Thursday, April 12, 2018


Last weekend was Carlos’ birthday, and I asked him to pick a favorite restaurant for a celebratory dinner; he thought and thought, and then he said this …
“I was thinking of a few things we could do for my birthday …”
“Like what?”
“Well, we could get up early and take the recycling to the recycling center …”
Yes, he was talking garbage. Now, he had thoughts on some other ways to spend the day, but that was his first thought.

I almost put a candle on a garbage bag.

PS We never did have dinner because, for his birthday, he gave me a cold.

I know, right?
Oh, how the times have changed ... Little Mittsy Romney. It wasn’t so long ago that the two-time loser in the presidential campaign said, of _____, that he’s a "fraud" and "phony" whose words and actions are “degrading” to women, and whose policies would trigger a recession, make America less safe and foster an era of "trickle-down racism."

Now that Mittsy wants to be the next Utah Senator, he now says he supports much of what the president has done such as cutting taxes, rolling back business regulations and reducing the size of Bears Ears and Grand Staircase-Escalante national monuments in southern Utah.

When an audience member asked what Romney might say about _____ today, he replied:
“I look forward. I’m not going to look backward.”
You know, cuz looking back shows what a hypocrite and a political hack Mitt Romney is.
So, Facebook … no privacy at all? Say whaaaaaaaaat? Fake news stories all over? Say whaaaaaaaaat?

Let me make this queer, if you believe you have privacy on Facebook, you’re a moron; and if you believe every story you read on Facebook, without checking it out first, then you must also believe kittens can play the guitar and newborns can recite the Gettysburg address.

Cuz that’s on Facebook, too.
Speaking of the Fat Bastard, in an interview with reporters aboard Air Force One, ______ denied knowing that his lawyer Michael Cohen made a $130,000 payment to hush porn star Stormy Daniels.

Oops. Stormy’s case is based on the idea that the confidentiality agreement is invalid because _____ was not a party to it and so by having the Fat Bastard say he was unaware of the monetary agreement, he basically confirmed that what Stormy says is true.

Seriously; let that man near a microphone and he’ll hang himself every time. I cannot wait for him to get into a room with Robert Mueller.
Rightwingnut and #FakeChristian Laura Ingraham returned to Fox News this week after her self-imposed exile to stem the tide of advertisers fleeing her show because she’s lying raging bitch, and she started off with a bang: a ten-minute diatribe called, "The Left's Plot to Silence Conservatives."

And in that unhinged rant, she once again went after student activist David Hogg—who led the boycott against her show and her advertisers—of being “Stalinist."

This is what the right does; they attack anyone and everyone who has a difference of opinion, and then play the victim. Funny, though, while she whines about her poor show losing advertisers, she still has a show and earns an income.

All David Hogg has is Freedom of Speech, from which he earns not one cent.
Last week, in this space, we talked Justin Jones, the candidate for the Arkansas House who said, “fags are disgusting” and “1000% more likely than any straight person” to contact HIV.

This week we learn that Jones has suspended his campaign.

Sorry, not sorry.
It was 150 years ago that the great[?] state of South Carolina debated seceding from the Union … a decision that led to the Civil War.

Now, the topic has come up again, amid a national debate over firearms and gun rights and so three of South Carolina’s more asshatted Republicans … because, of course … have introduced a bill that would allow lawmakers to debate seceding from the U.S. “if the federal government confiscates legally purchased firearms in this State.”

The asshats are Ashley Trantham, Mike Pitts, and Jonathon Hill; Pitts admits the bill has no chance at passage but, you know, why waste time dealing with real issues that face this state when you can just be an ass.
While suffering the head cold that Carlos gave to me for his birthday, I watched some old movies on TV, and stumbled upon Butterflies Are Free—the 1970s film about q blind aspiring singer-songwriter [Edward Albert] moving away from his overprotective mother [Eileen Heckart] and living next door to free-spirited actress [Goldie Hawn].

It was cute and fun and reminded of just how dreamy Edward Albert Jr. was back then, and how he’s still kinda hot today. That’s him down there with his father, Eddie Albert, from Green Acres fame.

Just sayin’.


Deedles said...

I love Carlos! It's sick and it's forever.
I'm sorry, but the beautiful Edward Albert (I loved this movie) died in 2006 a year after his father, so no longer hot. Gorgeous, gorgeous man! Don't you just hate insufferable know-it-alls? I certainly do :)
I'm not touching the rest of these festering pustules of ick. I might catch something.

anne marie in philly said...

aw damn, deedles beat me to it.

"In his last years, Albert cared for his father who suffered from Alzheimer's disease and died at the age of 99 in 2005. Albert himself was diagnosed with lung cancer in early 2005. He died on September 22, 2006, at the age of 55." - from Wikipedia

I always loved "butterflies are free"; goldie was so YOUNG.

and the rest of the GOPricks can FOAD. hope you are feeling better; perhaps you and carlos can celebrate this weekend.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

The recycling centre? *SWOON!* Carlos is so romantic! Happy Birthday to him!

the dogs' mother said...

Sweet and concerned about the environment - what a sweetie!

Bob Slatten said...

@Deedles and AM
Y'all crushed me with th news about Edward Albert. Such a beautiful man. ::::sniff:::

mistress maddie said...

I too had no idea Eddie Albert Jr died either Bob!!!!!

Dave R said...

Wouldn't it be nice to get Laura Ingeniousness fired.

Facebook is entertaining because it is sooooo fake.

South Carolina is so terribly desperate it's downright funny.

And Goldie Hawn won an Oscar for her performance in Butterflies are Free.

Mildred Ratched said...

Alas! You expect too much from The Twatnozzzles mentioned above. We must remember twatnozzles do what twatnozzles do and nothing more. They're a bunch of self-serving, lying swamp creatures who are anti-abortion because they prefer to eat their young themselves.

Note to self: Friends don't let friends catch R.I.N. (Republican induced nausea). Wear a mask and always wash your hands after contact with a twatnozzle! No glove, no love and grow pumpkins, not Trumpkins.

Mitchell is Moving said...

Carlos is so generous that he even had to give YOU something for HIS birthday. What a guy.

That tweet of the week is the best -- but I guess that's why it's called tweet of the week.

And... you mean kittens CAN'T play the guitar?!? Shit!

Anonymous said...

People obviously have very little to do in South Carolina?
By the way you didn’t catch Carlos’ cold - he shared it.
JP x