s Magic in the Moonlight in July, and an untitled Cameron Crowe film in December.

And, while I won’t post the nekkid selfie here—it’s a nekkid woman, y’all—I have seen it and while it does bear a resemblance to Stone, the iPhone covers the face somewhat so ….

And there appears to be more evidence that shows that either the photo is a fake, or it is a selfies of Emma pre-2010 because after that year Emma got a tattoo on her left wrist which is not present in the nekkid selfies.

Like I said, I didn’t believe it; I was just providing a public gossip service.
So, a few years ago, Victoria Beckham had some serious cleavage, I guess. I don’t know because I can only see her unsmiling alien face when I think of her. And usually when I think of her it’s in passing on my way to thinking about her husband.

But, it turns out, she actually did go through with getting breast implants at some point, but then she decided to treat them like a pair of ill-fitting Jimmy Choos and return them.

As Posh now says:
 “I don’t have them anymore. I think I may have purchased them.”
Purchased them? And what? Left them in the trunk of the car?

How does one just purchase breast implants. By the name alone they need to be implanted.



the dogs' mother said...

but I’m sure we’ll hear her head explode when Kendall covers Vogue.


Robert said...

Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you for making me laugh out loud this morning.

I so needed it. :-)

anne marie in philly said...

JLo's a ho, and her 15 minutes of fame were up yesterday.

drake and sheen belong together with yeezus in the middle. hoo wee! drugged-up crazies!

dump the jenners/kardastrophies in the garbage disposal and grind away!

posh is a jerk.

and KK has "never" had plastic anything? bitch please!

Bob Slatten said...

It's a service we provide here at ISBL.
And by 'we' I mean 'me'!

Helen Lashbrook said...

Apart from all the money I can't see why Victoria Beckham is a style icon. She's so thin she could crack if the wind blows, she is a living advert for what happens when you get osteoporosis at 35. Give me food or give me a body like hers? No contest, bring on the pizza.

mistress maddie said...

Oh BoB, it's all the rage to get breast implants and then return them! I have to admit I do like the Beckham's. I think a night out with them would be cool. As far as mu idol Anna goes, and I never though I'd say this, SHOULD put Jenner on the cover. That would start World War 3 within that family. Kim would blow up taking out the Woman, as we know from Syfy movies, once the monster is killed all other realtions just wither and pass on!

Mitchell is Moving said...

Uff! Drake just wants to GIVE his music to the people? What a guy! Which charity will all that money go to? I can't believe Charlie Sheen can actually still stand without assistance. And, oh crap, I completely forgot about those breast implants I purchased. Now where the hell did I put them?

Professor Chaos said...

I have to think the porn star would be worried about what she might catch from Charlie Sheen!

Debbie said...

I TOTALLY believe Rosie. JLo IS a ghetto bitch or at least a wanna-be ghetto bitch. You know I hate JLo. As for Kendall Jenner, YES! I hope she gets the cover of Vogue. That would drive Kimmie CWAZY. Though Kendall is not technically a Kardashian, she still is the spawn of "that woman" (lol)and you know I hate her as well. Great post Bob.