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You read about these celebrity divorces and the things they fight over … cars, homes, embryos, horse semen.
Wait, you didn’t know? It looks like William Shatner recently finalized his divorce from Emily, his wife of eighteen years. Shatner had Emily sign a pre-nup to keep her hands off his Star Trek coins, but she’ll get some money, don’t you worry; what she won’t get, though, is the horse semen.
Shatner gets two of the former couple’s horses, Renaissance Man’s Medici and Powder River Shirley, along with two dogs, Macchiato and Double Espresso, and has asked for, and will receive, “all horse semen” and horse equipment used for breeding the animals. Elizabeth, meanwhile, got horses Belle Reve’s So Photogenic and Pebbles in the settlement, but no cum. She will get two homes, one in Malibu Cove and one is Versailles, Kentucky.
But again, the horse semen stays with Shatner.
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Over the weekend, Oprah Winfrey took her Oprah Presents Oprah’s 2020 Oprah Vision: Oprah Says Get Your Oprah Life in Oprah Focus …. Oprah, to LA and spoke to her minions about finding balance in your life––even when you are a billionaire—when it happened …
Oprah lost her balance and tumbled to the ground.
Karma, sitting in the back row, stood up and cheered.
Oprah then blamed it on her shoes, and then sent her flying monkeys out to buy a shoe factory so she could sell them at intermission and make some more coins.
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Maroon 5 performed at the Viña del Mar festival in Chile last week and it was ALLEGEDLY the worst concert ever performed by a bunch of aging wannabes. In fact, it was so awful Adam Levine, head wannabe, took to social media to apologize.
It all began when Maroon 5 was late to the performance, and two TV presenters had to kill time until they decided to show up; and then, while they, um, for lack of a better word, “performed” She Will Be Loved the audience started singing along and Adam got all pissy and shrieked, er, sang … I kid, I mean shrieked:
“Well, if you want to do my job, go ahead.”
After his tantrum and the pitiful performance, Levine apologized in an Instagram Story, blaming it all on sound issues—meaning, he knows the band sounds bad—saying:
“I’d really like to address reactions to the concert and kind of explain myself because I feel like you guys deserve that You know, being in a band you play a lot of shows and I am so passionate and excited about concerts and about being my best and about the band being our best, and being our best for you guys, honestly, you know. Performing I take so seriously. Sometimes too seriously. And to be totally frank, there were some things holding me back sonically last night. And I let them get to me, and it impacted how I was behaving on stage, which was unprofessional, and I apologize for that. I struggled a lot and sometimes it’s really hard for me to mask the struggle. For that, I did let you guys down and I apologize. Last night wasn’t our best and, for that, all I can say is that I’m really sorry.”
First off, be sorry for that haircut.
Second off, don’t be sorry, be gone.
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And speaking of old lady’s taking a tumble …
Madonna fell off a chair last week at Le Grand Rex in Paris and needed to be helped back up into her chair. And, because of that fall, Madonna cancelled one of her Paris shows.
Meanwhile, the chair has been sent to the rubbish bin where it sits mournfully next to Oprah’s old shoes.:
Seriously, these two broads better be careful. A broken hip is a dangerous thing.
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Model Paulina Porizkova was married to, but separated from, singer Ric Ocasek, when he passed away. And, apparently, because they were estranged, Ocasek left Paulina out of thee will and she is not taking this sitting down.
She wants his coins.
In an interview for CBS Sunday Morning, Paulina says that she felt “incredibly hurt” after being left out of Ric’s will following his sudden death in September 2019:
“I would love to be able to be sad and miss him. And not also feel this incredible hurt and betrayal. It made the grieving process really, really tricky.”
Wow. She wants to be sad and miss him, but she can’t do that without getting something in the will?
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