I Ain't One To Gossip But .....

Oops, sorry Gwyneth, no one really cares.

Gwyneth Paltrow, who is delusional enough to believe anything GOOP touches turns to gold, was just smacked down, and it feels good.

It seems that the Go-Go’s musical Paltrow produced, Head Over Heels, is closing January 6 after struggling at the box office; it played just 188 times. And this Broadway GOOP debacle comes at the same time that overall ticket sales are booming; Paltrow’s show posted a weekly gross of more than $300,000 just twice during its run, and often played to less than half capacity.

Perhaps if she’d called it GOOP Over Heels and charged an arm-and-a-leg to get in? Nope, it still would have crashed.

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Update on the Paris Hilton-Chris Zylka engagement ring saga.

She’s keeping the ring because, well, we all knew this already, she paid for it. Chris couldn’t afford it and probably would have gone the Cubic Zylka route. 

Just sayin’.

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Years after making her name by doing porn, Kim Kardastrophe is now saying she was in a drug-induced state that caused to strip naked, spread her legs, raise her heels to Jesus and do the nasty for the cameras. KK says ecstasy is the reason she made her sex tape with Ray J, and ecstasy is why she married her first husband Damon Thomas.

No drug-related reasons were given for her subsequent marriages or nude antics.

Kim has been selling her body for publicity for well over a decade now, and now wants people to believe it all started because of a wild time? Well, I’m not buying it, though I’m sure it made for a Very Special Episode of Keeping Up With The Kardastrophes.

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Methinks singer Shawn Mendes doth protest too much.

As is the case with every cute boy singer, people suspect that Mendes is a big old homo. And when he posted to social media in 2016 that he was most definitely not gay, that only added fuel to the Homosexual Fire.

Now, in an interview with Rolling Stone, Mendes said he’s obsessed  with what people say about his sexual orientation and so he’s working really hard at looking and acting more hetero.

He has changed the way he crosses his legs; seriously.

He regrets a video that appeared on social media of Taylor Swift applying glittery make-up to his face.

He says he had a panic attack while watching Love, Simon—about a young man coming out of the closet—and ran from the theater.

He says he needs to be photographed more with girls to show he’s not gay, but isn’t that just getting a beard?

And, oy, he does go on:

“So I don’t usually do this or bring up problems but I was on YouTube just watching some of my interviews and I was going down the comments and noticed a lot of people were saying I gave them a “gay vibe”. First of all, I’m not gay. Second of all, it shouldn’t made a difference if I was or if I wasn’t. The focus should be on the music and not my sexuality. Now I know 99% of you guys aren’t making assumptions like this but this is for the 1% of you that are. I just want you guys before you judge someone on the way they speak or act to think, I want you guys to think ‘hey, maybe I shouldn’t be judging someone’ or ‘wait it actually doesn’t even matter.’ They can do or be or feel however they want to feel. Now I’m not frustrated because people were saying that I was gay at all, I have no problem with that cause it wouldn’t make a difference to me. I’m frustrated because in this day and age people have the audacity to…write online that I’m gay as if it were a bad thing. That’s all I really have to say about that. I just wish those 1% of people would grow up. I love you guys.”

Like I said, methinks he doth protest too much.

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I’d always wondered why Kim Cattrall said ‘No’ to a third Sex and the City movie; sure, there’s that whole Sarah Jessica Parker shiz to deal with, but was there more? Was it the sexting with a child sub-plot?

We know that Big was to die so the film could have been all about Carrie the Widow, as opposed to Carrie the Serial Dater, Carrie the Jilted Bride and Carrie the Wife, but now there’s the story about Cattrall’s character, Samantha Jones, sexting with the 15-year-old son of Cynthia Nixon’s character, Miranda.

Yes, Samantha would have been looking at dick pics of Little Brady Hobbs.

I guess it wasn’t enough for SJP to have Samantha getting fat, or going through menopause, or running around naked and horny in a Muslim country, she wanted to make Samantha a pseudo-pedophile?

Not today Satan SJP.

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It was just a hot minute ago that we discussed Kim Kardastrophe’s newest ALLEGATION that she was high on ecstasy when she married the first time and when she made her porn debut.

But, Ray J, her porn co-star is saying, ‘Hold up, Big Ass, that’s a lie.’

Sources close to Ray J, which really means Ray J, say Kim hadn’t taken any drugs or had any alcohol during the filming; she did, however, smoke weed from a penis-shaped pipe; she’s classy like that.

As for Kim’s claim that she was high on ecstasy because, and she really said this, her “jaw was shaking,” the source says her mouth was trembling because she was getting “f**ked hard.”

Ray J is more than a little miffed because he says she was totally on-board before, during, and after—when her mother, That Woman, whored out the sex tape for coins and fame—filming.

Yeah, that sounds about right.

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Y’all remember that Les Moonves stepped down as CEO and chairman of CBS after being exposed by Ronan Farrow  for being an ALLEGED sexual harasser? Well, CBS launched an “internal investigation” and, depending on how it went, Moonves could end up with a $120 million severance package; AKA Perv Go Away coins. But now it looks like he may end up with zip …zilch … nada after another ALLEGATION that he covered up a rape.

Talent manager Marv Dauer  once managed an aspiring actress named Bobbie Phillips, and in 1995, he sent her to meet with Moonves—president of Warner Bros. at the time—to discuss the possibility of future TV appearances.

According to Bobbie, it didn’t take long before Les promised her the moon if she’d first thank him in the biblical sense, but before he could, um, finish, Moonves got a call and she ran out of the room. Marv says Bobbie told him Moonves had violated her, and she stopped acting and left the business.

But, recently, Bobbie decided to get back into acting, and Marv decided to represent her again. Marv had heard about that exposé on Moonves, so he called him up  and asked if there was any way he could get Bobbie some work—as a kind of sorry I sexually violated you, but here’s a gig on The Big Bang Theory. Moonves agreed, but said:

“I think I’ll be ok. But if Bobbie talks, I’m done.”

Bobbie was furious that Marv went to Moonves, but wasn’t going to the press until Moonves wen to the media himself and said:

“I strongly believe that the sexual encounter with Ms. Phillips more than 20 years ago was consensual.”

And that pissed Bobbie off, so now she’s happily talking, and that’s where it appears Moonves might lose his big package, severance package, because clearly the man has a tiny … Anyway, Moonves and Marv were texting about the sexual assault and what happened between Les and Bobbie, as well as talking about keeping her quiet in exchange for acting roles, and that could be seen as a coverup, a very bad thing when you’re being investigated for various allegations of misconduct.

I’m’a just say this: take away all his coins. Any man who uses his position of power to assault anyone should be seated next to Bill Cosby in the Attica dining hall while Julie Chen Moonves waits to visit.

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Since we’ve had a field day with Kim Kardastrophe, let’s throw her insane husband, Kanye Kardastrophe into the mix as well, and discuss her fat ass and his fat ego, and their utter lack of anything resembling intelligence or concern for the planet.

Kim claims to be Kanye’s “muse” and often travels with him to help him promote his various ego projects, but Kim also likes to show off her life of excess and idiocy and this last trip was no exception.

Kim and Kanye traveled overseas on a private 747 with about twelve people on board; twelve people on a plane that seats 660 passengers, plus a full crew, but it was just a few sycophants, Kim’s ass and Kanye’s ego, flying on a plane that could have held 55-times as many people as they chose.

I understand they have the money, and he has the ego, and she loves to show off her excessive, stupid, mind-numbingly idiotic behavior on social media, but this is just plain irresponsible.

And stupid; and fat-assed, and egotistical.

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