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A few years ago, musician Phil Collins went through an ugly
divorce with Orianne Cevey. He was granted a divorce but she refused to leave
the marital home until he had her removed, and then they got back together, though
they remained divorced. But it was while they were living together as a couple, and
while Phil was on tour, that Orianne met and secretly married Thomas Bates in
Las Vegas. The happy couple then took over Phil’s Miami house “‘by a show of
force’ with armed guards who surrounded the property” and tried to have Phil
evicted. But, once again, after a year, Phil had the lovebirds removed from his
home, and suddenly Orianne was no longer happy with Thomas—who says she
threatened to chop off his dick—and she filed for divorce. And it’s through those divorce papers that we learn Orianne
“ordered” Thomas through an escort service where he was, ahem, advertised as a
“sexy intellectual” according to the divorce paperwork: “At the time the parties met, Husband was employed by an escort service …. The Wife selected Husband through the escort service and insisted on dating him. The parties’ relationship rapidly progressed into a meaningful romantic relationship. Wife persuaded Husband to leave the escort service to marry her.” Sadly, after getting the boot from Phil, Orianne posted the
news of her divorce from Thomas on Instagram: “I am filing for divorce from my husband, Thomas Bates. I believe the emotional distress of the COVID quarantine caused me to act in ways and do things that were out of character. Fortunately, I have faced challenging situations before and like I always have, I will muster the strength I can, the best team I can find and the courage to do the right thing.” Part of that strength is gathered from entering Phil’s home—dammit,
man, change the locks already—to auction off things in her life that no longer “sparked
joy” … like Phil’s gold records, Phil’s awards, and 5,000 pairs
of Phil’s shoes. But all is not lost for Thomas, as he still has his dick and
his escort resume, and because he and Orianne married with no prenup, the money
she earns from purging her less joyous possessions is half his. Until he finds another wife. |
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Yes, I know, The Slap was the big news at the 94th Academy
Awards but the Second Biggest News was Liza In A Wheelchair pushed onstage
by Lady Gaga. But was that all that we thought it was, or not? The appearance
of Liza Minnelli in that state caused many to worry about her physical state, but maybe
the wheelchair was a second choice. According to Liza’s friend and frequent
collaborator, Michael Feinstein, Liza wasn’t happy with her appearance. Appearing
on SIriusXM’s Jess Cagle Show Feinstein says Liza’s back has
been giving her problems and she asked to appear onstage in a director’s chair
alongside Gaga when the curtain opened, but just five minutes before she was
set to present the Pest Picture award, a stage manager told her she had to use
a wheelchair. Liza initially said, “Fuck That!” and was prepared to come
out on her own but Feinstein says she was forced into the wheelchair: “She was nervous. I mean, and it made her look like she was out of it. And she was just so shaken up that it was. Can you imagine being suddenly forced to be seen by millions of people the way you don’t wanna be seen? That’s what happened to her.” Really, Michael? Liza Effing Minnelli asks for a director’s chair
and they couldn’t find one in all of Hollywood, but they just happened to have
a wheelchair at the ready? Try again. |
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In 2017, Blac Chyna, who had a baby and a TV show—Rob &
Chyna—with Rob Kardastrophe filed a lawsuit against the entire Kardastrophe-Jenner
family—The Woman, Kourtney, Kim, Khloé, Kendall, Kylie, and Rob—over claims
of assault, battery, domestic violence, defamation and interference with
prospective economic relations. Chyna, whose real name is Angela White, ALLEGED that Rob
is an abuser intent on destroying Angela White, the mother of his child, and
she says that, in revenge, the Kardastrophe-Jenner family became media
predators, slut-shaming her on social media and killing her hit television show
[‘Rob & Chyna’] which had already begun filming a second season. And so now
Chyna wants $40 million for loss of earning damages and $60 million in loss of
future earning capacity damages. But the best part is that, as the trial began, Kim, Khloé,
Kylie and That Woman, appeared in the courtroom during jury selection;
even better, they were left unprepared for what potential jurors think of them. These Four Whores of the Apocalypse did not like it when their
lawyer, Michael Rhodes, asked a group of potential jurors if they had strong
positive or negative feelings toward reality television. One man says he’d never watched Keeping Up with the Kardastrophes
but: “I have watched [Kim] Kardastrophe’s sex tape, and I don’t think I can be impartial on this case.” The response elicited a roar of laughter from the other
potential jurors, though the K’s were less than amused. Kim was ALLEGEDLY very
upset, but then, you know, don’t lay flat on your back, heels to Jesus, letting
your boyfriend ride you like a rodeo clown, and don’t drop to your knees to
worship Dick, and film, and then let your mother sell that tape to a porn company
to jumpstart your career, m’kay? Several other people said they knew only about the K’s because
their kids watch the show and follow them on social media, while one juror
admitted it would be difficult to be impartial because he doesn’t like reality
TV and wished the show “wasn’t on any longer.” Here are more juror comments:
And it’s only going to worse for the K’s once the trial
actually starts because Blac Chyna will say anything to get those 100 million
coins. |
