Bullshit Barbie's CliffsNotes for Press Briefings™

Poor Kayleigh McEnany promised the press she’d never lie to them—which was broken the second that last syllable escaped her lips—but she never promised she’d be an incompetent moron, and yet here she is …

Last week Reuters photographer Jonathan Ernst captured a closeup of the binder McEnany brings with her to every briefing and, well, it’s high-larious and indicative of everything that’s wrong about this White House, Hot Mess.

You see, at every briefing, McEnany is seen flipping through her Cliff Notes of Press Secretary-ing  and then appearing to read verbatim from pre-written responses. Now, to be fair, there’s a lot of information on a variety of topics, so that explains the binder tabs marked “Covid” and “Test” as well as “PPE,” “Masks,” “CDC,” and “Cases.”

But then there’s the tab “Mary,” allegedly information on The Occupant’s niece who just released a tell-all book about her batshit crazy sociopathic uncle; or the one marked “Hogan,” which may refer to Maryland’s Republican Governor Larry Hogan who wrote a scathing Washington Post essay condemning _____’s pandemic response. 

And then there’s “Goya,” which I don’t think is an ethnic foods recipe section.

The other day McEnany—pronounced Mac-ah-ninny—seemed to read from the LGBTQ section after being asked about _____’s ban on transgender troops by saying:

“I haven’t talked to him about that specific policy, but this president is proud that in 2019 we launched a global initiative to end the criminalization of homosexuality throughout the world. He has a great record when it comes to the LGBT community. The Trump administration eased a ban on blood donations from gay and bisexual men and he launched a plan to end the AIDS epidemic by 2030, so we’re very proud of our achievements.”

But nary a word about the transgender ban because I guess there’s no tab for that?

Here are some of Kayleigh’s actual tabs …

This one is full because everything is Obama’s fault.

This one is the biggest and perhaps the only one she really needs. The other one is recipes.

This one is empty, and the Russia one contains Love Letters from Donny to Vladdy™.

And, lastly, sadly, she can’t even spell Mueller correctly.

I Didn't Say It ,,,

Dr. Anthony Fauci, paying tribute AIDS activist Larry Kramer, who went from adversary to friend over the years:

“This is a very sad day, not only for me, but for many people who’ve had the opportunity to deal with Larry Kramer. He was a most unusual figure in a very positive sense. He was a firebrand. He had extraordinary courage to speak out and challenge the system that was in place at the time of the early years of HIV/AIDS. As a government official who was trying to do a job to address this, he saw me as the face of the federal government. And we became adversaries. I wasn’t an adversary to him, but boy, he was an adversary to me. He attacked me, he called me a murderer, he called me an incompetent idiot—I mean, publicly. But then, as I got to listen to what he had to say, I realized that he was making some important points that we in the establishment needed to listen to. We became, gradually, friends, and then we became very good friends, and then we became colleagues in the struggle. So it turned out that, you know, I loved the guy. And I think he loved me back. And it was a very interesting journey that we went through together. From the very beginning, when there was no hope, and we were adversaries, to the point where we had extraordinarily effective drugs and were able to save the lives of so many people, that we became sort of old guys together looking back at history and realizing what an amazing journey we’d been through together. So I’m very sad that we lost him. He was just an extraordinary man.”

I love that Kramer and Fauci were adversaries who learned to listen to one another and then work together.

It speaks volumes about both men.

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Dan Levy, Schitt’s Creek actor and creator  and Hot Gay, on his weariness at seeing people hostile about wearing masks:

“I’ve been seeing a lot of viral videos about people who are actively not wearing masks because they perceive it to be an infringement on their freedom, and I suppose, in a way I can understand the frustration of being told what to do, which is why I would like to propose a re-contextualization of this whole thing. Imagine seeing it not as an infringement on your freedom, but rather the simplest, easiest act of kindness that you can do in a day. Not just for yourself, but for other people who might have autoimmune issues. People who, if they were to contract COVID with those issues might have some devastating repercussions. If you have the freedom to leave your house, if you have the good health to leave your house, why not put on a mask, make it your good deed for the day and do something nice for yourself and other people.”

It is the simplest form of kindness, but sadly, with what passes for leadership in our country and sets the example, many people are like _____ and have a Me First, F%k You mentality.

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Kayleigh McEnany, White House Press Liar, defending _____’s Tweets about that debunked Joe Scarborough murder conspiracy theory:

“Mika accused the president of being responsible for 100,000 deaths in this country. That’s incredibly irresponsible. They’ve dragged his family through the mud, they’ve made false accusations that I won’t go through, that I would not say from this podium and they should be held to account.”

First off, you lying asshat, if Mika accused _____ of killing 100,000 people then go after her—even though she’s right. Why go after Scarborough? Oh yeah, narcissistic little baby man.

Fact: 100,000+ Americans have died because the _____ administration bungled the response to the pandemic.

Fact. Take a seat, liar.

PS: In 2015, Kayleigh McEnany called _____ a "racist" and said he made "derogatory" and "hateful" comments about Mexican immigrants.

Five years later she’s his lapdog.

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Dr. Deborah Birx, on if she thinks the country is reopening too soon:

“I think a few things are together. So from the beginning, and I think when we had that first briefing, we talked about 1.2 million to 2.4 million [infected] and 100,000 to 240,000 people succumbing to this incredibly aggressive virus. Those are the figures that we continue to stand by in this first wave and really understanding how to prevent future hospitalizations and future deaths is really what we’re focused on every single day.”

But hey, a few people die so the airlines and oil companies start making millions again. Business is business and as long as it’s just old or poor or black or Latino people, who cares?

That’s how America’s “leaders” feel.

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Kellyanne Conway, White House Cryptkeeper, coming out against mail-in voting:

“People very proudly show up and go to the polls. They really are, I mean they wait in line for, at Georgetown Cupcake for an hour to get a cupcake. So I think they can probably wait in line to do something as consequential and critical and constitutionally significant as cast their ballot. The Democrats don’t like their candidate, they didn’t want Joe Biden to be their nominee, so they’re looking for any which way they can to, to find other methods by which to make him more appealing to the voters.”

Two things Kelly:

#1 how pissed are your hair and makeup people at you, you rabid wet dog?

#2: so, you admit if mail-in voting occurs your president will lose?

#3: Democrats like our candidate, we don’t like yours, because, among a thousand other things, he stood by and let 100,000 people die.

Oh, and _____ votes by mail so how it is right for him and not for the rest of us? Our military men and women all around the world vote by mail\, too.

Asshat. Someone put her leash back on and drag her to the basement.

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Anderson Cooper, CNN, also paying tribute to Larry Kramer:

“Larry Kramer once called me a ‘useless homosexual. I’d never met him, but it really hurt because I admired him so much. A short time after he said it, I went to see a play that he’d written, and he heard I was coming, and he waited after the performance to see me. He came up to me. I expected him to yell at me, but he shook my hand and smiled shyly and said, ‘I’ve said some terrible things about you, Anderson.’ And I said, ‘I know Larry, but that’s OK, and I want to thank you.’ Thirty-two million people have died of AIDS so far,” Cooper concluded. “There’s no vaccine yet, but there is incredibly effective treatment for those who can get it—and prevention. And Larry Kramer played a big part in that. You may not have heard of him or liked him if you did, but to me, he’s a hero, and now he’s gone.”

Larry is a hero and will always be one.

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Bobservations

Carlos was talking about his former job working with the Hispanic community, the unhoused community, and the local schools to talk to kids about drugs and drinking and smoking.

Well, one day he and a few women on the staff went to a local middle school for an anti-drug program but before they got started there was a woman there selling faces creams for blotchy skin and under eye bags and tiny wrinkles and before you could, ‘Wait one damn minute,’ Carlos was slathered in creams and potions and lotions, none of which worked.

I asked him why he did it, and he said, wait for it, the ladies made him. Then I reminded him of that one word in the English language that might have saved him:

“No.”

“But you don’t know these women!”

Oh Carlos … and then he told me there was a picture of him covered in lotions and potions so I am on the hunt for that!

This Tuxedo Says is from August 2021:

"Once again Tuxedo has proven that, like his two Dads, he has zero fucks left to give to these anti-masker, anti-vaxxer loons."

And it wouldn’t be lost on Tuxedo to note that the MAGAts have no problem with ICEstapo masking up and murdering people and arresting children.

I forgot to mention that this month in my household is called Fuckuary as it is the month where my mother passed away February 17 2007; my Aunt Pam passed away February 14, 2009; my sister Jeri passed February 15, 2014; my father passed away February 1, 2024;  and while some of you may not count your pets as family, I do, and so ... The Great Tuxedo passed away February 15, 2023.

I don’t enjoy February Fuckuary.

A veritable who’s who of who’s that was the “celebrity” guest list for the premiere of Melanie’s “movie” at the Kennedy Center:

Daytime TV host has-been Dr. Phil; Dr. Mehmet Quack Oz; rapper Waka Flocka Flame; social media magician Pete Anthony Sciarrino III; Fox “News” host Maria Baritomo; Jordan Belfort, the serial fraudster. And then you have the people forced to show up lest Cankles go off like DUI hire Pete Hegseth; Second Lady Usha Vance’ Attorney General Pamela Jo  Bondi, FBI director Kash Patel; and heroin addict RFK Jr.

Sounds abysmal, doesn’t it?

I needed a palette cleanser after that last bit so here’s a photo of the flotation devices my neighbors have at their pool.

Keep in mind that the DOJ arrested journalists Don Lemon, Georgia Fort, Jamael Lydell Lundy and Trahern Jeen Crews; all people of color; all journalists covering a story.

Who has not been arrested by the DOJ are Jonathan Ross, who shot Nicole Good four times, once in the face, and ICEstapo agents Jesus Ochoa and Raymundo Gutierrez who shot Alex Pretti as he laid on the ground dying.

Down in Texas of all places Democrat Taylor Rehmet has flipped Texas Senate District 9 Blue, pulling off a major electoral upset in a district Cankles won by 17 points in 2024.

It’s coming … the Blue Wave!

Fox “News” host Bullshit Barbie AKA Kayleigh McEnany is pushing for Melanie to win an Academy Award for the documentary “Melanie: From Whore House to White House.”

In addition to seeing Melanie get an Oscar, McEnany claimed Melanie would outshine everyone in attendance at Hollywood’s most glamorous event:

“If she was to go, she would be the best dressed and the classiest dressed by a long shot.”

Bullshit, Barbie.

Damian Baugh  models for most of the top agencies when he isn’t foraging wild mushrooms for his mushroom business—seriously—and hoping to create his own fashion line, so with all that, Would You Hit It?

I Didn't Say It ...

Joe Biden, on _____’s  betrayal of the American public over COVID-19:

“He knew how deadly it was. It was much more deadly than the flu. He knew and purposely played it down. Worse, he lied to the American people. He knowingly and willingly lied about the threat it posed to the country for months. He had the information. He knew how dangerous it was. And while this deadly disease ripped through our nation, he failed do his job on purpose! It was a life and death betrayal on the American people. His failure has not only cost lives, it has sent our economy in a tailspin. It cost millions more in American livelihoods. This is a recession created by Donald _____’s negligence, and he’s unfit for this job as a consequence of it. How many schools aren’t open right now? How many kids are starting a new school year the same way they ended the last one, at home? How many parents feel abandoned and overwhelmed? How many frontline workers are exhausted and pushed to their limits? And how many families are missing loved ones at their dinner table tonight because of his failures? It’s beyond despicable. It’s a dereliction of duty, it’s a disgrace.”

He’s.A.Murderer.

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Kayleigh McEnany, AKA Bullshit Barbie, White House Press Secretary, on _____’s lies:

“The president never downplayed the virus. The president expressed calm …. This president embodied the American spirit, that when we face a challenge, a crisis, a pandemic, we come together, we can be optimistic. We can be serious about it, we can take it seriously with our actions, which is exactly what this president does. It’s why we lead the world in testing. Doing far more than the number two, which is India. he took this seriously but he still expressed calm.”

Um, Kayleigh, you ignorant fuck, his voice is on tape saying he would play down the seriousness of the virus. You’re either fucking dumb, delusional, or a pandering asshat.

No, I take that back, you’re all three and more, because you probably knew the truth in January, too.

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Paul Eaton, retired Major General of the Army, on _____’s disdain for our military men and women:

“I am pretty unhappy with you, Mr. _____ …. I’m going to keep this short for your famous short attention span. You have shown disrespect to the military on countless occasions … I am stunned that anybody in the United States military would consider you anything but a loser and a sucker. You’re no patriot.”

Well, I knew he wasn’t a patriot when he tried five times to get out of military service, and then had Daddy buy him a doctor’s excuse.

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Jenna Karvunidis, credited with creating the “gender reveal party” on the fire started in California from a gender reveal fireworks display:

“Stop it. Stop having these stupid parties. For the love of God, stop burning things down to tell everyone about your kid’s penis. No one cares but you. It was 116 degrees in Pasadena yesterday and this tool thought it would be smart to light a fire about his kid’s dick. Toxic masculinity is men thinking they need to explode something because simply enjoying a baby party is for sissies. Oh, and of course I’m getting hate messages. Excuse me for having a cake for my family in 2008. Just because I’m the [gender reveal inventor] doesn’t mean I think people should burn down their communities.”

For the record, Karvunidis’ gender reveal method was a cake. And no one died, and no property was destroyed.

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Donald _____ Jr., promoting his latest book that someone wrote for him, when asked why the _____ Administration hasn’t condemned the actions of that 17-year-old Kenosha murderer:

“We’re waiting for due process. We’re not jumping to a conclusion. If I put myself in [I won’t say his name], maybe I shouldn’t have been there. He’s a young kid. I don’t want 17-year-olds running around the street with AR-15s. Maybe I wouldn’t have put myself in that situation. Who knows? But we all do stupid things at 17. But we all have to let that process play out and let due process take its course.”

And when the host remarked that murdering people was a “little beyond stupid” Junior snapped:

“Really stupid—fine.”

Murdering people is really stupid. Funny, I also thought it was against the law, but for Diaper Don, as long as white people are murdering the ‘right’ people, it’s okay, buy kinda dumb.

Fuck off.

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Pete Buttigieg, on _____’s comments about our fallen soldiers:

“When he was a young man, he faked a disability so he could avoid serving when it was his turn. We watched him refer to prisoners of war like John McCain as losers with our own eyes. If you are watching this at home, here’s how willing Donald _____ is to insult your intelligence. Today he denied he ever called John McCain a loser. Again, if you’re watching this at home, grab your phone, go on Google, you can see video of him doing it. You can see a tweet of him doing it. So, I think it’s pretty easy to figure out who to believe.”

Never _____. Never ever _____.

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I Didn't Say It ...

Ronen Rubinstein, actor on Fox’s 9-1-1: Lone Star, coming out as bisexual, and says playing a gay character on the show, helped him come out:

“I fully identify as bisexual. I literally just got goosebumps saying that. It feels so good to talk about it, it feels so good to finally be comfortable with it … The biggest thing for me is where I come from, it’s like people like me and people who have identified as bisexual or gay or as any part of the community, you’re just not welcomed. It’s as brutally honest as that. It’s either you faced insane amounts of profanity, like the F-word was thrown around all the time or you would get your ass kicked if you were gay. [Jessica Parker Kennedy, Rubinstein’s girlfriend] is actually one of the first people that sort of respectfully called me out on it. She’s like, ‘Is there something we need to talk about?’ And I said, ‘Maybe.’ She definitely encouraged me to be vocal about it, just to live my truth. She’s like, ‘I love you for who you are, your full self and people will love you for who you are and your full self.’ I want people to know that they’re not alone and it’s definitely okay. Trust me, I know that it is not easy. My path has not been easy at all, but it’s just one more thing that I can share with people to help them and let them know that I’m here for them.”

Welcome out, Ronen, and know that your journey will help someone else take that first step. Every time a member of the LGBTQ+ community out, it creates a path for others.

Thank you.

PS Is he adorable, or what?

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Kayleigh McEnany, AKA Bullshit Barbie and Thing #45’s Press Liar, in her new job at Fox News, appearing on Hannity on Fox news, to lie:

“It’s just really important to point out that the standard is so high to hold any of these news organizations accountable. You have to prove intentional malice. It is extremely hard to prove. It’s why 60 Minutes—it’s why the left, MSNBC, CNN, they get away with murder each and every day. They can say whatever they want because you can’t hold them accountable. It’s a travesty.”

This from the same news channel where Fucker Carlos said no one attacked the Capitol, they simply walked into their building.

Nice to see Kayleigh is as full of shit as ever.

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Pete Buttigieg, on Fox News, talking about Infrastructure Week and those who don’t seem to know what that means:

"I heard the governor of South Dakota recently saying, 'this isn't infrastructure—it’s got money for pipes.' Well, we believe that pipes are infrastructure, because you need water to live. And too many families now live with the threat of lead poisoning."

Sadly, the Governor of South Dakota, Kristi Noem, is a GQPer, so Pete will need crayons and gold stars to make her understand that infrastructure isn’t just roads and bridges.

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S.E. Cupp, Political commentator, on the continuing threat from supports of Thing #45:

“I’m here for a post-MAGA America, one that resides permanently within a history book and not in a newspaper, but we don’t yet live in that America. I’m sad to say [the twice-impeached, one-term loser] is not ‘irrelevant’—the ‘nightmare’ is not over. For one, he’s trying to influence the 2022 midterms, and is likely to play a significant role in Republican efforts to win back Congress. Considering Biden’s substantial and fragile agenda, that seems, er, important. Likewise, [the twice-impeached, one-term loser] may very well run for president again in 2024. And if you want to know what it looks like when the media doesn’t take a presidential run seriously, see the early months of 2016 and the eventual result. Believe me, no one wants to be past [the twice-impeached, one-term loser]-ism more than I do. We can plug our ears, cover our eyes, and will him to go away. But the reality is, [the twice-impeached, one-term loser]  is still a big problem for America—and yes, a problem worth covering.”

Notice that many of Thing #45’s faithful lapdogs are now working as “news” people over on Fox, helping the former guy keep his lies and hate in the public.

Stay vigilant. Speak up. And, say it with me: CAST A GODDMANED VOTE.

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John Autry, Democratic state representative from North Carolina politician, criticizing legislation that targets transgender children like his granddaughter:

"For me, it's a personal issue. I have family members that are in the LGBTQ community, including a grandchild that identifies as female and is transitioning. I would do anything to protect any of my children and my grandchildren and that is one of the reasons I am so supportive with these measures here today. You know, a transgender girl is not a boy, and the emails that I am receiving portraying that there is some conspiracy of transgender youth to assume an identity that they were not born with to cheat at sports is just ludicrous and I can't find the words that can express my, I guess, disgust, is one of them. Aside from the basic dehumanization of [my granddaughter] by such measures, it's hurtful. They're hurting people. And they're hurting my children and they're hurting my grandchildren. And I will not stand for that. The ones that are really troubling are the ones that take the position that these children are perpetuating a concerted fraud to present themselves as transgender just to cheat at sports … No one is coming after your granddaughter's track medal.”

This is what common sense and tolerance and understanding that people are different sounds like.

Of course, he’s a Democrat and doesn’t legislate in fear.

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Bobservations

Carlos is still under the weather—we have been on the lookout for Oregano oil as suggested by Treader—but the other day he whipped out the humidifier and some essential oils to clear out his throat. I walked into the guest bathroom and he was hunched over the thing and I asked if he wanted a towel to put over his head and he said No thanks.

I then asked if he wanted a chair from the kitchen table so he wouldn't have to stoop over and he asked why I was being so nice; I replied:

“I’m always nice, motherfucker.”

I think humor is the best medicine.

This Tuxedo Memory is from October 2011 when I was trying to monetize the cats to help with their expenses …

"Caturday: Head Shots

I'm thinking of pitching a new idea to Bravo, The Real HouseCats Of Camden, so I have been taking headshots of the players for my proposal.

Here they are: 

Tuxedo would be that cat. The one everybody loves and wonders why he is on such a trashy show.

Consuelo Roca Jones would be the cat that flips the table.

Tallulah Belle is the crazy one, with the wonky eyes, that you never know when she'll attack.

MaxGoldberg will be the one who cries. On cue.

And for a little diversity, we'll toss Ozzo in the mix. He'll be the outsider who's always crashing the HouseCat parties and eating their food."

It breaks my heart realizing that with the exception of Consuelo all these lovelies are gone now.

News from Blue Tuesday … 

In Pennsylvania, Moms for Liberty [MfL], the right-wing “parental rights” hate group advocating an anti-woke agenda in America’s schools, had a rough night in the elections where all five of the Republican candidates in Central Bucks were included in the MfL guide and yet all five seats were won by Democrats. And then in Pennridge, another school district in Bucks County, all five of those school board’s open seats went to Democrats. And lastly, Pennsylvania Democrats expanded their majority on the state Supreme Court, a potential sign of strength heading into the 2024 election and another win for a campaign centered on abortion rights.

In Iowa, the highly contested Linn-Mar school board race had eight candidates vying for four open spots and all candidates supported by MfL failed to get in the top four.

Meanwhile in Virginia, state Delegate, Democrat Danica Roem won her race for the state Senate, while state Senator, Democrat Adam Ebbin defeated his GOP opponent while state Delegate, Democrat Mark Sickles won re-election in House District 17. Roem is transgender; Ebbin and Sickles are both gay. Even better, Virginia Democrats maintained control of the state Senate and flipped the state House, providing Democrats with a stronger hand pushing against the policy priorities of Republican Governor Glenn Youngkin.

In Ohio, most men and women voted yes on Issue 1, establishing a right to abortion in the state’s constitution.

It was a gloriously blue day in much of the country.

Kayleigh McEnany, AKA Bullshit Barbie, is pissed off by the Thing 45 fraud trial but not for the reasons you might think. Nope, this dope took issue with an unflattering courtroom sketch of Inmate # P01135809 shortly after he finished testifying and offered this piece of advice:

“I would advise them to ask for a better sketch artist because that does not look like my former boss there. This is a travesty of justice. And that sketch is a travesty too. It looks nothing like Trump.”

Seriously, he’s facing the possibility of losing tons of coins, and most of his business dealings in New York but Little Kayleigh is mad because the sketch of him looks bad.

The Ron DeSantis presidential campaign … hold for laughter … formally rolled out a new endorsement from Iowa’s Governor, QAnon Goose-stepper, or whatever her name is.

See, for just $25, or more, small dollar donors will be able to watch Governor Kim Reynolds formally confer her nod of approval on Governor High Heels.

Seriously, Ronnie? This is  a money-making thing for your campaign?

PS Kimmie’s endorsing DeFascist because he probably promised her the VP slot.

This past weekend, Carlos was feeling a little better so we went off to do our CostCo pilgrimage. We were also looking for some things we’ll need for Thanksgiving dinner as we’re having friends in and are doing the cooking ourselves.

I was looking for a turkey, but I found none, and thought maybe they won’t come in this far off from the Big Day but as we strolled the aisles I saw a CostCo employee and stopped to ask:

“Do you know if they have any turkeys yet?”

“Oh, I don’t know, I just work in clothes and socks … “

“Well, are there any turkeys wearing clothes and socks?”

She looked at me as if I were nuts. She wasn’t far off.

Sebastiano Pigazzi is an Italian actor and model whose most famous TV role was his crotch in And Just Like That, the Sex and The City reboot  thirst grab. But this isn’t all about that … Would You hit It?