I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

I have no clue who country singer Sam Hunt is, but in that photo up there he is giving me low rent country Chris Evans and I am kinda here for it. But Sam isn’t here for that, just like he’s no longer there for his marriage.

Sam Hunt went from a college football career to a country singer with his debut album, Montevallo, which was all about his love for his high school sweetheart-turned-wife, Hannah Lee Fowler. And that sounds sweet except that this week, while pregnant with the couple’s first child, Hannah filed for divorce because Sam ALLEGEDLY suffered from that age old malady Wandering Dick Syndrome.

Sad, except that in his songs, Sam has often admitted what a messy human he is; he once released a song entitled “Drinking Too Much,” and even wrote a song about cheating on his wife. And now it’s divorce after 17 years together, five of those as a married couple. And, while not a singer or songwriter, Hannah has really laid out some nice verses about Sam, claiming he is “guilty of inappropriate marital conduct,” “guilty of adultery,” and “guilty of such cruel and inhuman treatment or conduct toward the spouse as renders cohabitation unsafe or improper.”

Ouch. Hannah, six months pregnant with the couple’s first child, is asking that “all parties be awarded their respective separate property” though she wants custody of their child; oh, and she got really specific about alimony … she wants transitional, while the divorce works itself out, and rehabilitative, for when she works on herself, and future alimony.

There’s no word on how Hannah found out about his recent cheating blitz, and if it was a one-time thing or a recurrence of his, um, condition. We may get the details,  however, when Sam inevitably releases a tell-all album about all of this.

I mean, come on, my high school girlfriend marries me, I get drunk, she gets pregnant, I cheat and a divorce blows up? That has awards written all over it except … for a hot minute it was announced that Hannah called off the divorce, but then that minute passed and we learned that Hannah Lee Fowler’s lawyers fucked up and filed for divorce in the wrong jurisdiction and have since filed in the right county.

So, it’s on!

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Do you understand the geopolitical issues surrounding the Russia/Ukraine conflict as Russian President Vladimir Putin declared parts of Ukraine independent? If not let’s take a moment to let our resident expert on such situations break it down for you. Take it away, Cardi B!

Cardi took to Twitter about the ongoing Russia/Ukraine crisis, calling out “world leaders” for sanctioning each other and fighting wars while citizens suffer. A lot of the Twitterverse assumed Cardi was hac\ked, but, oh Hell no. Cardi got right back on there to declare via video:

“This phone is not hacked, it’s really me! I actually want to say a lot of things, but I’m just gonna mind my business because sometimes, I feel like I have such a big platform that if I don’t say the right things, I might get killed.”

Yes, Cardi B knows so many details about the Russia-Ukraine situation that if she says too much she will be assassinated. I mean, listen to her:

“I’m really not on NATO’s side, I’m really not on Russian side, I’m actually in the citizens’ side, because at the end of the day, the world is having a crisis right now. This inflation not only in America, but everywhere in the world! It’s really hard to get the economy back up. There is so much shipments and embarkments backed up, China’s not really messing with us, so a lot of things are behind, a lot of goods are behind, and this s–t just made it a lot more complicated, so I’m just really annoyed by this. And I really wish all world leaders right now, just really come to the logical conclusion, but whatever.”

Seriously. I’ll believe her when she points out Russia and Ukraine on a map. Hell, have her find America.

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Back in 2016, Courteney Cox admitted to something that anyone with two eyes, hell, anyone with one good eye, or even blind people with a seeing eye dog could see: that she has had many cosmetic procedures. Courteney said she regretted her choices and in 2017 announced she was “filter-free.” Now, in 2022, with a new TV show to promote and nothing else much to talk about, Cox is back again to talk surgeries and Botox and such.

Courteney says that back in the day she was chasing her youth, and didn’t realize how strange all the cosmetic procedures made her look:

“There was a time when you go, ‘Oh, I’m changing. I’m looking older.’ And I tried to chase that [youthfulness] for years, and I didn’t realize that, oh shit, I’m actually looking really strange with injections and doing stuff to my face that I would never do now.”

Did no one sit her ass down in front of a mirror?

But then she began reading what people were saying about her face and she says she realized she had “to stop. That’s just crazy.”

Crazy like she could’a played The Joker in one of the many Batman reboots without a lot of time in the make-up chair.

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We all know Kanye Ye is nuts, and we’ve all read about his attacks on just about everyone, But his former mother-in-law? That Woman. The one he once called “Kris Jong-un? He likes her, he really likes her! He actually calls her a “hero” though he declares that her boyfriend, Corey Gamble is “godless.”

But then he revealed his list of all the people he hates at the moment. I saw it when a note was passed to me in  homeroom, and I passed it along for the rest of the elementary school kids to read.

Let’s break it down: Ye hates his ex-wife’s current boyfriend, Pete Davidson, whom he affectionately calls “Skete,” He hates Kid Cudi for calling Ye a “dinosaur” and he still hates Taylor Swift and Drake, and has added his current nemesis, Billie Eilish, to the list, along with shoe brand Nike, and … wait for it, it’s sooooooo Ye … Peppa Pig. Here’s Ye in his own, rambling, nonsensical words:

“Come on guys…This list is twice as long. You gotta put Apple Spotify Vivendi Universal Lucien Grange Tik Tok Black History Month Obama the whole cast of SNL Hillary Clinton the Devil himself Corey Gamble Bezos Charlamagne Disney Librals. And of course Skete and any and all corny shit in general. Can somebody from Chicago let these people know what Skete meant when we was growing up It’s up for everybody!!!!! Wow. Being rich is fun!!!!”

Seriously. He’s like the male Cardi B. Maybe the two should get together and run for office?

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