It's Snarkurday!

I sometimes like Andy Cohen and I sometimes cringe at the thought, sight, or sound of Andy Cohen. I mean, c’mon, he’s the Real Housewives guys—and, yeah, I do like me some Real Housewives­—and he hosts a talk show, so he’s either a dishy queen and or an interviewer. 

I’ve decided that what I like about him is, go figure, the dishy queen part.

Cohen has a new book out—Superficial: More Adventures from the Andy Cohen Diaries—and he has some good stories, like ... the time he went to the Met Ball and had a run-in with Taylor Swift. It seems that Swifty was looking for the perfect spot to watch Lady Gaga perform and Cohen saw a space next to Swifty’s frenemy, Kay Perry:

“Why I felt I needed to get involved I will never know but I innocently said exactly the wrong thing to her, which was, ‘Your friend Katy is sitting in the corner and there’s plenty of room around her.’”

And Swifty replied, “Katy who?”

And so Cohen, still not getting it, replied, “Perry,” and that’s when he says Swifty made it very clear that Perry was “the exact opposite of her friend.”

He then tried to make a funny out it all until Swifty instructed him not to mention this on his show. But she never said don’t write about it in a book, so, yeah ....

Katy who? Swifty is funny, trying to be all Mimi On JLo.

Speaking of Mimi ... last week, right after her breakup with billionaire James Packer, she was in Mexico City on her Sweet Sweet Fantasy Tour and seemed keen on dishing the dirt about Packer, saying he knew she was a crazy bedazzled diva from the jump and so his latest assertions that Mariah is nuts were not really news.

Still ... he insists she’s nuts and says he had no desire to be on her sure-to-be-craptastic reality show and was sick of her out-of-control spending of his money. And apparently the news that she wants more of his coins—some $50 million to be exact—following the breakup, seems to prove that James was right in saying she’s gone off the rails.

A source close to Mariah—perhaps one of the men who carries her because she doesn’t like to walk—says, “She’s gone full diva.” And her former stylist Phillip Bloch is also spilling the tea, saying she’s “a lot to han­dle. She’s delusional ... she’s like a ride at the amusement park — there’s a lot of turbulence going on there.”

This isn’t the first time Mimi’s lost it; she famously went berserk in 2001 when she was hospitalized for two weeks and received psychiatric care following an emotional breakdown.

Adds the insider: “Now that James is out of her life, she’s acting loopier than ever. One minute she’s saying she wants to go to dinner to be seen by her fans, and the next minute she’s complaining that they won’t leave her alone when she goes out.”

What do you think? Is she nuts? Did Packer know she was nuts? I mean, all he’d have to do is watch her for a second, or even stop by this little old blog to know what he was getting into ...

Just sayin’.

Tony Bennett is ninety and is married to Susan who is some forty years younger. That’s okay, love is love but ... this marriage, his third, seems to have an interesting hitch.

Tony first met Susan when she was in utero, because Susan’s mom went backstage to meet Tony at a concert in 1966.

Yup, in his new book, Just Getting Started, Bennett writes that his first encounter with Susan occurred when he met her mother when she pregnant with her ... and he was forty.

Have that baby already, I see a new wife in my future?

Look, it’s okay, but what kinda bugs me are the people who comment on how sweet this is, but when Cher dates a decade’s younger man she’s a cradle robber.

I mean, Tony is a womb robber, no?

LeAnn Rimes, singer-adulterer-Twitterholic, has a new album out and is desperate to be seen as less adulterer and less Donald _____ Tweeter so she is out pushing the new music like mad.

She’s been spending a lot of time in England doing just that—though why she isn’t in America selling her songs I wonder—and across the pond a lot of folks are like, “LeAnn, who?”

And this is all true, because a few weeks ago LeAnn hosted a meet-and-greet with fans and got a chillier reception that a meeting between Swifty and Katy.

The event had been set to last four hours but there were so few people coming to meet and/or great Rimes that it ended at the thirty minute mark. One visitor says it was like this:

“It was terrible. LeAnn took forever to sign each copy and was so desperate to keep people from leaving, she resorted to asking fans about their lives!”

The visitor also says LeAnn kept snapping at her people to do something like, I dunno, dragging people in off the streets ... “People just didn’t know who she was. Nobody was approaching her. Her security guard basically had nothing to do by stand there and whistle.”

Hopefully he was whistling a tune off her new album so people get to hear it before it gets dumped in the Bargain Bin?

How sad it must be to be the children of Charlie Sheen, drug addict, sex addict, nutjob. But then what if Charlie’s your dad and Brooke Mueller, one of Charlie’s exes who has been to rehab nearly a dozen times, is your mother?

It seems that Brooke recently left her Baker’s Dozen attempt at rehab in Utah and stayed in-state with her children, Bob and Max, so she could continue outpatient treatment.  But that doesn’t seem to be working, because just this past weekend a barefoot Brooke went to a bar in Salt Lake City with her kids and their nanny looking, as patrons said, “disheveled” as she tried to bum cigarettes from everyone.

Now, going to bar, even post-post-post-post-rehab isn’t illegal, but bringing her underage boys into a bar did lead to someone calling the police, especially after Brooke started a fight with her nanny ... who was probably asking why the kids were in a bar.

But she got word about the police, and so Brooke and the boys and the nanny hightailed it out of there before the cops arrived and then disappeared ... until a motorist on the highway drove past a car wash and saw Brooke ALLEGEDLY swinging at her kids. The motorist stopped and says he recognized Brooke and that she seemed “high as a kite.” Her sons were in pajamas with no shoes and begged, “Don’t call the cops, they are going to take my mommy away!”

The witness says Brooke and her boys then went inside a motel and stayed for a few minutes before coming out with the nanny and getting into their car and driving off.

The sick thing, among all these sick things, is that Utah police aren’t going to arrest Brooke because according to them, she didn’t commit a crime.

Child endangerment? Driving under the influence? Fighting in a bar? If these aren’t crimes no wonder Brooke wants to stay there.

UPDATE: once the story broke it seems that Utah police did get into action. State troopers caught up with Brooke and decided that she needed to go to the hospital for a psychiatric evaluation.

The boys were handed over to a family member. Hopefully not Charlie.