Random Musings

So, people hoping to visit Island Beach State Park over the long weekend were not allowed to because of the state government shutdown that Governor Chris “Krispy Kreme” Christie ordered amid the state budget standoff. But, oddly enough, some folks did get a chance to use that beach, free of crowds ... Governor Chris “Krispy Kreme” Christie and his family.

Oh, but they were only allowed to use it because they are also using the summer beach house provided by the state for a weekend down the Shore.

No budget standoff will stop Christie from going all beached whale in Jersey.

Asshat. Luckily he cannot run for governor again, but I can’t wait for him to run again at the White House and people bringing up BridgeGate and BullyGate and now BeachGate.

I mean, no chance he’d get elected after all that, especially when you throw in the fact that if he was elected President we’d have to pay to change the name of the plane from Air Force One to Air Force Tom.

Thank you! I’m here all week!

And the funny continued down at another beach, open for those pesky “regular folk” who created a sand sculpture of Chris “Krispy Kreme” Christie. 

It's sand on the outside and cheese in the middle.

We watched Snowden the other night, about accused spy, traitor, bad guy, Edward Snowden. Good movie; of course that was partly due to Joseph Gordon Leavitt, whom I really like as an actor, and, yeah, as some eye candy.

Of course it also starred, clockwise from JGL, Ben Schnetzer as a government hacker, Scott Eastwood, son of Clint, as a kind of nerdy computer guy, and the openly gay and openly adorable Zachary Quinto as a journalist helping Snowden get his story out.

Like I said, good story, and some Hot Men. Win.Win.

Dear House Democrats:

Sit the fuck down.

Love, Bob.

Oh, you need more? Well, the campaign arm for House Democrats out a new campaign slogan:

“I mean, have you seen the other guys?”

Seriously? You want us to take you seriously and this is the shiz you’re spouting? Go on then, do it, get voted out and give us four more years of _____ and the GOP.

I have a slogan for House Democrats:

“Fucking do something!”

Just sayin’.

Oops, Gay Orgies and Pope Francis! It seems Frankie is furious about an ALLEGED gay orgy at the apartment of a senior Cardinal.

Apparently Vatican police raided an apartment that belongs to the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith—AKA the Holy Office—after neighbors complained of loud noise. One of the jobs of the Holy Office is to deal with clerical sexual abuse.

Huh, maybe they were just getting a handle on what that means?

Oops! The Indiana GOP and trying to drum up support for an Obamacare repeal.

It seems Indiana Republicans called for people to share “Obamacare horror stories” on social media, but the only horror many people expressed was at the idea of losing it if the GOP repeal plan passes Congress. 

Talk about not knowing your audience! Here are some of those responses: 

“Obamacare means that my baby who fought leukemia and won can’t be denied coverage for a pre-existing condition. Obamacare means she gets the care she needs and we don’t have to choose between her health and keeping our home.”

“The real horror story was before the ACA when I wasn't covered for a pre-existing condition.”

“I started my own company since the ACA passed. I know quite a lot of others who have done the same thing now that affordable healthcare is not tied to an employer.”

“ACA worked well for me. Great service/support. Great docs/hospitals. Please appropriate more $$ to improve online experience-that would help.”

“As a breast cancer survivor I was dropped by 2 insurance companies before joining ICHIA, Indiana’s high risk pool. Obamacare was such a huge relief!! Not only was the cost of my insurance about 10% of what I had been paying monthly for over a decade, I actually got to see doctors and physical therapists to fix long neglected medical problems.”

Sorry, GOP, even your base is against you on this one, so let’s stop pretending it’s about fixing healthcare and say what it actually is: ruining what the black guy accomplished because, yeah, he’s a black guy.

So, I have Edition 2 of Hot Men, er, Hot Man.

There’s a piece of fluff TV show about a talk show with five female hosts—it’s written by former Viewster Star Jones—that is kinda dishy and fun; it stars Vanessa Williams, whom I have always liked.

But it also has McKinley Freeman as Williams’ son and he is sizzling especially in the shirt off department.

Let’s just say I do a lot of DVR playback when Freeman is on screen.

Ivanka? Suck it.

While appearing, where else, on Fox News, Daddy’s Little Girl squeeeeed this one out:

 “I am proud on so many levels, and really traveling this country has made me even more of a proud American today than at any other point in my life. You see the spirit, the tenacity. You see the sacrifice. You meet with soldiers and sailors and their families, and you think about all the things that they’re doing to ensure that the America we know remains true and can continue on.”

First off, Fox, is it me or did you miss Ivanka saying she was more proud to be an American now? Surely you must have because when Michelle Obama said the same thing eight years ago you blasted her as unAmerican because ... oh yeah, black.

Cuz when a white girl says it, its okay; especially a rich white girl.

All y’all sit the fuck down.

Yeah, I had a long holiday weekend ... thanks Independence Day ... but some folks had to work and kvetched all over social media about it.

I’m looking at you, Ambassador to the United Nations Nikki Haley. The former ... thanks the goddess ... South Carolina governor, expressed her dismay over missing Fourth of July fireworks because North Korea decided to test an intercontinental ballistic missile officials say is capable of hitting Alaska.

Haley Tweeted:

“Spending my 4th in meetings all day. #ThanksNorthKorea.”

And Twitter went for her:

Kevin Allred:

“it's called public SERVICE you stupid cow. #ThanksNorthKorea for keeping her racist ass off the streets today.”

Geraldine:

“The amount of arrogance in this tweet is baffling. Is serving the American people an inconvenience for you? If so, feel free to step down.”

Kelly Scaletta:

“Uhm. You know that the 4th of July isn't an international holiday, right?”

Justice Girl:

“#ThanksNorthKorea?? Seriously, our government is being run by a bunch of 1st graders who engage in world diplomacy via Twitter. #resign.”

Tom Maxwell:

“Spending my 4th hoping we don’t get dragged into a war by a psychotic megalomaniac. Or that guy from North Korea.”

Shannon Watts:

“Meanwhile, Donald Trump went golfing for 36th time since becoming president and Nikki Haley has the sadz she's in North Korea meetings."

I was gonna go for one of my own, but there are priceless.

And Nikki Haley is now all of our problem and not just South Carolina.

The other day, as we were leaving for work, Ozzo began this barking at nothing and so I said, to the dog, because I speak dog:

“Ozzo! Knock it off or I’ll kick you till your dead.”

Sidenote: that’s a paraphrase of a line from Moonstruck where Olympia Dukakis’ character tells her father-in-law that if he gives any more of her food to his dogs, she’ll kick him till he’s dead.

So, Carlos says to me:

“He’s just barking! It’s called Free Speech.”

“Ah, but this house is a dictatorship, and I’m the dick.”

And Carlos says:

“Tell me.”

Ouch.

So, thanks to Towelroad, we now have a list of some of the hottest men in films this year.

Yes, I posted about the Hot Men in Snowden and I posted about the Hot Man on Daytime Divas, and now I’m posting more Hot Men because this is my blog, and the men are hot, and it’s hot and I’m hot and ... where was I?

Oh, yeah, men ... here they are:

Paul Hamy as “Fernando” in The Ornithologist. Sam Claflin as “Philip” in My Cousin Rachel.

Colin Farrell as “Corporal McBurney” in The Beguiled.

Hugh Jackman in The Greatest Showman.

Daniel Kaluuya as “Chris” in Get Out.

Chris Pine as “Steve Trevor” in Wonder Woman.

Oz Zehavi as “Yos” in The Wedding Plan.

Sam Claflin as “Philip” in My Cousin Rachel.Sam Claflin as “Philip” in My Cousin Rachel.

So get out to the movies, sit in the air conditioning, and drool over some hot guys.

It one way to beat the ... heat.

Architecture Wednesday: Inside Outside House

This is, and was, the perfect site for a home; in fact, there had been a home on this four acre parcel, in the Forest of Dean, with panoramic views looking towards the Wye Valley. The home, the original one, was visible from significant distances.

This one ... not so much.

The proposal involved replacing the existing house, with a new highly sustainable, energy efficient live-work dwelling specific to both the site and to the client’s needs. This included their passion for the landscape and environment along with their requirement for two artist’s studios and gallery space. They asked that the new build be contemporary and to respond sensitively, positively, to the site.

The form of the building is derived from the landscape ... the slope, trees, levels and the views ... and from the site history. The low lying replacement dwelling is embedded into the site, cut into the slope of the hillside and buried to create an earth shelter integrated into the landscape.

The footprints of the three existing buildings have been converted into the new dwelling from ‘inside’ to ‘outside’ spaces. The roof is created by continuing the existing upper field along and over the building; this provides a highly insulated, intensive green roof as well as binding the spaces together to form a single storey largely open plan home.

In addition, those footprints of the existing buildings, were cut out and are now open to the elements, form beautiful sheltered external courtyards inside the home so that the inside is now outside, and the outside is now inside.

HomeDSGN

Someone Get The Texas Supreme Court A Dictionary So They Can Look Up "Equality"

In a display of blatant bigotry, homophobia, stupidity and lack of knowledge about the law, last week the Texas Supreme Court sided with same-sex marriage opponents who argued that the city of Houston should not have extended its benefits policy to married same-sex couples because ... same-sex.

Yes, even though the United Effing State Supremes ruled that The Gays are legally entitled to full equality, as in marriage, the Texas Supremes, stepped back a bit and said, Oh no, not The Gays! Not.The.Gays.

The Texas court—and, yes, I get it, it’s Texas—threw out a lower court ruling that had favored the benefits policy was enacted by Houston's former, and first openly gay, mayor, Annise Parker, in 2013.

And that was the same year that the US Supreme Court ruled that the federal government must extend benefits to married same-sex couples, while in 2015, the Supreme Court declared same-sex marriage legal in all 50 states ... which, last I checked, though I don’t like the idea ... included Texas.

The plaintiffs—two taxpayers, and no doubt, _____ supporters, represented by same-sex marriage opponents—say that Houston's benefits policy goes further than the 2015 Supreme Court's Obergefell decision requires ... you know, that The Gays are equal and should be treated as such every-effing-where.

And the Texas Supreme Court agreed this time, though they originally declined to hear the case, but reversed course "under pressure from top Texas Republicans":

"Governor Greg Abbott, Lt. Governor Dan Patrick and Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton [all known homophobes ... my opinion] filed an amicus brief in October asking the all-Republican court to reconsider. They also asked the court to clarify that the U.S. Supreme Court case legalizing same-sex marriage, Obergefell v. Hodges, does not 'bind state courts to resolve all other claims in favor of the right to same-sex marriage.'"

Yes, these wingnuts and bigots running Texas, while taking time away from their new anti-transgender platform, have convinced the state Supreme Court that even though the US Supreme Court found The Gays equal under the law, it doesn’t have to be that way in Texas.

So, you know, Fuck off, Texas.

NPR

Happy 4th of July: Resist and Stand For What You Believe

Just in time for the Fourth of July, one of our Canadian neighbors, rock legend Neil Young, has released “Children of Destiny.” a resistance anthem urging us all to “stand up for what you believe, resist the powers that be.”

“Should goodness ever lose, and evil steal the day, should happy sing the blues and peaceful face away — What would you do? What would you say? How would you act on that new day?”

Happy 4^th of July.

Resist! It’s patriotic!

To Prepare For The Fourth, I Need To Hoist The Flag .... Just Sayin'

Why _____'s Rants Of Voter Fraud Are Far More Dangerous Than You Might Think

Clearly, the Little Man in the White House has another dirty diaper and is whining like, well, a baby with a dirty diaper.

And it’s the same whine, with a new verse; see, Little Donny is still butt-hurt that he lost the popular vote by over 3 million votes and is again claiming voter fraud as to why so many of us took a look at his name on the ballot and went, “Oh fuck, no.”

And so now _____ is demanding that every single state turn over all their voter information—name, age, party affiliation, even the last four numbers of your Social Security—in an effort to prove we like him, we really, really like him.

But most of the states are saying the same thing I said in that ballot booth last fall, “Oh fuck, No,” and are refusing to turn over any information to this narcissistic man-child who is now claiming the states are “hiding something.”

Um, yeah, you fuckmonkey, they’re keeping the information out of your fat tiny hands because why would they want to give voter information to the asshat who is accused of colluding with Russia to steal the last election?

_____ Tweeted:

“Numerous states are refusing to give information to the very distinguished VOTER FRAUD PANEL. What are they trying to hide?”

The “distinguished voter fraud panel includes his Vice Colluder, Mike Pence, so, yeah, there’s that. There’s also the fact that no one, outside of _____ and his band of ignorant children—and I mean his actual children and the morons who work for him—believe there was this massive amount of voter fraud last November and wonder why the man who won—Thanks Russia—is still crying foul?

And the best part of all? Many of the states that are refusing to turn over data are states that _____ won, a clearly bipartisan Fuck You from both Democrats and Republicans to the President-For-Now.

Yup, twenty-seven states— from California to Arizona, Kentucky to Maine, South Dakota to Rhode Island—have told _____ to bugger off by refusing to provide all or some of the voter information requested by his Presidential Advisory Commission on Election Integrity ... don’t get me started on the idea of _____ and Integrity ... and Kansas Secretary of State Kris Kobach, the vice chair of that commission wants to know why states like Kentucky or California won’t provide available information:

“I mean, what are they trying to hide if they don’t want a presidential advisory commission to study their state voter rolls?”

Well, Kentucky’s Secretary of State, Alison Lundergan Grimes, a Democrat, gave the best response to Kobach and _____:

"There's not enough bourbon here in Kentucky to make this request seem sensible. Not on my watch are we going to be releasing sensitive information that relate to the privacy of individuals."

But _____remains crazed at the loss of the popular vote and is now claiming that even the states he won are conspiring against him to cover up voter fraud.

I mean, it makes no sense to accuse those who voted for you of covering up voter fraud against you, but that’s the lunacy of the tool in the White House who, if he’s reading this, and he might, let me just add:

Hillary Clinton won the popular vote by over 3 million, and if you factor in those who voted Anyone But Trump, the popular vote loss is even greater, Asshat.

Still, it’s not just laughable, it’s also a dangerous sign of the mental instability that resides at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue; think of it like this—from PoliticusUSA:

“Substitute voter fraud for a North Korea nuclear bomb, and the problem becomes much more serious. _____’s refusal to live in reality is putting the United States and the world at risk. If _____ believes that North Korea has a nuclear weapon, when they don’t, it could lead to world war.”

Not so laughable now, is it?

If _____ attacks those states that supported because he believes in some wacknut conspiracy theory, there are no limits to the damage that this mentally unfit tyrant could cause.

Luckily, most of the country is doing what the GOP won’t do: standing up to _____, though, sadly, this is causing this delusional fuckmonkey to go even further off the rails.

And goddess knows where that leads ...

PoliticusUSA

The Hill

The Funny Papers

Chan Lowe, Bill Day, Darrin Bell, Gary Huck, Steve Breen, Mike Luckovich, Steve Sack, Jack Ohman, Michael Ramirez, Steve Benson

It's Snarkurday!

So, Iggy Azalea. I don’t know her. And I don’t know who, or what, Halsey is, either, but apparently Halsey, who is bi-racial, and has blue hair apparently, fired some shady shots at Iggy, calling her a “moron” with a “complete disregard for black culture.” 

M’kay. And so then, Iggy talked about Halsey while on an Australia radio show, saying she was surprised Halsey came for her and said she wouldn’t have done the same because she doesn’t come for people she doesn’t know:

“Yeah, it’s a bit weird to bring someone up in an interview that you weren’t asked about. It’s kind of like if we were talking right now and then I just like, randomly started talking about Janet Jackson ... For me, because I’m a famous person obviously and I know a lot of the time people have opinions and they’re not always accurate, so I really try very hard not to give my personal opinions about people that I don’t know. I don’t know her.”

Mariah Carey’s lawyers are thinking of filing a copyright infringement lawsuit against Iggy because “I don’t know her” is a Mimi Trademark.

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Speaking of Mimi, after her cameo in The House was scrubbed because of her diva antics, she flew into Tel Aviv to promote her partnership with skincare line, Premier Dead Sea Cosmetics.

Mimi wanted to talk beauty and Mimi, her two favorite topics, but the press wanted to discuss James Packer, her billionaire ex, and his possible involvement in a corruption scandal.

See, Packer is friends with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, who is under investigation for ALLEGEDLY accepting illegal gifts from rich businesspeople ... like James Packer who ALLEGEDLY wanted to buy himself some Israeli citizenship for tax reasons. Packer ALLEGEDLY gifted members of the Netanyahu family with vacations and use of his private jet, and even gave free tickets to see Mimi perform in Israel in 2015—I kid, perform? I mean totter around on hooker heels and lip sync.

So, when Mimi met with reporters to push Premier Dead Sea Cosmetics she was asked about Packer and acted as though she had no idea who he was before muttering something about staying out of politics. And when the reporter brought up the free concert tickets, Mimi tried to joke her way out of it before awkwardly saying she feels bad if that happened. Then came a question about a dinner Mimi and Packer had with the Netanyahus, and if she remembered any “gift giving.”

Mimi said all she remembered was the food. Go figure. Mimi and food, til death do they part.

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Real Housewife of New York, and Pinot Grigio slurper, Ramona Singer had a “meltdown” in the Hamptons recently when she confronted publicist Anna Rothschild and accused her of tattling about Singer and her ex-husband Mario Singer’s 2014 affair with Kasey Dexter.

While witnesses said Ramona—who divorced Mario last year—“had a meltdown” and “screamed” at Rothschild, saying she was “evil, horrible . . . you broke up my family,” Rothschild calmly replied:

“Your husband was the one who left you and broke up your family.”

Afterwards, i.e. after sobering up, Singer tried to downplay the incident by saying she “merely expressed to her that I felt it was a low blow to ... [release] private information on my then-marriage and family.”

A Singer alcohol-induced meltdown and no Bravo cameras around to capture it? Then maybe it didn’t really happen.

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Lord help us all, but ... Lindsay Lohan is trying to be the new GOOP.

Last week Lohan announced on Instagram and Twitter that she had launched a subscription-based lifestyle site called, wait for it, Lindsay Lohan.

I would’a gone with LOOPY.

But, for just $2.99 a month, you can have access to Lindsay’s life, beauty secrets and lifestyle tips ... like how to apply make-up for a mugshot, how many lawyers to have on speed dial after a bar brawl, how to wangle a better color than orange for a jumpsuit.

I think, though, for $3.99, you might get Lindsay After Dark and already several Russian businessmen are plunking down rubles that for that one,

Just sayin’.

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Media whore Kelly Osbourne marched in NYC’s Pride Parade last week because, media whore, but the big story was that, while marching, Kelly really had to go and so she ducked into a Starbucks to use the bathroom and says the baristas gave her the “The toilet is for customers only” spiel and so Kelly Osbourne pissed herself.

Seriously? Why didn’t she just buy something then? Oh yeah, media whore; if she’d bought something she wouldn’t have peed in her shoes and then traipsed all over social media to complain about how hard her life is, without ever thinking that the Starbucks bathroom is for customers and not the tens of thousands of people marching down NYC’s already urine-soaked streets.

But Starbucks Corporate told their side of the story and essentially pissed on Kelly Osbourne again by saying that particular Starbucks has no bathroom and that customers are “typically directed to a store a few blocks away.”

I guess Kelly just couldn’t make it or else, yeah, media whore.

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The finale of HBO’s Silicon Valley aired this week and marked the final appearance of  T.J. Miller.

Last month it was announced that Miller and producers had “mutually agreed” this season would be his last, but then T.J. started talking and talking and ... maybe it wasn’t so mutual?

Miller says he never spoke to executive producer Alec Berg about his decision to leave because “I don’t like Alec,” and, “I don’t know how smart [Alec] is. He went to Harvard, and we all know those kids are fucking idiots. That Crimson trash.”

Burning bridges. That’ll play well in Hollywood.

Congrats T.J. you’ve officially become the new Sean Young or Katherine Heigl. Good luck squeezing into that cat-suit or hawking kitty litter

Google “Sean Young Catwoman” and “Katherine Heigl Kitty Litter” if you wanna know.

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Kendall Jenner and Kylie Jenner are their mother’s daughters because they’ll do anything for attention ... like literally stealing images of famous African-American rap artists and putting their own Jenner-branded stink on them.

Seriously; the Kendall + Kylie clothing line has a bunch of vintage-style t-shirts for “bands” and rap artists, like Biggie and Tupac, and then they stamped their own faces on the shirts too, because when you think Biggie or Tupac you also think untalented hacks who’ve become famous because their older sister fucked on camera and their mother sold that video.

But, as soon as the t-shirts went on sale online, everyone was outraged and suddenly the t-shirts were pulled from the online store, and so Kendall took to Twitter to apologize and actually uttered the line:

“These designs were not well thought out.” 

Ya think? Because nothing Jenner or Kardastrophe is ever fully thought out, except for how it might keep their names in the press.

That Woman must be sqeeeeeeeing all over herself.

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Something new has been revealed in the filing of Johnny Depp’s lawsuit against his former managers, The Management Group [TMG].

TMG filed an extensive chronology of their communications with Depp to prove they had informed him of his extensive money issues for years and to prove he has a history of lying publicly and a history of paying people off to lie for him.

The lie in question is that Johnny Depp had full knowledge that his two dogs, Boo and Pistol, were being smuggled into Australia in 2015.

Depp, working on Pirates of the Caribbean 5 at the time, claimed Amber and some staffers “accidentally” smuggled in the dogs, which is against Aussie laws. Heard ended up pleading guilty to a minor charge and paid a fine.

But now TMG says Depp was “fully aware that he was illegally bringing his dogs to Australia, and when confronted [he] heavily pressured one of his long-term employees to ‘take the fall.’”

And so there’s a slight chance Johnny Depp could face perjury charges; Australian Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce:

“If the allegation is correct, there’s a word for that—it is called perjury. We’re an island continent and we take biosecurity very seriously and it doesn’t matter if you think that you’re Mr. Who’s Who of Hollywood, you’re going to obey our laws.”

Now, it’s probably just huffing and puffing by Joyce, but it’d be kinda sweet to see Depp up on perjury charges since he ALLEGEDLY had his then wife, and then employee, take the fall for the Dog Smuggling.

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Again, someone I do not know: Hannibal Buress.

But he’s apparently in the new Spider-Man: Homecoming and recently walked the red carpet at the LA premiere ... or did he?

For whatever reason, the real Hannibal Buress didn’t want to go to the premiere, so he ALLEGEDLY put out an open call on Twitter—which has since been deleted—asking for a look-a-like with “solid comedic timing” to go in his place. He asked all interested candidates to provide pictures, and if chosen, they would receive $500 compensation. And then he chose LA actor and screenwriter Joe Carroll.

Buress best be careful lest Joe Carroll make a better Buress impression and instead of producers asking for Buress, they’ll start asking for a Buress look-a-like.

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