I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Color me not surprised, but Kim Kardastrophe has actually admitted she would, well. Let’s have her say it:

“I’ll try anything. If you told me that I literally had to eat poop every single day and I would look younger, I might. I just might.”

I feel like she’s been eating sh*t ever since her porn days.

Kim  Poop

Sarah Jessica Parker’s next move might be trying to get Kim Cattrall to pay rent for the space she takes up in SJP’s head.

Seriously, SJP, who pretends to take the high road in this ALLEGED feud with Cattrall is at it again, playing both the victim and the bitch as we near the Five-Year Anniversary of the time that Cattrall said she wasn’t going to ever do another Sex and the City movie. Now, for her part, Kim has maintained her position; she did the role on TV, she did the role in two movies, one so-so and the other so so awful, and when asked to do a third film she said, simply, ‘No.’

But SJP played the victim, acting heartbroken that her “friend” would do such a horrible thing as turn down a job, and then turned into a bitch, saying that Cattrall was never ever going to be asked to the TV And Just Like That … Nobody Watched which was fine with Kim because, again, she announced five years ago that she wasn’t playing Samantha again.

For the love of the goddess, SJP, get it through your head: Kim is done with you and the show. You, however, speak on and on about Cattrall and the show, as you did when the reboot began airing and you had your cutesy scenes about Samantha and when you spoke to the press saying The Actress—you couldn’t even bring yourself to say her name—was never asked, and was never going to be asked, to join a TV show she had already said she did not want, and was not going to, do.

Of course now you’re talking again, because Cattrall has revealed the reason she turned down SATC3 was because her part in that film would have been mostly about a thirteen year old choking his chicken to a picture of Samantha and she called it tasteless … and so SJP took herself to The Hollywood Reporter’s Awards Chatter podcast and said it was “very hard” to talk about the situation with Kim before proceeding to talk about it:

“There were just a lot of public conversations about how she felt about the show. I’ve spent a lot of years working really hard to always be decent to everybody on the set, to take care of people, to be responsible to and for people, both my employers and the people that I feel I’m responsible for as a producer of the show. And there just isn’t anyone else who’s ever talked about me this way.”

Victim.

Then SJP got into the fight that started all of this back in 2017. She claims everything was fine with her and her employees until the negotiations started on Sex and the City 3. She claims Kim wanted a raise and when she didn’t get one, she quit. And that’s a bad thing? Samantha has been part of that show, and the first two films, and thought maybe a nice raise would be a way of saying Thanks, but the producers—and let’s be clear, Sarah Jessica parker is a producer—told her to pound sand.

Bitch.

SJP is butt hurt because And Just Like That …. Nobody Watched is a minor hit, and most of the chatter around the show is, “Where’s Kim?’

And she’s living rent-free inside SJP’s head and laughing like mad about it.

SJP  Kim

Former Glee star Matthew Morrison found a new gig this year on So You Think You Can Dance until it turned out to be So We Think You’re Fired.

The story first broke that Morrison was “let go” from the show for not following “protocols” and it sounded like  COVID thing, especially after he released this statement:

"Having the opportunity to be a judge on So You Think You Can Dance was an incredible honor for me. Therefore, it is my deepest regret to inform you that I will be leaving the show. After filming the audition rounds for the show and completing the selection of the 12 finalists, I did not follow competition production protocols, preventing me from being able to judge the competition fairly. I cannot apologize enough to all involved and I will be watching alongside you all on what I know will be one of the best seasons yet."

Sounds simple, but then word came that Morrison was fired "after he had an inappropriate relationship with a female contestant." Now, the show wants to stress that the two “didn't have sex, but he reached out to her through flirty direct messages on social media [and] she felt uncomfortable with his line of comments and went to producers, who then got Fox involved. He was fired after they did their own investigation."

To make it even more gross, Morrison has been married to Renee Puente for eight years and have two children together. Renee seems to have responded Morrison’s firing by posting to Instagram:

“Nurture yourself by first SLOWING DOWN, taking a DEEP BREATH, and asking yourself a few questions to GAIN CLARITY on your situation. How do I feel in my body? What is consuming my mind?” 

SLOW DOWN and stop messaging young girls while you’re a married man, Matthew.

Take a DEEP BREATH and think about the private messages, which I can only guess won’t be private for long.

And GAIN CLARITY on which divorce attorney to call.

LOGO   Morrison

You know, Mo’Nique loves to beef. She beefed with Lee Daniels, Oprah Winfrey and Tyler Perry about Precious for thirteen years until they all kissed and made up this year, and so now she needs a new beef: enter DL Hughley.

Mo’Nique and D.L. were scheduled to appear together at Detroit’s Fox Theater for The Comedy Explosion but Mo’ ALLEGES that DL refused to share the stage with her if she was the headliner and so Mo’Nique spent most of her set raging about it onstage, and not at all being funny … which she was hired to do:

“Y’all don’t understand. I was getting ready to walk the fuck up out of here, but I said, ‘I can’t let the people down.’ I’m 30-plus years in this motherfucking business and I don’t open for no goddamn body. The contract said, ‘the headliner.’”

Mo’Nique says DL “crossed the line” and that he has criticized her in the past on one of his tours, and so she stewed and beefed and waited years for the one time she and DL would be on the same bill, and she went off.

And DL was not having it and, as people do, took his claims to social media:

“All you have to do is check the order of names on the ticket stub from last night and you’ll see who’s confused. Against my better judgment, over the objections of my team and 4 other occasions where I said NO, I decided to take a chance and work with Monique. Oprah was the problem, Tyler Perry was the problem, Charlamagne was the problem, Steve Harvey was the problem, Lee Daniels was the problem, Netflix was the problem… Now it’s MY turn. At some point it can’t be everyone else, IT’S YOU!! Lesson learned. I didn’t have anything personal against Monique… People paid a lot of money to laugh, not hear about your contract. Apparently, the role you played in PRECIOUS turned out to be an autobiography. I wonder who’s next… “

Ouch; and then he added in ALL CAPS:

“ANSWER ME THIS…. WHEN HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE “HEADLINER” AT THE BOTTOM AND MENTIONED LAST? THE CONFUSION IS WITH WHOEVER GASSED HER UP ON PREMIUM OCTANE. NOW BACK TO THIS STOGIE AND BOURBON. Y’ALL AIN’T F*N MY SUNDAY UP.”

Mo’Nique clapped back … in ALL CAPS too no less … because, well, she’s Mo’Nique:

“THE FACT THAT YOU POINT THE PEOPLE TO THE TICKET STUBS FOR THE ORDER OF THE NAMES VERSUS TO YOUR CONTRACT IMPLIES THAT YOU DON’T HAVE A CONTRACT THAT SHOWS YOU ARE THE HEADLINER, LIKE I DO. EITHER SHOW YOUR CONTRACT OR BE QUIET. STOP MESSING WITH PEOPLE WHO HAVE NEVER MESSED WITH YOU AND WHO ONCED CONSIDERED YOU A COMRADE IN COMEDY. BUT I THANK YOU DL BECAUSE YOUR YOU’RE THE REASON WHY I FIGHT FOR MY PEOPLE LIKE I DO. ANYTIME YOU OPENED FOR THE KINGS OF COMEDY, AND I WAS THE HEADLINER FOR THE QUEENS OF COMEDY AND YOU THINK YOU SHOULD CLOSE THE SHOW OVER ME IS A PRIME EXAMPLE OF THE BIAS THAT BLACK WOMEN HAVE TO DEAL WITH IN THIS BUSINESS. I WON’T EVEN DISCUSS AWARDS.
I LOVE US 4REAL.”

I’m giving this feud about 13 years to run its course, with Mo’Nique taking every opportunity to play the victim, until the day she makes up with DL, and then finds another target.

Mo and DL

Since we started with famewhore and asshat Kim Kardastrophe, let’s end with her.

Kimmy has started a new skin care line … and, as of now, it does not include eating excrement, but she has named it Skkn by Kim,  which is eerily similar to Lori Harvey’s skincare line, Skn by LH.

As the Twitterverse said:

“Sis just added a K and called it a day.”

“Anyone with a fully developed brain and a pair of working eyeballs can clearly see that S-K-N and S-K-K-N is the same.”

“You could be so creative with your kids’ names. Now all of a sudden, you lost creativity? … At this point, it’s pretty much giving copy and paste.”

It is kind of ridiculous, but am I the only who, when I see Lori Harvey’s business name I see Skin by LH, but when I see the Kardastrophe knockoff I see Sikken by Kim?

Just sayin’, maybe it’s the feces.

SKN by LH   SKKN by Kim