PR All-St★rs 5, Ep 11, Briefly, And Ep 12: The Prints Of Ties

A brief recap of PR All-Stars 5, Ep 11 … where the challenge was to create a wearable piece of avant-garde art with a $400 Mood budget and two days to work; here’s the breakdown …

KEN [top left] was empowered by an artist who is empowered by empowered woman; his piece, with a slit for the model to see into the light, was the only thing that resembled avant-garde — though I agree with the judges who said it should have been longer — and so he wins.

KINI [top middle] created a gown, a very pretty gown, but the only thing avant-garde about it is the pretention … having the model wear a full black body suit. Other than that it’s just a Kini gown.

DOM [top right] took a mosaic piece of art and created a mosaic dress; the dress itself isn’t avant-garde, but the coat does give it an edge. So I guess it was Dom-vant-garde?

SAM [bottom left] saw a digital image of an owl and made a rainbow flag kite — as Alyssa called it — because nothing says LGBT equality like an owl? But his sad, draped mishmash nothing of a dress is safe while …

EMILY [bottom right] was inspired by the colors in a painting and created an almost literal translation of the piece; it’s not avant-garde, though it is cool, though not enough to cool down the producers love affair with Drapey Sam who should have gone home; Emily gets the boot.

Now, onto the last episode … PR All-Stars 5, Ep 12 …

Alyssa meets the designtestants on the runway wearing a digital billboard to advertize the show — seriously, talk about product placement. I figured this week would be the Electrified Design week, but, alas, I was wrong.

However, before we good get back to Billboard Alyssa she introduces special guest judge, Nina Motherf**king Garcia, Creative Director of Marie Claire and project runway diva icon judge, and even I begin to tremble.

Nina tells the designtestants that our iPhones and tablets and notebooks and whatever else you call your electronic thing-a-mah-bobs, are the new fashion accessory and that Otterbox — I’m such a luddite I thought it was AutoBox — uses fashion designers to create phone cases; to that end, one Barbara Meyer from Otterbox, steps onstage — and then quickly disappears … never to be seen or heard from again — to tell the designers that this week’s challenge is to create their own prints and then pair that print with another print purchased from Mood and that the winning designer will create an Otterbox case to be manufactured and sold worldwide. Um, Okay?

Let’s rip …

DOM

It’s clear Dom will win this and the producers don’t even bother with an Oh no! She’s going home! edit … though we get a mild scare when Zanna says she doesn’t really like Dom’s idea of painting stripes on the white leather coat.

Dom took her print and her Mood print and made a side-mullet dress worn under a longish leather zebra-stripe-looking coat … not my favorite look … the dress.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Nina Garcia likes the look, and Dom’s print, but she’s with me on the side-mullet. Alyssa, however, loves the asymmetry of the wrap dress though she wishes it wrapped the other way … which I think it could, given that it, um, wraps? And, naturally, Isaac and the Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ love the way Dom mixes prints and prints and prints and stripes.

KINI

He wants to give Dom a challenge — good luck with that — but then he returns to what he does best: an 80s-inspired Alexis Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan gown with starship shoulders and a tight fishtailed skirt. In a visit with former All-Star winner Anthony Ryan Auld, he’s told to sex it up because, well, grandma-looking.

Kini’s print, a leaf pattern — which was evident in his computer sketch but less so on the actual fabric — makes up the tuxedo-esque coat, while he uses his Mood print for the long skirt.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ loves the silhouette though she thinks Kini needs to reign himself in a bit, and Isaac agrees; he is not a fan of the “cheap” fabric lapels on the coat. Nina says she knew at once this was a “Kini Dress” but she also agrees that the look is over-designed.

KEN

He’s nervous; Ken don’t do prints! And he isn’t good at designing prints either, because he created a sad looking gray “textured” print that he used only on the top half of his look, and used his Mood print — a better looking one, I might add — as the skirt.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ says “there is a lack of polish” in his look, which is odd coming from Ken; she also doesn’t care for his prints, both handmade and store-bought. Isaac thinks the proportions are off saying the skirt could have, should have, been shorter, and Nina says she likes the Mood print much better than the Ken print. Ken, I thought, would explode, but this new Ken simply nods and agrees with the judges … no one’s life is threatened during the critique.

SAM

I liked Sam’s print; it looked a little Hawaiian shirt, though he pixilated the print and made it seem more modern. But then he ruined all that by going for that same tired neoprene mesh he’s used challenge after challenge and making a jumpsuit like he’d made in at least three other challenges this season. He tried to justify both choices by saying he loves the mesh and that a jumpsuit is his “signature piece.” I think that means “I make the same look over and over until I get it right.”

Zanna loved the print, hated the mesh, hated the jumpsuit, and with good reason. The jumpsuit was a sack, and the mesh looked like those things you put under area rugs to keep them from sliding — and I know this because one of my chores while at my Dad’s house was to put the non-skid mats under the rugs.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID

Alyssa liked the print … as a phone cover, while the Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ called it “challenging” and the jumpsuit a bit lifeless. Nina likes the coat but not with the jumpsuit and Isaac … Thank You Missus Mizrahi … called out Sam for using the mesh again!

The judges deliberated for TV and then, surprise, Dom wins! She’ll make a mini-collection as will Kini. Quelle surprise.

Then they talk losers … Ken or Sam … and that’s when I note that the show is ninety minutes long this week and so I assume they’ll have Sam and Ken do a Sudden-Death-Redesign-In-A-Hot-Minute Challenge. And they do! Seriously, I saw that coming at least a mile away.

Suddenly, there are two “mystery” boxes with giant question marks on them, and a whole workroom behind Ken and Sam … as if we’re to believe that the producers decided at the last minute to have a Sew Off. Ken and Sam will have one hour to take a winning and a losing look from a previous challenge and make an all-new creation. Ken gets his winning look, and Mitchell’s losing look, from the Baroque challenge, while Sam gets Asha’s winner, and Alexander’s loser, from the Fairytale challenge.

Sam makes a micro-mini — Hi Fine China — dress and then, using Asha’s pants as sleeves and Alexander’s bodice, makes a jacket. But, as per usual, Sam’s construction is a hot mess — I haven’t seen so many loose threads since my crocheted thong unraveled at a pool party last year … just saying. Plus, even though the judges liked the bodice-backed jacket, it looked like a coat worn the wrong way; not a fan.

Ken used his original dress, but made it shorter and removed the beading and added a cap sleeve and tall collar with chiffon from Mitchell’s look. It was all Ken; sleek, sexy, strong … and well-made, given the hour he had.

And so, as the tick-tock begins I am thinking that if the producers send both to the finale I would cut a bitch … and make her into a sport coat … but in the end … sigh of relief … Sam’s out and Ken’s in.

Ninety minutes for this? Seriously, enough with the faux drama and the pre-planned OMG last minute redo challenge nonsense.

That said, I’m glad Sam is out; during last week’s episode when Ken went off on him about how all the other designers work and create and sweat while Sam basically drapes and pins, I knew I wanted Sam gone. It’s true; the others really worked at their looks week after week, while Sam draped and made circle skirts and jumpsuits. I’m happy with him gone.

And ... that said, I did think it was nice that Anger Management Ken took Sam aside and apologized for going off on his; he didn’t mean to be so harsh, though at least this time he didn’t hurl an iron. If only Kini had the balls to build a bridge and get over I Made That Look Gate.

But. Really PR? Why the return of the former All-Stars winners? Oh yeah, to fill ninety minutes. I mean, it was nice to see them all — mostly Mondo, whom I love — but it seemed like a colossal waste of time … airtime and my time.

And Ken will get many Lines of the Night for calling Dom the “Queen of Prints” and the “Goddess of Prints” and the “God of Prints” and then the “Prince of Prints” — that that last one stung a bit since Ken brought up the recently departed Artist Formerly Known As Prince.

I’m looking forward to the finale because these three will really put on a show and there will be fashion. And there will be blood … metaphorically speaking.

What did YOU think?