Meme Dump

Oh Melanie ... You Have Some 'Splaining To Do

Last week Melanie popped into the White House unannounced to tell the press that she knows “nut-ting” about Epstein in a long-winded rant that only seemed to suggest she knew a lot more than she was saying:

“I have never been friends with Epstein.”

And yet there are so many photos of Melanie and the pedophile and his enabler Ghislaine Maxwell looking oh so cozy. And she says her email correspondence with Maxwell was only causal but that begs the question, why sign the emails, “Love, Melania”? That doesn’t sound casual.

And it doesn’t explain why she felt the need to commandeer the podium in the Press Room and plead her case. And doesn’t explain why she decided to talk to the press, but not take one single question, on a topic her husband calls a “hoax.”

Is she throwing Cankles under the bus and, if so, why?

Coins. She wants a new pre-nup so she took her story to the press in the hopes that her husband john would put some more dough in her offshore bank accounts. I mean, she sees the grift and she wants her cut.

Her so-called “brand.” She knows that once her husband john leaves the White House she’ll be on her own and she’s trying to protect her brand of … bad hats and Botox?

Her image? Her image was tarnished the very moment she wore that ‘I Don’t Care, Do U’ jacket and continued when she was caught on tape saying, ‘Fuck Christmas.’

She said Epstein did not introduce her to Cankles, that they just met at a party … for Faux-Billionaires and Sloveneina Hooker Mail Order Brides? And what about the recordings of Epstein bragging that he was Cankles’ “closest friend for 10 years” and claiming that the first time Cankles’ schtupped Melanie it was on Epstein’s infamous “Lolita Express” plane?

What about that Mel? And what about her degrees? Although her 2016 Republican National Convention biography claimed she earned a degree in design and architecture from a university in Slovenia, reports confirmed she dropped out after her first year to pursue a “modeling” career in Milan and Paris … and on an island somewhere.

Come clean, girl, because now a group of Democrats on the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee are calling on Melanie to testify before Congress as part of their probe into the crimes of convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein:

“If the First Lady wants to clear her name, she should come before the Oversight Committee and testify under oath.”

Just like Hillary Clinton did, so Melanie, slap on a lampshade and head off to Capitol Hill to explain all the tomfuckery … well, the Tom, Dick and Harry et al Fuckery.

The Funny Papers

Gary Huck, Chris Britt, Rick McKee, Bill Bramhall, Max Espinoza, Matt Wuerker, Dennis Goris, Michael de Adder, Nick Anderson, Lalo Alcaraz, Matt Davies, Pedro X Molina, Clay Bennett, Benjamin Slyngstad

Why Is It ...

… that one day, when my boss said to me, “You didn’t listen to a single thing I just said,” I replied, “That’s a weird way to start a conversation.”

… that nothing inspires the words “Fuck off” more than someone telling me to watch my language.

… that this getting old thing is taxing; I blacked out for twenty minutes this morning before I realized I’d put my hoodie on backwards.

… that another day has gone by and I have still never used (a + b)² = a² + 2ab + b²

… that the best way to hang up on someone is in the middle of your own sentence because that way they will never suspect you hung up on them

… that I am not much for seizing the day when you can just poke it with a stick!

… that when my mind goes quiet I instantly suspect that I am up to something I don’t want me to know about.

… that whenever one door closes I want to get a hammer and nails to make sure that bitch stays shut.

… that based on how I react when the toast pops out of the toaster, I will never look cool walking away from an explosion.

… that today I found a new work recipe … 1 cup of cluster and 1 cup of fuck.

I Didn't Say It ...

Mark Kelly, Democrat Senator from Arizona, on Cankles’ threat to bomb Iran's civilian infrastructure:

“If those words become orders to destroy civilian infrastructure with no valid military purpose, it’s hard to see how they would not violate the laws of armed conflict. America leads best with strength, discipline, and professionalism. Illegal orders to make civilians suffer would be a black mark on our military and our country. ‘A whole civilization will die tonight' are words no President of the United States had ever spoken until this morning. [His] behavior is unhinged and making Americans less safe. After a 25-year career in the United States Navy, I have never met or served with anyone who so completely lacks the qualities of good leadership as [Cankles] does. If the President takes the actions he has threatened to take, countless Iranian civilians will die, it will massively escalate this war, and the United States will be seen as a country without a moral or ethical compass. That will make Americans less safe right now and risk the lives of thousands of service members. The consequences will have a lasting and damaging effect on our nation. [His] mistakes have led us to this perilous moment, but the solution is not to escalate even further. This must stop."

And the best way to stop it is to have the GOP strap on their balls and stand up for America against the lunatic. But since that’s unlikely to happen with the spineless GOP, then then next best plan is to Vote Blue No Matter who in the midterms and if Cankles hasn’t destroyed the country and/or the world, then we can remove him from office, try and convict him, and lock him up.

photo

Jasmine Crockett, Democrat Representative from Texas, of the firing of incompetent women from the regime, but keeping the incompetent men:

“Well, first it was Kristi Noem, now it’s Pam Bondi … it would be too much … that Pete [Hegseth] be next. I see a theme. He will throw the incompetent women under the bus a lot faster than the incompetent men. Let’s just agree that America needs a ‘do over.’ The President nominated these awful people, the Republican-controlled Senate confirmed them, and well … too many people thought we should give this much power to the pussy grabbing, 6-times bankruptcy filing, 34 count convicted felon bestie of Epstein.”

Cankles will always sacrifice the women in favor of his buddies so, again, let’s get Democrats in office and impeach DUI Pete and get him locked up, too.

photo

Yassamin Ansari, Democrat Representative from Arizona, on introducing articles of impeachment against Secretary of War Crimes and DUI Hire Pete Hegseth:

“What we have seen out of [The Regime] over this weekend has been absolutely horrifying and gut-wrenching. The threats against Iranian civilian infrastructure and the entire country of Iran are unreal and apocalyptic. Today, [Cankles] said, quote, the entire country could be taken out in one night, and that night might be tomorrow night. That was his quote. Iran is a country of 90 million people. Threatening them with annihilation is a monstrous war crime and puts them and American service members and Americans at grave risk. It also only serves the interests of the Islamic Republic regime, further entrenching their power, providing them with a convenient boogeyman while punishing the civilian population. As a chief enabler of this illegal war, Pete Hegseth is responsible for directing this insane military action against Iran, which has already killed thousands of civilians, led to the unnecessary deaths of American service members and displaced over a million people in the region. That's why I'm introducing articles of impeachment against Hegseth for repeatedly violating his oath of office and the constitution, including the disregard of Congress and willful targeting of civilian infrastructure in Iran, like water desalination plants, like hospitals, like schools and bridges. As the top official in the Department of War, Pete Hegseth has the duty to comply with the laws, lead by example for other military officials, and uphold his commitment to the Constitution above all else. He has done none of that. Instead, he has trampled on the most fundamental principles upon which the United States was founded upon, including the separation of powers, congressional oversight, and respect for the rule of law. That's why I'm calling for Pete Hegseth's impeachment and removal from office immediately.”

Ansari  is the only Iranian-American in Congress and is standing for her Iranian people and her American people, protecting both from a drunk warmonger. Pete has often said he wants to “kill Muslims” and now he is getting his way and is firing our generals in order to increase his control over the military and ensure his loyalists hold top positions.

Hegseth is the real terror threat against this country and needs to be removed.

photo

Pope Leo, on Cankles’ threat to wipe out Iran's civilization:

"Today, as we all know, there was this threat against the entire ​people of Iran, and this is truly unacceptable. There are certainly issues of international law here, but even more, it is a moral question concerning the good of the people as a whole, in its entirety … I would invite the citizens of all the countries involved to contact the authorities, political leaders, congressmen, to ask them—tell them to work for peace and to reject war always. Attacks on civilian infrastructure is against international law ... it is also a sign of the hatred, the division, the destruction that the human being is capable of."

I am no fan of the Catholic Church which has long its demons free rein within the church, but I will stand with them against the idea of destroying an entire civilization that has done nothing to me, has not threatened me.

photo

Andy Beshear, Kentucky Democrat Governor, after SCOTUS struck down Colorado’s ban on "conversion therapy" for minors:

"The Supreme Court is absolutely wrong. Torture is never free speech. It’s just torture. And faith has been used at different times to try to justify torture, and it’s always, always been wrong. If [the court] is going to show people hate, a governor's there to show them love. If [the court] is there to show them judgment, a governor's there to show them acceptance. We should always be in the suicide prevention business. Never in the suicide causing business … We should always stand up for our convictions, and we should always push back against discrimination. I don't like bullies, and so I'm always going to push back. I believe all children are children of God and I don't want people out there picking on kids, especially kids that already feel marginalized or at higher risk for suicide. [The Bible] says, 'Love your neighbor as yourself, not love your neighbor, unless.' I see you. I care about you. I know this hurts, but there are people out there that support you and want to lift you up. You are not alone. We have to elect people that are against discrimination. We have to create a check on the [regime] because right now Congress is not doing its job … I'm going to continue to stand with our LGBTQ+ community until everyone's rights are recognized and this current discrimination, especially by the very top of our federal government, ends."

Beshear is putting it in the simplest terms where it can make the most sense. Listen and understand; you don’t have to ‘understand’ trans but you have to treat all people with respect.

It’s just that simple.

photo

Bobservations

Carlos came to the breakfast table the other morning and said:

“I have made an Executive Decision—”

“You cannot do that.”

“Why?”

“All Executive Decision are made by me, though you have the ability to make an Executive Suggestion and submit it through proper channels.”

“And then what happens?”

“I ignore it and make an Executive Decision.”

He seemed shocked and awed by my logic and I don’t know why, though I did make an Executive Decision not to have this conversation again.

This Tale of Tuxedo comes from March 2009:

A Sunday Tuxedo—clockwise from top let—raises his eyes toward Heaven and prays to the cat gods that there will be fish for dinner. And when he realizes it'll be a dish of dry stuff like every day, he pouts, and then does his best Camille impression. And lastly he poses as Tuxedo of the Jungle....or Bond, Tuxedo Bond. 

Camden is growing, though maintaining it's small-town appeal, and one of the bigger projects will be the King Haigler Hotel, a 51-room boutique hotel,  taking over the space where the old opera house and clock tower, built in 1886, stand.

That’s Broad Street up there looking south towards the Opera House and clock tower in 1951.

And here’s a view from Rutledge Street side of the building and the clock tower, also in the 1950s.

And here’s the building with just the tower standing and the hotel construction beginning around it.

I was glad they saved the clock tower and made it the focal point of new construction and cannot wait for the hotel to open.

Take note of the silence of the pro-life folks when their president threatened genocide, to kill innocent, civilian, men, women, and children and destroy an entire civilization.

The cult is real … stupid.

And then here we have a mural downtown that features the Kershaw-Cornwallis House, a Georgian mansion that dominates the grounds of Historic Camden and the Revolutionary War Park. Once the home of local businessman and patriot Joseph Kershaw who arrived in the colonies before 1748 and worked for a merchant in Charleston before moving to this settlement—then called Pine Tree Hill. The proximity to the Great Wagon Road and the Wateree River made for easy distribution of goods traveling between coastal Charleston and the backcountry frontier.

Kershaw established a store called Kershaw and Company and, in time, built flour and grist mills, indigo works, a tobacco warehouse, a distillery, and a brewery. His efforts helped turn the town into a commercial hub and he was instrumental in creating a plan of streets and lots in Pine Hill, which became the village of Camden, now the Oldest Inland City in South Carolina.

I was going through my phone and found that picture of the dear departed MaxGoldberg and Tuxedo napping in “their” chair in the sunroom so peacefully.

And then I found that picture of Max with his crooked mouth—after he’d had a couple of teeth removed—looking quizzically at me. Oh I miss the mug on that cat!

Garrett Swan is a 57-year-old actor and art director, known for Fashion House, Unusually Thicke, and Sex, Lies, and Sugar, all of which beg the question: Would You Hit It?