Saturday, August 04, 2018

It's Snarkurday!

Oh, the Racism Valet stories continue to happen, and not just to black people in parks, or stores, or Starbucks, but to celebrities at their own homes.

Apparently Ving Rhames was minding his own business, entering his own home, when one of his white neighbors saw him and called the police.

Seriously. Rhames had arrived at his home, earlier this year, and heard a knock at the door and, well, he’ll tell you:
“I open the door and there is a red dot pointed at my face from a 9-mm, and they say, ‘Put up your hands.’ Literally.”
He was removed from his own home and taken outside where the situation could have gotten worse but for the fact that one police officer recognized him … not as an actor, but as a parent with a son who played basketball at Rhame’s son’s rival high school. And that’s what scared Rhames most of all:
“What if it was my son and he had a video game remote or something, and you thought it was a gun. Just like, I don’t know, Trayvon had a bag of Skittles.”
According to police, one of Rhames’ neighbors called 911 to report a “large black man” breaking into the actor’s home, except the large black man owned the mother**king home; and when police escorted Rhames to the neighbor’s house to clear things up, she denied even placing the call.

Bitch, please. Someone could have been hurt, or worse, because this woman saw a scary black man, once again, going into his own home!
Rumor has it that Britney Spears and her boyfriend Sam Asghari are about to get hitched, making him the third Mr. Spears …after KFed and that drunk guy she married in Vegas for two days before having it annulled.

‘I don’t really care about this story other than I get to post a picture of Sam Asghari.


photo 12345
No good can come of this, but apparently one Tiffany _____, the daughter the president never mentions, has a new BFF in one jailbird named Lindsay Lohan.

The two were spotted in Mykonos together where Lohan was helping Tiffany fix her ponytail.

Of course, Lohan apparently has a new reality show for MTV about the “club” she opened in Mykonos, so maybe Tiffany, the aspiring pop star or Georgetown law student, depending on who you ask, was making a guest appearance.

Hot messes.
Speaking of that family, and I don’t mean the Lohan’s, I mean the other one, rumor has it that Junior’s new side-piece, Kimberly Guilfoyle was let go from her “position” at Fox News for being a terrorist.

Now, Kimberly’s team is trying to make it seem like she left because she wanted to campaign with the _____’s, but a source said she didn’t leave Fox News on her own. The network reportedly launched a year-long investigation into what Kimberly was up to and found that she had a habit of showing dick pics—wait, does she have a dick?—to her co-workers, talked about her sex life with Oil Slick Jr. and emotionally abused the hair and makeup people … which may explain her appearance.

Wow, she sounds like a perfect _____. Except she’s a dick pic’er, not a pussy groper.
So, the Countess Drunkess Luann de Lesseps will serve absolutely no jail time for having sex in the wrong hotel room, being a belligerent drunk in public, assaulting a police officer, threatening to murder a police officer and for recording Money Can’t Buy You Class … a “song” that was accused of murdering the ear drums of countless people around the globe.

She got the “Lohan Treatment” and was and sentenced to probation and a few hours of community service in which she will search the internet for all signs of her music and have it scrubbed. Before all that could be accomplished, though, Luann checked herself back into rehab because Money Can Buy You Vodka.

Y’all remember that Skinny Girl Frankel released a statement on Luann’s return to treatment, but apparently, she spoke to soon, because after just a few weeks, Luann has released herself and left rehab. She will return to the cabaret circuit and continue her one-woman show where she destroys the hearing of entire audiences and seek treatment on an out-patient basis …as in the patient is out in a bar.

Just sayin’.
Oh, the horror! Another rich white person wants y’all to know that being rich and white and on Fox News is hurting their lives.

First, we had Alan Dershowitz claiming that being shunned at Martha’s Vineyard parties because he wrote a book about not impeaching _____ was akin to McCarthyism and a major civil rights issue, but now one Melissa Francis, an on-air “talent” for Fox Business, has stepped forward to tell her tale of woe.

Francis blonde and interviews Republicans, so it’s hard to figure out which one she is on Fox, but she is a proud _____-supporting fool and sis now suffering the consequences.

Francis recently took to Twitter to accuse her local country club of shunning her family, suggesting she was targeted because of her political views. Francis claims that even though she’s a member of Siwanoy, a posh Bronxville, New York establishment, she can’t get a table there for dinner:
“We are member of Siwanoy Bronxville but somehow, they can’t fit us in for dinner. Repeatedly. I’m sure it’s a coincidence and not something more. Right?”
Francis concluded with several hashtags:
“#Never_____ers #cnn #HillaryForever?”
I don’t get the CNN hashtag, or the Hillary Forever one, but, yeah, Never _____ers? Serves you right. Maybe she and Colonel Sarah Huckleberry Sanders can head down to the Chic-fil-A and share a basket of wings?

Seriously, Ving Rhames is getting the police called on him because he’s black and owns a home and this privileged whit b*tch is complaining because she can’t get a table at her country club?

Take a seat you entitled cow.


Mistress Maddie said...

Britney these days has really calmed down from what I hear. And the luscious Sam Asghari probably has something to do with that. She won't do better than him. The hot Willie Gomez is also a good friend of her, maybe he had influence over this.

the dogs' mother said...

Seems like old days with Ms. Lohan in the news!

anne marie in philly said...

BIGLY buncha loser garbage today, bob! aren't you glad we are just normal everyday nothing-to-see-here schlubs!

Deedles said...

Do police usually knock on the door of a home they think someone has broken into? Were they waiting for him to escape out the back so they could shoot him? Am I getting paranoid? Being black while owning a house, the audacity! It's a good thing I accidently marked the White race box when purchasing our home. I am, for the most part, mixed and Balder Half still laughs and says I did it on purpose.
I love Ving Rhames!

Raybeard said...

Just returned from Brighton Pride (Phewwwww! Hot! - and that's just the weather!). It's now the largest such in the country, becoming even bigger than London's. The parade itself is free to watch or join in, but the ensuing events in a park can only be attended by showing of advance purchase tickets - this year's BIG main attraction, an appearance by none other than the one and unique.....(drumroll, please!)......Miss BRRRRRRRRITNEY SPEARS! Yes! Advance ticket prices a snip at £38 (= just over $50), for admin costs of event only, the artistes themselves appearing out of the 'goodness' of their hearts. Just thought I'd mention it - and as I write this Ms Spears is prob'ly at this moment getting all sweaty in her act - AND she's got to sing later, poor thing!

Helen Lashbrook said...

Are the Drumpfists afraid that Hillary might run again with this Hillary carryon? I trust not as I cannot see her bringing onboard the independents and those who cannot make their minds up; not to mention the greens who I trust will not run a presidential nominee in 2020 given the muck up with Putrid loving Jill Stein. If she'd backed off we wouldn't have this Drumpf mess; we'd have wooden Hillary who at least would not be scaring the world every five minutes

BootsandBraids said...

With KFed constantly going after every dollar Britney makes, she can't take the chance on what another husband (no matter how handsome he is) will want when the time comes he wants out.

Leanna said...

It's like the 1950's all over again. Just what the republicunts want.

JP said...

I wonder what Britney sees in him? Er, Dah-hu!

Bob said...

That's it exactly!

Anonymous said...

Dumpsters should be shunned by all thinking and moral people. Some behavior is beyond the pale. Yes you do have freedom of speech and association, but so do the others. Money may buy you the club membership, but it cannot buy intelligence, decency or compassion. Look in the mirror dear, maybe they just really, really don't like you.

Dave R said...

Melissa Francis is a hoot!! Someone should tell her it's ill mannered to call for reservations 15 minutes before you arrive. Wonder if she says, "Hi, this is Melissa, I just interviewed Ivanka so I"m running late... oh, and I need the best table in the house."

And oh, Sammy, you do know she's a used bleach blonde, do you want my number?

Jim said...

Lindsay and Tiffany? Ummm, yeah. Whatever. Hot messes is absolutely spot on with those two young ladies.