Thursday, April 18, 2019


Well, this isn’t so much about Carlos this week, although in the vein of being fully transparent, it’s been a rough week for us at Casa Bob y Carlos, with tempers flaring and feelings hurt. And by a “week” I mean a day and a half because, though we rarely fight, when we do, it’s said and done and over rather quickly, and then we move on.

Still, as I said, this is about me; I’m a faller, in that I’m clumsy and I fall down, not a lot, but when I do …

Years back, living in Miami, I was taking our dog for a walk; we lived in a gated community, so the streets were safe and quiet. As I was returning home, and crossing the street in front of our house, I checked both ways …no cars, no people. I crossed, and in the middle of the road I stepped on a pebble …an actual pea-sized pebble, and down to the ground I went. Then, as I started to stand up, I noticed there were now three cars in the road, all stopping to see the oaf in the road, as well as several groupings of neighbors who’d appeared out of nowhere.

Cut to Smallville … I needed something from the garage, so I stepped down the two steps into the garage, got what I needed, and as I started back into the kitchen, I clearly forgot we had two steps, and hit the bottom one and started to fall through the open doorway. It was all very slo-mo, and I distinctly remember, as I was falling, the one thought that came into my head … God that kitchen floor is ugly.

And now this week, we had a couple of cold night, so I was bundled up in bed, with Tuxedo sleeping on my side as he likes to do. I wanted to turn over and so I gently nudged him off me, apologized for disturbing him, and turned over; but when I reached for my pillow, it wasn’t there. It must have fallen to the floor, so, eyes closed because, in addition to being a faller, I’m an idiot, I reached down to get my pillow not realizing I was lying right on the edge, and fell out of bed, dropping the three feet to the floor.

No harm, no foul, but it did wake Carlos—though how that happened I don’t know because the man sleeps through hurricanes—and he asked what happened and if I was okay. Luckily, I had just bruised my ego and as I got back into bed and was about to doze off, and just as Tuxedo perched himself on my back again, Carlos muttered sleepily:
“Should I get you a crib?”
I was too embarrassed to kill him.
Rightwingnut Brazilian President Jair Bolsonaro—which I believe is Spanish for Donald ____—said he believes that the crimes of the Holocaust can be forgiven, though not forgotten.

More than six million dead, but let’s forgive? Can we also forget that earlier this month, Bolsonaro visited the Holocaust memorial in Jerusalem alongside Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and called Nazism a leftist ideology? Can we forget that, in 1998, as federal deputy in Brazil’s Congress, Bolsonaro defended students at a military school in Porto Alegre who voted for Adolf Hitler, among other figures, as the historic character they admired the most?

No, we can forget; and we won’t forgive.
Jessy Taylor, an Instagram “influencer”—whatever that means—with more than 100,000 followers, had her account reinstated by the site a week after it was removed in error after it kept getting reported as spam.

Taylor complained, with a straight face I imagine, that losing her account felt like “a murder” and because that’s how it felt, she reported the closure of her account to the police who told her she couldn’t compare what happened to a homicide.

Someone needs to lay hands on this girl, because this is a direct quote from Jessy Taylor:
“I’m nothing without my following.”
Oh honey, I have news for you …
And as if we needed proof that Republicans are dumb—some, to be fair, not all—let’s listen to Congressman Thomas Massie questioning John Kerry’s credentials, specifically his college degree, a Bachelor of Arts in Political Science.

Thomas Massie: “It sounds like you’re questioning the credentials of the president’s advisers currently, but I think we should question your credentials today. Isn’t it true you have a science degree from Yale?”

John Kerry: “Bachelor of Arts degree.”

Massie: “Is it a political science degree?”

Kerry: “Yes, political science.”

Massie: “So, how do you get a Bachelor of Arts in a science?”

Kerry: “Well, it’s a liberal arts education and degree … it’s a Bachelor—”

Massie: “OK, so it’s not really science. So, I think it’s somewhat appropriate that someone with a pseudoscience degree is here pushing pseudoscience in front of our committee today.”

Kerry, after a long pause: Are you serious? I mean, this is really a serious happening here?”

It is, because Thomas Massie thinks a Bachelor of Arts in Political Science is some kind of scientific degree. And Thomas Massie is an elected official, y’all.
The fire that destroyed the roof and at least one spire of Notre Dame is out now, but embers of stupidity linger on …

As messages of support and donations to rebuild the iconic structure—nearly a billion dollars pledged so far—came in, our president sent out that Tweet:
“So horrible to watch the massive fire at Notre Dame Cathedral in Paris. Perhaps flying water tankers could be used to put it out. Must act quickly!”
In response, the official Twitter account of the Sécurité Civile—the French equivalent of FEMA—responded:
“Hundreds of firemen of the Paris Fire Brigade are doing everything they can to bring the terrible #NotreDame fire under control. All means are being used, except for water-bombing aircrafts. which, if used, could lead to the collapse of the entire structure of the cathedral.”
American Twitterers also responded, reminding the world, and _____, of his own idiotic responses to devastating fires in California—“Rake the forest”—and his failure to even mention the recent arsonist attacks on three black churches in Louisiana.

Luckily, a real President tweeted his thoughts; Barack Obama said:
“Notre Dame is one of the world’s great treasures, and we’re thinking of the people of France in your time of grief. It’s in our nature to mourn when we see history lost—but it’s also in our nature to rebuild for tomorrow, as strong as we can.”
And then Presidential hopeful, Pete Buttigieg offered his thoughts to the French people, by speaking French:
“Au peuple de France je voudrais dire que la cathédrale Notre Dame, c’était comme un cadeau à l’espèce humaine. Nous partageons la douleur mais nous vous remercions aussi de ce cadeau à la civilisation.”
"To the people of France, I would like to say that Notre-Dame Cathedral was like a gift to the human race. We share the pain, but we also thank you for this gift to civilization."
But hey, water tankers, you know, and thoughts and prayers.
Last week, _____ took on freshman Congresswoman Ilhan Omar over a couple of words in a much longer statement about 9/11; _____ tried to paint Omar as anti-American, and in doing so fanned the flames of his base, when then sent death threats to Omar and her family.

On the upside, though, and perhaps a sign of the times, in the days following _____’s hate speech, Omar raised some $832,000, most of it—$415,000—coming from people who gave less than $200.

People are growing tired of _____’s divisive hate speech … well, except for his racist base.
Remember disgraced former GOP Congressman Aaron Schock? Of the turquoise belt and the Downton Abbey office remodel?

Well, he apparently spent the weekend at Coachella partying with a bunch of hot shirtless gay men, and was ALLEGEDLY intimate with at least one; but here’s the rub … and not the kind of rub that most gay men might want.

While serving as the Illinois Representative, Schock’s voting record was decidedly anti-LGBTQ … he voted against adding ‘sexual orientation, gender identity, gender and disability’ to the federal hate crime protection groups, against the repeal of ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,’ and for the Defense of Marriage Act, which defined marriage as between a man and a woman.

If he’s gay, he’s the worst kind of closeted, hypocritical, sell my community down the river, self-loathing kind of gay. So, when you finally come out Aaron, please note that many of us will remember your hate, for yourself and our community.
Speaking of hateful gays, it looks like Empire actor, and hate crime faker, Jussie Smollett is no longer under consideration for a role in the upcoming Broadway revival of Richard Greenberg’s 2003 play, Take Me Out, about a closeted baseball player.

The Daily Mail reported that producers were ready to announce the casting of Smollett and Zachary Quinto but plans changed following the late January incident in which Smollett ALLEGEDLY faked being attacked in a hate crime.

Again, we know Jussie lied because he said it was two white men; he said he could see the skin around their eyes in the masks they wore. But we also know it was two black men—ALLEGEDLY hired by Smollett-who actually beat him up.

So, Jussie …sorry, not sorry. Until you take responsibility for your actions and explain why two men who knew you attacked you, to me your career is over.

Bye Felicia,
Oh dear … Benjamin Poirier … model, dancer.

The body; the ass; the way he sits nekkid around the house, or perks up a window sill. The dance!

Uh huh.


the dogs' mother said...

“Should I get you a crib?”
(Carlos) :-)

Mistress Maddie said...

Jessy Taylor. Oh.MY.GOD. Someone needs a life.

I was going to say something or other about your trip....but Benjamin erased my mind.

Raybeard said...

In yet another week when eye-rolling is the order of the day, that Massie chappie really takes the biscuit. Even I, an outsider and 'foreigner', recognise the sheer daftness of his final statement. Shame that he can't - or won't.

Sixpence Notthewiser said...

Lmaoooo oh, Carlos. 😎
Ron Perlman on Twitter is a joy.
Thomas Massie is every republican
Can I have a moment alone with Benjamin? And by moment I mean three hours.


Moving with Mitchell said...

It's amazing (i.e., frighteningly tragic) how similar you and I are and Jerry and Carlos are. And Benjamin Poirier? Big deal! Don't you sit around the house nekkid. And I'm sure you've perked up one or two windowsills.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

You know, there's a kink that involves cribs, diapers, baby bottles etc. You could turn this to your advantage if you play your cards right.

Dave R said...

Bolsonaro's having problems, health and political... okay, now I'm waiting for someone to say "oh..."

I believe many will agree - Jessy Taylor is nothing.

They're still laughing at work about the 'flying water tankers.'

Schock and Sollet - two peas from the same rotten pod.

And Ben can Poirer over at my place anytime.

Mistress Maddie said...

I may also add you have to lose respect for gays hanging around, Aaron Schock, also. How could any gays hang around him after selling out the community??? Oh that's right...just to say they got in his pants for some sucky and fucky. We don't want him to come out.....he can stay on the other side of the fence.

anne marie in philly said...

bebe goo.

jessy will always live at home cause "reality is harddddddddd".

fuck aaron, jair, massie, and jussie. let's start a conga line to get with benjamin.