Friday, April 08, 2016

PR All-St★rs 5, Ep 9: Touched By An Angel, er, Alyssa

The designtestants are off to Coney Island and a baseball field—home to the Brooklyn Cyclones—where they find Alyssa Milano and the PR Models all wearing Alyssa Milano’s athletic wear designs from Touch by Alyssa Milano. The challenge will be to create an athleisure — elevated streetwear — look that can be worn to a sporting event, but also worn out to dinner or on a runway or catching a foul ball …

The winner this week will have their look made—after it’s modified—and sold as part of Touch by Alyssa Milano. They have one day and $200 to make Alyssa Milano happy so, without another Alyssa Milano, let’s rip …
THE SAFE
EMILY
She said she was taking a plain white ‘T’ and reworking it. She did, though I cannot see a woman cheering on her team unless she wanted her lady parts to fly out. I also didn’t get the slits in the leggings.
THE BOTTOMS
SAM
This is Sam’s wheelhouse; he does athleisure in his sleep … or something. But he also wants to redeem himself from last week’s mesh disaster so he opts to use the same mesh, that blue color I loathe, and lace to create a circle skirt—ooh, how first year design student — that is reminiscent of a cheerleader — ooh, how not the challenge.

Zanna takes a look at his piece, which is mesh in the front and lace in the back — perhaps he saw Dom’s two-sided look and thought he’d give it a go — and she dubbed it two different dresses, Sam loses the back; makes a basic dress and tacks on lace details on the shoulders and hem.

WHAT HE SAID
This is really athleisure couture.

WHAT I SAID
This is really an ice-skating dress for a girl just starting to ice skate.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Kristen Cavallari called it gorgeous, and had a great silhouette and she loved the lace and it was all so beautiful … for a cocktail party, not a game. Alyssa agreed and said it was wrong for the challenge wand was kinda pissed that Sam didn’t adhere to the constraints; she called the look a slap in the face. Isaac, though, said, “This girl loves that dress.” — to which Alyssa said, “Thank you Miss Isaac,” and he replied, “It’s Missus.” — while the Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ said she would wear that to a game because, to her, it was athleisure; Isaac reminded her that she’d probably prefer it with fur or feathers; the Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ also, however, pointed out that it was too simple and not very well executed.
KEN
He’s a wee bit tired of making gowns so he says he’s up for the challenge and will do a hoodie, in black and white lace … apparently for night games … in the bedroom? But ken has all kinds of issues and, according to Zanna, too many ideas.

He didn’t buy red thread; he sewed part of the look wrong; he has to rip it apart. He storms out … well, he summer storms out because it wasn’t all that; it was just drama because the next day he’s back and scrambling to finish his look in two hours and scrambling to sew on a couple of black lace pockets in the front.

WHAT HE SAID
My look is a little more ‘downtown’ than the girl I normally dress.

WHAT I SAID
Those last minute pockets are just bad, and that dress underneath seems like an odd choice, and then for some reason, as she’s walking away, I get a vibe that it’s kind of a nurses uniform or something. It was a mess.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Alyssa loved that it was sleeveless but said she, too, hated the pockets. Worse than that: the Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ was disappointed that this was a Ken Creation; bad proportions, bad length for the skirt; bad. Guest judge, reality show star and now a designer… uh huh … Kristen Cavallari, loved the simplicity of it and said she “could see a million girls wearing it.” Isaac said, “Could you see a million girls wear it, or do you see a million girls wear it?” He said girls already have that look, only theirs doesn’t look so cheap.
LAYANA
Another week and another challenge where Layana says she has this … this is what she does … this is who she is; Oy! But then, because she’s been Bottom Feeding for a while now, she takes on a pant that has thousands and thousands of pleats in dozens of panels because she wants to throw everything at the judges.

Sadly, Zanna thinks it looks more sportswear — high-end sweat pants would have been more accurate — and then Layana does herself no favors when she makes a simple white top and the scraps it for some more heavily details sports-bra-t-shirt smashup.

WHAT SHE SAID
She looks so cool, so high fashion!

WHAT I SAID
The top seams too rigid for the pleated sweats and, again, I loathe that shade of blue.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ loved the pleating detail but thought the proportions of the top were a bit off; she also felt that because Layana was in the bottom so many weeks, that she tried to do too much and created a visual overload … huh, me and GC … GMTA.  Kristen Cavallari also loved the leggings … just not with that top. Isaac sounded the same bell: good leggings, bad top, while Alyssa said it just wasn’t “game wear.”
THE TOPS
ASHA
She’s riding high on last week’s win and has a cool idea; she’ll take the look of a man’s baseball jersey and turn it into a skirt, topping it off with a sports bra. My first thought is: Is a sports bra supposed to be seen? Zanna loves the idea of the skirt but says nothing about the top, so it’s sports bra mania at Asha’s work table.

WHAT SHE SAID
My model looks sporty and badass.

WHAT I SAID
It’s cute, though as I see it, I think it’s kind of a costume, and, yeah, I don’t like the sp0rts bra. I mean, I cannot walk around Camden with a jockstrap on the outside … well, I could, but I don’t wanna spend one more night in the Crazy Tank.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ loved it, thought it very creative, but wasn’t keen on the buttons down the skirt front; it was also a bit too junior for her. Isaac also disliked the buttons, though he thought the skirt idea was clever, while Alyssa agreed about the skirt and agreed with me about the sports bra. Kristen Cavallari liked the sports details: the striping and the mesh, but also agreed that a better top would have made the look.
DOM
Her ideas scare me a bit; she wants to do a bat-wing dress with a detachable piece along the bottom in mixed fabrics. And here I thought Layana had too many ideas. But, as usual, the mix of fabrics seems to work, and she, once again … like last week, created a kind of peek-a-boo back.

Zanna loved the back and called the detachable hem — taking the dress from long and dark to short and lean — was unique.

WHAT SHE SAID
I love my look … it’s very sophisticated.

WHAT I SAID
It’s kind of mummy from the front, and the head scarf is odd, but the back is, once again, a wow.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Alyssa loved the detachable hem — and I thought it looked so much better short — and called the look brilliant. Kristen Cavallari also liked it better short, but thought it too high-fashion to be game-worthy. Isaac disagreed; he loved the drama of the longer length; and he loved the shapelessness of it, though it still hugged the model’s body. The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ called it a 1920s tennis dress-and by that she meant she loved it; she loved, again, the back detail and the way Dom mixes patterns so well.
KINI
He’s doing three pieces: a coat, some jeans, and a simple top. He also bought the same mesh fabric that Sam used this week—and the same mesh fabric Sam used last week—because, he says, he wants to show Sam how to make mesh work. I seriously wish these two would f**k already and stop sniping at each other like schoolboys with a crush.

Anyway … Zanna loved the jeans, but worried that the coat might be too sportswear and not athleisure enough for the judges.

WHAT HE SAID
It’s so different for me to do ready-to-wear with no drama in it.

WHAT I SAID
I hate Capri pants … or whatever you call that length. But I like the look and the coat is cool.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Kristen Cavallari called the jacket smart and creative, though she thought the rest of the look wasn’t all that.  Alyssa also loved the coat, especially the pleat in the back that made it more fashionable. The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ called the coat chic and loved the splash of color, but she took issue with the crotch of the jeans. Isaac marveled that Kini, who usually does dresses, pulled off a coat and jeans and a shirt; he praised Kini’s versatility.
Sam, though he swung at it and missed, is safe; Ken, though he fouled out, and took a walk, is also safe. And that leaves us with Layana, who committed her third strike and was sent home.

Howsabout those sports metaphors? Not bad for a queen who can’t throw!

As for the tops: Asha made it to first base despite the button, while Dom rounded second with her dramatic look. But it was Kini who scored a home run this week, his first All-Stars win.
When Sam said, “If I don’t at least end up in the top in this challenge, I might as well go home,” and then finished in the bottom, I kinda hoped the producers would say, “Bye Sam.”

And if they didn’t send him home for that, they should’a booted him for donning his drab circle skirt and spinning like a dreidel.

Line of the Night goes to ken, who knows nothing about sports:
“I don’t know too many sports, but I figured red, black and white had to be somebody’s team.”
Now, as for his exit: that look he gave Dom when she asked if he was all right scared the bejeesus outs me. I’ve been told that I give Good Dirty Looks, but I ain’t got nothing on Ken. That said, his walk-out was a TCV Walkout because if he wasn’t coming back the producers would have sent Alyssa or Zanna in to tell the designtestants and to clear out his stuff. Plus, Ken has to stay in the PR Guest suites with the other designers so even they knew he wasn’t really leaving. Give me real drama, not this made up shiz.

I wanted to smack Sam for his eye-roll when Kini was bragging about his critique because Sam is always bragging about how much the judges adore him; he even bragged about what Kristen Cavallari and the Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ said about his look and apparently missed it when Kristen said it was a cocktail dress and not athleisure!

Emily. Emily. Emily. You had one win, which I think was given to you, and always seem to be Safe. It’s time to go. I’m tired of the blue hair—in that blue—and the pink eye shadow. Go home, dear.

What did YOU think?



2 comments:

the dogs' mother said...

When they showed the Touch by Alyssa Milano designs on the models - a grey tank top, a plain t-shirt, I'm not sure there was any design, anywhere....athleisure??? They all thought it was the coolest design trend ever. Really? Sigh. And the 'dramas'. I agreed he had to be sleeping in the same place as the rest of them.
Glad Kini got a win. Dom's horrified me. The Engineer was frightened of Alyssa's eye makeup at the runway show.
I did see TIM and Heidi asking for contestants on the next PR. Back to Basics people. Back to TIM and Swatch.

www.DiatribesAndOvations.com said...

Once again, I completely agree with you. I'd like Kini to slap Sam so hard across the face that he wants to sit on my lap in his underwear. That poor boy is all talk ... but I'm listening!

I wonder if they're afraid to send Emily home because she'll go all Fatal Attraction and they'll find bunnies boiling in their kitchens. Her stuff is just weird.

Try as I might, I still can't like Allysa Milano! She's supposed to be a fashion designer and taken seriously as a host and judge of a design competition but, when I look at her, I can't help but wonder if she got dressed in a room with no mirrors. Heidi Klum would never be caught dead looking as awful as Allysa often looks.

Of course, Heidi Klum probably couldn't pronounce "Schwarzkopf" to save her life.