I Didn't Say It ...

Matt Damon, on _____’s ego:

“The deal was that if you wanted to shoot in one of his buildings, you had to write him in a part. [Director] Martin Brest had to write something in Scent of a Woman—and the whole crew was in on it. You have to waste an hour of your day with a bullshit shot: Donald Trump walks in and Al Pacino’s like, ‘Hello, Mr. Trump!’—you had to call him by name—and then he exits. You waste a little time so that you can get the permit, and then you can cut the scene out. But I guess in Home Alone 2 they left it in.”

If I were a filmmaker and _____ said I could use his property only if I put him in the film, I’d kindly turn and walk away.

Still, I imagine the number of cutting room floors he’s been found on is high-larious.

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Richard Spencer, newly confirmed Secretary of the Navy on _____’s transgender ban:

“We will process and take direction of a policy that is developed by the [Defense] secretary [with] direction from the president and march out smartly, [but] on a fundamental basis, any patriot that wants to serve and meets all the requirements should be able to serve in our military.”

I tend to put my faith in the men and women of the military and not the draft dodging little pissant in the White House.

But that’s just me.

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Joe Scarborough, of MSNBC’s Morning Joe, suggesting _____ is being blackmailed by Putin:

“Donald Trump, at some point in his life, has insulted everybody around him in the harshest of terms, including his own children, [but] there is only one exception to Trump’s bullying and belligerence. The only person that I certainly can think of that he has never insulted, that he has never attacked is Vladimir Putin, which, again, raises the question, and I will ask it again on TV: What does Vladimir Putin have on Donald Trump? Because whatever it is, it must be extraordinary.”

I doubt we’ll ever know, but just the suspicion should be enough to impeach.

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Kellyanne Conway, Minister of Propaganda, on Fox & Friends—because she knows that’s all her boss watches—kissing his ass:

“The president and first lady felt compelled to donate $1 million of their own money. They felt compelled to visit [Texas] twice, to really spend the time yesterday, engage people, look them in the eye. This is the Donald Trump that so many of us know and are privileged to work with and to know very close and personal. People are saying he missed an opportunity to unify the country. They are doing exactly that here. And also meeting their needs of food, water, and shelter at the same time.”

Have we seen the check?

Oh, and um, Kellyanne, you dumb bitch; they felt “compelled”? That’s what presidents do, you moron, they visit areas of the country that have been devastated.

And how does a man who says Mexicans are murderers, Muslims are terrorists, says trans Americans are unfit to serve, calls Nazis good people, unify any country?

Don’t answer; you can’t, your lips are glued to the Bigot-In-Chief’s sphincter.

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Joel Osteen, the so-called “Good Christian” who didn’t open the doors of his Houston mega-church to help flood victims until after Twitter shamed him, saying God would “pay back” victims for what they lost:

“We’re not going to understand everything that happens, but having a ‘poor old me’ mentality or ‘look what I lost’ or ‘why did this happen,’ you know that’s just going to pull you down. God won’t allow it unless he has a purpose for it. We may not see it at the time, but that’s what faith is all about. The reason it may seem like God is not waking up is not because he’s ignoring you, not because he’s uninterested, it’s because he knows you can handle it. Take it as a compliment.”

Sounds like Joel is making an excuse for why he ignored the flood victims and sat in his mansion while they suffered.

Ass.

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Colton Haynes, openly gay actor, on Hollywood  discriminating against openly gay actors:

“Hollywood is so fucked up. So much of the focus is on your personal life & has nothing to do with the talent you have to bring to the table…Thank god for Ryan Murphy, Greg Berlanti, & Jeff Davis. They believe gay actors are more than just their personal lives…So disappointed in how Hollywood can’t understand that playing a character has nothing to do with how u live your personal life.”

It’s funny, because they don’t ask straight actors about their sex lives, and yet they bestow award after award on any straight actor who plays gay, like it’s some amazing feat to play a human being of a differing sexual orientation.

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John McCain, all out of f**ks, on _____:

“We can fight like hell for our ideas to prevail. But we have to respect each other or at least respect the fact that we need each other. That has never been truer than today, when Congress must govern with a president who has no experience of public office, is often poorly informed and can be impulsive in his speech and conduct. We must respect his authority and constitutional responsibilities. We must, where we can, cooperate with him. But we are not his subordinates. We don’t answer to him. We answer to the American people. We must be diligent in discharging our responsibility to serve as a check on his power. And we should value our identity as members of Congress more than our partisan affiliation.”

Too bad he wasn’t this strongly anti-_____ when the buffoon was running for office, but, still, it’s nice to see a Republican stand up against the Bigot-In-Chief.

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