Bobservations

Carlos was recently called to do an interpretation for the Florence County Court Solicitor’s office, which is about an hour or so from Camden. When he explained that he doesn’t drive, they offered to come pick him up, and then drive him home, so he agreed.

But then he worried about the ICEstapo because although he’s a legal documented immigrant that hasn’t stopped the ICEstapo from grabbing people up, so he decided to research the name of the woman who called him: Christine Lowe … a made-up name because she doesn’t need to be on here. He looked and looked and found nothing about her and got a little worried, so I said I’d take a shot at it and Googled Christine Lowe and also found zip, zilch and nada.

I told him I’d come out of the house and meet her when she picked him up and told him to get a business card from her for his records and then give it to me to check. She arrived, we said Hello, she gave me a card and it all looked legit; she even wrote down her home phone on the back. Still, I went back to the house and Googled her again because her name isn’t Christine Lowe but Kirsten Love.

And she’s an investigator for the Florence County Courts. And she had Carlos home by 5PM at which time I told him to pay attention when someone gives their name because Christine was Kirsten and Lowe was Love and he said it all sounded the same.

Bless his heart.

This Tuxedo story is from February 15, 2009 …

Carlos and I decided today would be a good day to do some deep cleaning, so we worked from one end of the house to the other with vacuums and sprays and laundry baskets and window cleaners and furniture polishes and floor cleaners.

I planned dinner. Sunday is usually Carlos' day, but I was in the mood for marinated pork loin, so there you have it. I gave Carlos a haircut. Not the pseudo-mohawk he wanted but something short so he wouldn’t have to mess with it too much. I stripped the beds and was doing laundry and wondered where the cats had gone. All of them hide on cleaning day. I don't know if it's because they think they're getting a bath, or they simply don't like the turmoil.

I discovered Tallulah napping behind the love-seat in the sunroom. MaxGoldberg hid under the guest room bed. But Tuxedo was a harder find.

Until I walked in the bedroom and caught a glimpse of something cat-like. I lay down on the bed and peered into the pile of blankets, and there he was. Hiding out because he doesn't like it when you clean; all his regular smells and places to play get cleaned up and put away.

I feel that way sometimes myself.

Crawl into a hole and pull the hole in after me.

Former reality TV star Josh Duggar, serving a 12-year prison sentence for possessing child pornography,  spoke from behind bars to dismiss child molestation allegations against his brother Joe.

The family that pedophiles together …

I saw this headline on JoeMyGod:

NYT: [Corey] Lewandowski Had Access To Classified Briefs

And I assumed because of their extramarital affair that  ‘classified briefs’ meant Kristi Noem’s panties.

I’m an Old School Gay; y’all can have Madonna, and Gaga, too. For me, the Gay Diva Icon to end all Gay Diva Icons is one Diana Ross. And so, since today is the anniversary of the birth of the Diva known as Diana, I will make do by reposting my story of A-Run-In-With-Diana, er, Miss Ross.

As a younger gay boy living in California, I waited for Miss Ross to come to Lake Tahoe, or even Reno, although Reno is tacky and dirty and Lake Tahoe is gaw-geous. So, when I saw the announcement that she would be appearing somewhere, anywhere nearby, I instantly got on the phone to my homies, er, homos, and homo-friendlies, and we made plans to see her.

One time we invited our friends Ann and Steve. They liked the idea of a show, but a Diana Ross show? They weren't fans; but then we enticed them with the idea of cocktails and gambling and Lake Tahoe and cocktails and cocktails, and they relented, so we went.

Now, back in the day at the casino showrooms, if you wanted a good seat, you tipped the ushers at the door to get closer. So I did. And we were seated next to the stage!

Well, I was two seats away from the stage because a couple of queens of mine stepped in front of me. Ann and Steve sat behind me. The show starts and she appears; sings, dances, and works the crowd. Reach Out And Touch! Ain't No Mountain High Enough! Baby Love! She appeared at the head of our table and, well, Steve, Mister I-Don't-Like-Diana-Ross leapt up, sprawled across my head and the two queens in front of me so he could, as he says, just touch her.

I think I created a monster.

A few years later, Miss Ross was back at Caesars Tahoe and once again there were phone calls and invitations to the performance. We invited a straight couple--probably because Ann and Steve couldn't make it and we like to keep a nice gay-straight ratio. I went with my best fag hag Lisette and our straight friends, Shawn and Lori, wanted to close, so they tipped this time, and we were once again next to the stage. Lisette sat right at the edge and I was behind her.

Show starts. Lights dim. Orchestra plays. Miss Ross sequins out and divas all over the place. She tells the crowd she has a bit of a cold, and they bring out a small table with hot tea for her. But she soldiers on. 

Come See About Me! Love Child! My Man! Stop! In The Name Of Love! I'm Coming Out! The Boss!

And she keeps coming over to our table to talk to us. She says she loves all the good energy we are sending her and then she looks down at Lori, who was about 26 months pregnant at the time, and asks Lori about the baby, wishes Lori and Shawn all good things, and … They. Just. Sit. There. Needless to say they were never part of the Caravan To Caesars To See Miss Ross again.

Anyway, Miss Ross starts to sing ‘It's My Turn,’ and she comes back  to our table and holds a hand out to me. I rise, like any good gay boy in the presence of diva-liciousness and clasp her hand. No, she says, up here. I believe I used Lisette's head as a steppingstone and I rose to the stage. Miss Ross wanted to slow dance with me; and we did, center stage at Caesar's Palace, while she sang It's My Turn.

And at the end, she kissed my cheek and told me that I was a gentleman.

Somehow I returned to my seat until The Boss. We were up in the aisles dancing and Miss Ross came to us once again and called us all on the stage to dance. I believe I was trampled on by the homos behind me, and this time, I actually let Lisette go up first...after all, Miss Ross had said I was a gentleman, so I was not about to disappoint!

Needless to say it was a fabulous concert and one of those memories that will never fade.

At the end of the show, Miss Ross once again appeared at our table to thank us for being so nice to her.

Happy Birthday Diva! Eighty-two looks fierce and fabulous.

There wasn’t a single Democratic elected official who celebrated Charlie Kirk’s death, not one, but Cankles openly celebrated Robert Mueller’s death and no Republicans are condemning him.

Both sides are not the same.

Brady Nitz is a 21-year-old content creator and model known for lip syncs, dances, and memes, and has amassed more than 70,000 followers on TikTok account so Would You Hit It?

Random Musings

So we celebrated our anniversary on Sunday by giving one another the traditional anniversary gifts.

The traditional gift for a Third Anniversary is Horror Movie, so we saw It, while the traditional anniversary gift for the Seventeenth Anniversary is Bacon, so we went out for dinner and I order a Bacon-Infused Vodka Bloody Mary.

We are nothing if not a traditional couple.

Of course, we also went to our favorite little Mexican restaurant here in Smallville, Salud, on our actual anniversary Tuesday and, again, wanting to be traditional, I had two Habanero Margaritas ... spicy Anniversary indeed.

Sgt. La David Johnson was killed in Niger recently, and this week his body was flown home. And, as you may know, right now _____ is involved in a kerfuffle regarding presidential phone calls to the widows of fallen soldiers; as more dead soldiers returned to America this week the Fat Bastard was golfing and Twitter came for him relentlessly enough to make him fume that Obama never called any families of fallen military personnel ... which, as usual, was a lie.

So, _____ called Sgt. Johnson’s widow, Myeshia, pregnant with their third child, just before Johnson’s body arrived home; he spoke via speakerphone to Myeshia Johnson and Congresswoman Frederica Wilson and ____ told the widow that her husband “knew what he signed up for … but when it happens it hurts anyway.”

He knew what he signed up for? That’s what a president says during a condolence call?

Rex Tillerson was right ... he’s a moron and maybe we should be glad he doesn’t make these kinds of calls.

From the ‘Sorry, Not Sorry File’ ... Josh “Sister Diddler” Duggar has lost his lawsuit against In Touch Weekly.

In 2015 the magazine reported that The Diddler was accused of molesting his younger sisters while they were all minors. In June of this year, The Diddler and his sisters separately sued In Touch’s parent company, Bauer Publishing, claiming that the local police had provided In Touch with their names, even though their identities should have been redacted by police before being handed over to the magazine.

The court told The Diddler and his sister to take a seat because it wasn’t the magazine’s fault that police released their names.

The Duggars’ suit against the police is continuing. You know, because they want this story kept secret so they keep suing about it to make some money because not one of them knows how to do anything but whore their personal lives to the media.

As my BFF Judge Judy would, “Get.A.Job.”

The New Yorker recently published an article about what America might face if _____ were impeached and Mike Pence became president, and this is just a snippet:

“_____ thinks Pence is great,” [Steve] Bannon told me. But, according to a longtime associate, _____ also likes to “let Pence know who’s boss.” A staff member from _____’s campaign recalls him mocking Pence’s religiosity. He said that, when people met with _____ after stopping by Pence’s office, _____ would ask them, “Did Mike make you pray?” Two sources also recalled _____ needling Pence about his views on abortion and homosexuality. During a meeting with a legal scholar, _____ belittled Pence’s determination to overturn Roe v. Wade. The legal scholar had said that, if the Supreme Court did so, many states would likely legalize abortion on their own. “You see?” _____ asked Pence. “You’ve wasted all this time and energy on it, and it’s not going to end abortion anyway.” When the conversation turned to gay rights, _____ motioned toward Pence and joked, “Don’t ask that guy—he wants to hang them all!”

He wants to hang them all! Isn’t that funny? Joking about Killing The Gays? Now, if you think it is funny—and what would you be doing here then anyway?—think about it like this:

What is it was Black people Pence wanted to hang? Jews? Baptists? Catholics? Women? Children? Still find it funny, Asshat?

Now, if wanna hear something really funny ... on Monday the  Republican-led Senate confirmed Callista Gingrich, wife of former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, as the US ambassador to the Vatican.

Yes. An adulterer is our ambassador to the Catholic Church. Callista, who, judging by her photo is a tight-ass of epic proportions, was a congressional aide—an intern a la Monica Lewinsky—when she began a six-year affair with Newt Gingrich, who was married at the time. Married at the time to his second wife, with whom he cheated with on his first wife.

Yes, our ambassador to the Vatican is an adulterer, but then this is America Under _____ so adultery is in even though to the Vatican adultery is sin!

Clearly a _____ supporter because he’s wearing an ‘I Stand For The Anthem’ t-shirt ... but he uses the American flag to sit on. A true American ....

More funny ... Davis Magnet IB Elementary, a predominately black public school in Mississippi named after Jefferson Davis will have its Confederate tied namesake stripped next year and replaced with the title of another president whose character students, parents and teachers have said is more fitting ... Barack Obama.

Pity the poor Lying Hypocritical Misogynistic Homophobic Racist Bigot In Chief who is probably fuming at this news.

Oliver Baggerman is Hot ... scorching; he was born in Tenerife in the Canary Islands on October 5, 1987 and was once, believe it or not a plumber ... lord help me I need my pipes cleaned. In 2008 he joined the Supermodel television competition and won. Now he walking catwalks and traveling the world instead of lying on the floor of my kitchen working on my plumbing ... the plot of so many gay porn films.

Just sayin’ and just showin'.

It looks like the rainbow will stay on the beach.

A rainbow lifeguard tower in Venice, California which was the subject of a petition campaign to keep it from being repainted to the standard blue color of other lifeguard towers has been saved by the L.A. County Board of Supervisors who voted unanimously to save the rainbow after receiving 11,000 signatures on a petition to save it.

Openly gay L.A. Supervisor Sheila Kuehl introduced the motion to let the stripes stand and in addition has asked that the tower be dedicated in memory of the late Bill Rosendahl, the first openly gay man elected to the Los Angeles City Council; in fact, the entire section of Venice Beach where the lifeguard tower stands will be renamed after him.

It’s purty, no?

Random Musings

There are no new ideas … because how else do we explain that 73-year-old Harrison Ford will back onscreen as Indiana Jones in a new Raiders film?

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Cataracts?

Raiders of the Lost Social Security Check?

Indiana Jones and the Last Colorectal Exam?

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of Assisted Living?

Your turn …

So, the Mama Grizzly Bore™ was stumping for _____ in Florida this week and denounced the “petty punk-ass little thuggery stuff that’s been going on with those quote-unquote protesters who are doing nothing but wasting your time and trying to take away your first amendment rights, your rights to assemble peacefully."

Of course, then she invited the petty punk-ass thugs to a Palin Family barbeque where that kind of behavior is not only acceptable, it’s expected.

Remember last summer when the internet, and, well, me, too, was going crazy over convict Jeremy Meeks after his mugshot was posted online by the Stockton Police Department?

Meeks had been arrested for possession of a loaded firearm and because he was already a convicted felon, he was sentenced to 27 months in jail and 500 hours in a prison substance abuse program.

Now, Jeremy Meeks is out and he’s signed with a modeling agency. His felony wasn’t so heinous that people aren’t forgiving, especially when he starts doing underwear ads … fingers crossed.

Speaking of criminals … lock up your wives, your daughters and your paid escorts, because Josh Duggar has left the religious rehab center he went to after news broke that he was banging strippers and frequenting Ashley Madison and being glued to internet porn, which was after the news broke that he molested his own sisters.

Duggar left rehab after more than six months though no one seems to know where he is now.

As I was saying ... lock up your wives, your daughters and your paid escorts. And your computers.

Tony Goldwyn has been appearing s shirtless, and in bed, a lot these last few weeks on Scandal. Not that I’m complaining, but I’ve started thinking of him less as President Fitzgerald Grant and more as President Rock HardAbs.

Now, if Scandal would only give this guy — the new gladiator, Marcus Walker, played by Cornelius Smith Jr — the same wardrobe ….

Just sayin’.

I heard _____ say he was going to change the libel laws when he’s president.

And then he basically admitted on Fox News that he wants to do it because it’s too hard for him to win libel lawsuits with the current protections in place. Yup, _____ will spend all his time in court trying to sue people for saying he’s a pompous, over-indulgent, spoiled brat, bully, with a dead raccoon on his head.

Start the filing now _____; I’m ready!

Remember when Paul Ryan had to be kinda pushed into being Speaker of the House without ever actually pursuing the job?

He’s at it again; only now he might want to be president without running for the job or even appearing on a single primary election ballot.

House Speaker Paul Ryan has declined to rule out the idea of accepting the GOP nomination for resident if a deadlocked party convention turns to him this summer:

“People say, ‘What about the contested convention?’ I say, well, there are a lot of people running for president. We’ll see. Who knows. I actually think you should run for president if you’re going to be president, if you want to be president. I’m not running for president. I made that decision, consciously, not to.”

So he didn’t run because he didn't want to be president but if you just give it to him he’ll take it? 

Pity the Sad Gop Clown.

God Bless South Carolina ... 

Earlier this week while working at home, I heard a knock at the door. There was a man on the porch asking if I knew where the Davis family lived.

I said, “No, I don’t. Do they live on this street?”

He ignored that and again said, “The Davis family. A colored family.”

Colored? I checked my calendar … yup, still 2016. I started to say something smart-assed about what color the family might be when I noticed that he saw my t-shirt and was backing off the porch and walking away.

I realized I was wearing my Will of the People Fund — a group I helped crate back in 2014 to raise funds and awareness for marriage equality in South Carolina — and it had this logo on it.

I imagine the man was driving away thinking, “Coloreds and queers living on this street?
Bless his heart.

Random Musings

I don’t really keep up with the gay porn industry, but this notice from Titan Media caught my eye …

It seems that Titan has announced it will pay off the outstanding legal debt, up to $1,000,000, for former Congressman Aaron Schock if the rock-hard bodied Republican will agree to star in a series of hardcore Titan Men gay porn films.

I’m guessing that since Schock loved Downton Abbey so much that he redecorated his Congressional offices in that style, that the name of his first foray into gay porn might be … “Downtown Aaron” … “Servicing Lord Grantham” … “Upstairs, Down There.”

"Mister Piece Theater"?

Just sayin’.

After the Iowa caucuses, Mike Huckabee has dropped out of the 2016 presidential race. I didn't even know he was in the race.

Don't stare directly into his eyes ....

So, six months ago TLC canceled "19 Kids and Counting" when we learned that eldest son Josh Duggar had molested his sisters and other girls, had schtupped a porn star and prostitutes, was addicted to porn, and was very active on adultery websites.

Yeah, quite the Family Values programming, eh? But now it appears … and I say appears because the story is appearing in only a few places, like the Christian Post, that TLC is bringing "19 Kids And Counting" back.

As I say, this might just be a joke, or a stupid rumor, but if it turns out to be true, I suggest the name be changed to:

"18 Kids, A Child Molesting-Adulterer-Porn-Whore And Counting".

Truth in advertising.

Who asked for “Zoolander 2”, a sequel to a fifteen-year-old movie, because we need to have a talk. Seriously.

I’ve been watching Ellen’s Design Challenge on HGTV; a competition show for furniture designers.

I was saddened when little hottie Bradley Bowers went from first in week one to worst in week two and was kicked off the show, but … it paved the way for under the radar hottie, furniture maker Kyle Huntoon to cross my radar.

Hot Gay Nerd.

I don’t know about the gay part, buy he’s hot and kinda nerdy, so I’m good.

Two [t]Rump related thoughts:

First up: he wants a new election in Iowa because he says Ted Cruz cheated. The "comb-over" wants a "do-over".

Secondly: I don't need another reason to adore Adele, but, well, here's another reason: she has demanded that Donald [t]Rump stop using her songs at his rallies.

Yeah, I adore her.

A friend is buying a home and was looking at various properties and then using Google Earth to get a street view. Another co-worker, as I looked at the photos, asked if the picture was of my house and I said it wasn’t. She asked to see my house, and so I Google Earth’d it and, well, they have updated their maps and it now shows the real color of our home and not the original blue-gray.

But what I love is that the house looks like it’s in the middle of the woods.

It looks so secluded … but it’s not.

So, a huge shocker about the Iowa caucuses, right? No, not that [t]Rump lost, or Ted Cruz lied or that Ben Carson slept though most it.

Rick Santorum quit the race! Isn’t that surprising!?! I mean he sure seemed like a good choice … but even funnier is that the minute he quit, he endorsed Marco Rubio and yet he is unable to name a single thing Marco Rubio has accomplished.

On MSNBC’s Morning Joe, Santorum could not answer a direct about what Rubio has done, except this:

“[He won] a tough election in Florida, pull[ing] people together from a variety of spots.”

Co-host Mika Brzezinski pushed further, saying “Jeb Bush ran Florida. Donald Trump built a company. Marco Rubio… finish the sentence.”

Santorum couldn’t. Now that’s a ringing endorsement.

It's Snarkurday!

I don’t know if Katy Perry is still banging John Mayer or not, though I do know she should be wrapped in a FullBodyCondom™ for life for ever having banged him at all.

But … ALLEGEDLY … the two were together on New Year’s Eve and all sorts of cozy, but then cut to a couple of weeks later and Katy showed up solo … and old looking … at the Golden Globes and immediately starting flirting with that other walking STD, Orlando Bloom.

Yup, ALLEGEDLY the two hit it off, and then maybe hit it, during and after a Globes after party thrown by Harvey Weinstein. The duo was photographed all chatty and snuggly and whispery with one another. Orlando even took Katy’s phone at one point, possibly to enter his booty call phone number. And then Katy and her handlers decided to leave the party … with Orlando in tow.

But I guess it wasn’t all that, or else Katy decided John Mayer should be her only true booty call, because later that same week, at a Stella McCartney fashion show, Katy arrived first, and when Orlando showed up, she moved away from him and avoided him all night.

Katy could do better … not that she has. I mean, Russell Brand, John Mayer and Orlando Bloom? Sounds like a Triple Shot Trip to the Free Clinic.

Back in the fall of 2014, adulterers LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian were sued by their former maid, Gloria Cevallos, who claimed that she was being bullied and insulted by two other women on LeAnn and Eddie’s staff — she says the Cibrian's other help called her fat and ugly — and that Eddie’s mother wanted LeAnn and Eddie to fire Gloria.

Was Mama Cibrian worried that serial cheater Eddie would go Schwarzenegger on the maid?

Anyway, Gloria was fired, and then she sued for back pay and “front pay” — yup, she wanted Eddie and LeAnn to pay her salary in full until she found another job. Seriously? Who does she think she is? Marco Rubio?

Anyway, LeAnn got on her high horse and sang yodeled to every media outlet about the lawsuit, and claimed that Gloria was all about the “shameless money grab,” something LeAnn knows all too well … but, instead of taking Gloria to court, Eddie and LeAnn settled their suit, meaning they paid some cash to Gloria to stop saying they’re horrible people.

And I guess there was a Non-Disclosure Clause, because if there wasn’t, LeAnn would’a been all over Twitter with that hashtag.

Sherri Shepherd will not give up.

You know she married Lamar Sally, because she bragged about it on The View before they canned her; and she also bragged about using a surrogate to have a baby.

She did not, however, brag anywhere when the marriage fell apart and she tried to distance herself from the unborn child, saying she never wanted ‘it’ and certainly wasn’t going to pay for ‘it.’

But a judge disagreed and told Sherri, who gave up her parental rights, meaning Lamar has the child, that ‘it’ is her child and she will be paying child support until her son turns eighteen.

Sherri stomped and cried and begged and pleaded, and now she’s going back to court, appealing that Pennsylvania Superior Court decision all the way to the state supreme court. She doesn’t want to pay the $4,100 in monthly child support for the boy, and also doesn’t really want anyone to know that it was she who paid the more than $100,000 in fees to a New Jersey agency and supported the Pennsylvania surrogate’s pregnancy until her marriage faltered.

And only then did she say she didn’t want the child. Oh, and before I forget, Sherri wants y’all to know she’s a good Christian woman who is turning her back on her baby.

Just sayin’.

I need a Silkwood Scrubdown after this, but, according to sources, Josh Duggar and his wife Anna are expecting yet another child, their fifth, conceived while Josh was away at Sex Addict Rehab, or Sister Diddler Therapy, or Porn Star Screwing Camp or something.

It begs the question, though, that exactly what kind of sex addiction rehab clinic allows their patients to bone anyone while undergoing sex addiction therapy?

Anyway, Anna announced that she thinks she is pregnant again and believes the baby is a sign that God has forgiven Josh for his many sins.

God, for her part, issued this statement:

Oh hell no. Keep me outta this mess.

Meanwhile, back at media whore cheaters, LeAnn and Eddie Cibrian.

LeAnn took to Instagram around Christmas to proudly shoe off the diamond ring Eddie “gave” her as a gift. She even used the Ricky Martin Method of hashtagging the picture to death: #cushioncut #rosegold #happy #blessed #loved. And then she hashtagged it with the name of the jeweler and jewelry store that designed the ring: #Mantis7Jewels.

I could just #puke. But then I wondered, how many people receive “gifts” and then give a public — possibly paid — endorsement of the store that provided the “gift”? Unless, the gift wasn’t a gift at all, but a little something the jeweler and Eddie created to “give” LeAnn as long as she paid proper notice to the store.

Or, and this seems to be the case, given that the jeweler has said so: LeAnn designed the ring herself, and paid for it herself, and then Instagramed that it was a gift from Eddie.

Lotta thought went into that “gift,” eh, Eddie?

When Boy Bands fall, some members go on to do fairly well, and others, well, they seem to Nick Carter their way down.

Nick, a former member of The Backdoor Backstreet Boys, who has proudly proclaimed in recent years his successful stint in rehab and his sobriety, was arrested this week after ALLEGEDLY busting a drunken move at Hog’s Breath Saloon in Key West.

Carter and another dude — Michael Rae Papayans — showed up at the Hog’s Breath and were all kinds of wasted, so the bartender refused to get them any more drunk and told them to leave.

That set Michael off and he ALLEGEDLY head-butted the bar manager while Nick, not to be outdone by the crazy, choked the bouncer. The bar staff jumped in and pinned Nick and Michael to the ground until the police arrived at which point Michael Rae Papayans name-dropped, wait for it, Nick Carter … as in …

“That other bar brawler is the Nick Carter!”

Naturally, that didn’t help because, obviously, the Key West police are NSYNC fans.

Over there to The Voice, the judges chairs are rotating again, with Gwen Stefani taking this round off and former judge Christina Aguilera coming back.

And that did not sit well with Gwen’s media-boyfriend, and fellow guest judge, Blake Shelton, who apparently stomped his boots at the idea of not being able to ride this Gwake Sheltani business until it dies a much needed death.

And so the producers, fearing a Blake Exit, had no other choice but to bring Gwen back, but then, what about the Wrath of Aguilera?

Problem solved … Stefani will be back, as a mentor on “boyfriend’ Blake Shelton’s team.

I guess cowboy boots really do throw as mighty a hissy fit as diva stilettos.