Shake The Etch-a-Sketch: Our Ten-and-Twenty-Four Anniversary

Here we are, ten years legally married and twenty-four years together; my how the time flies … so sit back, and let me tell the tale …

We all do it to an extent; follow a line or path that we set up for ourselves. We plod a course, the straight and narrow some might say, and then walk that line toward a particular destination we've imagined we want. And every so often we twist the knobs on the Etch-a-Sketch of our lives  and a new course is charted, moving in a direction we hadn't thought of before. But it’s a slow curve most of the time, not dangerous and you can still see where you're going and can always go back if we don’t like the destination.

But what about shaking the Etch-a-Sketch? What about saying, screw that line, damn that curve. Let me hold on tight, both hands, and shake things up. See, I was an Etch-a-Sketch person, following the easy line, the one I thought I was meant to follow. I didn't stray too far off the path; who am I kidding, I never strayed off the path. But then it hit me, following the path, that straight line or that gentle curve, and where are you going? Toward another straight line, one more gentle curve? What was that all about?

My first shake was telling my parents I was gay. That was a big shake at the time, although now it seems more of a 'so what.' But I thought it was a big deal because I didn't have a real-life reference point on what it meant to be gay. What were the rules? Was there a uniform? Did I have to pay dues? What was it? See, in my family there were no 'funny uncles' or 'aunts in plaid' that I could see; that I could say, "Hey, I'm like that, so it must be okay." The only gay men I knew were the limp-wristed types on TV shows and in the movies. They wore ascots and paisley jackets, were sarcastic and alone. Terry-Thomas? No, not me. Uncle Arthur, I was not....at least I didn't think so.

So I shook the Etch-a-Sketch and came out and no one died and no one fainted and my family didn't disown me; my parents’ response was, “We love you.” Now, I lost a few friends, but maybe they weren't really friends to begin with if "I'm gay" causes them to disappear. I'm gay … Poof … you’re gone. It's like a homo David Copperfield.

I was out, and yet the Etch-a-Sketch was still giving me straight lines—I’ll save you the horror of joking about me following a 'straight' line because it’s already been done—and gentle curves. But then in 1999—so last century—I decided to give Etch-a-Sketch another nudge and I got a computer. Yes, I was late to the game, again, but I began looking around the Internet and found AOL and the series of chat rooms they had. I found one called Gay Lifestyles, and it was a fun chatty room where you could be gay, where you could step off the line a bit because no one really knew you.

I met Carlos in that chat room. The Etch-a-Sketch bumped a little and we started to online chat; another turn of the knobs and we took to the phones, and the mail. He was in Miami, I was in California, but then I took a leap and told him I wanted to meet him . He was thrilled and plans were made for me to fly to Miami in July.

JULY? IN MIAMI? Oy! What was I thinking?

I bought plane tickets and readied myself to take a sharp turn. I realize now that my life had been split into Old Bob and New Bob. See, Old Bob would have bought the tickets to Miami, told everyone he was going, and gotten on the plane, but when it made a stop in Houston, Old Bob would get off the plane, find a Motel 6, and spend the week there. Then he'd return home and tell everyone that Carlos was 'okay' and the trip was 'fine.' I'd ignore Carlos' phone calls … I almost invented ghosting y’all … and stay off the computer. I'd go back to following that line.

New Bob didn't do that. New Bob flew to Miami and met Carlos and spent a wonderful week in Florida. New Bob fell in love with Carlos and cried at the airport when he had to go home. New Bob's Etch-a-Sketch was shaking. And it was okay; twists and jogs in the path weren't anything to fear.

A month after I came home, Carlos came to California and met my family. I was so happy to have him there; so happy that my family liked him; my friends, too. But then he was gone, back to his home again and I wondered what would happen next.

It wasn't but a few weeks before I hurled the Etch-a-Sketch across the room and chose to follow the path I chose, not one that was arbitrarily set out for me. Carlos and I made plans for me to move to Miami. I sold a car, some furniture, some knickknacks; I got rid of my apartment and quit my job.

Every once in a while, you gotta Shake the Etch-a-Sketch … or toss it out altogether.

So, where does this all lead? It leads to today, twenty-four years after I stepped off another plane in Florida, though this time I was staying for good. We started our life together, all the good times and the bumpy times, and are still here.

We moved, to South Carolina of all places, but made a wonderful family out of our circle of friends who celebrated with us when we chose to get married in October of 2014. Marriage equality was happening, even in South Carolina of all places, and since we had longed talked about being married, and having our friends and family, coworkers, strangers, the check-out girl at the Food Lion, the waiter who brought me another cocktail, and the world, or at least our corner of the world, to know that we weren’t just a couple, we weren’t close friends, we weren’t partners—though those are all good things—we wanted to be Mister and Mister.

On October 17, 2014—fourteen years to the day that I moved to Miami—we were back across the country in Bellingham, Washington, to be married with my father as a witness.

And pause … y’all know that this year I lost my Dad and so this will be our first anniversary without a Dad card and phone wishing us more love and happiness. That was a Shake the Etch-a-Sketch moment I hadn’t thought about.

So, we’re back …  I seriously never thought I would see the day that I would ... that I could ... marry Carlos,  but we did just that. I remember as a kid—a not-yet-out-but-knowing-I-was-different kid—telling my mother that I would never get married, but I would have a maid to take care of my kids. I remember that story and realize now that might have been my first shot at coming out—as a six-year-old, I think—because, even then, I never thought I could get married, never thought I’d be allowed to get married and create my own version of family and home.

And so we did it, and while it has been lovely, raucous, and fun, and there have been down times and sad times and bad times, but, as Elaine Stritch would say—and god am I gay … Elaine Stritch!—we’re still here.

And looking forward, always forward, and while I didn’t say this myself—Charlotte said it in one of those Sex and the City movies … again, god I’m gay—I like to say that I am happy every single day with Carlos. Not all day, every day, because that’s life, but every single day for the last twenty-four years, for some small or large part of the day, I have realized how happy I am and how happy he makes me, and that I am still crazy in love with him.

And that’s something to celebrate!

Happy Anniversary, baby. I love you, always, ever.

Architecture Wednesday: 1930s Bauhaus-Inspired Home

This stunning home built in 1933 was designed for the family of well-known composer and pianist Henry Cowell by the architectural firm Morrow & Morrow a few years after Irving Morrow designed the architectural components of the Golden Gate Bridge; the architecturally significant home has been designated Landmark No. 270 by the SF Planning Commission.

While keeping its architectural integrity intact, the redwood plank-clad home has been thoughtfully updated throughout and boasts an impressive floor plan with large floor-to-ceiling windows that flood the interior with natural light and provide breathtaking views of mature trees, hills, and the ocean.

The home spans four levels and 3,570 square feet with five bedrooms and four bathrooms. The main level showcases a gourmet kitchen, large living/dining area with custom cabinetry and original tiled fireplace, plus a study and remodeled bathroom. It also features beautiful mahogany floors, built-in cabinets and bookcases, 2-car parking, a large rear yard, and an exceptional roof deck with expansive, spectacular views.

For a ninety-year-old house, she looks pretty stunning.

Dwell

Meme Dump

GOP Dumpster Fire: Racists, Liars, Grifters and Some Good News

There’s an old saying about when someone shows you who they are, believe them; and when someone says something, openly and publicly, believe that, too, and not the spin machine that envelopes the liar afterwards.

Here are a few examples of liars, and morons, and weirdos showing us who they are …

 

The far-right website The Gateway Pundit acknowledged for the first time this week that there was not any fraud during ballot counting in Atlanta in 2020 when The Felon lost the presidency.

The statement came days after the site settled a defamation lawsuit with two local election workers who the site falsely accused of wrongdoing. The terms of the settlement were not disclosed publicly, but the site appears to have removed all mention of the two women.

So, they lied, and now they admit they lied, and are liars who lie because that’s what they do: lie.

Hurricane Milton’s rampage is not swaying House GOP leaders who oppose returning to Washington to approve billions of dollars for disaster assistance because they do not care about the American people.

Athina Lawson, a spokesperson for Christian Nationalist House Speaker Mike Johnson, said:

“To be clear: Congress will act again upon its return in November to address funding needs and ensure those impacted receive the necessary resources.”

Weeks after the hurricane Congress will talk about what to do; weeks after.

The Kremlin confirmed that The Felon, while in office, sent Russian President Vladimir Putin Covid-19 testing devices during the height of the pandemic.

Americans were sick and dying and he gave our tests to the Russians?

If you’re still voting for this asshole, I hope you get everything you deserve.

Former Georgia gubernatorial candidate and now county official Kandiss “Jesus, Guns, Babies” Taylor talking about “weather manipulation”:

“Like the whole thing with North Carolina, I know though it’s a grab for the land—land grab and they want the lithium. But I also believe they don’t want the voters turning out that are all around Asheville. Those Republican, red voters. They are trying their best to keep Mark Robinson from that governorship because he understands—oh, I feel the Holy Spirit—he understands the Constitution.”

Hey Crazy, can I call you Crazy, cuz y’are crazy … the only person hurting Robinson’s campaign is the Black Nazi himself.

The Felon claimed he’s “basically a truthful person” during a podcast interview and that caused the host, Andrew Schulz to burst out laughing.

The Felon claimed Kamala Harris is running ads they’re full of falsehoods about him and says there should be a law against telling lies in campaign ads before adding he doesn’t lob similar attacks at his opponent cause he’s “basically a truthful person.”

Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene has doubled down on her allegation that an unspecified “they” can control the weather:

“Yes they can control the weather. Anyone who says they don’t, or makes fun of this, is lying to you. By the way, the people know it and hate all of you who try to cover it up.”

Hey, Large Marge AKA Russian Asset or just Russian Ass, careful what you say because they just might send a tornado through your living room.

After The Felon was asked about the future prospects of Gaza, he said:

“You know, I’ve been there, and it’s rough.”

Funny, though, that there is no evidence of his going to Gaza; he never went as president, and CNN, The New York Times and The Washington Post have all found no proof he made a prior visit. Still, his campaign, working overtime to redefine the lies, says that he meant what he said and insisted the claim is true though they refused to say when this happened:

“[The Felon] has been to Gaza previously and has always worked to ensure peace in the Middle East.”

Perhaps Demented DonOLD was confused because his campaign once claimed that Gaza is “in Israel”—it’s not—so he can say that he visited Gaza. And now even that stupid lie isn’t enough.

GOP VP nominee JD Vance AKA Sofa Loren campaigned in Detroit, where he described $500 million that the federal government is providing to convert a General Motors plant in Michigan for electric vehicles as “table scraps” compared with larger job losses he contends could be on the horizon.

Several hundred people attended the event, including more than a dozen who were wearing “auto workers for [The Felon]” shirts but six of the people in the shirts say they were not actually auto workers.

Huh. Lies. Who knew.

Thousands of copies of [The Felon]’s “God Bless the USA” Bible were printed in China, a country he has repeatedly accused of stealing American jobs and engaging in unfair trade practices.

Global trade records show a printing company in China’s eastern city of Hangzhou shipped close to 120,000 of the Bibles to the United States between early February and late March. The estimated value of the three separate shipments was $342,000, or less than $3 per Bible. The Felon is selling those $3 “Bibles” for $59.99.

Grifters gonna grift.

FOX “News” Channel’s Harris Faulkner will present a town hall with The Felon focusing on issues impacting women ahead of the election. The event, which will be held with an audience entirely composed of women, will pre-tape on October 15th and, after heavy editing and reworking of his lies, will air on October 16^th.

One of the issues facing women is that sexual predators, like The Felon, are not being held accountable for their actions, and that their rights to healthcare have been stripped away from them by a man who bragged about doing so.

Back to How Stupid Are They news, The Felon’s campaign is rushing to relabel some of its new “Latter-day Saints for [The Felon]” merchandise—coffee cups and koozies—after it was criticized for not understanding some of the key tenets of the religion.

Most devout LDS Church followers do not consume alcohol, which most koozies are used for, nor drink caffeine.

Seriously.

Four cities and a county have confirmed that they’re still waiting for The Felon’s campaign to pay bills often associated with reimbursements for the costs of local law enforcement and other first responder personnel. The final price tag is more than $750,000 for those five jurisdictions, with some bills dating back eight years.

A Felon campaign official said in a text message that “questions related to local law enforcement and first responder costs should be directed to secret service.”

No, they are the bills to be paid for by a con artist who never pays his bills.

JD Vance AKA Sofa Loren really did not want to answer a New York Times reporter’s question about The Felon losing the 2020 election, refusing to answer it a total of five times. Vance also said that if he’s been Veep in 2020 he would not have certified the election.

This traitorous fascist does not belong anywhere near the Oval Office.

Again with the lies … this time it’s the Scranton Fire Department firefighters’ union who say they had nothing to do with several signs stating “Scranton Firefighters for [The Felon]” held up and displayed by members of the public at a campaign event last week.

Neither the International Association of Fire Fighters union nor its local chapter in Scranton, Local 60, have made an endorsement in the presidential race of either candidate  but that doesn’t stop a Felon and his Lap Dog from pushing the lies forward.

After mocking Vice President Kamala Harris over her teleprompter use, The Felon’s rally in Reno, Nevada, ground to a halt as he was forced to fix his teleprompter on-stage after a campaign sign fell on it.

God heard you DonOLD and She sent that sign crashing down to show the world what a lying POS you are.

Remember when The Felon accused Biden and Harris of withholding hurricane relief from North Carolina?

Well, now he’s threatening to withhold funds from any future California wildfires because he doesn’t like Gavin Newsom or his policies.

Again, and pay attention: EVERY GOP ACCUSATION IS AN ADMISSION.

Vice President Harris released her medical history this week, which said she is in “excellent health” and has the physical and mental resiliency required to be president, if elected in November.

The Felon refuses to release his medical records because he’s a bloated gelatinous mass in diapers.

President Joe Biden said he believes his administration is “breaking through with the truth” when it comes to misinformation lies surrounding the federal response to Hurricane Helene and Hurricane Milton. Now, while Biden continued to criticize The Felon, he did say The Felon was “not singularly to blame” but that he did have the “biggest mouth.”

Democrat Representative Ruben Gallego now has a ten-point lead over Republican Kari Lake in the Arizona Senate race. Ninety-five percent of Democrats are in favor of Gallego while 81 percent of GOP members favor Lake. Both candidates received an almost equal share of support from the state’s male voters.

Vote Ruben!

GOP Representative French Hill shut down Fox “News” host Maria Bartiromo’s on-air lie that the Federal Emergency Management Agency [FEMA] is “out of money” to handle the aftermath of Hurricanes Helene and Milton, telling her:

“FEMA is not out of money. Congress is ready to replenish the funding as soon as we get back to Washington. They have the money to take care of Florida, take care of North Carolina, and take care of Georgia.”

Trouble is, Speaker Johnson will not ask Congress to return to work to allocate those funds, so, yes again, it’s the GOP at the root of the problem.

Still, nice of a Republican to stand up to the GOP lies,

And then Florida GOP Representative Carlos Gimenez said that GOP QAnon Loon Marjorie Taylor Greene and others who think like her that humans can control the weather need “to have their head examined.”

Large Marge’s examination would show her head to be completely empty.

Representative Chuck Edwards of North Carolina sent a letter to his constituents debunking the misinformation lies and conspiracy theories that have spread in the aftermath of Hurricane Helene, telling them, “Nobody can control the weather.”

Edwards, who represents western North Carolina, which was devastated by Hurricane Helene, urged his constituents not to believe everything they see on social media and noted there’s been an increase in “untrustworthy sources [The GOP] trying to spark chaos by sharing hoaxes, conspiracy theories, and hearsay about hurricane response efforts across our mountains.”

“Hurricane Helene was NOT geoengineered by the government to seize and access lithium deposits in Chimney Rock.”

Seriously, only MAGAts are this dumb.

CNN anchor Kate Bolduan hammered The Felon’s National Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt over his lies about hurricane response and ended the interview by telling Leavitt she never answered her question after “I offered you three times!”

Bolduan then left Leavitt flatfooted when she pointed out The Felon himself diverted FEMA funds to house migrants and after refusing to respond to that three times, Leavitt simply sputtered about Harris “allowing in 20 million illegals.”

He’s crumbling, y’all.

 

Remember, the GOP is a party that promises but never delivers, a party of demented old men, and mascara-wearing RuPaul wannabes who hate women, the  LGBTQ+ community, immigrants, education and members of our military.

We don't need that so ...