Thursday, August 09, 2018


Yesterday I woke up and, because it was still dark outside, noticed a flashing light. I looked over and saw Carlos’ alarm clock flashing 12:00 because clearly the power had gone out sometime during the night. I nudged him.
“Charlie [that’s a name his Aunt Gloria calls him, and so do I from time to time] Charlie? The power went out.”
He mutters, Uh oh, and I doze off again. But I hear him get up, and hear the shower running and about a half-hour later, I wake up. I stumbled to the kitchen and he says:
“The power went off last night.”
I say:
“I know, I woke you up and told you.”
“No. Max woke me up by crawling on top of me.”
“Maybe Max began crawling on top of you because I woke you up to tell you the power had gone out and you moved and woke him up.”
“I think you were dreaming.”
Yes, I dreamed the power went out and dreamed that I woke up and told Carlos about it, and then, miraculously, my dream came true.

I’m that good.

I’m hoping that my dream where Carlos listens when I speak will come true, too.

I follow a page on Facebook about ‘What’s Going On …’ in our local area. People post questions about looking for a contractor, or someone to do some work; they advertise yard sales; they recommend businesses; and then there are others.

Some posts, I hate to say, are so illiterate, I literally have to read them out loud in what I call my toothless cousin-f**ker voice just see make sense of it; that gives me a laugh. But this week a woman posted about buying truck parts at an Auto Zone and the nice young black man that helped her carry them to her truck. I didn’t see the point in mentioning he was black as it had nothing to do with the story until she added:
“It was nice, him showing me the respect I deserve.”
Seriously; but then another woman posted:
“I know him, he helped me at the Piggly Wiggly.”
Now, the first women never mentioned the young man by name, which caused me to think that, if you took these people at their word, there is one, just one, nice young black man in Smallville who runs around helping white women—and you know they’re white women because of their FB profile photo—and giving them respect.

Oy. But then …
Lauren Elizabeth Cutshaw, a 32-year-old Bluffton, South Carolina was caught speeding through a stop sign at over 60 miles per hour.

When stopped by police, Cutshaw was slurring her words and a breathalyzer showed her blood-alcohol level at .18 percent –well above the .06 legal limit. But Cutshaw said she shouldn’t be arrested because she is a "very clean, thoroughbred, white girl” and a cheerleader and a sorority girl who graduated from a "high accredited university" and because her partner's "a cop."

When officers asked what being a "white, clean girl" had to do with anything Cushaw replied:
"You're a cop, you should know what that means."
Cutshaw was arrested and jailed on charges including drunken driving, speeding, disregarding a stop sign, possession of drug paraphernalia, and marijuana possession and being a self-entitled white privileged girl.

Sorry, hon, add criminal to your list of accomplishments.
If you need proof that Mike Pence is a lying hypocritical tool, look no further than an article he wrote back in the 90s demanding Clinton resign for having an extramarital affair.

But cut to 2017 and he has no problem licking the boots of a serial adulterer.
Element TV Company, a South Carolina television maker, is laying off 126 of its 134 workers because of _____’s tariffs on imports from China.

That skeleton crew of eight employees will stick around in the hopes that the plant can reopen in three to six months.

_____; making America great again by helping 126 people lose their jobs.
Boy band singer, and openly gay, Lance Bass said he’s “heartbroken” after placing a bid to buy Brady Bunch house, and thinking he’d been the highest bidder, only to find that he wasn’t.
“Super excited to announce they accepted my offer on the #BradyBunch house last night!!! This is going to be a fun project!”
Then came this:
“Marcia Marcia Marcia!  Im feeling heartbroken today. As many of you may have heard, we placed the winning bid on the iconic Brady Bunch house—at least that’s what we were told. The agent representing the estate informed us we made the winning bid (which was WAY over the asking price) after the final deadline for all offers had passed—even writing up the “winning bid” for my team after informing me of the good news. Isn’t a deadline a deadline? This was a dream come true for me and I spent the night celebrating amongst friends, family, and fans alike. The next day, due to “unforeseen circumstances” the same agent informed us that there’s another Corporate Buyer (Hollywood studio) who wants the house at any cost. We were prepared to go even higher but totally discouraged by the sellers agent, they will outperform any bid with unlimited resources. How is this fair or legal?? How can I compete with a billion dollar corporate entity? I truly believe I was used to drive up the price of the home knowing very well that this corporation intended on making their offer and it’s not a good feeling. I feel used but most importantly I’m hurt and saddened by this highly questionable outcome. I just hope it is not demolished. Thanks for all the love and support. #CrushedDream #ShadyAF #DouglasElliman #ShadyBrady”
Lance believes he “was used to drive up the price of the home” as a Corporate buyer did make a bigger bid, and that buyer is HGTV, who it has purchased the home and plans to “return it to its ‘1970s glory’.”

Right. I’m seeing gray everywhere … and shiplap.

Oy! Again!
Todd Kincannon, the former head of South Carolina's Republican Party, was arrested last week after he choked, stabbed, and mutilated his mother's 10-year-old beagle at her Greenville county home. Upon his arrest, Kincannon said he killed the dog because:
"I'm the second coming of Christ and I got a command from God to do it."
Officers who responded to the call say Kincannon came out of his parents' home in his underwear and covered in blood and dog hair and announced that “every 1,000 years there needs to be a sacrifice and blood must be spilt." He held up his arms to show what appeared to be dog bites and said:
"I have a sign. I'm about to get crucified in the media."
Yes, you are. And he will be charged with animal cruelty though there is no report that he will be taken in an evaluated for some sort of mental break.

I mean, this story, and the fact that in 2015, Kincannon was charged with criminal domestic violence after threatening to kill himself, his wife, and her family; in 2015, his law license was suspended following threatening emails he sent to people in connection with that arrest.

A grand jury indicted Kincannon on domestic violence and kidnapping charges last year but those charges are still pending.

Seriously? This man should have been locked a long time ago but, you know, Republican, South Carolina, domestic violence.
Now, for some fa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-bulous news … the fa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-bulous Jessica Lange is coming back American Horror Story: Apocalypse.

Makes perfect sense because this season is said to be a cross-over between Murder House and Coven, both of which starred Lange.

I.Am.Dying. Especially when it’s been confirmed the show had been renewed for two more seasons beyond Apocalypse.
Gosh, I love this … after Donald _____’s star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame was vandalized—with a pick axe no less—the city of West Hollywood issued a resounding “Fuck You, Mr. President” and passed a unanimous resolution to remove the star from the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Sorry, not sorry.
We watched a couple of movies this weekend, the first being Trumbo, about the Hollywood blacklist of suspected Communists in the 40s and 50s. One of the people who helped to end the blacklist was actor Kirk Douglas who hired Dalton Trumbo to write the script for Spartacus and made sure he was given credit on screen.

The actor who played Douglas, Dean O’Gorman, top, just oozed sex appeal onscreen, especially in scenes as Spartacus in his little, er, not so little, leather jock strap.

We, or I, also watched Home Again, a tired Reese Witherspoon rom-com where she plays a forty-something woman who takes in three twenty-something young men and falls for one of them.

Sadly, she fell for the wrong one, because she didn’t fall the quirky, cute and sweet Jon Rudnitsky, bottom, who played George.

As Julie said in Pretty Woman, “Big mistake. Huge.”

Steaming hot or quirky cute ... I don't have a type.


mistress maddie said...

That's the first picture of Pence I was seen, I'm assuming giving Trump a hand job.

The Lange news made me day. The show is good, but not without her.

Now Trump sar looks like him him...a shitty dump hole.

the dogs' mother said...

One man's adulterer is another man's _______.

Deedles said...

I'm siding with you on this one, Bob. Balder Half is so used to ignoring me that I gave in and bought him a s T-shirt that says "My wife says I only have two faults, I don't listen and something else". I make him wear it :)
A friend and I went out to breakfast this week. She complained how her daughter was scammed by the man who sold her a dog. They paid 500 dollars for what they thought was a Maltese. Transaction took place in front of a 7/11. The dog turned out to have parasites that almost killed her. Anyhoo, my friend said the seller was a young black man wearing a nice suit. I was driving at the time, smiled and asked if he was articulate. She said yes. By the time I got her home it had sunk in what she'd said. She apologized and asked if that was a racist remark. I chuckled and said yep, a little bit. I sentenced her to watching Undercover Brother. I also told her that Maltese are always white and that picture of the dog looked like a Chorkie. Half Chiwawa (phonetic spelling) and half Yorkie.

His Royal Orangeness' star was killed and then impeached. HA!

Helen Lashbrook said...

@Deedles - the Royal Orange is the King of the Netherlands, head of the house of Orange. The bloke you were referring to may be a royal pain in the proverbial arse but he is definitely not Dutch.

Mike Pence is the hypocrites' hypocrite

Dave R said...

That Cutshaw comment is rocketing through social media - get ready, at some point she'll blame the alcohol... or the Clintons.

Get ready, Element TV is not the only one who's going to suffer...

Lance wanted the lot, not the house... HGTV will turn it into a set for some of their shows and eventually bulldoze the house for the lot.

I do believe you have a triple play - 3 stories about South Carolina...

Debra She Who Seeks said...

The Tweet of the Week is religiously sound, of course!

Deedles said...

@Helen-thanks, I didn't know that. I just got sick of Cheetos being maligned! I love Cheetos! Well, I suppose Baboon Butt would work.

anne marie in philly said...

miss truckparts bitchcunt needs to be smacked upside the head with a 2x4 repeatedly until she bleeds!

Mitchell is Moving said...

When you get that "listens when i speak" thing figured out, please share the secret.