Friday, February 23, 2018

PR All-St★rs 6 Ep 7: Eyes On The Stars, Heads In Uranus

This week the designtestants go on a field trip to the Hudson River Museum where they meet Alyssa in the planetarium. She tries to link fashion and space before telling the designtestants that this week’s challenge is an avant-garde look inspired by space and planets and stars and black holes … oh my. They’ll have a huge budget on $350 and two entire days to complete their looks.

Anthony lifts his arms and sighs:
“I knew you’d hear my cry, Father.”
But first the designtestants will watch a special PR Planetarium Show™ before they can dash off to Mood.

So, let’s rip ….

THE SAFES
EDMOND He was giving me Judy Jetson but could have pushed it further.

HELEN I hate this; the model looks thick and dumpy and the hair was an idiotic choice.

KEN It’s a mushroom … now, maybe it’s a truffle to some, but it’s still a mushroom.
TOPS AND BOTTOMS
FABIO
He was inspired by Neptune, which is cold and dark and windy, so he decides to give his girl a coat … of fringe. I wasn’t getting it, until I saw that he was going to quilt the fringe and have some pieces hang loose. I still didn’t like it, but now I got it.

Anne Fulenwider also doesn’t get and worries the judges won’t get it either … or at least not see the quilting detail. But Fabio sticks to his idea because the idea, and the fringe is all he’s got. He does stumble when making sleeves, and so decides to scrap those in favor of some braided fringe detail.

Again. I don’t get it.

WHAT HE SAID
Thank god you can see that quilting.

WHAT I SAID
I’m getting less interplanetary and more Mod Native American from this look.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ loves that it’s a different perspective and loves the ease of the look and the fringe, but feels the top is unresolved. Damn those sleeves! Isaac Mizrahi—and this is why I love him—says “It doesn’t work, except it great, except it’s hideous and I can look at it.” Guest Judge, Modern Family’s Jesse Tyler Ferguson says to Isaac, “I don’t think it’s the ugliest thing on the runway at all,” and said he loves the movement of the fringe. Fellow Guest Judge RuPaul likes it, but wishes the length was better—shorter or longer—and the sleeves had some length …if there were, in fact, sleeves.
ANTHONY 
Anthony, who reminds everyone that he does gowns, is gonna switch it up this week and do pants! Oh :::gasp::: no! But he’s inspired by the rings of the Milky Way and wants to mimic that in a pant, along with some crystals and some paint.

Anne is not feeling the paint so much and not feeling the crystals at all; she warns him to watch the sparkle, which Anthony finds funny after viewing all the Marie Claire covers on the walls, each one with some kind of bling on the model. He will not be taking Anne’s advice this week and so he crystals and paints and adds a circular hand painted piece to the bodice. Um … okay?

WHAT HE SAID
I am quite proud of this look …and the way the pants are moving.

WHAT I SAID
I like the pants, but that round thing on the front scream paint-splattered pizza box to me.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Alyssa says it keeps on giving from every single angle, while The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ says it’s fun, and that she loves the exaggerated peplum on the pants. Isaac Mizrahi also loves the avant-garde pants, and the breast-less breastplate, while Jesse Tyler Ferguson calls the round box “Spin Art.”  RuPaul simple wants to “take a chance with pants” and loves that Anthony gave them hips and back.
MERLINE
If ever oh ever there was a week for Merline, this is it; her clothes have long been called Star Trek and Star Wars, so this is her week to really shine, eh? Or, is it her week to make the same dress and same architectural shapes she makes every week.

She is orbit-inspired dress and wants her “shapes to do the talking” but all they’re saying is, “We’ve already done this.”

And even Anne tells her that this challenge is the time for her to really reach and push herself, and she needs that because the dress she’s looking at is something everyone has seen before.

WHAT SHE SAID
She looks strong … it’s the whole package.

WHAT I SAID
It’s the same shapes, the same architecture, the same oddly shaped hem, only this time in white instead of blue or gray.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Isaac Mizrahi says it’s divine in white and could see a whole collection in varying colors. But The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ worries that she’s getting the same dress every week and again warns Merline to expand. Jesse Tyler Ferguson loved that you could see the seaming in the white fabric and RuPaul said the model looked “like a Bond villain.”
JOSHUA
At the planetarium, Joshua sees Pluto and loves the idea of the hard surfaces and the nitrogen ice; he opts to make hot glue ice and hardcore chaps because …. Oh, who the hell knows? But he whines about the gluing and his arm workout and I’m worried his eyebrow pencil will melt and run down his face from the heat and exertion.

Anne is also worried, especially when he tells her he’s also going to make “editorial bondage gear.” Anne sniffs condescendingly and says it’s been done before, and Joshua sniffs slightly more condescendingly and says, “The wheel’s been done, I’m merely adding a spoke.”

I think Anne wants to poke him in the eye with that spoke and I don’t really blame her. He refuses to listen and then finds his fabric palette to be less than complimentary to what I will call, for now, dripping glue pieces.

WHAT HE SAID
This is a true look.

WHAT I SAID
It looks like someone had a bukkake party in the workroom. Cum again?

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ loves the idea of the glue stick but hates the fabrics and doesn’t know if the look needed all the other bits and pieces. She asks Joshua to explain his thoughts behind the look, and he gets pissy, and replies, “That’s it baby. That’s what you’re gonna get.” RuPaul calls it “next level gay s—” and thinks it’s outrageous and crazy and so wrong it’s right. Isaac says the colors are something out of a 1970s motel room that you will not stay in. RuPaul calls it “space queen porno” and Jesse Tyler Ferguson says, “It’s the end of the scene, too.” Alyssa asks why he chose the colors, Joshua sniffs, “It’s literal to the plant.” Alyssa then says they want to see what Joshua is capable of, but not necessarily all in one look, to which he pisses, “This isn’t all I can do … this is what I have today, so either you want to see more—” Alyssa cuts him off, “Let’s move on.” But Isaac gets the laugh word, and laugh, when he says, “It’s one of the ugliest things I’ve seen, so maybe it should win.”
KIMBERLY
She claims to be inspired by a neutron star and how it collapses but she cannot explain it to anyone, even herself. She liked the gold and the orange and the black and there was something about collapsing and …

Anne looks at it and all she can see is the collapse … perhaps of Kimberly’s time on the PR.

WHAT SHE SAID
I like the crystals [but] wish I had more leather.

WHAT I SAID
It looks like a costume from the sequel to ‘Universal Soldier,’ called ‘Universal Hooker.’

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Everyone laughs because even Kimberly cannot explain how her dress resembles a neutron star. Isaac likes some of it but doesn’t think it’s avant-garde. The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ calls it confused and claustrophobic and said it needed to be stronger. Jesse Tyler Ferguson asked if he could buy the top to use as a Christmas Tree skirt and RuPaul said it was reminiscent of a Quentin Tarantino villainess. Isaac then decided that the more he looked at it, the more he liked it, and The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ said that was just because he was “cross” with Joshua.
STANLEY
Stanley wanted to bring a solar eclipse to the runway … too bad he couldn’t have brought it before Joshua’s walked … but also wanted to do separates and simplicity.

Anne liked the separates but worried that the look was too simple to be avant-garde. He tells her to wait and see … and then he creates a kind of horror movie murderer mask, you know, if the murderer had a fashion sense, and I was worried that he was pinning all his avant-garde hopes on a chic face-mask.

WHAT HE SAID
She looks incredible … like a solar eclipse.

WHAT I SAID
It looks so simple. I like it but is it avant-garde.

WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Alyssa called it dreamy, and everyone agreed. The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™ thinks the proportions are “wonderful” and she says the bow “gives her everything.” She was also surprised that, even though the model’s waist was lost, the look still had a beautiful shape. Isaac Mizrahi loved it because avant-garde doesn’t have to be exaggerated, and this look was simple and witty and lighthearted. Jesse Tyler Ferguson thought it too wearable to be avant-garde and said it was something Gwen Stefani would wear to brunch. RuPaul loved the matte fabric saying it didn’t need bling to make a statement.
Stanley, for knowing how to do avant-garde fashion simply and with a face-mask, no less, wins the week, while Kimberly will have to explain why her star has collapsed.

God, I wanted Joshua to go for being so pissy and full of himself. Here’s the real deal, sweetie, if you were a truly great designer you wouldn’t be giving the PR a second chance because you wouldn’t need it. You are a shock monkey and that’s your trick and it’s old. You hate the critiques because they’re wrong? They aren’t; that look was a hot slimy sperm gown over some ugly chaps.  I hope next week is your last.

Now, onto some great lines, and all, once again, from Anthony: as Helen kvetches about the challenge, Anthony says:
“Don’t lose your mind, Helen. Lose this contest, Helen, but don’t lose your mind.”
And then he sips his tea. Then, when Kimberly announces that the designtestants hold a moment of silence for Char, he says:
“Damn, did she die or get eliminated?”
Kimberly reminds him it was just elimination and he adds:
“If they get my ass up out of here, y’all better have a whole damn remembrance.”
Later, watching the looks leave for the runway he says:
“I see Kimberly’s look and her model is ass out, but then I look across the room and see Josh’s look, then I see Helen’s look, and I think to myself, ‘Battle of the streetwalkers.'” 
Snap. But my favorite Anthony-ism was when he studied his look and said:
“Oooooh, you like it Stan?”
And Stanley said:
“I think a little Soul Train cartoon is coming through.”
And as Anthony gives him the Death Star, Stanley reminds him he was just joking, to which Anthony says:
“No, ‘cause the went through you so fast, but after the runway tomorrow, I need to holler at you in the ladies’ room.”
I imagine it would be to congratulate Stanley on his win?

Now, The Tents: Fabio, Ken, Anthony, Stanley … or a combination thereof. Helen? I can’t. Joshua? I won’t. Edmond? I so want to, but it doesn’t look like it’s in the cards.

Lastly, this is for the producers; I like Alyssa Milano, I do. I follow her on Twitter and she’s politically savvy and active and smart and funny. But, BUT, if we could have co-hosts for the show every week and those co-hosts could be Jesse Tyler Ferguson and RuPaul, it would be a smash …especially in combination with Isaac Mizrahi, whom I adore, and The Beautiful Georgina Chapman™.

Just sayin’.

What did YOU think?

3 comments:

the dogs' mother said...

"Jesse Tyler Ferguson and RuPaul, it would be a smash"
yes!! Kimberly's - dear gawd! I know avant-garde isn't
for us normal folks but Kimberly's - AK!
Great recap as always!

Deedles said...

Thanks again for the recap, Bob. My eyes are still a bit furry from their monthly injections, but, it seems the best way to view these monstrosities is thru fuzzy eyeball vision!
The only one I like is Edmonds', Judy Jetson or not. It needs a little color though.

Helen Lashbrook said...

Why does Joshua's model have a collar and tie around her upper thighs? It looks very odd.