The other night Carlos and I sat down to watch Madam Secretary. Although filmed, I’m sure, months ago, it was an episode directly aimed at _____, and featured three surprising guest stars: Hillary Clinton, Colin Powell, and Madeleine Albright, playing themselves.
But the funniest moment was when one of the characters was undergoing surgery and a doctor came out to tell her parents about it all; he was rather attractive and so I said:
At the precise moment Carlos said:
“Hello Doctor Delgado!”
We looked at each and both said:
“What did you just say?”
Cuz Doctor Delgado was adorable. Carlos then pointed out that he had heard the doctor’s name while I didn’t not, so I replied:
“Who cares about his name! Wheel me into the operating room, Doctor!”
It was surprising since we rarely agree on a good looking man.
After casting her vote the way old white men told her, Maine’s GOP Senator Susan Collins slammed opponents’ efforts to fundraise against her vote to confirm Brett, calling them nothing more than blatant ploys to buy votes in a future election:
“They are asking me to perform an official act and if I do not do what they want, $2 million plus is going to go to my opponent. I think that if our politics has come to the point where people are trying to buy votes and buy positions, then we are in a very sad place. This is a classic quid-pro-quo as defined in our bribery laws.”
Um, actually, you pandering fuck, the people of Maine were telling the Senator who works for them how they wanted you to vote, but you ignored them and cast your lot with fans of sexual predators. And so, as is their right, your constituents will give that money, some $3.5 million to whomever runs against you in 2020.
That’s quite a war chest to start with.
Say Goodnight Susan, cuz you’ll be going home in 2020.
No doubt you’ve heard about the Banksy painting, “Girl With Balloon”, that sold at auction this week for $1.4 million dollars.
As soon as the deal was set, the painting shredded itself in a shredder built into the frame while onlookers gasped.
Banksy, whom no one has seen, is notorious for not loving his art being sold, and so this prank was perfect. Especially given that it appears he was in the room and set off the shredder with a remote control!
Even better? After the shredding the value of the painting allegedly doubled!
Last week Fox News … because, of course … host Greg Gutfeld actually compared the Democratic treatment of Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh, who has been accused of sexual assault, to the crucifixion of Jesus Christ.
Yes, he did.
“Crucifixion was an important event because it was designed to establish a wall between justice and mob rule—Christ died so that the mob wouldn’t survive. What Democrats have tried to do is tear down the wall between justice and mob rule. They decided to crucify someone once again.”
Gutfeld claims to be a religious agnostic. I’m not sure about that, but I know he’s a pandering illiterate dumbass.
Last week, Melanie _____ played with orphaned elephants in Kenya.
Odd, that, since her stepson, Junior, plays with elephants with guns, and then takes pictures of himself holding a severed elephant tail in one hand and a knife in the other during a big game hunting trip in Africa.
PS What was this, some kind of Melanie fashion shoot? I mean, she donned more outfits than Cher during a farewell tour.
Hayward Duresseau contracted eight months ago during a trip to San Francisco to visit his family; as a result, he lost his sight, his hearing, and was paralyzed from the waist down. During a three month stay in the hospital, he was able to regain his sight and mobility, but not his hearing.
Then, with the help of a cochlear implant, Hayward Duresseau was finally able to regain his hearing and the first words he heard those of his partner Kerry Kennedy proposing:
“I wanted the first thing that I said to him to be asking for his hand.”
Duresseau says he was shocked:
“I’m hearing all these click sounds ... and I can hear Kerry, and the first thing that comes out of his mouth — it’s this big spiel about what we’ve been through and he’s down on one knee.”
The Big Baby in the White House hates protestors—at least the ones who protest him—and now wants to limit the right to demonstrate near the White House and on the National Mall.
I guess the protests disrupt the Fat Bastard’s nap?
The proposal would close 80 percent of the White House sidewalk, put limits on spontaneous demonstrations, and open the door to charging fees for protesting … I wonder who would get the money for that?
Seriously, we need to shut this Mushroom Dick—see what I did there—tator down.
So, there’s a TV show called God Friended Me, about an atheist who is getting friend suggestions from, um, God, and then realizes he needs to help them.
It really isn’t a show I gravitate too, you know, all touchy feely and happy ending and shiz, but … it does star the adorable Brandon Micheal Hall—yes, that’s the correct spelling—and the equally adorbs Suraj Sharma.
It’s kind of nice to see people of color represented on TV, especially the cute kind, but does this mean I’m getting soft in my older age?
F**k that! Just sayin’.