… that people don’t realize that a fuck must be earned; I
cannot go down the street with a bucket of fucks handing them out willy nilly.
If I feel you’ve earned a fuck, I’ll give a fuck.
… that I hate it when I say that I hate people and someone
says, “But not me, right? LOL.” No bitch, it’s especially you.
… that I can look directly at a person, nod when they’re
talking and throw in a “Yeah,” or an “I know,” and yet not hear a word they’re
saying
… that I feel the need to tell people that I am not toxic; I
am classier than that … I am toxique….
… that I often feel the need to tell people who are speaking
to me that I Googled “Who gives a shit?” and my name wasn’t in the search
results
… that I know five people
that are clinically insane and two of them are me.
… that I feel like life is a helicopter and I don’t know how
to fly a helicopter.
… that my signature move is
to bottle up my feelings over time and then combust over some small issue and
get accused of being a psycho.
… that I hate it when people to tell me to open up. I mean, I
just met you like eight years ago, give me some time.
… that right after I say some
things I remind myself that some things aren't better left unsaid. |
Toxique! Hahahahahaha!
ReplyDeleteIt sounds classier, eh?
DeleteGreat stuff! An online primer for the professional grouch.
ReplyDeleteIf only being a grouch actually paid anything!
Deletethe dog's mother
ReplyDeletexoxo :-)
πππ
DeletePenultimate on your list - It irks me so when others tell me how to live MY life or to change my behaviour, as though their own life ought to be the 'model'! Cheeses Cripes!!!
ReplyDeleteRight?!?!?
DeleteIf you're anything like me I'm surprised you have any fucks left to give. Seems I've been going through a lot at a alarming rate.
ReplyDeleteMe, too, but I always have a separate storage locker filled with fucks to give.
DeleteNodding to self as I read "that I can look directly at a person..." It occasionally gets me into trouble with my daughter, but I consider it a self-preservation technique.
ReplyDeleteI can maintain eye contact and not hear a word!!!
DeleteYou should really compile these into a book!
ReplyDeleteJust remember, helicopters do not fly - they are merely rejected by the earth.
ReplyDeleteWill Jay