Bobservations

We eat a lot of fruit at Casa Bob y Carlos, especially for breakfast; we’ve always got blueberries, boysenberries, strawberries,  fresh pineapple, bananas and more on hand. The other morning, as I was fixing a bowl of fruit for myself, I said to Carlos:

“Have one of these bananas because they’re getting overly ripe.”

“I will.”

Cut to the next morning and that same banana is in the bowl and so I said:

“I thought you we’re going to eat that banana.”

“I was but I forgot so I’ll have it today.”

“Okay, but if you don’t have it today, I’ll shove it up your ass.”

“Oooooooooooh!”

“It’s kinda mushy.”

“Oh.”

Yes, that passes for breakfast conversation at Casa Bob y Carlos.

This post is from August 2021 and is less Tuxedo Says and more Tuxedo Did What, and is entitled “Oh No He Di’in’t”:

We had a bit of excitement around Casa Bob y Carlos yesterday. And by excitement, I mean, Carlos was almost murdered, and by murdered I mean I almost killed Carlos.

I decided to mow the lawns, and so I was out in the yard tooling around on the mower, with my phone in my pocket, ear buds in my ears, listening to music, and no doubt singing along and aloud to that music. I spotted Carlos cleaning up some branches that had fallen from a tree--we have a "Tree Guy" coming this week to "branch up" the trees--and wandering with Ozzo. My next pass around the yard and they were gone. My third pass around the yard was when I saw it ...

I thought it was Ozzo, still outside and roaming the yard, but upon closer inspection ... IT.WAS.TUXEDO. Carlos had obviously opened a door, and even in his old, creaky boned, wobbly legs state, Tuxedo left the building for the front yard. Luckily, because, again, even in his old, creaky boned, wobbly legs state, Tuxedo wandered to the big gate, which was open to get the mower through to the front yard for mowing and strolled around the back yard. And, again, even in his old, creaky boned, wobbly legs state, Tuxedo didn't hear the mower, and wasn't afraid and as I turned the engine off and dismounted ... scoring perfect tens across the board ... he came walking up to me as if to say:

"Look at me Daddy! I'm outside by myself."

I scooped him up and started toward the small gate to get him back inside, when Carlos rounded the corner; I said:

"Look who I found wandering the back yard!"

"How did he get out?"

Clearly, Carlos thinks Tuxedo has a key.

He dodged a bullet that day. Literally.

Did I understand all of the words of Bad Bunny's Super Bowl halftime show? No, but I understood the message and that’s what matters.

PS While roughly 5 million people watched Turning Point Media’s alternative halftime show AKA The Toilet Bowl, some 135 million watched and danced and smiled at Bad Bunny’s show.

Now, onto Stupid People Tweeting:

That one is from of those devout Christians who wouldn’t know the Bible from a Reader’s Digest, and here we have MAGAt superhero, Jerkules himself, Kevin Sorbo:

Idiots.

A little humor I found on the webs … and I will paraphrase it … my husband just bought a garden gnome for the yard. I named it Kristi Gnome cuz it’s hollow, artificial and my dog is terrified of it.

And speaking of Kristi’s ICEstapo … Just this past week, a US citizen in Salem, Oregon suffered a concussion, torn rotator cuff and bruised ribs after ICE officers boxed her in and smashed her car window.

After they dragged her from the car they discovered her passport in her purse and then left the scene without a care about her injuries or their brutality.

Abolish ICE.

The Lake Theater & Café in Lake Oswego, Oregon says Amazon pulled the new film “Melanie: From Whore House to White House” from screening after the theater’s  marquee offered its own descriptions of the film; one read—"Does Melanie wear Prada? Find out Friday”—and up there is another version.

The Lake Theater & Café is known for crafting witty, creative descriptions of its films on its sign and so when Amazon yanked Melanie away from them, they posted a new marquee:

Federico Cola is a 37-year-old Italian-born model who works Giorgio Armani, Andrea Marcaccini, La Gazzetta dello Sport, and Fendi but does that really matter or is it just Would You Hit It?

Bobservations

First off, thanks everyone for the birthday wishes. Tuesday was the day of my birth, but the celebration is a weeklong event. Carlos gifted me a day to myself on Tuesday as he had a conference to attend in Columbia and we will celebrate with a meal at one of our favorite restaurants in Asheville this weekend IF it doesn’t snow as predicted; in that case we’ll dine closer to home … 

So this past weekend we waited for The Storm. They said snow on Saturday with sub-freezing temperatures and then an ice storm on Sunday taking out trees and knocking out power.

Yeah; not so much. We got about an inch of snow that was gone before noon and then ice storm apparently melted before it arrived but …

On Sunday it was quite cold and Carlos decided to practice his trumpet in the sunroom with two of the four sliders open to the 20-degree air.

This from the man who drops an F-bomb every morning that the temperature is 35-degrees or less.

This from the man who sleeps under five blankets while wearing three pairs of socks, long underwear, sweatpants and a sweater.

But standing in a 20-degree sunroom? Now it was my turn for the F-bombs!

This Tuxedo Says is from August 2021 ...

Tuxedo watches a lot of CNN—like his daddy he has a wee crush on Anderson Cooper, whom he calls his Owner-In-My-Head … where does he come up with these things—and is amazed at the way Republicans think …or don’t actually think.

While we must remember Renee Nicole Good and Alex Pretti, ICE agents have also been responsible for the deaths of seven people of color since the first on the year.

Top Row, left to right:

Keith Porter Jr. was fatally shot by an off-duty ICE agent on New Year’s Eve outside his apartment complex. An LAPD spokesperson said Porter had fired gunshots into the air and a DHS spokesperson said the off-duty ICEstapo officer was “forced to defensively use his weapon” but offers no evidence to support that.

Parady La, Cambodian refugee, died while being held in ICEstapo custody at the Federal Detention Center in Philadelphia. He passed away after suffering severe drug withdrawal, with his family alleging medical neglect. 

Heber Sanchez Domínguez, a Mexican citizen, died while in ICEstapo custody at the Robert A. Deyton Detention Center in Georgia. The cause of death is currently under investigation. 

Victor Manuel Diaz, from Nicaragua, died in ICEstapo custody at Camp East Montana in El Paso, Texas. DHS says Diaz died of a presumed suicide but  the official cause of his death remains under investigation.

Bottom Row, left to right:

Luis Beltran Yanez-Cruz, from Honduras, died while under the custody of the ICEstapo after suffering a heart-related medical issue; his death is also under investigation.

Luis Gustavo Nunez Caceres, a Honduran citizen, died in ICEstapo custody in Texas of “complications related to congenital heart failure.”

Geraldo Lunas Campos, from Cuba,  died in custody at the ICEstapo detention center in Camp East Montana; the cause of death was "asphyxia due to neck and torso compression."

Last year, 32 people died in ICE custody, the most in a single year since the agency was created. 

Add their names to your rage.

Ticket sales for Amazon’s $40,000,000 documentary about the Slovenian Hooker’s return to the White have been, well, much like her husband’s penis, little and soft. According to one of Britain’s biggest cinema operators, Tim Richards, chief executive of Vue, just two tickets have been booked for the 6pm showing at Vue Islington on its opening evening.

Perhaps if Melanie had included her soft-core porn film as part of the documentary she might have sold three tickets.

The “No Kings” protests against the regime are returning March 28, this time with a flagship event in the Minneapolis on the heels of the ICEstapo murders on Renee Nicole Good and Alex Pretti.

Other demonstrations are expected again across the country.

Stand up; speak up; resist!

Thanks to Doc Heroin Addict the measles epidemic in South Carolina has spread to at least 789 people, surpassing the 2025 West Texas outbreak that sickened 762 people and killed two young girls. The majority of cases remain centered in Spartanburg County, mostly among people who were either unvaccinated or didn’t know their status.

South Carolina has long strived to be the best at something but who would have guessed it would be measles?

Good, fun news, because it has MAGAts in a giant snit, a rumor has it that Bad Bunny will wear a dress during his upcoming Super Bowl performance. And MAGAts are already ranting and raging all over X even though the story has not been substantiated.

Either way, I like the white, but the pink looks more fun, don’t you think?

Jhona Burjack is a model represented by agencies in New York, Los Angeles, Sydney, Hamburg, and São Paulo. It’s like he’s everywhere so … Would You Hit It?

Ain't That America XXI

Another week down, and part of the White House has fallen, along with our democracy ... and we elarn that Cankles is hoping to make money because he was invetsigated for a crime ... and he takes OUR money and gives it to another country while Americans in need of healthcare or food porgrams will go without so ...

... this comes as no surprise as we see the daily piles of literal rubble at the White House but nearly two-thirds of Americans believe the US is headed in the wrong direction, fueled by dissatisfaction with Cankles’ impact on the economy, immigration, race relations and the nation’s global standing. Six in 10 Americans say the state of race relations in the US has mostly changed for the worse since the beginning of the year and that cuts in federal funding of health care programs such as Medicaid, Medicare and the Affordable Care Act have gone too far.

But wait, there’s more … as Americans struggle with rising costs Cankles has decreed that the federal government owes him “a lot of money” for prior Justice Department investigations into his actions and insisted he would have the ultimate say on any payout because any decision will “have to go across my desk.”

Yes, Americans are suffering, while he gives $40,000,000,000 to Argentina and now he’s saying that We The People owe him $230 million in damages related to the FBI’s 2022 search of his Mar-a-Lago property for classified documents and for a separate investigation into potential ties between Russia and his 2016 presidential campaign.

But wait, there’s still more … the White House said last week that it will submit plans for Cankles’ “Jeffrey Epstein Ballroom”—not the actual name—project to a body that oversees federal building construction, even though demolition work has already begun.

Yet many people … count me in …  are sickened by images of the White House walls crumbling after Cankles lied that the project would not interfere with the existing landmark.

But wait, I’m not finished … The Dutch intelligence services AIVD and MIVD have reduced the amount of information they share with their American counterparts, citing political developments in the United States under Cankles and growing concerns over the politicization of intelligence and “respect for human rights.”

The Netherlands is will instead focus on European cooperation because they can be trusted.

And still more … after the peace agreement and another Nobel Peace Prize beg Israel has once again started bombing Gaza after Hamas militants fired anti-tank missiles at Israeli soldiers. The clashes were the most serious escalation since the ceasefire came into force proving that no one on either said knows what the hell “cease fire” means.

And then … Idaho consumers are getting the nation’s first look at price increases hitting Affordable Care Act [ACA, or Obamacare] marketplace plans as the federal tax credits that helped to trigger the Cankles and GOP Government Shutdown™ expire.

On average, gross premiums, or the overall cost of the premium, have gone up about 10% and the net premium, or the amount the consumer pays after the tax credit has been applied, has increased about 75%.

And lastly … in addition, millions  of low-income Americans will lose access to food aid on November 1, when half of states plan to cut off benefits also due to the Cankles and GOP Government Shutdown™. Twenty-five states are issuing notices informing participants of the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program [SNAP]—the nation’s largest anti-hunger initiative—that they won’t receive checks next month.

But the ballroom and the payout for investigations into Cankles crimes …

Arizona Attorney General Kris Mayes has filed a lawsuit to try to force House Speaker Mike “Little Man” Johnson to swear in Representative-elect Adelita Grijalva, the Arizona Democrat who won her late father’s seat in a special election nearly one month ago.

Johnson, a Louisiana Republican, has said he will seat Grijalva once Senate Democrats agree to reopen the government but the two have nothing to do with one another and Johnson is trying to hold off on a vote to release the Epstein files as Grijalva could be the deciding factor.

Cankles biographer Michael Wolff sued First Slovenian Hooker Lady Melanie to stop her from filing a defamation suit over his statements about Melanie and Cankles’ relationship to convicted pedophile financier Jeffrey Epstein.

Wolff, a journalist whose upcoming book is tentatively titled “The Art of Her Deal: The Untold Story of Melania _____ (Redux),” claims Melanie’s lawyers sent a letter threatening to sue him for over $1 billion in damages and demanding he apologize for suggesting online that she is playing a behind-the-scenes role in the Cankles’ Regimes’ messy handling of the Epstein files.

Oh Melanie, admit it … we already know the truth.

The NFL is not considering dropping Bad Bunny as its Super Bowl halftime headline performer, commissioner Roger Goodell said this week:

“It’s carefully thought through. I’m not sure we’ve ever selected an artist where we didn’t have some blowback or criticism. It’s pretty hard to do when you have literally hundreds of millions of people that are watching.”

Good on the NFL for not caving.

Former special counsel Jack Smith has offered to testify in open hearings before the House and Senate Judiciary Committees about the federal investigations into Cankles’ handling of sensitive documents and alleged efforts to subvert the transfer of power after the 2020 election,.

Get the popcorn ready because Jack Smith has zero fucks to give.

Faux-Christian KKKarolying Leavitt’s tirade against the “Democrat activist” judge at the center of a deportation-related court conflict was interrupted by an awkward exchange after she falsely said, again, that Barack Obama first appointed him.

“It’s very clear that this is an activist judge [U.S District Judge James Boasberg ] who is trying to usurp the president’s authority. Under the Alien Enemies Act, the president has this power and that’s why this deportation campaign can be continued. This judge, Judge Boasberg, is a Democrat activist. He was appointed by Barack Obama. His wife has donated more than $10,000 to Democrats and he has consistently shown his disdain for this president and his policies and it’s unacceptable.”

Leavitt was then interrupted by NBC’s White House Correspondent Garrett Haake, who had asked the initial question about the deportations. He said Judge Boasberg “was originally appointed by George W. Bush and elevated by Barack Obama. I just felt like I should correct that.”

Leavitt ignored the correction and changed the topic cuz that’s what she does when she’s caught in a lie. And good on Garrett Haake for calling her out.

Dr. Mehmet Oz, AKA Snake Oil Salesman and administrator of the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services, suggested Cankles has a plan to replace the Affordable Care Act — but provided no specifics about the proposal.

I wonder if it was the plan he promised every single lying year of his first term, or in nearly every single speech he gave while running in 2020—and losing—and running again in 2024 when he said he had a “concept of a plan.”

Hey Mehmet, take two Tylenol and try again.

Cankles’ plan to double the size of the ICEstapo has met a foe more powerful than any activist group … the ICEstapo personal-fitness test which more than 65% of applicants have failed, impeding the DogKiller’s plan to hire, train, and deploy 10,000 deportation officers by January. Applicants must do 15 push-ups and 32 sit-ups and run 1.5 miles in 14 minutes but they can’t.

But when your leader’s boss is a bloated gasbag  of orange flesh telling you about getting in shape this is what happens.

Speaking of a bloated gasbag  of orange flesh, last week Cankles’ boarded Air Force One using the small stairs due toALLEGED  “increased security measures” at Palm Beach International Airport but in reality maybe the gelatinous tub of flesh can’t hike the long stairs.

House Speaker Mike Johnson doubled down on his criticisms of millions and millions of protesters at last weekend’s “No Kings” rallies across the nation, decrying the widely peaceful demonstrations as evidence of “a rise of Marxism in the Democratic Party.”

Funny, cuz the last time we saw a MAGAt demonstration they broke into a federal building, broke window, busted door, stole government documents and equipment, smeared feces on the walls and threatened to kill the Vice President.

But go ahead, Little Johnson, tell us how dangerous the No Kings protests were.

The Resistance is out there and growing.

Bobservations

The other night CBS aired a Grammy salute to Cyndi Lauiper with all kinds of special guests singing with Lauper at the Hollywood Bowl. but my favorite part of the show was Cyndi telling the stories of how she wrote her songs and I was telling Carlos about that when he suddenly said:

“At least she’s not related to Lindsay Lohan.”

“Why would she be related ... Oh no, you thought she was Cyndi Lohan and not Cyndi Lauper.”

See what I deal with? I guess I should count myself lucky that he didn’t think Cyndi was Ma-dough-na or Jell-O. 

This Tuxedo Says comes from April 29, 2021, …

“Tuxedo wants to play off of Carlson’s idea of berating people who wear masks by asking the entire country to berate anyone who works for, listens to, or believes Fox News.”

I still think it’s a good plan!

While millions of fans celebrated, Kid Rock decided to rant about Bad Bunny getting the Super Bowl Halftime Show with this brilliant bon mot:

“So now the Super Bowl’s letting TikTok dancers headline? What’s next, a mariachi band doing Drake covers? Bring back real performers, not reggaeton karaoke.”

Bad Bunny fired back with pure Latin heat:

“You mad ‘cause the only halftime show you’re getting is at the county fair. Don’t talk about ‘real performers’ when your biggest hit was before Wi-Fi existed. If culture moved past you, maybe try catching up instead of crying about it.”

Aaaaaaand snap! 

Every so often a stupid joke finds its way to me and I just have to share it with y’all, so here goes:

Do you know what 50 Cent did when he got hungry?

58.

Please don’t unfollow me … 

I’m thinking  this must be what happens when the cakes are too big for the pan.

These are just a few of the things going around the interwebs that I thought I might clear up …

Undocumented immigrants do not receive free healthcare; it’s against the law.

Tylenol does not cause autism.

Bad Bunny is an American citizen; the Slovenian Hooker is not.

And it’s the Gulf of Mexico.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk … now carry on …. 

David Pruhs, the Republican mayor of Fairbanks Alaska has conceded the race to Democrat Mindy O'Neall after this week’s election.

Republicans have controlled Fairbanks for nearly a decade  but Democrats have scored yet another unlikely victory in deep-red territory.

In around 40 special elections since Cankles barely won his second term, Democrats have overperformed by an average of about 15% and flipped a slew of seats.

This is the Resistance, this is hope.

Y’all know I can scarcely tolerate JLo—or as Carlos calls her, Jell-O—but this is too stupid even for this Thirst Quen. I mean, what in the name of Kindergarten Construction Paper Art Project Nonsense is this dress?

I mean, yeah, she’s starring in Kiss of the Spider Woman but this is the dress she chose for the premiere? It looks more like Kiss of the Broken Belt Buckle Woman.

Someone lay hands on her.

Emilio Alcaraz is a six-foot, one-inch tall, brown haired brown eyed Spanish model and that’s all I need to know because I adore the Latin mens, but … Would You Hit It?