Monday, September 23, 2013

Emmy Fashion: The Best, The Good, The Meh, The Worst ... And Everything In Between

THE BEST
Keeping it simple: Julia Louis-Dreyfus simply shimmers, and Padma Lakshmi keeps it sexy.
Going Big: Kaley Cuoco goes sexy corseted prom dress, and Carla Gugino rules in red.

THE BEST: Honorable Mention
Jane Lynch proved you need not squeeze into a designer gown to be Best Dressed.

BLACK & WHITE
Anna Gunn does it simple, cool and sexy
Elizabeth Moss does it drab

THE GOOD
Tina fey, deciding to leave the basic boring black she usually wear at home
Sofia Vergara going mermaid, again, but hot in red
Sarah Silverman gets the Sharon Stone Award for the $60 online purchased Emmy dress

CURVY GIRLS
Christina Hendricks shows how it's done, while Mindy Kaling keeps it simple, but Lena Dunham is a definite What Not To Wear Fash-hole..

THE MEH
Julianna Margulies looks a little pregnant, a little bored, and a little simple; and don't get me started on the hair. 
Claire Danes should never wear low cut because there's nothing to show, and Cobie Smulders went to simple and almost not there at all. 
January Jones looks like drapery material while Sarah Hyland channeled the Old West and Rose Byrne still looks scary thin and blah.

THE PROM
Alyson Hannigan and Carrie Underwood both travelled back in time to get the ugliest prom dresses imaginable. The Dress Barn ain't chic, y'all.

THEY SAY IT'S THE SAME BUT IT'S NOT THE SAME
Just named the Best Dressed Woman In The World, Kerry Washington showed up in a dress that looked good from the side, but looked like a bad Carol Burnett Show costume from the front.

SHEER MADNESS
Amanda Peet in a cocktail dress worn under a negligee that Grandma handed down, while Julianna Hough wanted to show ex Ryan Seacrest what he was missing--he doesn't care, dear, he's gay--and Lena Headey looked like an Esther Williams retread in a swimsuit coverup. 

SISTER ACT
The Deschanels, Zooey and Emily; Zooey brought the glamour, while Emily brought the couch fabric.
 
THE WORST
Connie Britton brought Nashville Horse Blanket Glitter, while Heidi Klum looked like her Versace was strangling her. 
Lily Rabe's dress couldn't make upo its mind what it wanted to be, while Mayim Bialik borrowed one of Vivian Vance's 1953 Emmy reject dresses. 
Julie Bowen, in a misstep by The Adorable Zac Posen™, the bottom was cool and sexy but the top looked like bad sketch comedy wear. 
Vera Farmiga, possibly one of the most beautiful women in the world, was ruined by this too much fabric monstrosity.

THE WORST OF THE WORST
Zosia Mamet; the black bar should have been covering here eyes and she'd be perfect for What Was She Thinking? 
Ana Faris should have yolk on her face instead on yolk on her dress, and Emma Fellowes, with Julia Fellowes the creator of Downton Abby, looked like a bad Glenn Close 101 Dalmatians impersonation.
THE WORST: Honorable Mention
This isn't bad, really, except for those oddly placed saddlebags on the sides. It made me think that Amy Poehler was storing some nuts to munch on during the looooong show.

5 comments:

SEAN (The Jeep Guy) said...

You didn't do the men, yet, but if you do I vote for handsome but in need of a bigger size Will Arnett. Someone should have least told him to open leave the jacket unbuttoned rather then risk the button popping during his presentation. Wait, he's a comic so maybe that's what he was going for but had a wardrobe malfunction and the button didn't pop.

the dogs' mother said...

Out of all the Emmy news on the webs today - yours was the best!

Huntress aka R.J. said...

The only argument I have is Cobie Smulders had a great bridesmaid's dress. Otherwise I agree with your ratings.

Connie Britton... someone killed a perfectly good sofa to make that dress.

Biki Honko said...

Loved the recap. I thought Christiana Hendricks was fabulous! Now thats how to dress a curvy body.

And I'm sorry to disagree with you, but Vera isnt even close to being in the top 20 of beautiful women. That girl is just plain plain plain.

I think Zooey was breathtakingly lovely.

www.DiatribesAndOvations.com said...

Spot on, once again, on all counts! You ROCK!