It's Snarkurday!

Sixty-one year old Mel Gibson, devout Catholic that he is, has become a father for the ninth time when his twenty-six year old girlfriend, Rosalind Ross, gave birth to their son, Lars Gerard Gibson.

Devout Catholic. Alcoholic. Anti-Semite. Ninth child by three different women, two of whom he never married.

That’s all.

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So, Charlie Sheen’s ex, and serial rehabber—she’s gone to rehab fourteen times now—Brooke Mueller is once again out of treatment and ready to take on the world.

After getting trashed in a bar with her children by her side—to be fair, a nanny was there , too, though was the nanny for Brooke or for the boys—Mueller was seen wandering barefoot around Salt Lake City and, according to one witness, beating her sons at a car wash.

Brooke had just completed a rehab stay in Utah and decided to live there with her and Sheen’s twin sons when she went off the rails again. Bob and Max, her two sons, were placed with Brooke’s family, who just confirmed that she’s out of rehab. Brooke’s mother, Moira, Fiore says:

“I’m really proud of how well Brooke is doing after her treatment plan and being a full-time mom again. She’s very committed to being the best mom and staying healthy.”

Again. This was at least her fourteenth stay in rehab after getting drunk in a bar where she’d gone with her children and then, ALLEGEDLY, assaulting them.

How is that she gets custody ... ?

Oh, yeah, Charlie Sheen.

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Ewan McGregor has a new movie, T2: Trainspotting, coming out soon, and so he’s been making the rounds of British chat-shows to promote it.

He was set to appear on Good Morning Britain, but decided that he didn’t want to do the show after learning that one of the hosts is gasbag Piers Morgan. Ewan took to Twitter—as celebs do—to break the news:

“Was going on Good Morning Britain, didn't realise @piersmorgan was host. Won't go on with him after his comments about #WomensMarch”

The comments Ewan are referring to come from a piece Piers wrote for The Daily Mail about the Women’s March, saying it was dumb because, well, Madonna was there. And so, of course, Piers Morgan who makes his reputation being a dick and arguing with anybody and everybody because how else would we even know his name, also took to The Twitter:

“Sorry to hear that @mcgregor_ewan - you should be big enough to allow people different political opinions. You're just an actor after all.”

Followed by:

“A real man would have come on and debated it with me, not run away like a coward.”

Ewan hasn’t responded, probably because he’s thinking, “Gosh, debating Piers Morgan would be like shooting dumbass fish in a barrel.”

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So, Drake and JLo have been teasing the media about how hot and heavy they are but then, wait, what, is that Drake having dinner in Amsterdam with porn star Rosee Divine.

Yup. JLo sure can pick ‘em, but maybe this is her type .... younger guys who take her out and pose pretty with her but then hook up with porn stars—a la Drake—or transexuals—a la Casper Smart—or just leave her for any number of other women—a la Marc Anthony and Ben Affleck.

JLo should seriously stop dating until her shrink can help her through this.

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Speaking of rocky couples ... Flip or Flop exes Christina and Tarek El Moussa.

On camera the recently separated "Flip or Flop" stars seem to be getting along, but off-screen it’s fugly with the two working on camera together but not even speaking once filming stops.

According to sources—and it might be Christina looking for coins—says Tarek purposefully does things, like "bragging loudly about sleeping with girls", to upset Christina and so she—who’s hooked up with a family friend, Gary Anderson—thinks he’s a “pig.”

Um, you picked him, married him, created a fake show with him, and then dumped him while still pretending to be a happily married couple so yeah, I don’t care.

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So, Charlie Sheen who used drugs and booze and porn stars and insanity to lose his lucrative gig on Two-and-a-Half Men recently apologized for the nasty things he said about Ashton Kutcher, after Kutcher was hired to replace him on the show. But he also did a radio interview where he continued to bash, and bad-mouth, others from the show, notably creator and producer, Chuck Lorre and the studio Warner Brothers:

“I made four billion for that studio, and I got fired.”

Again, fired for crazy drunken porn star drug wars. And then Sheen, who really doesn’t have much going on except alimony and child support, honed in on Lorre:

“The most ridiculous impostor, Chuck Lorre, I hope you’re listening. Hey Chuck: Suck my f–king butt.”

Then he let loose a slew of F-bombs because, well, when idiots speak it boils down to F-bombs.

Sheen also told the story of how, before his “Two-and-A-Half-Men” contract was terminated, the studio offered him use of a company jet to fly to rehab:

“I said, ‘The f–k you are. You’re not flying anyone anywhere.’ I said, ‘I have other plans. See that blonde behind the door? Yeah’.”

Yeah, and it’s everyone else’s fault he’s where he is and who he is.

Siddown Charlie, you’re over.

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