Stephen King Is Right! Pet Sematary Is Real!

Well over a week ago, Bart the Cat was out walking in his neighborhood as he usually does, when he was hit by a car. A passerby declared Bart dead at the scene, though there is no information regarding the passerby, either name or profession.

Bart was taken home, where Ellis Hutson, the man he owned — because, let’s face it, cats own people — was so upset about Bart’s passing that he could not bring himself to plan a funeral, or perform the actual burial, so he asked a neighbor to dig a grave in his backyard, and then Ellis watched as the man placed Bart into the ground; ashes to ashes.

Five days later … five.days.later. .... Bart rose from the dead and dug himself out of that grave.

Oh, but he did. Ellis’ neighbor found Bart pawing around her yard and meowing for food. Bart was taken to the Tampa Bay Humane Society where vets discovered that he had a broken jaw, a busted head and had lost sight in one eye.

The vets told Ellis that the car accident knocked him out, but did not kill him, and that when Bart came to a few days later, and found himself thankfully not six-feet under, he clawed his way out of the grave and back to, at least, his Second of Nine Lives.

Ellis can’t afford to pay the $2,000 vet bill, but don’t worry; no one is going to try and take Bart down again. The Humane Society will cover the bill for Ellis and says that in six weeks Bart will be as good as new.

In related news, Dusty Albritton, the driver of the car who hit Bart and “killed” him, best be on the lookout for a mangy black-and-white cat because …

… Pet Sematary is real, y’all.

From the 'It's Not The Heat, It's The Stupidity' File: Lindsey Graham and How The GOP Feels About Women

I don’t get Republicans. Oh, not just the party but the people who support them. I mean, how does one explain that some of the poorest counties, and the poorest states, habitually vote for the GOP? How’s that working for you? Ever thought about switching it up and giving the Democrats a try and see if life improves for you?

:::crickets:::

And when the GOP talks about women’s issues, women’s rights, I shudder at the notion that any women would be a Republican much less support a party that claims their anti-abortion measures are about protecting women’s health; that they support a party that does not believe women deserve equal pay in the workplace; a party that voted against the Violence Against Women Act. Of course, I could ask that same question of minorities and The Gays; seriously, what have the Republicans done for you lately?

:::crickets:::

But today we’re talking about the GOP and women, and Lindsey Graham and how, while talking about about a piece of legislation pertaining to the rights women should have over their own bodies Graham basically exposed how little the GOP actually cares about women when he wondered aloud how this bill might turn into an argument over “legitimate rape.”

“I’m going to do more than bring my bill up. I’m going to need your help to find a way out of this definitional problem of rape.” — Lindsey Graham

A “definitional problem” of rape. Rape is rape; a man who forces himself on a woman is raping; a woman says ‘No’ and the man forces himself on her, its rape. Rape is rape, and to think that anyone who claims to want to represent women has a problem with the definition of what constitutes rape is amazing to me.

But then Lindsey Graham is an idiot, so, really, should I be surprised?

Graham is worried about how the GOP would define a “legitimate” sexual assault because, let’s be clear, if a woman wanted an abortion, even in the case of rape, most Republicans don’t believe she should have that right if the rape was, um, "legitimate;" or if the pregnancy resulted from an act of incest ... if the mother’s life was in jeopardy ... much less  because she chooses to have an abortion for her own personal reasons.

In fact, Graham and his anti-women GOP cronies have already pulled a measure in this bill that would have required women who were sexually assaulted to go to the police before having an abortion, and they only did so because some of the more free-thinking female members of the GOP staged a revolt against party leadership.

Let that tidbit sink in: most of the party supported the idea that a woman who was raped must first go to the police before exercising her Constitutional right to an abortion. Why not just chain women to the stove? Problem solved. And to think that it took a small group of female members of the party to raise their voices before the majority of Republicans, male and female, even thought about removing it from the bill.

The GOP doesn’t care about women, they only want to tell women what they can and cannot do, and how much less they deserve to be paid.

And again, it makes me wonder why any woman would support such a party. It makes me wonder why anyone, especially here in South Carolina, would put a check next to Lindsey Graham’s name — or that of any Republican, for that matter — on a ballot.

It must be the stupidity.

via Forward Progressives

Architecture Wednesday: Villa CP

Villa CP is the result of a 2013 restoration of an old Catalan farmhouse in Girona, Spain, whereby a 21st century house has been created inside an old stone structure. The existing stone walls have been largely rebuilt, with enormous openings towards the landscape linking the house to its spectacular surroundings: a National Park of cork oak with distant views towards the Mediterranean.

The firm who oversaw the restoration, Zest Architecture, has an eye toward sustainability, so it is no surprise that this project uses materials and elements such as a natural pool whose water is filtered by plants and gravel, insulation with locally harvested and produced cork, clay and stray panel finishes in the interior and heating/cooling through a geothermal installation.

The old and the new, which will age, strengthen each other through their opposition and juxtaposition; the old has been left visible with all its scars, while new materials such as Corten steel, wood and clay, were chosen for the beauty of their natural imperfections and the way in which the traces left by time make them even more beautiful.

Rain, wind, human touch…. will make sure that this house will be even more beautiful over time.

via HomeDSGN

Joel Grey Comes Out

Joel Grey was the original master of Ceremonies in Cabaret on Broadway and in the film; he directed The Normal Heart on Broadway while also appearing in Anything Goes, and in the 1996 revival of Chicago and Wicked.

Today, at age 82, he announced that he is gay.

"I don't like labels, but if you have to put a label on it, I'm a gay man. All the people close to me have known for years who I am, [yet] it took time to embrace that other part of who I always was." 

And it does take time, and reflection, and introspection and thought, no matter who you are, what you do, where you live ... coming out is hard.

So welcome out, Joel. A lot of us thought maybe, wondered if, and were curious, but that matters not. I think your daughter, Jennifer said it best:

"I feel very happy for my dad that he has come to a point in his life where he feels safe and comfortable enough to declare himself in a public way as a gay man, mostly because the more people are free to own their true nature and can hopefully come closer to love and accept themselves as they really are, no matter what age, no matter how long it takes, to finally be free of the lies or half truths, it is freedom." 

Freedom; and the Obligatory Coming Out Toaster Oven and copy of The Gay Agenda.

And so, to paraphrase a wee bit of Cabaret:

"Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome" out, Joel, welcome out.

The GOP Can't Handle The Truth

After the Mid-term elections, when the GOP was given control of Congress, they spent a good chunk of time talking about how “America has spoken” when anybody with half a brain — which excludes most Republicans — knows that the GOP won, not because people voted, but because people did not vote.

Sidenote: to those of you who didn’t vote, shut up and don’t complain, you’re part of the problem, and, as my Comedy Icon, Joan Rivers, would say, “Pick a finger.”

But anyway, then we had Obama, the Lame Duck President, as it’s called, give his State of the Union speech — and I’m still giggling over “I know, because I won both of them,” comment — and the GOP has come out again, calling him, arrogant and out-of-touch.

And they set about trying to discredit nearly everything Obama said — except for that part where he said he whipped their asses twice — and spent most of their time in the following days investigating whether or not what Obama said during his speech was, in fact, fact; at least according to the good folks at the “Truth-O-Meter” over at Politifact.

As when he said that America is number one in wind power; that was dubbed “Mostly True” with the only caveat being that China technically has the capacity to produce more wind power, but America converts more of it into electricity.

And when Obama said that more jobs had been created during his presidency than at any other time since 1999 — when another Democrat was in office — that was fact-checked and called “100% True.”

When he talked about the unemployment rate now falling below where it was before the financial crisis hit our economy—you know, before ­he took office—that was rated “Mostly True” because Politifact claims they need clarification based upon how many people have simply stopped looking for work—a statistic that’s nearly impossible to measure, but Obama’s statement is still factually accurate based on the same measure we’ve used for decades.

And we all remember the Rightwingnuts rhetoric about Obama making the U.S. more dependent on foreign oil, which would then weaken our national security and possibly threaten to send gas prices over $5 per gallon, right? Well, during his speech Obama claimed that America is the number one producer of oil and gas, and that is “100% True.”

So, not only has Obama pushed the country to convert more wind energy to electricity than any other nation on Earth, but we also produce more oil and gas than anybody else on Earth. George W couldn’t do that in eight years while Obama did it in six.

He also said that the US is the only developed country in the world without a paid maternity leave; that was called “Mostly True.” Mostly because there are three states — California, New Jersey, and Rhode Island — that do mandate it.

Other facts about how we are doing since Obama took office? Thought you’d never ask:

The US auto industry has created 500,000 new jobs in the last five years.

More factories are opening their doors today than two decades ago.

We’ve doubled our production of clean energy since 2009.

Since negotiating with Iran, we’ve seen the first year and a half that they haven’t made advancements in their nuclear program.

Snap.

So, when you hear a Republican, or anyone for that matter, say that we are worse off because of Obama, just point out the facts that, under his presidency, the US has boosted clean energy, moved closer to energy independence, saw half a million new jobs created in just one sector of industry, reduced the deficit left by a Republican president, used diplomacy to make strides in the international community instead of going to war; and given us, and US, the best period of job growth since the last time a Democrat lived in the White House.

And don’t forget that he ordered the killing of Osama bin Laden — the man George W. Bush once called the Most Wanted Man in the world, and then just a year later said didn’t matter — and that we’ve seen stocks hit numerous record highs. And, I for one, will never forget that he was the first sitting President to come out for marriage equality, to talk about me and my community in speeches, and was the first President in history to mention the transgender community in a speech.

Just give ‘em the facts, ma’am and sir, and watch their tiny heads implode.

via Forward Progressives

A Pair of Oklahoma Asshats

Boy oh boy, the Republicans in Oklahoma really hate The Gays. I mean, how else do you explain the sudden rash of anti-gay, anti-marriage equality legislation that is being proposed by just two of Oklahoma’s wingnuts?

First up, we have Republican state Congressman Todd Russ who says he wants to protect court clerks from having to issue licenses to same-sex couples because, well, gay, and doesn’t want these clerk to have to condone or facilitate same-sex marriages.

Well, Todd, let me make this queer: doing your job by issuing a marriage licenses — or baking a cake or arranging flowers for that matter — is not condoning same-sex marriages, it doing the job for which you were hired and paid; and don’t get me started that there is not a single gay couple anywhere in the world who asked to have their marriage “condoned” by a court clerk or baker or florist. Plus, doing your job doesn’t facilitate same-sex marriage; it just means that you did your job. And if you choose not to do your job, kindly quit and find some job in Haterville that suits your bigoted needs and let someone who will perform the job for which they were hired do it. M’kay?

But, even better than that, under Todd Russ’ plan, you won’t be married when the state says you’re married; you’ll be legally wed when a “religious official” signs your marriage certificate. Then that official would file the license with the clerk.

But what about religious officials who don’t hate, Todd; those pastors and ministers and priests and rabbis who wish to perform same-sex marriages? Are those then legal, or are they still denied because a court clerk hates The Gays? And if that’s the case, then your new law makes no sense; you are allowing religion to dictate law and that ain’t how we work in America.

Russ goes on to say that marriages “are not supposed to be a government thing anyway.” But they are, Todd, they are; and I would suggest that, if you’re married, and I’m unsure about that because you have a bad case of Gay Face, you begin my having your legal marriage annulled, and then find a preacher to marry you and the missus. You want the laws changed, Toddy, you get the ball rolling.

Russ also makes note of the fact that the people of Oklahoma voted, and yes, by an overwhelming margin, back in 2004, for a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage and he hates that a judge, a judge, y’all, decided that treating gay people as less than in Oklahoma was wrong, and reversed that vote in October 2014. He’s apparently unaware that times, and minds, have changed from 2004 to 2014, for most everyone in the country except people like Todd Russ …

And Sally Kern. She’s another wingnut Republican Oklahoma state Representative, and she wants to go Todd Russ one, well, two better, by filing three measures aimed at the LGBT community. Kern, as you may recall, is infamous for saying that the, ahem, “Homosexual Agenda” was destroying the nation and posed a bigger threat to the nation than terrorism. Uh huh, yes she did. Of course, she had no proof, no reasonable argument, to back up her claims, but as bigots do, they just spout hate and call it truth.

First up is House Bill 1599, AKA the “Preservation and Sovereignty of Marriage Act.” House Bill 1599 says that no taxpayer funds or governmental salaries can be used for the licensing or support of same-sex marriage.

Again, Sally, we don’t need your support, we need you to do your job. And as taxpayers, we expect to be treated as all taxpayers and if you don’t want us to get married, Old Girl, get thee to a divorce court and end your marriage, too.

Then we have House Bill 1598 or the “Freedom to Obtain Conversion Therapy Act” which would allow parents to seek counseling and therapy to change a gay child’s sexual orientation without interference from the state.

Meaning a religious wingnut parent could force their child into therapy for being gay; and if we learned anything from Leelah Alcorn — and so many others — who killed themselves after being forced into reparative therapies, we learned that they don’t work, and all they do is damage young people, making them feel even more unloved, unliked and less than.

Last of all is House Bill 1597, a measure to allow businesses to refuse to provide services to the gay community, among others AKA “It’s OK to be a Bigot in OK.” It which would allow businesses to refuse service “to any lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender person, group or association,” and be immune from civil liability.

It’s really just a law that allows people to use their religion to deny services to an American citizen. But, does Sally think … and I’ll stop there for a moment because she clearly does not … that her little bill would allow, say, a Christian baker to refuse service to a Muslim customer; or vice versa? And, if I’m, say, an agnostic, can I use that to deny services to a religious couple or group?

What’s good for the Bigot Goose, Sally …

How is it possible, even in Oklahoma, that rational people — and I’m sure some Oklahomans are rational — look at these two morons who, with all that’s facing their state, devote any of their time to seeking to deny rights to the LGBT people, to allow LGBTQ youth to be forced into a therapy that reinforces an outdated notion that they are somehow damaged, that want to take marriage away from the government and give it to the churches but then make the state follow the law of the church.

We don’t do that in America; not even in Oklahoma.

Todd Russ

Sally Kern

Brandon Smith Is A State Senator So He Is Allowed To Drive Drunk

Brandon Smith, a Republican … dontcha know … state senator from Kentucky is trying to have his DUI charge dismissed because a one-hundred-twenty-three year old addition to the state constitution bans lawmakers from being arrested while the legislature is in session.

Yes, he’s doing just that.

See, Smith was arrested and charged with DUI on January 6, the very first day of Kentucky’s 2015 legislative session and, after a Breathalyzer test, was found to have a blood alcohol level of .088; even in Kentucky a person is presumed drunk when the alcohol to blood ratio is .08 and above.

But Smith’s attorney Bill Johnson has filed a motion to dismiss the charges citing section 43 of the Kentucky Constitution which states that "members of the General Assembly shall, in all cases except treason, felony, breach of surety of the peace, be privileged from arrest during their attendance on the sessions of their respective Houses, and in going to and returning from the same."

That language was added to the constitution in 1891.

And even Bill Johnson admits that the purpose of that addition was to "keep legislators from being bothered by people who would arrest them during sessions." It was not created to allow asshats like Brandon Smith to get out of a drunk driving charge when he was clearly drunk.

I wonder if Brandon Smith and Johnson would have filed suit to dismiss the charges if Brandon Smith, while driving drunk, killed someone.

Is this what passes for a legislator in Kentucky? A man who clearly breaks the law, endangering the citizens of hisstate, and then tries to weasel out of the crime because of an ancient statuette that doesn’t really apply to him.

No one was trying to arrest Smith during the legislative session to disrupt the session or to “bother” him; he was arrested for breaking the law, for driving drunk.

You’d think a legislator would try to uphold the law, not find some way to circumvent taking responsibility for his actions.

If you’d like, go HERE to send Smith an email telling him to take responsibly for his actions and not try to hide behind some antiquated law.

via Middlesboro Daily News

Weddings and Cocktails and Birthdays ... Oh My!

I’m back!

Gosh it seems like I was off-blog for two days! 

Two days! 

It felt like a stint in rehab, so now I know what Lohan goes through. And I also see that no one managed to pick up a broom and clean up while I was gone. Would it have killed anyone to run a vacuum through the place for me?

Okay … I’ll be fine. And happy, too, knowing that the computer issue that stopped me cold in my tracks was really not that big a problem at all, and fixed by the nice folks at PC Medic in a couple of hours. Then it was back home, fired up and ready for action …

So, what’s been happening around here since I’ve been gone? Well, first things first, today is my birthday — and, no, I don‘t mean my blog birthday I mean the actual days I came slip-sliding out into the world just phumpity-phump-phump short years ago.

And, seeing that I lived yet another year, Carlos made plans to wine me and dine me last Saturday night, until we got The News a week ago Sunday. The News was that our dear friends, and former Round-The-Way-Gays — they are now the Further-Round-The-Way-Gays — David and Neal had decided to get married on the 24th after :::gasp::: a mere 31 years as a couple. Why the rush, I wanted to say, but, thankfully kept my mouth shut.

We have a mutual friend, Chuck, who is a licenses minister and he longed to perform the marriage ceremony for David and Neal and those two crazy kids were just gonna dash up to Chuck and Jeannie’s house and tie the knot all secretive and such. Then another friend, John, heard about that and suggested David and Neal get married is his and his husband Toby’s — they married last October 24th — backyard. It would be just a handful of people, until John began calling friends and inviting people and keeping it a secret.

It turned out to be about twenty or so friends and family who witnessed the wedding — making it my second same-sex wedding, though I never actually believed I’d ever see even one. There was champagne and red wine and white wine and champagne and then thankfully food and fun and cake and pictures and just a fabulous, fun, friendly, family day.

Congratulations David and Neal.

After the party, Carlos and I headed off to dinner at a local restaurant with a view of downtown Columbia and the river, to pre-celebrate the Day Of My Birth. And there was more wine and more martinis and pastas and a killer stacked salads and a delish Key Lime Pie for dessert. And the company of the sweetest man I’ve ever met. We don’t get out to nice diners — just the two of us — very often—so it was just a great evening sitting with Carlos and chatting with Carlos and laughing with Carlos and drinking martoonies with Carlos.

Of course, as happens, Sunday came around and the first thing I did was put my slippers on the wrong feet, so either I am officially old — and who said thirty was old? — or I was still reeling from champ-wine-tooni night. Luckily the computer was still ill because I doubt I’d have been able to slap together a concise yet cogent sentence — as if I’ve ever done that — about anything at all.

So, that was the weekend, with fun, and fury, and fun, and now here I am, thinking of cutting myself open to count he rings and see how old I actually am …

… I think it’s somewhere between forty and death.

Uh Oh--UPDATE 1/25/2015 Updated 1/26/2015

Computer ills ... and y'all know that I know so much about computers.
Back soon.

1/25/2015: Tommorrow the computer gets checked into the Hospital to see what ails her.
Hopefully, it's an easy fix and then I'll be back.. Until then .... play nice!

1/26/2015: It's fixed. T'was nothing major, and I'll be back a'blogging in the AM!

I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

I’m loving the new Fox show, Empire — some critics say it’s the best new show of the year though I won’t go that far — mainly because of Taraji P. Henson who plays Cookie, and plays her fiercely. The downside of Empire? That pile of smug, Terrence Howard, a misogynistic douchebag who has been accused of assaulting women at least six time … that we know about … because he’s kind of Bill Cosby Lite., you know.

Out to promote his show, Terrence wants you to know that he’s a good guy, who was only a douche because he was frustrated as a child because he didn’t know who he was, and that he stopped abusing women last year, after marrying for the fourth time:

“A lot of things that I got involved with in younger days, in the earlier days was the product of my environment. [It was] the product of not knowing how to deal with frustration, the product of not knowing who Terrence Howard is. Now I’m married with a new wife, with a brand new baby. I’ve grown so much from anything that’s happened in the past.”

Let’s dish: Howard’s record of ALLEGEDLY assaulting women dates back to 2000 when he was accused of grabbing and shoving a flight attendant during a flight — he was also accused of assault in 2001, 2005, 2011, and 2012 — and then runs right on through to 2013 when his ex-wife ALLEGED that he “knocked her down” and kicked her in the head.

Howard admitted to some of the assaults when questioned by the police, and has taken plea deals in some situations, and in others, the charges were dropped after being “settled in civil court” AKA payoff court.

So, it’s not really in the past is it? Nor is it anything to forget.

What’s this? Lindsay Lohan got a job? In America?

Lohan is currently shooting a commercial for the Allstate’s online brother, Esurance to air during the Super Bowl.

Seriously, Lohan, who’s been in more accidents than I have fingers, is doing a commercial for car insurance? I mean, how many people has she run over and how many cars has she ruined?

You can’t make this stuff up.

Okay, so it’s no secret that Bruce Jenner no longer looks like Bruce Jenner, Olympian, but looks more like, and I’ll say it, Brenda Jenner; but that’s his business and his life and his face and his Adam’s apple and hair and fingernail polish.

But InTouch Weekly stooped to new low recently by superimposing Bruce’s face onto Stephanie Beacham‘s body and adding full makeup in what most rational folks are seeing an attempt to “out” him as transgender. And, let’s remember that Bruce has never spoken about his new look, er looks, publicly so there is no actual factual truth to the story.

In any case, Bruce isn’t the one who’s angry about the story, no, that falls to That Woman, his ex-wife, because the world revolves around her. She is reportedly so incensed over the story that she has had a meltdown — though you cannot tell by her face which has seen more upgrades and injectibles than Bruce’s — and says she will no longer sell give stories to In Touch; oh, and she did not, oh no she did not, give them this story at all.

A source — and it’s Khloe because, well, what else does she have to do besides Instagram her newly thinned waistline all over town — says, “Kris has cut off contact with In Touch, Life & Style and all Bauer publications. They won’t get any ‘real’ quotes from the family, and will be banned from Kardashian-Jenner red carpets, events, premieres and fashion events.”

Until Kris has something to shill, like her ALLEGED upcoming Playboy spread.

Spread. Ew.

In keeping up with the Bruce Transformation Theme … it appears he might just be ready to talk about his new look, but only if it’s done on, wait for it, it’s so predictable, on the 10th season of Keeping Up With The Kardastrophes.

A source — Khloe … yawn — says:

“Bruce and Kris address his changing appearance in a scene they shot together. It will be a plotline.”

Um, if you call it a “plotline” are you finally admitting this is not a “reality” show?

Anyway, you can be sure this “conversation” will be drawn out for an entire season of Kardastrophe until Bruce says he changed his appearance because, well, he wanted to do it … to distance himself once and for all from those famewhores.

Now onto another Kardastrophe, Kanye West Kardastrophe.

He’s talking about the time he was racially profiled by the police … arrested and charged with stealing printers from an OfficeMax back in 2000 … because of his braids.

The story is back now because Kanye was deposed in the case filed against him by a photographer whom Kanye assaulted. In the deposition, Kayne admits to being convicted of a felony and says it was because he was “racially profiled for having a white T-shirt and braids.”

But Kanye gets loose when the details — admitting he was arrested — and doesn’t say where he was when the arrest came down; he does say, of course, that he was already a successful music producer. He also adds that the police doctored evidence to frame him, saying, “I was driving a white Ford Expedition. When I saw the police report, they crossed out where it said ‘Cream Ford Explorer.’”

Cream. White. Oy Kanye, that shrieks conspiracy.

Kanye believes he was convicted of a felony but says it was actually “a mistaken identity for stealing some printers from OfficeMax after I was a platinum producer.”

Maybe he was arrested because his music was so bad, too?

Maybe you never saw it, it was on TV for a hot minute, but LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian‘s reality show has been canceled.

I know! I mean, the couple created the show to dispel rumors about their marriage and how they got together, but apparently no one cared.

Or, everyone knows how they got together: they cheated on their spouses and then dumped the spouses and married one another until such time as one or the other cheats again and that marriage will end and they will each go on to star in another reality show that will be canceled because …

… no one cares about Eddie and LeAnn.

Meanwhile, back at Lohan …

You remember that Lindsay recently completed a not-so-horrific run in Speed-the-Plow in London’s West End and so she’s feeling like a ‘real’ actress again, especially since rumor has it that Oprah wants to capitalize on crazy again and get Lohan a job on Broadway.

My first thought was as an usher but does anyone think Lohan could find a seat in a theater? I mean, there are numbers and letters involved and counting and the alphabet are not her strong suits. But, an insider — possibly Oprah’s husband Gayle — says:

“Oprah bought the rights to several books that she wants to produce for the stage, and Lindsay is begging to be cast in one [but] if that doesn’t work out, she’s hoping Oprah can get her an audition for something like ‘Cabaret.’”

Can you imagine Lindsay Lohan on Broadway? I can’t, not since Giuliani ran the hookers off of 42nd Street!

At a Chris Brown concert you’re just as likely to see him grab his crotch and rap incoherently as get shot.

Truly. Five people were shot at his latest show in San Jose, and now it appears that the judge in charge of Chrissy’s probation isn’t feeling him performing any more. Plus, since Chris went to San Jose without consent of the court, Judge James Brandlin revoked his probation and ordered a further report and hearing on the singer’s status.

A district attorney’s spokesman says Brown specifically violated a provision that forbids him to leave Los Angeles County because he’s still on probation for RihannaGate and still has 200 hours of community service to complete; Two-hundred hours … even if he worked his community service hours off to the tune of fifteen hours a day, he’d barely complete them before his next court date.

Chris Brown is a complete asshat; I mean, he knew he couldn’t leave LA County without permission but feels like the law doesn’t apply to him. I hope the judge tosses his ass back in jail where, when he performs in Cellblock Idol no one will get shot.

In a bit of a Throwback, let’s talk Jason Priestly, known mostly for — okay, known only for — being on 90210 back in the day.

Priestly apparently wrote his memoirs last year because … I don’t know why … and while trying to scare up some interest in them, told a tale of how, while on Beverly Hills 90210, he was on his way to a PR event with Shannon “Crazy” Doherty in a town Car and claims that she bitched at the publicist for not sending a limo to pick her up.

Oooh drama. At least it must have been drama to Shannon — who also has nothing but time on her hands — because  she was just on the Sirius XM show “Just Jenny” — no, not McCarthy thank god — and says Priestly lied about the story because, get this, she hates limos, and he has brain damage … or something:

“I love Jason, but you know he had a car accident, a while ago, a racing accident, and I think maybe parts of his memory got altered from that. Because you know, I’ve addressed this before, everybody changes … they have their own perception of the truth. And his is definitely different than mine. Cause … supposedly I wanted a limo and I’ve always hated limos my entire life. … I just know that at some point, everybody just needs to sell a book, right?”

Lord, two has-beens fighting over a story about a car from 1990? It’s a slow week for gossip.

Taylor Swift is an angel and everyone’s mean to her. I mean, how dare Jake Gyllenhaal show up at a Golden Globes after-party when she was planning on being there, too? She was forced to grab her Gaggle of Besties and head off for the ladies room to bitch and kvetch and cry about her ex :::gasp::: dancing with other girls.

But, it turns out Little TayTay isn’t all Sugar and Spice and inane lyrics and victim of bad boy choices, because, according to Star — hey, sometimes they get it right —she became the Globes Bad Girl by pressuring her BFF, 18-year-old high school friend, Lorde to have a drink at the ball.

A source says Taylor was drinking a rum and coke, but decided to switch to wine and so she started “feeding her rum and coke to Lorde.” Tay Tay apparently told Lorde she didn’t have to drink if she didn’t want to, but kept saying “rum is so good!” and “you’ll feel pretty” and “boys will like you.”

Who knew Taylor was really Rizzo and not Sandy?

So, last week a photo appeared online of John Travolta creeping up on a guy at 3AM in an LA gym; it was creepy because, well, Travolta, gym, massage, ick, and because it’s one of the rare times Travolta’s been photographed without that muskrat on his head.

Now, though, the guy who was creeped up on — one Justin Jones, a married stepfather of two children — has given an interview to The National Enquirer about the incident:

 “I was completely aware of what was happening. He just walks right up to me and introduces himself – ‘Hi, I’m John.’ He asked what I do for a living, if I was married, if I have kids, and what do I do with my spare time. … I understood what was happening when it was happening – it was in his body language. It didn’t make me uncomfortable, but I noticed it.”

It would make me uncomfortable, unless I was in a HazMat suit with a spray bottle of bleach in my hand.

For his part, Travolta explained that he goes to the gym at 3AM to work out because … he … has … kids.

Um, okay?