Really? Food Tape? REALLY??!!?

As most of you know, I am in a Fuck Off Phase this week and have come to loathe most people, and the heat, and the GOP, and most people. I especially loathe how lazy and stupid and stupid and lazy people can be and then I saw this and my head popped off my shoulders and rolled around the floor until I could catch it.

Apparently, one of the newest food complaints by stupid and lazy people is trying to keep their burritos intact while they shovel it into their burrito-hole.

I kid you not, because a team of engineering students at Johns Hopkins University have invented Tastee Tape, an edible tape that helps hold together burritos, wraps, gyros, or any other kind of food thing that might fall apart as you eat it because you don’t know how to hold food or don’t have opposable thumbs or are just stupid and lazy.

Tastee Tape! The edible tape that can be used to hold food together so you don’t look like a simpering slob with food halfway down your chin and onto your shirt while you eat.

These “inventors” are not ready to share the exact ingredients of Tastee Tape just yet but want you to know that it’s made from additives already used in many foods and is completely safe to consume … until we learn it’s not and the lawsuits ensue.

Note: if you ever see me, or even hear of me, using something called Tastee Tape to hold my food together rather than eating like a civilized human being, you have the right to bitchslap me to your hearts content.

Really.

PS  I the photo above, doesn’t the Tastee Tape look like a moldy piece of masking tape? Yeah, really inviting.

PPS It's cooling off here in Smallville, so my mood may change ... oh, who am I kidding, I will always be a pissy bitch.