I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

So, y’all remember last week when Disney stepped in a pile of Don’t Say Gay doo-doo when the Mouse House did nothing to condemn that hate-filled Florida bill? And then CEO Bob Chapek suggested the company was working behind the scenes to support the LGBTQ+ community, but a great many Pixar and Disney employees put Disney on blast, listing all the ways Disney has profited off the LGBTQ+ community but not really supported us.

Well, in stepped actor Gabrielle Union, who  stars in Disney’s reboot of Cheaper by the Dozen and is trans activist Zaya Wade’s stepmother. Union took no prisoners when she was asked if she was disappointed in Disney’s response to Don’t Say Gay, and said:

“Somebody asked me, ‘Are you disappointed?’ I’m disappointed when my order isn’t right at In-N-Out. I don’t even think that’s a word that you could use for something like this, where children’s lives are literally hanging in the balance. We need to own that if you truly are taking stands against hate and oppression, you should not fund hate and oppression. Period. The damage is done. There are so many states that are following suit [with Florida’s legislation], because there is no pushback, because no one in positions of power [or] corporations are taking a hard stance. Let’s look who’s donating to what and let’s call people out … I think a lot of people like to confuse accountability and consequences for cancel culture. And as long as you have a microphone and a stage that’s not cancel culture, honey… We have to campaign and fund for those people who stand for all of us.”

Suh-nap, as Anne Marie would have said, and I add a double suh-nap to Un ion’s statement because she worked for Disney and still took them on.

Brava, Mama.

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Kim Kardastrophe and Kanye West’s divorce looks like it might get even uglier.

In the new trailer for Hulu’s “The Kardastrophes,” Kim shares a displeasing comment her now-ex-husband made to her:

“He told me my career is over.”

Her ‘career’ as a reality show whore? As a wannabe lawyer? Her career as a former porn star turned underwear mogul?

Gurl bye.

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Wendy Williams has had a bad couple of years, what with her husband fathering a child with his lover and then divorcing Wendy; and that was followed up by health scares, a Graves Disease diagnosis, allegations of substance abuse and mental health issues, which culminated in Wendy leaving her talk show for most of last year and well into 2022.

But in a phone call to GMAS this week, Wendy proclaimed that she has the “mind and body of a 25-year-old”—on a high shelf in a dark closet?—and needs three more months to handle some shiz and then she’ll come back to her show, except …

The producers have cancelled the Wendy Williams Show and replaced it with Sherri! starring Sherri Shepherd, so unless Wendy changes her name, I don’t see her back on TV as the host … of Sherri!

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A few years ago a rumor came out that Jada Pinkett Smith had cheated on her husband Will with a twenty-something friend of their son, Jaden. Both Mr. and Mrs. Smith got on their high horses, panties in a twist and said no affair ever happened and how dare anyone ever say it happened.

Cut to a few years later, and Jada and Will, on her Facebook talk show, Red Table Talk, discussed her affair with the young man, but didn’t address their indignation at the public for discussing Jada’s affair. The couple then suggested that they have an open marriage and yada yada yada publicity.

Now, a couple of years past that, and Will Smith is campaigning for an Oscar for his role in King Richard—not  a Shakespeare play but a film about Venus and Serena Williams’ father Richard—and Will appeared on CBS with Gayle King who asked many questions, including this one:

“You both have talked very candidly—it’s a very famous story–infidelity in the marriage and how you navigated that that time …”

“Yeah, never. There’s never been infidelity in our marriage.”

“Never been infidelity in the marriage?”

“Never. Jada and I talk about everything. And we have never surprised one another with anything, ever.”

Oh. So, if you tell your spouse you’re cheating it isn’t infidelity? Yeah, I don’t think so, I think it’s still infidelity, because I guarantee your wedding vows said nothing about poking your dick in other women, or even men, or allowed Jada to flop on her back with her heels to Jesus.

Just own, it, Will, You and your wife cheat on one another but you both know the other does it and you’re both fine with that, but don’t expect anyone to believe this hogwash.

Infidelity won’t doesn’t bother either one of you unless the day comes when one of you keeps their cheating secret to themselves.

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Now, some of you may know that recovering alcoholic and Real Housewives of New York ‘star,’ Luann de Lesseps was arrested a couple of years ago for drunkenly breaking into someone else’s hotel room and then trying to assault a police officer, has fallen off the wagon … ALLEGEDLY.

Last week former Countess de Lesseps drunkenly took over the mic at a gay piano bar and began singing so badly that patrons began booing, causing de Lesseps to shout ‘Fuck you’ from the stage before she was kicked out of the club.

Apparently the Countess,  who performs her own “Countess Cabaret” show, arrived intoxicated at the Townhouse piano bar and took to the stage as if she were performing her act for the crowd who was not amused; one witness said:

“Luann thought she was doing her act. She tried to sing [her own song] ‘Money Can’t Buy You Class,’ but they didn’t know it, they know standards. The piano player was like, ‘I don’t know the song,’ and she responded, ‘It’s a hit!'”

SIDENTOE: the critically trashed song sold 19,000 digital copies.

And then it got worse. Luann began “belting out jumbled versions of songs,” which were so intolerable that “the crowd began booing her” and so she began yelling back:

“You don’t know me! I’m a cabaret star! Fuck you.”

Then she was thrown out of the club.

Luann told the press the next day that she was “at rehearsals all day … then went to dinner with Broadway producers. We were in a celebratory mood and drinking champagne.”

And making a drunken, belligerent fool of herself. Again.

You can see the video, and hear Luann singing caterwauling here:

The Sun

To cleanse my eyes and mind of things de Lesseps, let’s talk about country singer Jessie James Decker showing off her nekkid football player husband on his 35th birthday,

Decker shared that photo of Eric Decker on Instagram wearing only his "birthday suit" to celebrate his milestone, telling followers that he's "lookin like a statue from Greece" in the poolside picture from Mexico.

Thanks Jessie.

PS There was also the time Eric posed with Jessie’s new cookbook rather provocatively.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Am I going to have to edit the My-Husband-In-My-Head list and remove longtime favorite Armie Hammer?

Y’all know that Armie Hammer split from his wife, Elizabeth Chambers, last July, after ALLEGATIONS surfaced that he was cheating with his Rebecca co-star Lily James … who was later accused of cheating with yet another co-star Dominic West, from a different film. Now that doesn’t mean Armie’s off the list, but it ALLEGEDLY gets way uglier about Mr. Hammer.

Women have come forward with DMs ALLEGEDLY sent by Armie, and they tell stories of how he likes drinking the blood of his sex partners, of killing an animal to eat its heart and taking what were initially consensual sex acts with women he called “Kittens” to peak levels of abuse. And rumors abound that Armie was fired from the upcoming JLo bomb, Shotgun Wedding, over these troubling ALLEGATIONS.

Hammer says he chose to leave the movie so he could stay with his kids in the Cayman Islands during this difficult time, but … according to those close to Hammer he hasn’t been with his family at all, and only communicates with his estranged wife through their attorneys.

Not so bad. People cheat all the time. Not enough to scrub him from the list, though those blood drinking ALLEGATIONS are creepy. But while in the Caymans Armie has bragged to his buddies about having a lingerie-clad woman, on all fours,  waiting for him in his hotel:

“Well… my ex [for a very good reason] wife is refusing to come back to america [sic] with my children. So I have to go back to Cayman… which sucks. Except there are a few silver linings. Like f**king Ms. Cayman again while I’m down there.”

Note: the Miss Cayman Islands Universe Committee has denied that it is the reigning Miss Cayman Mariah Tibbetts, or anybody affiliated with the contest.

And he’s boasted about taking DMT, a hallucinogenic drug that goes undetected in drug tests, in leaked videos from his private Instagram account when he also shared a screenshot of what looked like a court order that he takes drug tests, and passes them, before he can see his children:

“All negative, b***hes. My body is a finely tuned toxicant processing unit. To be fair I had THC and benzos in my piss. But who doesn’t. Divorce is so fun. Not as fun as drugs. But what is.”

I dunno … I see an eraser headed to my Husband list, especially given this part: Armie Hammer might be into cannibalism.

There, I said it.

Last July, ALLEGED DMs sent to various women from Armie made the rounds in which he was DTF while still married. Some of the women, whom he called ‘Kitten’ and himself ‘Daddy’ shared the ALLEGED Hammer DMs.

And in the DMs were disturbing stories that ‘Daddy’ gets hard thinking about holding a woman’s heart in his hands … that ‘Daddy’ demands to drink their blood … that ‘Daddy’ is a cannibal … that ‘Daddy’—and, again, it’s ALLEGED to be Armie—has cut an animal’s heart out and eaten it.

To make matters worse, Jessica Ciencin Henriquez, who dated Armie last year after he separated from his wife, showed support for those speaking out:

“If you are still questioning whether or not those Armie Hammer DMs are real (and they are) maybe you should start questioning why we live in a culture willing to give abusers the benefit of the doubt instead of victims.”

And, also ALLEGEDLY, the soon-to-be ex-wife, Elizabeth Chambers, seems to believe the victims, and feels her husband “no longer values” their family.

Last week, another of Armie’s exes, Courtney Vucekovich, shared her Hammer  experiences with Page Six, saying Armie was emotionally abusive, obsessive, into drinking and drugs, and manipulated her into sex acts she wouldn’t mention.

Oh, and this, too:

“He said to me he wants to break my rib and barbecue and eat it … He says, I want to take a bite out of you. If I had a little cut on my hand he’d like suck it or lick it. He likes the idea of skin in his teeth.”

Vucekovich says she wasn’t surprised when the DM screenshots were released:

“He enters your life in such a big way. He’s such a captivating person. He has such a presence and he’s aware of that and he uses it in such a way that most women would think, ‘Oh my gosh this is amazing,’ but especially young women, that’s kind of the scary part—how good he is at active manipulation and making you feel like he’s never felt this way about anybody. He quickly grooms you in the relationship. He kind of captivates you and while being charming he’s grooming you for these things that are darker and heavier and consuming. When I say consuming, I mean mentally, physically, emotionally, financially, just everything.”

Vucekovish says Armie became obsessive, spending three weeks by her side 24/7, and when they weren’t together, he texted her 100 times a day. She calls him “the most broken” person she’s ever met, constantly drinking and doing drugs and putting her in very dangerous situations:

“You end up doing things that are very out-of-character for you, including sex acts.”

But Vucekovich won’t go into specifics about the sex, because she doesn’t want the lurid details to overshadow how Hammer’s emotional abuse affected her. She says their relationship was like “drowning in this dark hole trying to stay afloat” and that after they split, she began having panic attacks, struggled to breathe, and eventually checked into a 30-day hospitalization program for PTSD and trauma.

Armie’s reps didn’t respond to requests for comment on Vucekovich’s story but he did apologize to the Miss Cayman pageant saying the ‘stolen’ photo of the woman in his bed on all fours waiting for ‘Daddy’ was not Miss Cayman.

I guess I need to get that eraser out …

Note to the world: there’s a new opening on the Husband-In-My-Head List. ALLEGED cannibals need not apply.

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Wendy Williams had been dealing with a lot for a while … her husband’s new baby with another woman … her divorce … her sobriety issues … and now the death of her mother, Shirley, and fight with her brother, Tommy.

It seems that Tommy has been dragging Wendy on social media, saying she din’t ven bother to go to her mother’s funeral. He says Wendy made an appearance at the with her son, and then spilled the tea that even Wendy’s ex-husband, Kevin Hunter Sr., attended the burial:

“What makes somebody not go to their mother’s funeral? I don’t understand not giving a salute to the one person who was always there and showed you support. I don’t get how you can just move on and act like nothing happened.”

Well, Wendy heard about this and, as Wendy does, went in for the jugular:

“I was just searching to see what people had to say about last week’s shows or the dresses or the guests we had … I’m minding my own  business and I’m seeing a lot of comments about “you’re brother doesn’t like you” or “you better watch your back because your brother is on one’ or “Wendy, I can’t believe you’re this kind of person.”

Okay, not so bad. Perhaps Wendy learned to take the high road, except:

“Tommy, let me tell you something right now—all you are is my brother. You better stop talking the way you’re talking because now it’s dripping into my comment page… He’s pegging me to be a person I am not. Honey, you don’t want me to start pegging you to be the person that you are—with full-blown receipts. I could fill the audience with receipts with the leftovers all the way around the block … You are my brother, let’s keep it that way. If you want to talk on the internet then you talk about the things that you think you know about yourself. You don’t want to talk about the things I know about you … for sure… By the way, do you like my dress, Tommy?”

Wendy then rubbed the fur sleeves on her dress and said:

“Tommy would love a dress like this.”

There you have it. Wendy didn’t like being called out and so she suggested her brother is maybe gay … and seemed to suggest that's a bad thing, or something to be ashamed of ... or likes to wear women’s clothes?

Oh, Wendy, why can’t you ever just keep your mouth shut and save us from your dirty laundry?

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We don’t hear much about Russell Crowe lately, but when we do, it’s kinda funny.

This story involves his 2003 film Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World, and in full disclosure, I have never seen it. Apparently it’s about ships and the old days and Russell being a commander?

Yeah, I’ll pass, and according to one Ian McNabb, of the UK, it’s a great film … for napping. Ian took to Twitter with this:

“Lots of folk complaining about lack of sleep during the Pandemic. May I recommend Master And Commander starring the usually captivating, attention-grabbing Russell Crowe. I've never made it past the ten minute mark. You're welcome. And thanks Russell.”

Well, Russell turned all Wendy Williams on Ian and Tweeted:

“That’s the problem with kids these days. No focus. Peter Weirs film is brilliant. An exacting, detail oriented, epic tale of fidelity to Empire & service, regardless of the cost. Incredible cinematography by Russell Boyd & a majestic soundtrack. Definitely an adults movie.”

Ouch. Age-shamming, Russell? Trouble is, Ian is a grown-assed man and a UK film critic, who Tweeted back:

“Thanks Russell. I'm 60 but I get your point. Love Unhinged. Greetings from Liverpool, Ian.”

Of note is that the “kid” Russell was coming for is actually older than Russell.

Perhaps we can get Wendy and Russell in the same Take Your Spats Into Private accountability group?

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

That wacky Tara Reid. After last week’s post about her begging Nicole Kidman to co-star with her in some piece of schlock, she’s now trying to walk back the story.

Now Tara says she doesn’t “think” she pitched Nicole Kidman a job on Instagram. I think Tara should have stopped after saying, “I don’t think.” But now she’s crawled out from whatever fog she lives in to tell the “Access All Areas” radio show that she isn’t completely sure she was the one who left the message:

“I don’t think I did, because I think I’m not the only one who controls my Instagram. So, there’s a couple of people [who] do it. Do you know what I mean?”

Yeah, I’ve heard that, but I think you’d know what you posted and what your minion, AKA  the homeless guy who lives next door to the Starbucks dumpster on Highlands posted. But then Reid goes on to say that she isn’t sure she’s heard from Kidman yet:

“I haven’t read anything yet on private messages, so I don’t think so. So who knows?”

Oh honey, we all know.

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When last we heard about Erika [Jayne] Girardi’s split from 81-year-old husband Tom Girardi, we were told make it was a fake divorce to hide assets Tom was embezzling from a lawsuit, and how badly Erika needs all the coins she can grab because she’s expen$ive.

And it gets messier. The 49-year-old member of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills filed for divorce  a month ago, she and Tom have no children and there is no pre-nup. There were rumors of affairs, living separate lives, and major financial problems that stemmed from Tom’s many lawsuits, and then this:

Tom responded to Erika’s divorce filing a couple of weeks ago and requested to terminate the court’s ability to award spousal support to Erika and he demanded that she pay his attorney fees! Erika had requested spousal support in her original November 2nd filing, and also asked that the courts block Tom from requesting spousal support from her.

From her? What does she have exactly, other than some hooker heels, tons of hideous wigs and the most atrocious ALLEGEDLY couture wardrobe ever seen?

I am so ready for the next season of RHoBh because last season Erika, who shares little of her personal life on the show, was obsessed with getting Denise Richards to reveal every intimate detail of her life, including an ALLEGED with Brandi Glanville. 

Karma is a bitch, Erika, so let’s see how much you share of prenups and cheating and embezzling.

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Wendy Williams continues to make friends everywhere, with her latest target being living legend, Dionne Warwick. While talking about Warwick on her show, Wendy brought up an old marijuana charge against Dionne and said she thought Warwick might still be lighting up; Dionne then took to Twitter to demand that Wendy keep her name out of her mouth, but you know Williams.

She went back on TV and claims that Warwick hates her, but called her “a beautiful woman”, saying:

“She doesn’t like me though, I know she doesn’t like me. She’s been here. She’s a friend to the show. She’s a friend to the show ’cause she has something to promote and we’re the social influencers and she’s smart … But, once she gets off the show, you know she’s probably like, “Bitch.” It’s okay, Ms. Warwick, it’s okay.”

First off, Wendy, she’s one of many people who don’t like you; now, back to snark: Wendy claimed it’s Dionne’s niece, Brittani, who comes up with Dionne’s Tweets, and then suggested she does so because Dionne gets so high that she can’t work the social media. And that’s when she reminded everyone of that 2002 arrest where Dionne was caught with weed:

“I totally believe that she is doing her own tweeting, but I think that Brittani is her right hand. After Aunt Dionne does what she wants, after midnight, maybe after some bud… Well, you remember a few years ago, Aunt Dionne was stopped at the Miami airport trying to get back to Jersey and … TSA stopped Aunt Dionne and opened up a lipstick tube and found four, excuse me, 11 pre-rolled joints. Oh yeah … she’s still [smoking weed]. After midnight, a little bud, a little Chardonnay.”

Odd that Wendy, who has publicly had her own years and years of substance abuse issues, would sink that low. Well, not odd at all, because that’s Wendy Williams: low.

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Now, before y’all think I’ve lost my mind, this story is true: Saved By The Bell’s Mario Lopez will be playing … wait for it … Colonel Sanders, of KFC fame, in a movie for Lifetime.

I know! Luckily, it’s a 15-minute holiday romance murder movie called A Recipe for Seduction that centers around Colonel Harland Sanders as the main love interest in what they call a “Lifetime Original Mini-Movie Presented by Kentucky Fried Chicken.” The official synopsis on Lifetime’s website says:

“As the holidays near, an heiress [played by Bosch alum Justene Alpert] contends with the affections of a suitor handpicked by her mother. When the handsome chef arrives with his secret recipe and a dream, he sets in motion a series of events that unravel the mother’s plans.”

Secret recipe and a dream? Get ready for a slew of Finger Lickin’ Good jokes when the movie “premieres” December 13^th … at noon.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

I’ll admit I know next nothing about Aubrey O’Day except that she’s had Junior’s dick inside of her, but this is far more interesting.

After that last debate, O’Day decided to drop her own October Surprise by spilling the tea on the _____’s … well,  except for the self-appointed LGBQIIA—that’s what she called us when she declared herself an ally—Tiffany.

Aubrey started off by Tweeting that she had been f**ked by Junior more than once … I guess he couldn’t get it right … after meeting him on the fifth season of The Celebrity Apprentice in 2012, but then she turned her attention to the debates. 

When _____ brought up Hunter Biden, Aubrey, who is clearly Team Biden, Tweeted that Junior hates his Daddy—because Daddy loves Ivanka more—and then claimed that Daddy ______ banged an unnamed  Miss Universe from his show, and that Favorite Child, Ivanka, is a down-low Lesbian.

Oh, the shade! Aubrey later deleted that tweet—though nothing tweeted ever really dies, as you can see below—and then even went after littlest _____, Barron, calling him a spoiled little bitch:

“and while we are at it.. I have texts of don jr telling me what a little sh*t a**hole barron is. That they were on the private jet and barron didn’t like his food so he threw the plate across the plane at the attendant. NONE of these people are INNOCENT of being assholes & liars!”

She sent another tweet—also since deleted—that read:

“We need to stop discussing kids.. because Ivanka is a lesbian, yet doesn’t support women’s rights in this administration that she RUNS on the low.”

Now, I don’t know if Ivanka is a lesbian—and if she is, we really don’t want her,  so there’ll be no Toaster Oven coming her way—but I do believe she might be asexual, because she went straight from a Daddy who gropes her ass, said he’d date her, right into gender-neutral Ken Doll, Jared Kushner, who appears to wince whenever Ivanka is near.

Just sayin’.

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Wendy Williams is flailing again.

Last week, viewers of her show noted that she seemed unable to stay on topic, slurred her words, and was a sloppy, incoherent rambling mess; and this is different, how? But when one fan took to Instagram to express concern, former Wendy Williams Show DJ, DJ Boof—who recently exited the show with no explanation—responded that “everyone there is afraid to speak up” and hinted at more trouble for the show:

“Yup exactly and it will all come out. Y’all have no idea what’s really going on and everyone there is afraid to speak up because they don’t wanna lose their jobs. This is going to play out bad. I feel sorry for the workers and victims.”

Well, we’ve been here before; Wendy has struggled with sobriety in the past, including a stint in a sober house back in 2019. And there was the day she fainted on air, and other shows featuring more erratic behavior, which she attributed to Graves disease, a thyroid condition that can cause cognitive impairment … and worse when paired with drugs and alcohol.

And her staff does nothing? This is just another case of hangers on allowing their meal ticket to self-destruct because, were she to quit the show and get the help she needs, their paychecks would end.

Wendy’s show was renewed through the 2022 TV season and that’s a lot of coins for the staff and crew … if they can keep Wendy working.

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Oh, out of touch media whores make the best stories.

Kim Kardastrophe West understands the plight of the average American because when she recently celebrated her 40th birthday, she opted for a simple, low-key affair which involved flying her “closest inner circle” to a private island where they “danced, rode bikes, swam near whales, kayaked, watched a movie on the beach and so much more.”

In a pandemic. But she made sure she reminded her fans … fans? … that her little soiree to celebrate herself is “for most people … something that is so far out of reach right now.” You know, cuz you’re poor and your mother never sold your sex tape to a porn site to make you a “star.” But even better, and more telling, than her being an entitled self-absorbed damn the pandemic I want cake little bitch princess made a point of inviting all her nearest and dearest … except her husband.

Ah, love.

PS Yes, that’s a ‘16’on KK’s Kake, and, no, she’s not 16-years-old … that’s her IQ.

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Then there’s Kanye, who didn’t attend was campaigning for president wasn’t invited, but did send a gift … a hologram of KK’s late father Robert Kardashian that showered KK with reassuring words and compliments and ended like this:

“You married the most, most, most, most, most genius man in the whole world—Kanye West.”

His gift was her dead father saying she’d married a genius that he had never met, or even heard of … That’s so Kanye!

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Oh, dear goddess, she wants to be an actress.

A new movie starring Priyanka Chopra and Sam Heughan is being made, but no one cares about them because …. Celine Dion is going to be in the movie as well.

The film, Text For You, is a remake of a foreign film about texting. Chopra plays a woman whose fiancé dies, and she starts sending romantic texts to his old cell. Trouble is, the old number has been reassigned to Heughan, who is also dealing with the loss of the love, and through the music of Dion they learn to carry on and love again.

Barf. To the movie and Celine Dion.

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Y’all know that the talk show hosts have been doing their shows from home these days, right? Well, one talk show host, the chic and stunning and impeccably mannered Wendy Williams is pissed at all of them.

In a recent interview with CNN—sinking low—Wendy shared some of her deepest nonsensical thoughts about how she’s managing to cope so beautifully as a remote entertainer … which is odd given she’s not even remotely entertaining. Still, Wendy had some doubts about doing her show hot mess from home because she calls it her ‘scared space,’ but when other hosts began doing the show-from-home thing she wasn’t happy with how their homes looked:

“Looking disgusting. I’m just saying.”

Wendy goes one step further by saying she’s better at this ‘from home’ stuff because she spent years on the radio; now, to be fair, she has a face made for radio.

“If it wasn’t for radio, I could not do this quarantine thing from home properly. I’ve so enjoyed this 11, going on 12, years of doing the talk show with the studio and hundreds of people and clapping…”

Hundreds of people? Counting is hard.

“I’ve so enjoyed that, but it is much easier for me as a host to be here at home, with no audience, because it’s always been about description. You know, I’ve been a radio host longer than I’ve been a TV host, so yes, right. Thank God for radio.”

Yes, because the less people see you, the better. Now, here’s another thought, trying doing a Silent Movie style radio show. I think that works for all of us. I’m just saying.

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It’s a One-Percent world and the rest of us are just trying to hang on.

David and Victoria Beckham are ALLEGEDLY worth $500 million dollars, but even the wealthiest of us need government assistance … right before we spend $20 million on a luxury Miami penthouse.

It seems that millionaire fashion “designer” Victoria Beckham asked for a British government handout during the pandemic to help furlough the employees of her fashion brand, and then plunked down $20 million on a new home.

Yup, Victoria’s fashion brand took $185,000 in government assistance over the span of two months to assist in paying her employees while she then wrote a check for $20 million. Like I said, it’s a One-Percent world. Still, to be fair, when word broke that Vicki went on the dole and then bought a penthouse, she declared she’d stop taking government assistance.

How big of her.

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Speaking of self-entitled media whores … Khloe Kardastrophe.

Despite the fact that toilet paper is one of the most scarce commodities in the pandemic, Khloe-Seeking-Attention, and her nephew Mason Disick, decided to TP Kourtney Kardastrophe’s house and then filmed it and put it all over social media because, again, it’s a One Percent world—though in this case I mean people whose brains only fire 1% of the time.

Here are some people responding to the stupidity that is all things Kardastrophe:

“Not that you care, @khloekardashian & @kourtneykardash, but my family had to use McDonald’s napkins for toilet paper last month. Congrats on being worthy of so much more than the rest of us that you didn’t think twice before posting your TP ‘prank’”

“khloe kardashian deciding to teepee kourtneys house with rolls of toilet paper just shows obnoxious & selfish rich people are even during a pandemic”

“Stores are limiting 1 pack of toilet paper per customer (when there’s any in stock). Meanwhile Khloe Kardashian is TPing her sister’s mansion”

Talk about self-entitled media whores out of touch. Better yet, don’t.

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As you all definitely know, presidential candidate Joe Biden has been accused of sexual assault by former Senate aide Tara Reade and, while some people get Tara Reade-with-an-E-at -the-end confused with aging starlet, former bad girl—pre-Lohan—and Shaknado “star” Tara Reid, Tara-no-E-at-the-end is out to capitalize on it.

Yes, capitalize on a sexual assault allegation.

Tara Reid is suing this mess to do speaking engagements, according to literary … did I spell that right … i-l-l-i-t-e-r-a-t-e … yes, talent manager, Philippe Ashfield:

“Tara Reid is set for motivational speaking on female empowerment and equal pay for women in Hollywood, after all she has been judged for being beautiful, blonde and female for many years before the #MeToo movement happened… Tara is set to make a major comeback in the next 12 months.”

Um, Tara Reid has been judged mostly for being an out-of-control wannabe and has-been who spent more time in the gutter than anyone—except Lohan—and whose biggest claim to fame is the time the straps on her slip dress slid off on a red carper, exposing her much-siliconed breast to the elements and she had no idea because … silicone.

Like that’s a TED talk I need.

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We all know that in recent months Ellen DeGeneres has been dragged across social media for claiming that isolating in any one of her mansions was like being in jail and for perhaps not being near as nice as she claims and screwing her TV  crew and staff during the quarantine, leaving them unpaid and uncertain if they’d have a job when this is over.

Well, foot stomp, head snap, Ellen does not like the criticism. A source—possibly Portia—says:

“Ellen is at the end of her rope. She thought this was all just sour grapes from a few haters. But it’s not a passing thing—the hits just keep coming.”

Look, I like Ellen, but she has shown herself to be out-of-touch and a bit self-entitled and a tad bit greedy these last few months. And while her quarantine shows are performing well in the ratings, I think she’ll be doing damage control for some time.

Like, perhaps, starting with an apology …?

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I’m sorry, I know they’re both adults, but that photo is all kinds of creepy. That troll doll on the right is 33-year-old …who seriously looks older … Mary-Kate Olsen, and the old guy is her, she hopes, soon-to-be ex-husband Olivier Sarkozy.

The lovebirds separated recently, and MKO—it’s too much to write her full name—wanted an emergency divorce filing granted after Olivier terminated the lease on their Gramercy Park apartment because she felt forced out with nowhere to go.

Sidenote: there are tons of bridges in New York were trolls can live.

But this darn virus has ruined MKO’s plans because her emergency order request  has been deemed “not essential” and with the courts in NYC closed, well, let’s just say the bridges are looking like a nice alternative.

MKO’s demand was rejected last month by Manhattan Supreme Court Justice Michael Katz because the “essential matter procedure” was not followed. Oops, a One-Percenter didn’t follow the rules? The only odd thing about that is that the One-Percenter was then treated like an everyday normal person.

But here’s what gets me … MKO wants the emergency filing because Olivier sold their apartment and she has nowhere to live and nowhere to put her things.

Seriously, a rich troll can’t get a U Haul and some POD storage lockers?

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I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Oh, Tyra Banks, where have you been. A few years back you said you were creating your own Disneyland, called, Modelland, and then you vanished? Wha’happen?

Well, Tyra is back y’all, and she’s got the deets on her, ahem, attraction, Modelland. Appearing on The Talk, Tyra said that Modelland is “Harry Potter meets the modeling industry” with a little Wakanda thrown in there and is based on her self-published YA novel of the same name.

Modelland! The book and the experience! It’s set in an “alternate universe” and visitors are encouraged to join the #TheUpRiXing led by “Tookie De La Crème, and her squad of atypical beauty rebels.” At Modelland, one can rail against rigid beauty standards while taking selfies and enjoying some Smize Cream.

Seriously. And then Tyra scurried over to The View and told those ladies that her goal is to “bring modeling to the masses” where everybody can “come to Los Angeles, California”—well, to be fair, Santa Monica—where the #TheUpRiXing has opened up a portal “for everybody to come and show their beauty and their booty matters.”

Sounds like a crash and burn if you ask me, and it sounds like Tyra BanX will have no mo money in the bank when this hot mess of a bad idea slinks into the ocean off the Santa Monica Pier.

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Last weekend, Amie Harwick, a 38-year-old sex therapist who was engaged to Drew Carey in 2018 before they broke up,was apparently murdered when she fell from a third-story balcony at her home in the Hollywood Hills; police are investigating and have arrested her ex-boyfriend Gareth Pursehouse who has been described as a stalker and who Amie had a restraining order out against until it expired two weeks ago. Now, this isn’t gossip; it’s sad. But it leads us to the gossip, which concerns one flapping-lipped-ignorant-loudmouth who goes by the name of Wendy Williams.

Yes, Wendy Williams shoved her big old foot in her yap …again. The murder of this woman is clearly not a laughing matter, but that didn’t stop Williams from going into a deeply bad taste when she told the audience that Amie fell to her death:

“She was killed not by Drew–but by the ex, um…’Come on down!’…”

Yes. Come on down, about a woman who may have been pushed to her death.

That’s the vile Wendy Williams, who actually appeared stunned when her audience groaned at her attempt at death humor.

Pig. I wonder how far down Williams will go next week…

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It looks like maybe Al Pacino should have his girlfriend’s sign an NDA because his current ex, Israeli actress, Meital Dohan has confirmed that she and Al are over because … wait for it … he’s old and he’s cheap.

Meital, 43, and Al, 36 … years older than that, dated for about two years after meeting at a Hollywood party. Now, what gets me is that Meital had to know Al was old because the man made The Godfather nearly fifty years ago; do the math! But it was just Old Man Al, it was Cheap Old Man Al; or, as Meital says:

“It’s hard to be with a man so old, even Al Pacino. The age gap is difficult, yes. I tried to deny it, but now he is already an elderly man, to be honest. So even with all my love, it didn’t last.”

Meital was asked about Al’s gifts and said:

“He only bought me flowers… How can I say politely that he didn’t like to spend money?”

And yet she still wants to be friends with that cheap old dude:

“I had a fight with him and left him recently, but of course I really love and appreciate him, and I was glad to be there for him when he needed me, and to be a part of his legacy. It’s an honor for me. I’m glad this relationship happened between us, and hope we remain good friends.”

Perhaps she hopes to land a spot in the will where Al will leave her zippety-do-dah-day nada.

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Celebrities sometimes think they are just so fabulous, and then they go and do something so moronic.

Yes, Orlando Bloom, I’m talking to you. I will thank you for those nude paddle-boarding photos from a couple of summers ago; you have a delightful looking “second” paddle. But this is about tattoos and perhaps not thinking them through all the way.

Orlando Bloom decided to get a tattoo of his son Flynn’s name rendered in Morse code on his arm. Well. He tried to do it. The finished tattoo read “Frynn,” rather than “Flynn” and sharp-eyed trolls noticed it straight away.

Luckily the permanent faux pas was fixed rather easily with the addition of a dot …or was is a dash.

But, let this be a lesson to you out there in blogland who want to get a tattoo: Double-triple-quadruple-check the spelling!

I have some Chinese symbols tattooed on my ankle and I thought they read: Compassion, Friendship, Peace and Truth, but I recently found out it means: Bring me another margarita.

Luckily, either way works for me.

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