Random Musings

... that Tweet is how Chelsea Clinton reacted to a story on Golf.com about _____ telling members at his Bedminster Golf Club that the “White House is a real dump.”

This is how social media responded ...

Carlos and I had a bit of a Date Night last week and went to see The Big Sick and then have some dinner.

The film is the true story of Kumail Nanjiani, a Pakistani comic, who meets an American girl named Emily at one of his shows. Now, Kumail’s family wants to arrange a marriage for him with a Pakistani girl, and when Emily finds out he’s been keeping that secret she breaks up with him. But then Emily comes down with an illness that leaves her in a coma, and so Kumail goes to the hospital to sit with her until her parents arrive.

The film made me laugh out loud—notice I did not LOL—when Emily’s father asked Kumail, a Muslim, how he felt about 9/11. Naturally, Kumail, being a comedian, answered like this:

“It was devastating. We lost nineteen of our best guys.”

Inappropriate humor? Check.

Later in the film, when it appears Emily may never recover, Kumail sits with her and tells her that if she wants to, she can go ... but if she wants to stay that would be okay, too.

That’s when I cried, because it’s almost exactly what I said to my mom when I was sitting by her side the day she died.

Big laughs; big tears. The Big Sick is a movie that will make you laugh out loud and then burst into tears ... or maybe that’s just me?

Moments after the swearing-in of General John Kelly as his new Chief of Staff following another week of White House chaos, _____ told reporters that Kelly will do a "spectacular" job.  Then, as he does, _____ proceeded to detail all his own "accomplishments," including unemployment, the stock markets, and consumer optimism because ... narcissist.

But, oddly, even for _____, after speaking to reporters, he dismissed them by saying, "we'll see you in the board room."

There was a meeting of _____ and his cabinet secretaries that morning, but the name of the room in which the meetings take place is the Cabinet Room, not the Board Room.

Maybe he thinks he’s still doing The Apprentice or maybe he’s just fucking out of his mind.

From the Do-They-Know-They’re-Hypocrites files ... last week, Budget Director Mick Mulvaney said that official White House policy is for the Senate to stay focused on repealing ObamaCare and not go home for vacation.

This was on the same day that _____ left for his 43rd—and, no, that is not an exaggeration—trip to one of his golf properties.

So, I was living in California—Sacramento, to be exact—when the Unabomber trial was going on out there. It was kind of crazy because there were certain buildings and streets that you were not allowed to be near during the day for security reasons. So, naturally, I watched MANHUNT The Unabomber, a eight-part series, on television.

Luckily, while the story is intriguing, it also features Sam Worthington, formerly of Starz’ Spartacus: Blood and Sand .... and Lotsa Nude Men [I added that last bit] and Paul Bettany as Ted Kaczynski.

Now, I know Kaczynski was a homegrown white male terrorist, Bettany is still pretty cute.

Just sayin’.

And I have also been intrigued by Virginia Congressman Scott Taylor after he made the list of Republicans who spoke out against _____’s transgender ban.

Sometimes Republicans do the right thing and look good whilst doing so.

So, Chris Christie went to the ball park ... well, the snack counter at the ball park ... and while walking down the stairs, a man in the crowd heckled him, calling him a ‘hypocrite’ and a ‘sucker.’

Christie came back up, got in the man’s face and screamed at him ... without spilling his plate of nachos.

Just saying, he can berate a man in public and still save his food.

I’ll take ‘Asshats Who Will Never Be President’ for $100, please, Alex.

Danica Roem is a transgender woman, a journalist and a singer in a metal band; she’s also a Democrat.

Bob Marshall is a Republican member of Virginia’s House of Delegates who has sponsored some of the most socially conservative legislation in Virginia, including a measure this year to restrict the bathrooms transgender people can use.

Roem is challenging Marshall for his seat in the state House of Delegates, and if she wins, she would be the first openly transgender candidate to serve in a state legislature.

Marshall is clearly worried because he is sending out an email blast defending his record and saying he respects every person “because we are all made in our Creator’s image.”

Nice, though hard to believe because he then says:

“I’m not trying to tell people like Danica, formally Dan, how to live their life, and likewise they should not be forcing their views and behaviors on the rest of us.”

Not a view, not a behavior, Bob; it’s a life. And for you to say things like “formally Dan” is the height of bigotry and that alone is reason enough to kick your transphobic ass to the curb.

After that story, I feel like people should show up to Bob Marshall events wearing that shirt Frank Ocean wore during a recent concert.

Just sayin’.

From the Are They Really Gonna Do This file ... while _____ was promoting a transgender military ban, his spokes-moron, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, decided to start off a White House press briefing by reading a letter from a constituent ... a 9-year-old boy named Dylan.

Sanders announced that she’d be reading letters at the start of some briefings “to remind us a little more often of some of the forgotten men, women, and children that we’re here to serve and that the president is fighting for.” Or, better said, because the Orange Man needs his tiny ego stroked ... or something.

Dylan, who also goes by the name “Pickle,” wrote:

“My name is Dylan, but everybody calls me Pickle. I’m nine years old and you’re my favorite president.”

And we’ll stop ... “favorite”? Or is that just because Mommy and Daddy said so, because it gets ickier now ...

“I like you so much that I had a birthday party about you.”

Stopping. A _____ Child’s Birthday Party? Did they play Bankruptcy? Did they play Pin The Hand on the Pussy? Liar Liar?

“My cake was the shape of your hat.”

Not his tiny hands. But then Dylan asked how old Trump was—because he acts like a child?—and how big the White house was ... which caused Sanders, during a press briefing, to rattle off a long list of facts about the property. Dylan goes on:

“I don’t know why people don’t like you.”

Um, Dylan, may I? It’s because he’s unhinged—that means insane; it’s because he’s a racist, misogynist, anti-immigrant, anti-Muslim, anti-LGBTQ moron with no experience running a country ... unless it’s into the ground.

I know you’re nine, Dylan, but grow up, fast, because by the time you get to vote, if people like your parents have their way, this country will be a shit-show. M’kay?

Oh, and after reading Pickles’ letter, Sanders threatened to end the briefing early if reporters asked about ____ banning transgender people from the military.

Yup, a letter from a kid and no discussion of the president’s bigotry and hatred.

Last week, at a rally night in Ohio, _____ made a joke—not really a joke because the man has no sense of humor—about having his face inscribed alongside Presidents Washington, Jefferson, Roosevelt, and Lincoln on Mount Rushmore.

And Twitter replied:

To be fair, one day another president could be added to the monument, but not the man who, after six months in office, has yet to pass any major legislation, who has the lowest approval ratings since approval ratings began, and hasn’t fulfilled one single promise he made during his campaign.

For example: he promised to end ISIS within thirty days.

Didn’t do it.