I Didn't Say It ...

Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Emmy award-winning actress from Veep and Seinfeld, announcing that she has breast cancer:

 “1 in 8 women get breast cancer. Today, I’m the one. The good news is that I have the most glorious group of supportive and caring family and friends, and fantastic insurance through my union. The bad news is that not all women are so lucky, so let’s fight all cancers and make universal health care a reality.”

Good for her, to shine a light of the plight of breast cancer victims in this country and the plight of folks wity no healthcare.

Here’s to a speedy recovery for one of my favorites.

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Trevor Noah, Daily Show host, responding to former Congressman Joe Walsh’s claim that Stevie Wonder is just “another ungrateful black multi-millionaire” because he took a knee at a concert in New York:

“Ungrateful to whom? I’m fascinated by that concept. People always say that. Ungrateful to whom? This idea that black people should be grateful is some sneaky-ass racism. A white billionaire spends a year screaming that America is a disaster, and he’s “in touch with the country” but when a black man kneels quietly, he should be grateful for the successes that America has allowed him to have? You think black Americans are free from the worry of being shot by agents of the state [if they kneel during the anthem]? That’s the whole thing that they’re protesting in the first place!”

Yes, black people need to be more grateful to white folks because we’ve done so much for y’all. OIf course, this comes from Joe Walsh, one of the biggest lying asshatted f**kmonkey to ever sit in the Congress so, yeah, there’s that.

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Megyn Kelly, to Russell Turner, a Will  Grace superfan, on the first day of her new Today Show segment:

“Is it true that you became a lawyer — and you became gay! — because of Will?”

Yes, Megyn, and interestingly enough, I became a Hillbilly Millionaire who loaded up the truck and moved to Beverly ... Hills, that is, because I watched that show on TV. I also turned out to be a wacky redhead married to a Cuban bandleader because of TV ... okay, that one’s not so far off the mark.

Still, Megyn, thanks for taking a giant step backward you idiot. TV cannot make you gay, but, clearly, being a Fox news hack for a while can't make you an idiot.

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Jim Parsons, Big Bang Theory actor, on what it felt like to be a gay man in a relationship for 15 years and to finally marry his partner, Todd—above left:

“I didn’t really think we cared about the act of it that much, to be honest with you. And that sounds cold in a way, but I finally thought … well, let’s have a party then for the celebration, and we’ll go ahead and legalize this thing. And I really thought it would kind of end at that ... but it was so much more meaningful in the moment to me than I predicted. And it’s been resonantly more meaningful to me afterward than I ever saw coming. I’d been an adult gay person for so long at a time when that wasn’t possible that life was ‘fine,’ you know what I mean? There is an underlying thing a little buzz of something. I keep reminding myself of it. I kind of forget, and then I’m like, ‘we’re a legal thing, just like mom and dad were.'”

That’s exactly how I felt when Carlos and I got married; I mean, I knew we didn’t need to do it, but we did it because we wanted everyone to know that we were a married couple, just like our parents, and had the same desires and hopes as anyone else.

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John McCain, Arizona’s GOP Senator, on the differences between him and _____:

“He is in the business of making money and he has been successful both in television as well as Miss America and others. I was raised in a military family. I was raised in the concept and belief that duty, honor, country is the — is the lodestar for the behavior that we have to exhibit every single day.”

Well, when you’re a draft-dodging spoiled brat that’s all you know; and, sadly, that’s what the minority of us elected in 2016.

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Steve Kerr, coach of the Golden State Warriors, in response to _____’s racist un-American rants:

“How about the irony of, ‘Free speech is fine if you’re a neo-Nazi chanting hate slogans, but free speech is not allowed to kneel in protest?' No matter how many times a football player says, ‘I honor our military, but I’m protesting police brutality and racial inequality,’ it doesn’t matter. Nationalists are saying, ‘You’re disrespecting our flag.’ Well, you know what else is disrespectful to our flag? Racism. And one’s way worse than the other.”

It’s not about a flag or a song or a knee; it’s about wanting to be recognized, to be equal, to be allowed to live, to be safe from being shot dead if you get stopped while driving.

It’s about being equal, and that’s one of our founding tenets so let’s all move toward that, m’kay?

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Gregg Popovich, San Antonio Spurs head coach, on the NFL Take A Knee flap:

“Race is the elephant in the room and we all understand that. Unless it is talked about constantly, it’s not going to get better. ‘Oh, they’re talking about that again. They pulled the race card again. Why do we have to talk about that?’ Well, because it’s uncomfortable. There has to be an uncomfortable element in the discourse for anything to change, whether it’s the LGBT movement, or women’s suffrage, race, it doesn’t matter. People have to be made to feel uncomfortable, and especially white people, because we’re comfortable. We still have no clue what being born white means. And if you read some of the recent literature, you realize there really is no such thing as whiteness. We kind of made it up. That’s not my original thought, but it’s true. It’s hard to sit down and decide that, yes, it’s like you’re at the 50-meter mark in a 100-meter dash. You’ve got that kind of a lead, yes, because you were born white. You have advantage that are systemically, culturally, psychologically rare. And they’ve been built up and cemented for hundreds of years. But many people can’t look at it that way, because it’s too difficult. It can’t be something that’s on their plate on a daily basis. People want to hold their position, people want their status quo, people don’t want to give that up. Until it’s given up, it’s not going to be fixed.”

So sorry white people feel uncomfortable when a minority demands equality, or just the right not to die because of their skin color.

And not talking about it solves nothing.

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Jimmy Kimmel, on the latest death of an Obamacare repeal:

 “Thank you Senator Collins, you know Maine needs affordable healthcare more than almost any state. You know the sewers up there are filled with child-eating clowns.”

Pennywise be damned!

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