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After her arrest last weekend for being a drunk trying to have sex in someone else’s hotel room, and shrieking at the police, “I will fucking kill you all,” Luann de Lesseps made a New Year’s resolution: to go to rehab:
“After the events of last Saturday night in Palm Beach, I am truly embarrassed. I have decided to seek professional guidance and will be voluntarily checking into an alcohol treatment center. I intend to turn this unfortunate incident into a positive life changing event. Once again, I sincerely apologize for my actions. I have the greatest respect for police officers and the job they do. My actions alleged in the police report do not reflect my core values and my law-abiding character. I am so grateful for the love and support that I am receiving from my family, friends and loyal supporters.”
Funny, she didn’t think to seek rehab after spending an entire episode of RHoNY drinking so much she fell off a patio ... twice.
And she postponed her rehab so she could perform her nightclub act, so clearly, it’s not a priority.
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Rumer Willis, what were you thinking?
She’s having a tattoo removed; a tattoo removed, a tattoo of her and Dancing With the Stars’ Val Chmerkovskiy embracing that she had inked on her arm after they won the show.
Now, the odd thing is, there was never a romance between the pair, but Rumer inked herself anyway, until she learned that Chmerkovskiy had started dating fellow DWTS pro Jenna Johnson.
She wasn’t as upset, though, when Chmerkovskiy dated Amber Rose for a half minute, but this relationship with Johnson made her rethink the ink and go under the laser.
Perhaps, next time, she should think before inkcuz that's a big ass tat.
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Oh, Mariah Carey did try and redeem herself after last year’s d-s-sastrous New Year’s Eve performance when she basically tottered around the stage on her high heels like a lost Times Square hooker.
So, this year she performed again, and while she did remember the words to her own songs, she sounded a bit like veteran character actor Broderick Crawford while she warbled through Hero.
But, the best part was when she went in search of a cup of hot tea to sip on and when she couldn’t find it, she declared that to be a real disaster:
“Happy New Year, I just want to take a sip of tea, if they let me. They told me there would be tea…Oh! It’s a disaster. Okay, well, we’ll just have to rough it. I’m going to be like everybody else, with no hot tea.”
Says the woman wrapped in a fur court to the crowd who waited outside in the frigid temperatures for hours to hear her croak a tune.
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Speaking of divas, Taylor Swift’s latest album, Reputation, returned to the #1 spot on Billboard charts over Christmas, which probably made her squee with delight, but …
As for the Reputation Tour, fans are pissed off by the jacked-up prices to watch TayTay lip-sync-and-dance.
Ticketmaster confirms that none of the dates has sold out yet, because, while her last tour saw ticket prices of $150 this time Swifty wants her fans to cough up $500 to hear her sing.
Which is about $499.99 too much.
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Hoda Kotb made history by landing sexual predator Matt Lauer’s old Today Show gig, but she isn’t making nearly as many coins as the perv.
Kotb will make about $18 million less per year than Lauer, which I guess means if you sexually harass women you get a huge check, but if you are a woman, well, here’s some scraps.
Still, Kotb’s $7 million a year check is about a third of what NBC is paying Megyn Kelly, who is about the worst thing to hit the network since Matt Lauer installed that self-locking door in his office.
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In other Swifty news, maybe it looks like one of Taylor’s Girl Squad or Posse or Gang or whatever it is they call themselves, has been deprogrammed and joined the rest of us in the real world … or, worse for Swift, in Katy Perry’s world.
Former Swift BFF Karlie Kloss posted a photo to Instagram that may … or may not … have used lyrics from that Swifty’s archrival Katy Perry’s classic Swish Swish.
If you don’t remember … and who doesn’t … Swish Swish was Katy’s clapback at Swifty’s Bad Blood, a ditty about mean girls who steal backup dancers from blow-up kewpie dolls.
And that’s the word Karlie used in her Instagram post, and that clearly signaled the end of Karlie and TayTay 4 Evah.
Especially when Swifty’s army of prepubescent teen girls and boys went after Karlie for the double swish.
Seriously.
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We learned that Hoda Kotb will be doing Matt Lauer’s old job, but for many, many, many millions of dollars less, but there’s more about the creeper Lauer.
Apparently, the out of work pervert has been firing off notes to producers of The Today Show offering up his unsolicited feedback on the latest episodes … like the email he recently sent a producer saying that he felt they had used the wrong music to kick off a segment.
I know; he’s run out of town for sexual harassing and abusing women, his wife has left him, and taken the kids, but he sits alone in his Hamptons manse stroking his Little Matt and watching the Today show looking for things that bother him.
Howsabout looking in a mirror, asshat?
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