These Make Me Giggle Like A Schoolgirl

Originally, I was going to post these as part of tomorrow's edition of 'I Didn't Say It' but I just cannot wait. These are comedy gold, from two of our most wingnutty, asshatted, fucktardy GOP goosesteppers.

First up, the Mama Grizzly Bore.

She was said to be upset that Kathy Griffin was set to play a "Sarah Palin" type on an upcoming episode of Glee--probably because she was pissed the Glee folks didn't think she was a Sarah Palin-type and the show is on FOX, after all. So, The Bore went after Kathy:

"You know, Kathy Griffin can do anything to me or say anything about me, because you know, she's kind of this - she's a 50-year-old adult bully is really what she is...She's kind of a has-been comedian and she can do those things to me. I would just ask for respect of my children. As she had stated on CNN that her New Year's resolution was to destroy my 16-year-old daughter, that takes it a little too far."

So, let's see, Kathy Griffin, Emmy nominated, Grammy nominated, working comedian is a has-been? Well, then, what do we call someone elected to public office who quits halfway through because it was getting too hard?

As Griffin herself said, Palin "has been" a governor.

And, seriously, Bore, enough with the bully chatter. Kathy Griffin is a comedian, and there's a difference between making a joke about you and your ridiculous band of hillbillies and, oh, I dunno, calling someone on Facebook a "fag" like your daughter does.

And, now, the other half of our comedy duo, Newt "I Fuck Around" Gingrich:

On CBN--the Christian Broadcasting Network--Newt Gingrich finally opened up about being married three times and cheating on Wife One with Soon-To-Be Wife Two and Wife Two with Soon-To-Be Wife Three:

“There’s no question at times of my life, partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country, that I worked far too hard and things happened in my life that were not appropriate. And what I can tell you is that when I did things that were wrong, I wasn’t trapped in situation ethics, I was doing things that were wrong, and yet, I was doing them. I found that I felt compelled to seek God’s forgiveness. Not God’s understanding, but God’s forgiveness. I do believe in a forgiving God. And I think most people, deep down in their hearts hope there’s a forgiving God. Somebody once said that when we’re young, we seek justice, but as we get older, we seek mercy. There’s something to that, I think.”

See what he doe there?

He says he fucked his mistress while married to his first wife, and then schtupped another mistress while married to his second wife because he works too hard and passionately for this country.

See, it's America's fault that Newt Gingrich can't keep his Mini Me in his pants. He cares so much about the country that he has to get his frustration out by boffing anything that comes along--but then he does the right thing and marries her, so......

And, maybe God will forgive him for being a liar and an adulterer, while his wives fight cancer, and maybe some Americans--who cheat and lie, too--will forgive him, but most Americans won't forget that he's a liar and a cheater and a serial adulterer.

He's probably schtupping Wife Number Four right now.