It's Snarkurday!

All this talk of treating _____ and his co-criminals like they treat everyone else, by kicking them out of restaurants or refusing to serve them, has me annoyed, but Seth Rogen had the right idea.

Rogen was at a recent event hosted by former GOP presidential candidate loser Mitt Romney to promote brain health and had stopped to take a photo with a couple of fans, one of whom told Rogen:

“My father wants to meet you.”

Rogen says he saw House Speaker Paul Ryan approaching:

“My whole body puckered, I tensed up, and I didn’t know what to do. And I turned around and Paul Ryan was walking towards me.”

The two men shook hands before Ryan asked for a photo.

“I look over and his kids are standing right there expectantly, clearly fans of mine, and I said, ‘No way, man!’ And I couldn’t stop. I said, ‘Furthermore, I hate what you’re doing to the country at this moment and I’m counting the days until you no longer have one iota of the power that you currently have.’”

That’s how you do it.

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Wow, Hell has clearly frozen over because Kim Kardastrophe says she’s done with selfies.

Seriously, the woman who has posted boob shots and butt shots and nude shots and lip shots and waist shots and hair shots and kid shot all over social media says she’s done.

“I don’t take selfies anymore. I don’t really like them…as much. I just, like, kinda moved on, like, it’s not all about, like, sitting there taking selfies. I used to spend so much of my time taking selfies … I just would like to live in real-time a little bit more. Um, I don’t mind pictures, but I’m just not on my phone as much as I used to be.”

Rrrrrrrright. I’ll believe it when she actually does it. Hell, I wont even believe it then because Media Whore.

Oops, I spoke too soon … minutes, seriously, minutes, after saying she’s “moved on” from selfies, the Big Assed media Whore shared a risqué selfie in a bra and skimpy panties on Instagram.

And then she celebrated #NationalSelfieDay with another photo.

The woman clearly has no idea what words are or what they mean.

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Heather Locklear, Again.

Heather had another messy weekend. After being hospitalized last week for physically assaulting both her parents and then threatening to shoot herself, Locklear came home.

But no sooner than she had arrived, a call was made to police by someone in the home to report a disturbance and when the police arrived they found Drunk Heather. Well, they figured it didn’t matter much because she was drunk and shiz at home, so they left.

Then they got a second call a little while later, and came back to find Locklear, ahem, “extremely agitated.” That was putting it mildly because Locklear ALLEGEDLY punched one of the deputies who was trying to separate her from her family.

The paramedics were called, and the messiness continued. Heather was strapped to the gurney, but ALLEGEDLY got a foot loose and kicked an EMT. She was taken to a hospital, where she was eventually checked out and was subsequently booked into jail held on $20,000 bail.

This has been quite the year for Locklear …

In February, she was arrested for beating her boyfriend.

In March she ALLEGEDLY threatened to shoot a police officer who tried to arrest her.

In March she was charged with four counts of battery.

She must have taken April and May off but …

In June she was hospitalized after threatening to shoot herself. In June she was arrested again.

Someone needs to call Alexis Morell Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan and tell her to get her former daughter-in-law into rehab.

Or get a call out to TJ Hooker and tell him his former partner needs a room at Melrose Place Rehab.

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Okay, so we’ve all heard stories of folks trying to bring whatever animal they want onto a plane as their support animals, but this is a real story about a legitimate working dog brought on a plane by a blind women and rapper Ty Dolla $ign … don’t ask, I have no idea …who tried to get them thrown off a flight because he said he was allergic to the dog.

Seriously. Ty Dolla $ign—real name: Tyron William Griffin Jr—sat down in his eat on an Air Canada flight from Montreal to Ottawa when he spotted a seeing-eye dog near him. He got the person he was traveling with to ask the woman to … wait for it … get off the flight … because he was allergic to it.

Again. Seriously. The woman refused but offered Tyron an allergy pill, which he refused, because he said he had to perform that night and that’s when the flight crew stepped in on the side of the Seeing Eye Dog. They offered Tyron an entire back row to himself, but he wanted to stay in the seat he paid for and refused their offer.

Yes, he survived in the seat he paid for with the seeing eye dog nearby so clearly this was a case of a tiny man with a tiny dick making much ado about nothing.

Next time Tyron, why don’t you get a car and driver and then you can dictate who sits near you.

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Mel B is kind of a has-been, who’s hanging onto America’s Got Talent just to remain however relevant that show makes you. But since she’s just gone through a pricey divorce, she needs a way to make more coins.

Question is, how to do that? Oh, push the idea of a Spice Girls reunion, even though the other Spices are like, “Um, no.”

And yet this week, when she co-hosted the fourth hour of Today, she blabbed about how she and the other four–Posh, too—will be going on tour soon. But then host Hoda Kotb brought up the fact that Posh Victoria Beckham has already said there was no reunion tour EVER!

Mel B waved away that talk and said:

“She’s always bloody saying that — stop it! We are touring.” 

I think there will be a Spice Girls Reunion Tour with Mel B playing the role of All-Spice and the rest of the girls sitting in their homes, living their lives and just shaking their heads at how thirsty Mel B is these days.

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Terry Crews spoke about his own #MeToo experience back in October when he ALLEGED WME agent Adam Venit grabbed his crotch at a party in 2016. While a lot of folks gave Terry props for speaking up, others were not happy he was talking and now, erry says, he’s paying for speaking up.

Crews is currently suing Adam Venit and WME for assault, battery, sexual battery, sexual harassment, gender violence, intentional infliction of emotional distress, breach of fiduciary duty, negligence and negligent retention and supervision, and this week he testified in front of the Senate Judiciary Committee on behalf of the proposed Sexual Assault Survivors’ Bill of Rights.

Crews also said he has faced retaliation for speaking out from Avi Lerner, producer of The Expendables franchise who ALLEGEDLY called Terry’s agent and warned of “trouble” unless he withdrew his civil suit against Adam Venit.

Sidenote: Avi Lerner himself has also recently been accused of sexual misconduct.

Well, Terry Crews refused to drop the suit, and now his role in The Expendables 4 has been cut even though he was in the first three films. Crews says:

“This same producer is under his own…investigation. Abusers protect abusers – and this is one thing I had to decide, whether I was going to draw the line on. Am I going to be a part of this or am I gonna take a stand, and there are projects I had to turn down.”

Originally, Crews never wanted to talk about or report what ALLEGEDLY happened to him because he thought he’d be “laughed out of” the police station or be blacklisted from Hollywood or that his career might suffer, but he chose to speak up upon being inspired and empowered by everyone else coming forward with their stories.

It’s also worth noting that Sylvester Stallone, star of The Expendables, is also currently being investigated for sexual assault and let’s not even discuss that other actor in the film, Mel Gibson.

Might be best for Crews to distance himself from predators and the films they make.

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Okay, way back in October 2016, Azealia Banks attended a party with rapper RZA at Russell Crowe’s hotel suite in Beverly Hills. 

An ALLEGEDLY drunk Azealia was thrown out after getting violent with other guests, but she’s always said that Crowe ejected her from the party by choking her, spitting on her, and calling her the n-word.

Crowe was never charged, but Azealia Banks doesn’t care about that; now she wants to sue only she doesn’t have the coins and so …wait for it … she’s started a GoFundMe campaign called “Sue Crowe for spitting on AB”:

“Russell Crowe spit on me at a party in 2016 and denied it, had a group of people gaslight me causing irreparable damage to my acting career and my reputation as well as loads of emotional damage. Whatever money comes of this will be donated to ocean clean up charities.

This isn’t about a big pay day for me, it’s about letting the world know that black women are victims to the same sort of disgusting violence men in Hollywood deal out to women and it’s important to send a message that black women also deserve justice and will get justice in these situations. Crowe called me a nigger, choked me, and spat on me…if I were a white singer he wouldn’t have even thought about laying a finger on me. So many things like this happen in the entertainment industry and it’s time that ALL these perpetrators get reprimanded so they STOP this violent behavior!!”

Azealia has a goal of $100,000, and she’s already got $2,043.

I think maybe she start a campaign money to see a shrink because this girl has issues with just about everyone in the world and yet it’s never her fault.

Look inward, Azealia. It’s you.

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Scarlett Johansson wants y’all to know that she never ever auditioned for the role of Tom Cruise’s real-life girlfriend so stop saying that.

See, after Tommy Grrrl’s beard contract with Penelope Cruz expired, the loons at $cientology HQ set out to find him a girlfriend who’d embrace the ramblings of L. Ron Hubbard—unlike non-zombies Nicole Kidman and Cruz—and Scarlett’s name came up.

Rumor has it that $cientology held an “audition” in 2004 that included ScarJo and now an ex-employee of Co$ spilled the tea to Megyn Kelly that he saw ScarJo’s name on a report about the “Girlfriend Auditions” and ScarJo is full-on angry at the idea.

Brendan Tighe, formerly part of Tommy’s security detail, says a report of the “audition” was accidentally sent to his printer and he remembers ScarJo’s name because it’s the only one he recognized. He also says $cientologist Erika Christensen had to stop being friends with ScarJo because her audition was a flop:

“Another actress, Erika Christensen, had to disconnect from Scarlett Johansson because it didn’t go well. That was in that report.”

Now Scarlett is speaking up:

“The very idea of any person auditioning to be in a relationship is so demeaning. I refuse for anyone to spread the idea that I lack the integrity to choose my own relationships. Only a man aka Brendan Tighe would come up with a crazy story like that.”

Funny that, because Scarlett Johansson didn’t feel it at all demeaning to play the role of an Asian woman on film or to dine with Woody Allen and call him a man of “integrity” so I’m not sure how much I believe Miss J.

Just sayin’.

Still, Tommy eventually settled on Katie Holmes and we all know how that turned out, so ScarJo should feel relieved her audition tanked.

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Camille Grammer has always been one of my favorite Housewives and this week Camille spilled the tea on how ex-husband Kelsey Grammer treats her. She claims that ever since he opened up a bank vault and let her carry out as much cash as she could, he acts like she no longer exists. Though they have two children together he refuses to speak to Camille personally and has all conversations channeled through lawyers.

Seriously. This week, Kelsey did an interview and couldn’t stop talking about how his current wife, Kayte Walsh, is a perfect angel and helps him so much with taking care of his three children who are all under the age of six and, well, Camille had some words to share via Twitter:

“I don’t begrudge him his happiness. What’s unnerving is that fact I was there to help him get through some of his hardships and supported his career and his sobriety. I was right by his side and he acts like I never existed that’s disappointing. We were together through his success I was there during the writers’ strike and the cancellation of Back to You. We moved the company to our home in Malibu. I sat at his bedside for 8 days straight while he was in the cardiac intensive care unit in NYC. I read him poetry and helped washed his hair. Now I don’t exist. We have two beautiful children from our union and I was blessed to have shared those years of my life with him. We have both moved on. Just wished it ended in a more civil manner.”

Well, you know, Kelsey has been married a slew of times, so Camille had to have known it wouldn’t work for long. Still, she gave up Kelsey Grammer and ended up with silver fox David Meyer.

That’s what I call marrying up.

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Broadway's We Are The World: Step Up, Speak Up ....

I Didn't Say It ....

Stephen Colbert, on Sarah Huckleberry Sanders getting the boot from the Red Hen:

 “What do you mean you treat everybody with respect? You work for Donald _____. You don’t even treat yourself with respect. Denying service to people you disagree with is a slippery slope. Because pretty soon, we would just have liberal-only restaurants and conservative restaurants, and it’ll be a nightmare finding a place where your whole family can eat. Restaurant workers, you don’t have to kick out Sarah Huckabee Sanders. Just treat her the same way she treats her customers. Only take the order of the two people at the table you like. Then tell Sanders, ‘I’m not going to comment on whether or not this dish contains peanuts.’ And then when the food never arrives, just say ‘I haven’t talked to the chef about that yet. So I can’t give you any new information. I’ll be back at 2:45 tomorrow with a completely different menu that you can’t order from.”

I like this line of thought.

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Jeanine Pirro, _____ puppet, on her Fox “News” show, about Huckleberry being denied service and Kirstjen Nielsen being booed from a restaurant:

“Political debate at the very heart of the founding of this country has devolved into political harassment and outright political abuse. Sarah Huckabee Sanders, the White House press secretary, one of the most of prestigious jobs in Washington, D.C., out to dinner, places her order and is then told to leave by the owner because she works for the president of the United States. Sarah quietly leaves. The Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen this week was literally screamed and heckled out of a restaurant while eating her dinner. _____ supporters are being harassed all across this country by a hysterical left unwilling to accept the decision and the will of the American people who put Donald _____ in office. These unhinged leftists are normalizing outrageous behavior which is only getting worse.”

Actually, Jeanine, you ass, more people voted for anyone but _____ than voted for him, so the will of the people is non-_____.

And people are just exercising their rights to Free Speech by booing Nielsen, and their rights to discriminate and deny service, which is a thing this White House likes.

You snowflakes just don’t like it when it’s aimed at you.

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Orrin Hatch, Republican Senator from Utah, calling for inclusion for LGBTQ youth:

“Mr. President, if there were ever a time to show our LGBT friends just how much we love them, it is now. In a world where millions suffer in silence, we owe it to each other to love loudly. That’s why I am a strong supporter of Utah’s Love Loud Festival, among many other efforts to combat suicide and improve mental health in the LGBT community. These young men and women deserve to feel loved, cared for, and accepted for who they are.  They deserve to know that they belong, and that our society is stronger because of them. Mr. President, ensuring that our LGBT friends feel loved and accepted is not a political issue; we all have a stake in this. We all have family or loved ones who have felt marginalized in one way or another because of gender identity or sexual orientation—and we need to be there for them.”

Oh, that’s so nice, but this is the same Orrin Hatch who voted to confirm Ben Carson and Betsy DeVos, who both have clear records of opposing LGBTQ equality and who have since used their positions to dismantle protections for transgender people.

Hatch is also a co-sponsor of the so-called “First Amendment Defense Act” [FADA], which would create a religious license to discriminate against LGBTQ people. And just last week, he “applauded” the Supreme Court’s ruling in the Masterpiece Cakeshop case.

Words are nice, but his deeds speak volumes.

Siddown.

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Tim Cook, Apple CEO, on inequality and why he came out as gay:

“Many of the problems of the world come down to the lack of equality. It’s the fact that it’s the kid who is born in one ZIP code doesn’t have a good education because he happens to be born in that ZIP code. It’s someone who is maybe in the LGBT community who is fired because of that. It’s someone who has a different religion than the majority and are therefore ostracized in some way. If one day you could wave a wand and everybody would treat each other with dignity and respect, there are many, many problems that would go away with that….I [came out] for a greater purpose. I realized there were a lot of kids out there that were not being treated very well—including in their own families. Kids need someone to say ‘oh, they did okay in life, and they’re gay, so it must not be a life sentence in some kind of way.’ We’re getting these notes… it would tug on my heart even more, and it got to the point, and it got to the point where I thought, I’m making the wrong call, by trying to do something that is comfortable for me, which is to stay private. I needed to do something for the greater good.”

Every coming out is for the greater good because every coming out helps someone else along the path.

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Jimmy Fallon, about _____’s reaction to Fallon’s saying he never should have humanized Hair Furor by tousling his hair:

“As you may have heard, the President of the United States went after me on Twitter. So Melania, if you’re watching, I don’t think your anti-bullying campaign is working. He said I called and said, ‘Monster ratings.’ First of all, I’ve never called this human in my life. I don’t have his number, I don’t want his number. I’ve never said ‘monster ratings.’ I don’t know what he’s talking about. By the way, Donald, I don’t know if you’ve seen my ratings the past two years, you didn’t help my ratings. But, really, thanks a lot. Thanks for nothing.”

Thanks for nothing is right.

Still, Fallon has taken a long time to finally speak out against this regime.

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Jerry Seinfeld, on Roseanne getting fired for her racist mouth:

“I didn’t see why it was necessary to fire her. Why would you murder someone who’s committing suicide? But I never saw someone ruin their entire career with one button push. That was fresh. I think they should get another Roseanne. They brought Dan Conner back, he was dead and they brought him back. So, why can’t we get another Roseanne? There’s other funny women that could do that part. You need to get the comic in there. I hate to see a comic lose a job.”

A comedian didn’t lose her job; a racist did.

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Rant Mode: Civility and SCOTUS and Voting

Gosh, this has been a week, eh?

I love being schooled on the idea of civility by a party, and a president, that would have trouble spelling, much less defining, civility. But, here's my take ....

I am not for businesses refusing to serve Republicans. I’m not; sue me.

But I come from a people that have been denied the most basic of rights, the right to simply be, the right to love, the right to work, the right to live, live, goddammit, for eons, and so I won't deny people the right to a meal.

Now, that doesn't mean if I run across a _____ supporter, or god forbid, one of his co-criminal and conspirators, I won't raise my voice against them. 

I'd call Sarah Sanders a liar faster than she could say, "{Where's my sammich?"

I'd call Mitch McConnell a pandering fuck, quicker than he could pull his head back into his shell.

I'd call Junior a criminal and a traitor sooner than he can add another bucket of grease to his hair.

But, when businesses start denying service to people based on their political affiliation, or their political position, then what's to say they won't do the same to us?

I don't want that. I want my Free Speech, and as long as I have it I'll use it.

Now ... SCOTUS.

Damn you, Anthony Kennedy for retiring now and allowing _____ the power to appoint your successor. I understand you wanted a Republican president to name your replacement, but this isn't a Republican president. This is a traitor. A Bigot, A racist., A criminal, using the office of president to line his pockets. He cages children and then blames someone else. He sets Americans against each other, He's trying to destroy the Free Press. He bans people based on the color of their skin, unless they’re from Saudi Arabia--where the 9/11hijackers came from--because Saudi Arabia gave him a butt-load of cash.

So, damn you, Anthony Kennedy, for doing this to us. Damn you.

Now, how do we fight this, because we can fight this.

Vote. Cast a goddamned vote.

We won the last election; the Democrats. More of us voted for Her than voted for Him. But a great many of us sat home because they were hurt it wasn't Bernie; or they cast a vote for Jill Stein as a way of protest.

How's that working out for you, Susan Sarandon?

Sure, Hillary may not have been the perfect choice, but if anyone who votes Blue doesn't think she would have been far and away better than what we have now, I dare you to speak up.

So, again, vote.

Vote out the GOP because they have stood by and allowed, and abetted, this lunatic to erase healthcare, to lock up children, to incite hate, to call racists "good people," to demonize immigrants, to ignore and demean our allies while kissing up to a man who wouldn't adhere to an agreement if his life depended on it, to, if not work with, at the very least stand by and do nothing while Russia meddled in our elections.

So, yeah, every single vote counts and y'all better get off your asses and do it, before this country completely disappears.

Cast a goddamned vote!

Bobservations

There are times when I fell the universe conspire against me and last Sunday night was no exception.

Somebody up there doesn’t like me.

It all began when we had a bad storm come through without warning. The winds whipped, the rains fell, a tree came down across the driveway; and the power went out at about 8PM.

Carlos and I sat in romantic battery-powered candlelight for a couple of hours before deciding to just go to bed. I had not been feeling well …a Summer cold exacerbated by the fact that our AC broke one day last week and the house was 91 degrees inside when we got home; that was an easy fix, and all was cool the next day.

But now, on Sunday, I have a fever, the power is out, there is no AC and no ceiling fans, and I can’t sleep. I’m thinking about the food in the refrigerator and how it’s going bad with each hour without power; I’m hearing to dog whimper because he needs to go out; I hear Carlos snoring, fast asleep and wonder how long it will take him to stop if I hold a pillow over his face; I think about how late it’s getting and how I’ll be so tired the next day.

In other words, I can’t sleep. At all.

Around 2AM I get up and get a washcloth; I dampen it with cold water and get back into bed, laying it across my forehead to beat the heat in my head. It’s starting to work … I’m getting tired, my mind is not racing, I don’t hear the dog, I don’t care about the fridge. I …am … just … about …to … fall … asleep ….

The power comes back on and all the lights that went off are now back on and for some reason the stereo received connected to the TV has come on and is blaring that static noise at a volume you might hear on an airplane runway. I bolt upright and jump out of bed. I run through the house turning off lights and turning off receivers and quieting the dog.

In the distance, down the hallway, I see a shadow of the man I love, rubbing his eyes, and asking:

“Is the power back on?”

I reach for that pillow.

Sometimes I just have to shake my head … twenty-three-year-old Kansas man, Ryan Malek, was arrested and charged with lewd and lascivious behavior for his repeated attempts to have sex with …

… the tailpipe of a parked car.

Local police answered a 911 call about a man underneath a vehicle and arrived on scene to find Malek trying to put his penis into the tailpipe of a car.

Malek, whose blood alcohol content topped out at more than four times the legal limit, continued trying to have sex with the tailpipe in the presence of officers until they used a taser to stop the vehicular sexual assault.

Like I said, I’m shaking my head.

In a Tuesday Thought I mentioned #PermitPatty, AKA Alison Ettel, the woman who called police on 8-year-old Jordan Rogers, a San Francisco girl, hoping to sell water to baseball fans in front of her apartment building.

Erin Austin, Jordan’s mother, captured it on her cell phone and posted it to Instagram. Ettel, who can be seen on her phone calling police, tries to hide when she realizes she’s being recorded.

Now known virally as #PermitPatty, Ettel has been described as not unlike so-called #BBQBecky, the woman who called police on a black family having a cookout in an Oakland park.

Ettel claims she politely asked Jordan to sell the water more quietly:

“Please, I’m trying to work. You’re screaming, you’re yelling.”

But then why not call the police for disturbing the peace? Why call the police because Jordan was selling water?

Oh yeah, racism.

Poor Sarah Huckleberry Sanders. The White House Press Secretary Liar, says she was asked to leave the Red Hen restaurant in Virginia, because …

“Last night I was told by the owner of Red Hen in Lexington, VA to leave because I work for @POTUS and I politely left. Her actions say far more about her than about me. I always do my best to treat people, including those I disagree with, respectfully and will continue to do so”

Awful; but now she knows how gay couples feel when someone won’t bake them a cake for their wedding … something her boss endorses.

Now she knows how it feels to be a transgender American and told you are not allowed to serve in the military …something her boss endorses.

Now she knows how it feels to be Muslim in America, Mexican in America, and Black in America and work for a man who thinks those folks are less than.

Take a seat, Sarah, there’s always Chick-fil-A.

Stephanie Wilkinson, owner of the Red Hen, explains why she booted Huckleberry: anti-gay and anti-trans bias in this White House.

Several Red Hen employees are gay and knew Sanders has defended Trump’s desire to bar transgender people from the military. Wilkinson asked them to tell her what to do and they all agreed she should be asked to leave.

And Wilkinson says she’d do it again.

Now, to be fair, I am no fan of any discrimination, but when you work for such a racist, transphobic, homophobic, anti-Muslim boss, you kinda get what you deserve.

Remember when Ivanka _____ Tweeted about how much of an ally she was to the LGBTQ community?

Yeah, that was a lie. I mean, go figure.

Last week Complicit gave a $50,000 personal donation to Pastor Jack Graham of the Prestonwood Baptist Church; Graham is a member of _____’s Religious Advisory Council and has a long history of anti-LGBT activism:

In 2014, Graham worked to repeal a non-discrimination ordinance in Plano, Texas.

In 2015, Graham lashed at out the Supreme Court for marriage equality.

In 2016, just before the election, Graham stood by after the “pussy groping” remarks.

In 2017, following the deadly “Unite the Right” rally in Charlottesville, Graham stood by _____ even after Hair Furor claimed that there were “fine people” among the white nationalists.

And now he’s got Ivanka’s support.

Ivanka? Kindly fuck off.

Womp. Womp.

Former _____ campaign manager Corey Lewandowski has been dropped by his speaker’s bureau after dismissing the story of a 10-year-old girl with Down syndrome who was reportedly separated from her mother after crossing the border illegally.

After his idiotic remarks, Leading Authorities, Inc., one of DC’s top speaker’s bureaus, severed ties with Lewandowski and his name no longer appears on the bureau’s website.

Womp.Womp.

Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane is rich and outspoken, and works for Fox. But that didn’t stop him from taking a swing at Fox News after Tucker Carlson had advised viewers not to believe anything they hear or see on a rival networks’ news program about the separation of immigrant families and to believe that Fox News is always telling the truth.

MacFralane Tweeted:

“This is fringe shit, and it’s business like this that makes me embarrassed to work for this company.”

And then he put his money where his mouth is and donated $2 million to support NPR’s Collaborative Journalism Network and another $500,000 to NPR’s membership station in Los Angeles, KPCC.

Nice. Now if he’d just take his show off Fox and hit them in the wallet.

The Cher Show, the musical based on Cher’s life starring three Chers … three Chers … (at different points in her life, is currently trying out in Chicago before heading to Broadway and this week the real Cher.

After the show, a reporter asked what she thought and, well, Cher being Cher, gave her thoughts:

“Some parts of it are really fabulous. We’re going to work on the other parts. In many parts, it was much, much better than I thought it would be. And there were no parts where I wanted to gouge my eyes out. It needs work. I’m not supposed to say that but I don’t care.”

Listen, it’s Cher, bitches, and she ain’t playing. Fix the parts that bored her or face the wrath of Cher and Cher fans.

Consider yourselves warned.

This past weekend we watched Man in An Orange Shirt on PBS’ Masterpiece. It’s the tale of two love stories, sixty years apart, that charts the changes and challenges in gay lives in England—from the era of jail terms to the onset of dating apps. It was beautifully shot, and sweet and sad and heartbreaking and hopeful and, naturally, had some hotties.

Oliver Jackson-Cohen [above]—whom I have featured here before, and who reminds me of a Brit Armie Hammer—played half the love interest in a story set in the days after WWII when being gay was a criminal offense.

The second story starred Julian Morris, below, as the Jackson-Cohen character’s gay grandson and his path through dating apps to finding love with Steven, played by David Gyasi, bottom. 

Like I said, sweet, sad, heartbreaking, hopeful. And hot.

Just sayin’.