The Funny Papers

Jeff Stahler, Chris Britt, Ann Telnaes, Nick Anderson, Max Espinoza, Trevor Irvin, Dennis Goris, Daniel Boris, Michael de Adder, Lalo Alcaraz, Gary Huck, Pedro X Molina, Clay Bennett, Jesse Duquette, Benjamin Slyngstad

Why Is It ...

… that people don’t notice that I prefer hanging out in groups of three because I can go nonverbal and they can entertain each other while I look at a tree or something

… that people don’t seem to get it that me ignoring you is me being nice to you

… that as a child I wanted to be included in everything but as an adult I want y’all to stop asking me to go out

… that my other spirit animal is a racoon … because we have dark rings around our eyes? Or because we like to eat junk food? Because we’re a bit chubby but somewhat cute and possibly rabid? Or because we will fight you for no apparent reason?

… that people need to stop asking me to meet up; half my neighbors don’t even know I exist

… that people don’t realize that my only social skills are laughing when I shouldn’t, telling a joke in an awkward situation,  and saying “You, too” when the server tells me to enjoy my meal

… that adulting means using the phone flashlight more often than I ever thought possible

… that, while it’s actually more, my three dominant personalities are the one who talks to much, the one who doesn’t talk at all, and the one to talks to myself like I’m a full-on podcast.

… that when my boss comes up with a project and looks for volunteers and I shout “Not it,” he is not amused

… that my new diet is a lot of salads, like last night … mostly tomatoes and croutons; well, one big crouton covered in tomato sauce and cheese. It was a pizza, okay? I had a whole pizza

I Didn't Say It ...

Lawrence O’Donnell, political commentator, on the GOP’s attacks on Fauci:

“All of us owe our gratitude to Anthony Fauci and many of us may owe our lives to Anthony Fauci. Anthony Fauci owes nothing to the Republicans in the US Senate. Sometimes news stories come down to a very simple right and wrong, and this is one of them. Anthony Fauci is right and every one of those Republican Senators is very, very wrong.”

It’s another way for the GOP to suck Cankles’ ass and declare their allegiance lest he come for them. I’ll take on Anthony Fauci over the entire GOP, up and down the ballot, any day of the week.

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Ron Filipkowski, attorney and political commentator, accused spousal abuse Max Miller:

“It was over for Republican Congressman Max Miller politically when he said his wife couldn’t have been abused because she offered to make him dinner 6 days later. He may not have known it when he said it, but that was the end. You have to be a sick bastard to come up with that as your defense.”

Miller, like Cankles and so many in the GOP, are sexual predators and abusers.

Miller’s assertion that his wife wasn’t abused was because she offered to make him a meal. Maybe she was saying what he wanted to hear so she could stay alive.

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Zohran Mamdani, Mayor of New York City, on Dr. Abdul El Sayed’s win in Michigan;

“I’d like to congratulate Dr. Abdul El Sayed on his victory. He ran a campaign best described by his words of ‘Money out of politics, Money in your pocket. Medicare for all.’ Despite him facing more than $60M in outside spending, h e was able to prevail with a focus on a cost of living crisis and the way in which healthcare is exceedingly out of reach for those who have helped make this country what it is.”

More like Mamdani and El Sayed in office; they are making promises to We The People that others in office won’t make, and if El Sayed is anything like Mamdani, this is a great step for Michigan and the rest of the country.

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Leigh McGowan, creator of media brand PoliticsGirl, on America’s priorities:

“You’re saying that 46 Americans died so we should attack this country. Here at home, 68,000 Americans die a year because they don’t have health insurance. So, if we’re going to spend billions of dollars on something, would it not make more sense to save American lives, to spend it here on health care than bombing another country.”

Make it make sense that bombing another country is more important than taking care of your own.

Never mind, you can’t.

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Vivian Jenna Wilson, social media personality and model, and transgender daughter of Elon Musk, ripping off daddy’s mask:

“I understand your new angle is this “western values/Christian family man” thing but it’s such a weird choice. You are not a family man, you are a serial adulterer who won’t stop fucking lying about your own children. You are not a Christian, as far as I’m aware you’ve never stepped foot in a church. You are not some ‘bastion for equality [and] progress.’ You called Arabic the ‘language of the enemy’ when I was 6, have been sued for discrimination multiple times, and are from Apartheid South Africa. You are not ‘saving the planet,’ you do not give a fuck about climate change and you’re lying about multi-planetary civilization as both an excuse, and because you want to seem like the CEO from Ready Player One. I would mention the birth rate stuff, but I am not touching that weird 14-word breeder shit with a ten-foot pole. You single-handedly disillusioned me with how gullible we are as a species because somehow people keep believing you for reasons that continue to evade me.”

In 2020, Wilson came out as a transgender woman, began treatment for gender dysphoria, and became estranged from Elon Musk, changing her legal name two years later, when he disowned her for coming out as trans.

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Neil Stone, infectious diseases doctor, on the insanity and ineptitude of RFK Jr.:

“RFK Jr. shuts down Ebola programs—we get a massive Ebola outbreal. Rfk Jr. closes the CDC Parasitic disease division—we get a huge parasitic diarrhea outbreak. RFK Jr. defunds screwworm research—and screwworm comes back to the US. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the worst Health Secretary in US history.”

There have been more cases of measles in the last few months than in the last 25 years.

‘nuff said.

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Bobservations

Carlos came to me this week and said he needed a picture as part of his work profile for a new translation group he’s joined. I told him to put on a nice shirt and I’d take a picture and help him upload it but he said:

“Don’t you already have pictures of me?”

“Of course I do … let’s look.”

And I opened a file on the computer.

“Here you are in a straw hat slurping a margarita on the beach. That’s a good one. Oh, here’s one of you kissing Ozzo. You wanna post that one? No!!! Wait!!! This is the best one … you on the balcony of a hotel we stayed in during a trip to Key West and you’re buck naked.”

I told him there were no work appropriate photos of him unless he’s working as a drunken, dog loving exotic dancer.

This Tales of Tuxedo is from October 2010 and includes an appearance from the late, great MaxGoldberg, who was Tuxedo’s bestest friend; it’s entitled Just for Giggles:

I saw this:

And then I saw this:

Coinkydink?

I don’t know what on Earth  he is looking at when the rear view, er, real view is coming from inside the house!

I never had to learn this lesson, I just think I always knew it, but the lesson is "Don’t act like an ass around Clint Eastwood."

Clint’s son, Scott, says his dad humbled Kevin Costner’s “big ego” on the set of “A Perfect World” in 1993 and how his dad remained “very calm” without “raising his voice ever.” Scott Eastwood explained that Costner was “sort of going through maybe … a rise to fame” at the time and “maybe [had] a big ego” and said Kevin wouldn’t come out of his trailer for some reason.

And so then Clint dismissed him from set—despite him being in that day’s scene—and instructed the crew to “send [Costner] home.” When Clint was reminded that his co-star was “in the scene,” he repeated his instruction. Scott then said:

“I guess they just went to Kevin and said, ‘Hey, you’re going to go home for the day.’ … He said, ‘What do you mean, I’m in the scene?’ [And they said], ‘Well, I guess you’re not anymore.'”

The next day, Costner was on set as planned.

If you’re more worried about a “socialist” in office than a pedophile or domestic abuser, I have questions. Most of them are variations of “what the fuck is wrong with you,” to be fair.

Just a heads up for those of you on the boycott … not only is Taylor Farms serving you Diarrhea Salads but they are using forced labor to pick the Poop Greens. See, they pay the Arizona Department of Corrections $4.75 an hour for prison labor of which just $1.50 an hour goes to the workers.

Prisons for Profit, Corporate Greed and Explosive Runs.

Yesterday, when Abdul El Sayed won the Democratic primary in Michigan his opponent Haley Stevens called him to concede and congratulate him on his victory and told others to do the same. Governor Gretchen Whitmer and Senator Gary Peters then called El Sayed to congratulate him and throw their support behind him.

In addition the entire team that supported Stevens is now lining up for El Sayed heading into the Midterms. That is the kind of unity we need; no grudges; no sitting out the election;  just the entire party pulling in the same direction.

That’s how you do a Blue Wave.

Vote Blue. Cast a Goddamned Vote! 

Michiel Francis Loonen is both a model and piano composer whose work bridges two worlds of expression. Together, these paths reflect his artistry: a pursuit of beauty, whether in front of the camera or at the keys of a piano so Would You Hit It?

Architecture Wednesday: The Natzler Residence

This home, in Upper Nichols Canyon in the Hollywood Hills, tucked at the end of a long private drive, is on the market for the first time in 80 years. Built in 1937 the home served as both sanctuary and working studio for master ceramic artists Gertrud and Otto Natzler, who purchased the property in 1945 and it remains a testament to their creative lives.

Drawn to the site for its privacy, natural light, and detached guest house—which they envisioned as a studio—the Natzlers transformed the property into a center of artistic and musical life.

In sun-filled rooms overlooking treetops and quiet canyons, Gertrud threw delicate ceramic forms on the wheel while Otto developed groundbreaking glazes; together they hosted intimate chamber-music evenings and gathered a circle of artists, musicians, and thinkers to a serene, natural, space removed from the pace of the city .

The original house remains intimate and unconventional—a sequence of cozy, character-rich rooms including a living room with fireplace, dining room, and a kitchen with ceramic tiles, many glazed by Otto Natzler. The main residence includes two bedrooms and two and one-half baths; the second bedroom later became Otto’s office following completion of a 1988 addition.

Their hillside studio eventually proved challenging for photographing ceramics with the precision their archive demanded so in 1988, Otto commissioned a striking two-story addition inspired by his Austrian roots—a nod to an Alpine chalet. Designed for photographer Gail Reynolds Natzler, Otto’s second wife after Gertrud’s passing in 1971, the addition introduced a dedicated studio and darkroom and above that a large primary suite with laundry, bath, vaulted ceilings, and walls of windows; both levels open to wraparound balconies with sweeping canyon views. The original detached Natzler ceramic studio suite, situated above the two-car garage, is preserved in remarkable condition with its own kitchen, small bedroom, and bath.

The property directly abuts the Briar Summit Open Space Reserve, ensuring lasting privacy and a strong connection to the surrounding landscape and for the first time since 1945 it can be yours for $2.5M and you can test your own creativity.

As always click to emBIGGERate…

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