Thursday, April 19, 2018


So last week I told y’all that Carlos gave me a cold for my birthday, right? Well, by Monday I was so congested and my throat so sore, I couldn’t speak … and Carlos said:
“Yep, there’s my gift now.”
I whispered that he should be very afraid when the voice comes back.
In good LGBT news … this year, for the first time probably ever, major legislation curtailing LGBT rights has been completely stymied in state capitols around the country this year. And it’s mostly because those in the GOP have learned that being anti-LGBT doesn’t pay.

LGBT activists tracked about 120 proposed bills that were seen as threats to their civil rights and not one of them has been enacted as many sessions now wind down.

A key factor in the shift: In the GOP-led states where these types of bills surface, moderate GOP lawmakers and business leaders are wary of losing conventions, sporting events and corporate headquarters because of their anti-LGBT—mostly anti-trans ‘Bathroom Bills.

The only two anti-LGBT bills still active are the attempts to curtail adoption rights in Oklahoma and Kansas.

Seriously? Oklahoma and Kansas? Wake up and get with the rest of us in the 21st century.
So, this past week, rapper Kendrick Lamar won a Pulitzer for “Damn,” becoming the first hip hop artist to win the music Pulitzer. And, while that is cool news, one asshat, by the name of Geraldo Rivera, who never missed an opportunity to kiss his own ass, took some credit for the honor because in one of Lamar’s songs, he used a Rivera quote.

And so, Rivera Tweeted this mess:
Congratulations @kendricklamar a extraordinary talent on winning the #Pulitzer. Proud to have played a small, indirect role in inspiring such extraordinary creativity.”
Funny thing is that the quote Lamar sampled on his album was Jerry Rivers Geraldo Rivera saying:
“This is why I say that hip-hop has done more damage to young African-Americans than racism in recent years.”
Snap. Geraldo has no idea that his stupidity, and ignorance, were sampled.

Take a seat, grandpa.
Last month, when Dick’s Sporting Goods said it would no longer sell modern sporting rifles at its stores following the shooting at Marjorie Stoneman Douglas high School a lot of folks wondered what would happen to the unsold firearms in its inventory.

Wonder no more: while, normally, a retailer might return unsold merchandise to the manufacturer., in this case Dick’s Sporting Goods has decided to destroy them:
“We are in the process of destroying all firearms and accessories that are no longer for sale as a result of our February 28th policy change. We are destroying the firearms in accordance with federal guidelines and regulations.”
I love learning new words and then trying them out on people and this week was a great week for a new one. I first heard the word when former CIA director John O. Brennan tweeted at _____:
“Your kakistocracy is collapsing after its lamentable journey.”
So, what is a “kakistocracy”? Searches for the kakistocracy surged to the top of Merriam-Webster, who issued a short explainer:

Kakistos is Greek for “worst,” so kakistocracy means government by the worst people.

Yup, it works.

Kakistocracy; use it.
When you lie about everything it’s easy to get caught … like last when White House Press Secretary Liar Sarah Huckabee Sanders Tweeted that photo of the Situation Room following the military strike on Syria with _____ and his minions, including So-Not-Gay Veep Mike Pence and said:
“Last night the President put our adversaries on notice: when he draws a red line he enforces it.”
Trouble was, the night of the bombing Mike Pence was in Peru so how could he be in the two places at once; Huckleberry was instantly called out, again, as a liar by Walter Shaub:
“Fascinating tweet in which Sarah Sanders reveals that Mike Pence was simultaneously in Peru and Washington. If this new capability doesn’t scare our enemies, nothing will. #QuantumEntanglementMike
Huckleberry then qualified her first lie:
“As I said, the President put our adversaries on notice that he enforces red lines with the strike on Syria Friday night. The photo was taken Thursday in the Situation Room during Syria briefing.”
“As I said” is what Huckleberry says when she’s fixing a lie.

Remember when _____ created a commission to investigate the voting “fraud” of the last election because his tiny ego refused to believe more people voted for Hillary? And he asked Kansas Secretary of State, and Republican, Kris Kobach to look into voter fraud and Kobach basically found nothing?

Kobach should’a looked in his own backyard because this week he was held in contempt of court for repeatedly skirting court orders related to a blocked state voter registration law.

U.S. District Judge Julie Robinson ripped Kobach, a proponent of stricter voting laws, a new asshole for failing to send postcards notifying thousands of voters of their registration. Those voters had previously been blocked from registering under a Kansas state law by Kobach because they were not able to provide proof of citizenship during registration. 

Judge Robinson blocked that law during the 2016 election:
"Kansans have come to expect these postcards to confirm their registration status, and Defendant [Kobach] ensured the Court on the record that they had been sent prior to the 2016 general election. They were not, and the fact that he sent a different notice to those voters does not wholly remove the contempt, nor does his attempt to resend postcards eighteen months after the election and five months after Plaintiffs notified him of the issue."
As part of the contempt ruling, Robinson ordered Kobach to pay the attorney’s fees of the plaintiff in the case, the American Civil Liberties Union.

Yup, another fraud, cheat and liar on the _____ team.

What to do … what to do … oh yeah ….

I gotta a quick joke for you: what is the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?

Give up?
_____ never had a garbanzo bean on his face.
Now …there’s a new show on Bravo, a kind of riff on the Real Housewives franchises … which is saying a lot because all shows on Bravo are kind of a riff on the Housewives … but this one is called Southern Charm: New Orleans.

It’s about a bunch of wannabees in the Big Easy acting like fools on camera, but… seeing one of the promos for the show, I was suddenly struck by one abs-oh-so-lutley ripped Jon Moody, who never misses a chance to take his shirt off.

Thank the goddess.

Moody is a well-known, and well-respected artist and I have already asked to sit with him.

No, not for him. I wanna sit in his studio and watch him paint when he’s dressed like this …

Just sayin’.


Debra She Who Seeks said...

Oh, that garbanzo bean joke! LOL!

anne marie in philly said...

naughty carlos!

that bean joke - bwhahahahahahaha!

Jon Moody - YASSSSSSSSSSSS, gurl!

mistress maddie said...

That tweet sums it up about just right!

Yes...we can get behind a ripped hot painter can't we...or under one.

And I never thought I'd like Dicks so much!!!

Helen Lashbrook said...

Don't hold your breath; even now the NRA is probably getting ready to sue to stop Dick's destroying those firearms. But in the meantime all kudos to them

Deedles said...

Ya gotta love Carlos' wicked streak.
That garbanzo bean joke is a real pisser! Don't know what that means exactly but it sounds good :)

the dogs' mother said...

Maybe I should go to the Regional Art Show this year! :-)

Deedles said...

Kakistocracy= A bunch of white dudes in tan pants with white polo shirts holding tiki torches and spouting seriously stupid stuff. At least that's what I picture when I see this word.

I really don't think it took the destroying of guns for Maddie to realize he really, really likes Dick's . He seems to be a rabid enthusiast. Not that there's anything wrong with that :)

Dave R said...

Dick's is Great!

Geraldo's as real as that rug on his head.

The most shocking thing about the Situation Room photo is there are notebooks on, and tablets, and pens on the table... who'd have thunk.

Kris Kobach who? His commission was shut down before he could order his $43,000 phone booth.

And that Tweet of the Week is spot on.

Cranky and Difficult said...

WOW this is an amazing post! Your blog is absolutely amazing!! /me gets inspired!