It’s pretty safe to assume that I am not a fan of homophobic, anti-gay American Family Association [AFA] and its spokesbigot Bryan Fischer, but sometimes, sometimes, you gotta look at them, and him, and just laugh. I mean, no one, not even LGBT rights groups, spend more of their and effort talking about The Gays and sex than the AFA, so either they’re really interested, or they’re taking lessons.
But the part that makes me laugh about the AFA today is a blog post by one of their minions, Ray Rooney, who says the problem with The Gays is that we want to talk about how we have sex, and with whom, and how we do it, and how often.
That came as news to me, but I’ll ask you, dear readers, to take a moment — and you may need more time — to peruse this blog thingy for all the times I’ve discussed how I have sex with Carlos, the, um, in-and-outs, as it were, of our sexual relationship. I’d say I’ll wait, but there’s no need to look for I have never discussed our sex life because it’s nunya bidness, as they say. And then head over to the Human Rights Campaign or Freedom To Marry or GLAAD or any other LGBT rights group and see how often they mention gay sex.
Still, this week AFA blogger Ray Rooney Jr. penned a column entitled “The Real Problem With Homosexuality” in which he says that the real reason homosexuality is wrong is because The Gays want everyone to know that they have sex with someone of the same sex:
“What I find perverse about homosexuality is the insistence from the gay community that I should know about their sexual proclivities. Normal people understand that sex is an extremely intimate and therefore private act. I would find it troubling, if not disgusting, for anyone to talk publicly about what kind of sex they like to practice. Normal people do not want to broadcast to the world the details of their sex lives. There is something wrong with those who want complete strangers to know who they like to have sex with.
Medical statistics tell me homosexuality is unhealthy. My Christian faith teaches me it is unrighteous. Common sense tells me it is unfruitful and unnatural. But none of that is why I am fed up with the gay community. I’m just sick of hearing about how one group of people demand that everyone in the world accept who they want to have sex with!
I wonder if all the stories making the news today about bakers and florists being forced to cater to homosexuals would be stories but for people announcing who they like to have sex with? I mean, did the offended customers come in and ask for a wedding cake or flowers for their wedding and were denied service because they looked like homosexuals? Or did the customer come in and announce their sexual preference and then demand service? I suspect the latter.
I believe homosexuality is wrong. Just like I believe adultery and sex outside of marriage is wrong. But even though I believe I have good reasons for opposing homosexuality as a normative lifestyle based on science, medicine, and faith, that is not why I strongly oppose it. I believe anyone who insists everyone know what they do in their bedroom and with whom is perverse. Normal people do not define themselves solely on the basis of who they are sexually attracted to.”
Wow, what a delusional asshat, because, if I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard or seen straight folks having sex — like nearly every night on my TV — I’d be rich as Donald Freaking Trump, only with better, real, hair.
Sure some gay folks talk about their sex lives, and even discuss it in detail, but so do straight people, and, for the record, Ray Rooney, being gay isn’t just sex, it’s about attraction, and compatibility and love and togetherness and sex; the same exact things as being straight, except we’re attracted to people of our own gender. We actually aren’t any different from straight folks, except in one key area: we are attracted to members of our own sex.
And that’s that. The people who seem to want to discuss The Gays and how they have sex, and why they have sex, and with whom, really seem to be those anti-gay groups. They seem to think that if they discuss what we do—or at least what they imagine we do when they are home alone, under the covers, with a jar of hand lotion and a c*m rag—that straight people will join their fight.