Kentucky Basketball Player Comes Out, Gets Chased and Threatened By Opposing Team

Dalton Maldonado plays basketball for Betsy Layne High School in Kentucky. Now, I’m not big on the sports scene, but from what I’ve read they weren’t exactly a top-tier team. In fact, at a basketball tournament last winter, Betsy Layne was being badly beaten by the opposing team, so Maldonado, a starter for his team, sat out the fourth quarter.

After the loss — by some 32 points — Dalton lined up with his team to shake hands with the victors, and heard someone shout:

"Hey No. 3, I hear you're a faggot."

For the record, Dalton Maldonado is No. 3 and he is gay, and so he turned to see who yelled and found several people staring back at him. And though there had been rumors that Dalton was gay, he’d still not told anyone except for two friends, including his best friend McKenzie Akers; and he’d only come out to his parents a week earlier. Still, he decided to defuse the situation with a joke:

"Yeah baby, can I have your number?"

I love that; it completely shut down the other player. There was no fear and no shame and no hiding; it was the equivalent of a great big, Yeah? So what? But now, because of some jerk at a basketball game, things would change.

"I sat back down and realized that I had just came out, and it was definitely not the way I wanted to. Reflecting back to this moment I realize that there was nothing I could do about it. … My teammates asked what was wrong, and what he had said to me. McKenzie told them to stop questioning me, but they kept asking and asking. It just built up this pressure in me. I finally stood up and said, ‘I'm gay, I'm gay, okay?'" — Dalton Maldonado

It wasn’t how he’d wanted to come out; it wasn’t when he’d wanted to come out. In fact, he never wanted to come out while playing sports at all because he knew about the whispers and jokes, and locker-room mumblings about gay men not being good athletes. But now he was out, and it was supposed to get better.

Instead it got worse; as Dalton and his team headed to the bus, members of the opposing team were waiting, calling him a "faggot" and telling him to face them. When Dalton ignored them and got on the bus, the other team began pounding on the windows and shouting “faggot” at him; a couple of players from the team even tried to board bus, but were pushed back by the coaches and team members and finally the bus pulled away.

Yet it still wasn’t over … The other team got in their cars and pursued the bus, making hand gestures at Dalton like they wanted to shoot him. Betsy Layne coaches called the police to tell them they were being chased by members of a basketball team because one of their players was gay. Finally the coach of the opposing team, I believe they’re called the Homophobes — in reality, the name of the opposing school is not mentioned because the school is on spring break and administrators were not able to respond to the story — calmed his team down as police met the Betsy Layne bus at their hotel.

But it wasn’t over … Both teams were in the middle of a four-day tournament and still had games to play.  The hotel was put on "lock down," with only Betsy Layne players allowed access to a certain floor, while tournament organizers and school athletic directors decided what to do.  The question was whether they would stay and play, or go home; it was kind of left up to Dalton Maldonado, who chose to finish the games.

For the rest of the tournament, local police escorted the team to and from their games, and the opposing team was kept away from Betsy Layne High School, though they still tried to intimidate Dalton; when those homophobic players tried to do a shoot-around at halftime of a Betsy Layne game, they were removed from the floor.

“If we would've went home it would've looked like I was ashamed of who I am, and I'm not ashamed of who I am. I can stand up for myself, and I had my teammates and coaches by my side. I knew we would be okay. God wouldn't let anything happen to us. We had come three hours to a tournament and we were finally playing as a team and coming together."

What is sad, and sick, and odd and twisted, and in the end, quite hopeful about this story, is that while the unnamed team shouted horrific names at Dalton, his own team, finding out at that moment that he was gay, instantly stood by his side.

"To this day I haven't lost a friend over coming out. I've actually become closer to them. In fact, the one person in my school and on my team I was scared to tell sung the song ‘Same Love' to me as he told me he would always be here for me and was proud of me. It was then that I realized how truly blessed I was."

But this is Kentucky, and, well, things take time to change there, especially in rural Kentucky. The name calling wasn’t exactly over, and as other schools learned about the gay player, Dalton would be called names; at one game the band for the opposing team began chanting "fag-got fag-got." But now it was different; now his team knew and they stood behind him; Dalton Maldonado wasn’t only or different or on the outside for being gay.

"I felt like I didn't have anything to hide anymore, and the fact that they accepted me made it all better!"

Dalton Maldonado will probably attend Kentucky University in the fall, and he may play basketball for them; while he loves the game, he’s not exactly the best play, so he may hang up his basketball shoes. But he wanted to tell his story; he wanted people to know that coming out was the best thing he ever did, even the way he was forced to do it. In fact, he says if he’d known how his coaches and his team would respond, he would have done it sooner.

"It was so much easier playing my senior year because I didn't have to worry about my parents or teammates finding out because I had already told them. I feel like this can help other young athletes, help them come out. My freshman year I didn't think I would ever come out. Now here I am telling the world."

story via Outsports

photo credit: Mandy Stumbo

Look! Up in the sky! It's a plane: No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

After Michael Sam came out as gay he spoke about the closeted football players who reached out to him, and said they didn't "have the same courage" to come out before staring their NFL journey like he did.

Well, since no good deed goes unpunished, a bisexual NFL player, speaking anonymously, has pushed back against Sam and his comments:

"As a bisexual man, I just feel like Michael Sam does not speak for all gay men. He has his own opinion ... but DON'T say that we don't have the courage to come out. It's totally wrong. Just speak for yourself. No one else."

Wait. So this closeted gay athlete is angry at Michael Sam for saying closeted gay athletes don’t have the courage to come out before going pro, and yet he’s saying this anonymously while staying in the closet?

Honey, you just proved Michael Sam’s point.

Coming out is a process, and everyone does it at their own pace and time, but you are doing exactly what Michael Sam was talking about.

Now, take a seat, back in the closet again.

I Didn't Say It ...

George Takei, actor, activist, on Indiana Governor Mike pence signing an anti-gay "religious freedom" bill into law:

"I am outraged that Gov. Pence would sign such a divisive measure into law. He has made it clear that LGBT couples, like Brad and me, are now unwelcome in his state. The notion that this bill was not driven by animus against our community is belied by the record and frankly insulting. I will join many in demanding that socially responsible companies withdraw their business, conferences and support from his state and that LGBTs and our friends and supporters refuse to visit or do business with Indiana. It is a sad day for the Hoosier state, and indeed for the many good people of Indiana, for whom this law now stands as a terrible blight upon that state's reputation."

Let me make this queer: if a governor wishes to sign a law stating that business can deny me service simply because I’m gay, then I, and I hope most of the LGBT community and our allies, will decide not to visit those states.
[photo source]

Tim Cook, Apple CEO, on those Religious Freedom Restoration Acts:

"Men and women have fought and died fighting to protect our country’s founding principles of freedom and equality. We owe it to them, to each other and to our future to continue to fight with our words and our actions to make sure we protect those ideals. The days of segregation and discrimination marked by 'Whites Only' signs on shop doors, water fountains and restrooms must remain deep in our past. We must never return to any semblance of that time. America must be a land of opportunity for everyone. This isn’t a political issue. It isn’t a religious issue. This is about how we treat each other as human beings. Opposing discrimination takes courage. With the lives and dignity of so many people at stake, it’s time for all of us to be courageous."

I’d like to see Tim Cook stage an Apple boycott of Indiana. His words have power, his deed could be mighty.
[photo source]

Rand Paul, speaking to a group of religious leaders at a private prayer breakfast about marriage equality:

"Don’t always look to Washington to solve anything. In fact, the moral crisis we have in our country, there is a role for us trying to figure out things like marriage, there’s also a moral crisis that allows people to think that there would be some sort of other marriage." 

Here’s the moral crisis, Rand: it’s that most people in this country are finally becoming aware that marriage equality is right and fair and doesn’t affect them at all. And you bigots and rightwingnuts and Teabaggers and Republicans are now realizing that your special brand of divisive politics needs a new scapegoat.

[photo source]

Josh Earnest, White House press secretary, talking to reporters about Indiana's Religious Freedom Restoration Act:

“I have seen that there are a number of private businesses and nonprofit organizations that have said that the signing of this law prompts them to reconsider doing business in the state of Indiana. All those business and some of those who are considering having conventions in Indiana have raised concerns about whether all of their employees can count on being treated fairly in Indiana. I think that is a testament to the kind of reaction I think a lot of people all across the country had, which is that the signing of the bill doesn’t seem like it’s a step in the direction of equality and justice and liberty for all Americans. Again, that’s not just the view of the administration, I know that’s the view of the Republican mayor of Indianapolis and a whole host of nonprofit and private sector companies who have legitimate concerns about the impact of this legislation.”

From the top: discrimination, for any reason, is wrong.

And, in  the interests of being transparent: I have a wee crush on Josh.

[photo source]

Martha Stewart, ex-con and lifestyle expert, taking on Ludacris, while pimping out her linens, at the Justin Bieber roast:

“I know you’re all wondering why I’m here tonight, It’s because Martha Stewart Changes peoples’ lives for the better. I believe the bedroom is the most important room in the house but I don’t have to tell you that, Ludacris. You have three kids with three different women. May I suggest pulling out some time and finishing on some fine, highly-absorbent Martha Stewart bed linens?”

Martha plays blue! And I love it!

[photo source]

Random Musings

Carlos and I love Jeopardy. He says I should be on the show, not that I’m so smart, but that I have a way of figuring out the question to the answer because, many times, they give you a clue to the question in the answer. But I digress … we were watching one day last week and the answer was something along the lines of:

Ants use these to both see and feel.

I mumbled, What are antennae?

Carlos said aloud, What are antlers?

Now, I know he meant antennae, but I literally fell outta my chair laughing at the idea of ants with antlers. And I was still laughing days later when I relayed the story to my Dad, who then asked to speak to his son-in-law about it.

And then my Dad relayed a story about my Mom that I never knew. He said that many moons ago, while driving through Texas, my mother spotted something in the road and said, Ooh, an armadillo!

My father took a look at it and said, That’s actually a piece of a tire.

And from then on whenever they spotted a piece of a tire in the road, my Dad would call it an armadillo.

I guess that’s where I get it from.

Texas Republican Representative Louie Gohmert is mulling a presidential run for 2016.

Just when you thought the biggest idiot running for the GOP was Ted Cruz, the clown car stops and someone opens the hatchback and Louie Gohmert pops out!

Barronelle? As I said on Facebook, I’m’a have to ask you to sit down, for a long while.

As you may recall Barronelle Stutzman is that Washington state florist who refused to provide flowers for a same-sex wedding and was subsequently charged with discrimination by the state.

Well, she was fined the massive sum of $1,000 last week, plus $1 for court costs and fees, and she has 60 days to pay the state for her refusal to serve Robert Ingersoll and Curt Freed when they sought to buy wedding flowers in 2013.

But now she says she’s going broke because of all this, when she’s probably just losing business because she’s a bigot and most folks don’t wanna do business with her.

Lesson learned: Discrimination doesn’t pay the bills on a florist shop.

[photo source]

This week NBC announced that their next big televised musical event will be The Wiz.

I say, Good luck, and don’t f**k it up. 

Seriously, don’t carrie-underwood The Wiz.

We’ve had our issues with Target in the past, most notably when they funded some anti-gay political candidates in Minnesota, but Target, now that they know better, is trying to do better, and have stepped up in light of these “Religious Freedom Restoration Acts {RFRAs] popping up around the nation with a new message:

“In recent days, we’ve heard from you, our guests. You’ve asked us for Target’s thoughts about what it means to have an inclusive culture. You’ve asked us if, given the current conversations taking place across our country, we were taking a stand. And while most of those have been one-on-one conversations as you have called or emailed us, we wanted to take time to share our thoughts more broadly. They are simple. Everyone deserves to feel like they belong. And you’ll always be accepted, respected and welcomed here.”

Good on Target for evolving.

So, Faye Dunaway was Joan Crawford in Mommie Dearest; every self-respecting gay oughta know that. But Faye hated the way the movie turned out, and loathed that it has become a camp classic despite a really great performance as Crawford. And in the years since then Dunaway almost always refuses to talk about the film, which many believe ruined her career. I mean, she went from Bonnie and Clyde to Chinatown to Network — for which she won an Oscar — to Mommie Dearest and then almost to oblivion.

That’s the bad news. The good news is that Dunaway is finally ready to address the career-changing film in a book.

Publisher’s Lunch, a publishing industry newsletter, mentioned an upcoming memoir in a recent email:

“Academy Award winning actress Faye Dunaway’s recollections, stories and behind the scenes account of the making of one of Hollywood’s most iconic films, Mommie Dearest, to Julia Cheiffetz at Dey Street Books, by Alan Nevins at Renaissance (World).”

To paraphrase Dunaway as Crawford: Christina!!! Bring.Me.My.Kindle!

[photo source]

So  a couple of weeks back I tuned in to a new comedy starring Nick Zano as a man who donates sperm to his Lesbian BFF so they can raise a child together and then, as the Lesbian reveals she’s knocked up, he reveals he’s just gotten married.

So, it’s straight guy and his wife, with his gay bestie raising a child. The show is called one Big Happy, but after watching for roughly five minutes, I dubbed it One Big Not Funny. And, while I won’t watch again, I was intrigued by Nick Zano, who has a younger Brad Pitt thing goin’ on.

He’s hot, but not hot enough to make me sit through thirty minutes of crap every week … though I think the show has already been cancelled.

[photo source]

Minute Rant: Bigot Pizzeria

First off, what self-respecting gay would serve pizza at their wedding? I mean, I love pizza, but, yeah, as a wedding meal? Oh hell no.

But that isn’t stopping the fine folks at Memories Pizza — owned by the Bigot, er, O'Connor family — in Walker, Indiana, from being just as giddy as can be that Governor Mike Pence signed the Religious Freedom Restoration Act; though I guess they’re less giddy now that he’s walked his discrimination back somewhat. But the O’Connor’s want y'all to know that if they were asked to cater a same-sex wedding, they wouldn't.

"If a gay couple was to come in and they wanted us to provide pizzas for their wedding, we would have to say no...We are a Christian establishment...We're not discriminating against anyone, that's just our belief and anyone has the right to believe in anything. We definitely agree with the bill. I do not think it's targeting gays. I don't think it's discrimination. It's supposed to help people that have a religious belief." — Crystal O’Connor

See what she does there? She says they aren’t discriminating right after she says she’d refuse to serve a gay couple. Me thinks Crystal might need to go back and finish the sixth grade before she opens her yap again But, I guess, with a father like hers, stupid is as stupid was taught:

"I agree with the bill. That's a lifestyle that you choose. I choose to be heterosexual. They choose to be homosexual. Why should I be beat over the head because they choose that lifestyle?" — Kevin O’Connor, Crystal’s father

So, Kevin chose heterosexuality? Um, Kevin, how much of the steamy man sex did you have before you realized it wasn’t for you? See, I never had the heterosexual sex because I knew was born gay and I knew it wasn’t for me.

I guess Kevin had to take it up the ass a few times before he figured out his orientation.

As I said, stupid is as stupid is taught.

Richard Sheridan: Good Christian and Anti-LGBT Vandal

You know, with all this talk about Religious Freedom and the apparent need to restore it, I wonder why? I mean, other than getting married, other than asking for equality under the law, the law not any religion, The Gays haven’t attacked people of faith; we might attack people of faith who believe the laws of this country should be based on the Bible, but that’s only because that isn’t what this country was founded upon.

So, again, I keep waiting for the gay attack on religion that seems to spur these RFRAs along, while I continue to read about Christians attacking gays, and gay sites, and, well, anything gay.

Take Richard Sheridan, a Dallas mayoral candidate and longtime anti-LGBT activist, for example. He has been arrested and charged with spray-painting the numbers "666" on the Legacy of Love Monument last month, and the Cathedral of Hope last June.

The monument, in the heart of Dallas' gayborhood, and the church — known as the world's largest LGBT congregation — were among 12 sites in the city vandalized with so-called "the number of the beast" in red paint; Sheridan has been charged in just two of the cases.

A grand jury indicted Sheridan for a state jail felony, punishable by up to two years behind bars, but if the prosecutors treat the case as an anti-LGBT hate crime, the charges could be enhanced to a third-degree felony, punishable by up to 10 years in prison.

So, again I ask, while I see evidence of Christian violence and vandalism aimed at The Gays, I’ve yet to see proof of The Gays attacking Christians.

Anyone? Bueller? Anyone?

source Dallas News

Architecture Wednesday: House In Kings Cross

This private residence is a new build, on the site of an older home; but the new home sits on the same footprint as its predecessor to minimize disturbance of the natural aspects of the site.

The stone roof is reminiscent of older homes and their stone roofs — the folding sloped front façade is made of durable, triple layered slate — and also works as a privacy screen from the street, with the front and north sloped façades designed as a folding plane that opens up through the various levels towards the extensive ravine below.

The interior is designed with an emphasis on space, form and light and its connection to the outside world. Passive systems, such as site orientation, passive solar and passive ventilation as well as geothermal, VOC free materials, in-floor heating, thick foam insulation at building envelope, solar and photovoltaic technologies are used in an effort to reduce energy consumption.

It’s the antithesis of those modern square block houses that are sprouting up; the fluid lines of the exterior walls and interior ceilings make the house seem to move within its environment.

Plus it’s pretty.

via HomeDSGN

Look! Up in the sky! It's a plane: Five Republicans Who Said ‘No’ To Legalized Hate

I often make note that the GOP is behind all this anti-LGBT hate in this country, but every so often some Republicans actually take a stand and do what’s right, or, at the very least, what their constituents want.

Case in point: here are five Republican members of the Indiana House that voted against that evil Religious Freedom Restoration Act:

Greg Beumer says he voted against the bill for “personal reasons,” though he admits that he might have voted differently had his vote been the difference in whether the bill passed or not. But, he says, “It was clear this bill was going to pass, which gave me the leeway to vote the way I did.”

Cindy Kirchhofer says that the residents of her Indianapolis district made it very clear to her that they wanted a ‘No’ vote and said, “I don’t vote my conscience. I vote the will of the district.”

Sean Eberhart says that his constituents were not insisting that he vote for the bill, but also says that since the vote he’s gotten more messages of support than condemnation for his ‘No’ vote.

Tom Saunders simply didn’t think the law was a “good idea” and “thought it sent an unwise message. It’s kind of a divisive message.”

Ed Clere sees the bill as a signal about something other than religious freedom and has always been outspoken about the dangers of RFRAs:

“Do we want our sign to say ‘Welcome?’ Or do we want our sign to say ‘Closed for Business?’ Or ‘Certain people aren’t welcome?’ Or, as some have suggested, ‘We don’t accept fill-in-the-blank?’”

So, let me say again, that while I believe most Republicans will always vote against the LGBT community, we need to note the members of the GOP who stand with us, and for equality, and against hate.

So, yeah, thanks to these five for doing the right thing.

via:

If You Only News

photo credits:
Greg Beumer
Cindy Kirchhofer
Sean Eberhart
Tom Saunders
Ed Clere

Indiana or Arkansas: It's All The Same Hate ... But Now With An UPDATE

I’m flummoxed by Arkansas. I mean, were their TV sets turned off for the last week or so? Did they not get a newspaper even once? Is their internet down? Have they never heard of Indiana?

How else do we explain how the Arkansas legislature has just passed a ‘Religious Freedom restoration Act’ [RFRA] that is nearly identical to the one passed last week in Indiana; the one that sparked protests, petition drives, and may well end Mike Pence’s political career forever?

Mike Pence. I giggle at his foolishness. He signs hate into law, then says maybe it needs clarification then says he won’t change the law, while saying Hoosiers don’t discriminate, and now, after costing the state millions and millions of dollars and making him the well-deserved butt of all jokes, as well as the poster boy for LGBT discrimination, he’s saying maybe the bill needs to be fixed, and maybe the discrimination parts need to be removed.

But then we have Arkansas …where Republican lawmakers, of course, passed HB 1228, a bill that the Human Rights Campaign describes as "virtually identical" to the controversial law in Indiana.

And, like Indiana, Arkansas Republican, of course, Governor, Asa Hutchinson, has promised to sign it. Hutchinson, with an apparent straight face — pun intended — says the bill is meant to strike a balance between religious freedom and equal protection of the law, but, um, yeah, sexual orientation is not covered by anti-discrimination laws in Arkansas, so the hate is legal.

Cue protests; cue boycotts; cue the end of a political career. 

Apple, Yelp and Little Rock-based Acxiom have all called on Hutchinson to veto the bill, and Wal-Mart has also come out against the bill, and urged the governor to veto it:

"Today's passage of HB1228 threatens to undermine the spirit of inclusion present throughout the state of Arkansas and does not reflect the values we proudly uphold." — Wal-Mart CEO Doug McMillon

In addition, the governors of New York, Connecticut and Washington have suspended some government travel from their states to Indiana, and are expected to do the same with Arkansas.

“They knew what they were doing. They were going to make it legal to refuse to serve gay men and women. Somebody has to call them on it." —  Connecticut Governor Dannel Malloy

Special ISBL Asshat status to Arkansas state Representative, and Republican of course, Bob Ballinger who authored the bill and said its language was staying put, and that it would be too confusing to try to define what constitutes discrimination."

"If that means that you can force somebody who has deeply held religious beliefs to engage in some activity that violates their deeply held religious beliefs, and that the state has the right to force them into doing it, I can't say that I do agree with that."

But you can say that denying someone services because they’re gay or a woman or a minorities is just dandy.

Pardon my French, but Fuck off. Hate is hate, no matter how you try to hide it with a Bible, and no matter how you try to spin it, no one’s God ever spoke up about hate.

UPDATE:

Arkansas Governor Asa Hutchinson — hoping he doesn’t get penced … yes, it’s a verb now, too — has asked the Arkansas legislature to make changes to the state’s "religious freedom" bill, HB 1228, to make it more like the Federal version, and less like the Indiana’s Hate Version.

As it stands, the Arkansas RFRA still becomes law in seven days unless Hutchinson vetoes it, which he did not do today.

sources:

NBC News
NCRM
MSNBC
HRC
#HateOutbreak

photo sources:
BlueNationReview
Arkansas Online
ArkTimes