Bobservations

Carlos and I got into a discussion of those faux christians—small c—who are really the problem with religion because they believe they’re job is set others on the straight and narrow, rather than just worrying about themselves and inflicting their beliefs on others.

 Carlos muttered something about ear wax and how they don’t listen and I said:

“Huh?”

“Wax fills their ears and they cannot hear.”

“Where is all this wax coming from?”

“All the candles.”

“So, their lack of understanding comes from ears full of wax because churches have too many candles.”

“Exactly.”

“I’ll pray for you.”

And I did.

This Tuxedo Says is from May 2021:

We have no idea exactly how old Tuxedo is. When we rescued him from an animal hospital Carlos managed in Miami, he was a grown-assed cat, so I’m thinking he was a year or more then. We’ve lived in Camden for almost fifteen years [at the time of this post], and had him for about a year or so before that, so he’s seventeen? Eighteen? Just a guess.

And he’s getting older. He has issues with his kidneys and is on a special diet, which he actually loves; and he’s so smart that he will not even bother with the “other cat’s” food but will wait for his meals. He’s also lost some muscle mass in his back legs and so he is no longer a jumper. That cat that used to jump to a high closet shelf, a bathroom counter, a high bed, now doesn’t jump at all, and when he wants to sit in my lap, he puts his front paws on my knee and I hoist him up.

However, he still loves sitting in a windowsill on a sunny morning, and the sills at Casa Bob y Carlos are about 14 inches off the ground but even that’s too high for him; and, because some vicious person declawed him before we saved him, he has no front claws to help him up. So, again, he’s very smart, he uses his paws to grab the sill and then stretches his legs out so that his, what I would call forearms, are on the sill, and he lifts himself onto the sill, and then naps.

Breaks my heart, but he makes do and is still a loving sweet smart boy.

Goddess I miss that cat …

Diane Keaton was one of my favorite actors and from watching her interviews one of my favorite kinds of people. I loved her style, her hats and her joie de vivre. She passed away last weekend quite suddenly leaving behind two children.

RIP ... and thank you.

We have begun the kitchen remodel and, as you can see from the top photo, that’s the ‘old’ kitchen on the morning of demo.

We have moved the dishes and pots and pans to the dining room, and the food from the cupboards to boxes in the dining room. The coffee maker and expresso machine, as well as the microwave, are in the laundry room. In the morning Carlos makes the rounds from dining room—for oatmeal—to the torn-out kitchen—for milk—to the laundry room—to make the café con leche.

It's a journey but hopefully we’ll be 90% done by sometime next week.

PS That’s the demolished kitchen below along with a photo of the stone we picked out for the countertops.

Kim Kardastrophe who never met a thirst trap she didn’t want to dive into has come up with a new product: her company, Skims, announced that they would be entering the merkin market, launching a line of thongs named ‘The Ultimate Bush.’

The collection of thongs features a variety of hair textures and tones attached to the front and the collection was launched via a campaign video set on a retro 1970s-style game show called ‘Does the Capet Match the Drapes’  with the tagline:

“With our daring new Faux Hair Panty, your carpet can be whatever color you want it to be.”

Like I said, thirsty for attention.

Y’all remember we had the skylights removed in the sunroom. And since we had to have the ceiling replaced, I opted to change the color form the light blue to a more vibrant one and since I was changing that color why not paint over the yellow walls with a more vibrant green.

The new paint choices were taken from the Golden Girls Rattan Chairs we’ve had for eons!

Rosita is confused by the kitchen being empty and the breakfast table in the sunroom and their food dishes in a new spot, too. And so when I came into the living room one morning she was under a chair resting her chin on the stretched bar between the two legs.

She seems spent.

This is Gianluca Vallata. He’s six feet tall. He might be from Istanbul, he might not be. I know nothing about him, but Would You Hit It?

It's Monday and I'm ...

Goldie Hawn says that fifty-seven years ago, when she was just twenty, she ALLEGEDLY had an out-of-this-world experience with an extra-terrestrial. She claims  she was in the desert, sleeping in her car when the aliens came upon her and …

“They touched my face, and it felt like the finger of God. It was the most benevolent, loving feeling. This was powerful. It was filled with light.”

Yet it took her fifty-seven years to announce it … like when her career is kind of over and maybe she needs a job?

Kim Kardastrophe has announced the launch of Skims’ Ultimate Nipple Bra in which you can pay $62 for a bra with built-in fake nipples. Kardastrophe says:

“The Earth’s temperature is getting hotter and hotter. The sea levels are rising. The ice sheets are shrinking. And I’m not a scientist, but I do believe everyone can use their skillset to do their part. That’s why I’m introducing a brand-new bra with a built-in nipple—so no matter how hot it is, you’ll always look cold.”

And she’ll always look stupid.

Justin Timberlake is “not at all happy” about what Britney Spears has written in her new memoir about their time together.

I guess being called a pig who forced an abortion on his girlfriend who didn’t want one, and then broke up with her in a two-word text and wrote a song about the breakup called ‘Cry Me A River’ hurts?

Truth always does.

For a hot minute, the broke-ass Tori Spelling had moved out of her $100-a-night motel she was sharing with her five or six kids, and out of the camper they lived in, and moved into a house she rented for $18,000 a month.

Looks like the whole ‘I’m poor’ and can’t afford a house bull shit was just that. But wait, there’s more … 

Tori moved out of her expensive rental just days after settling in because , ALLEGEDLY  man with a gun took a hostage in the house down the street.

Apparently the neighbors were getting more press than Tori and she couldn’t stand it.

Speaking of memoirs, Rebecca Romijn has yet to react to her ex-husband John Stamos’ memoir bombshells  but her husband, Jerry O’Connell, is telling anyone and everyone that Romjin didn’t “get any warning” about being in the book.

Seriously? Your ex-husband writes the story of his life and you’re shocked you’re in it?

Thirst traps.

It's Monday and I'm ...

I’m not sure who annoys me more, Taylor Swift or Jada Pinkett Smith, but I do know I wish one would stop talking and the other would stop faux-dating.

Apparently Lou Diamond Phillips just moved to Scarsdale, New York and his realtor took to Facebook to ask the citizens of Scarsdale to be his friends. Really, Lou?

Rumor has it that David Beckham has been cheating on Victoria for quite some time, but since none of it was with me I don’t really care.

After getting her pregnant and coercing her into an abortion, Justin Timberlake broke up with the pop tart in a text that said: “It’s over.” Justin’s a pig.

Is this a new thing in Hollywood? First Jada says she and Will have been separated since 2016—perfect timing for her “entanglement” with her son’s friend—and now Meryl Streep and her husband announce they have been living apart for six years.

Color me shocked, but :::gulp::: Kim Kardastrophe ain’t have bad starring in this season’s American Horror Story. Of course, she plays a vile human being so is it really “acting”?

I’m just gonna say that if you’re hosting SNL but you need Pedro Pascal, Mick Jagger and Lady Gaga to assist you, should you really be hosting? And what the f**k is a Bad Bunny?

Meanwhile, back at Kim Kardastrophe, she just celebrated her 43^rd birthday … her ass is ten years old and her face is a newborn.

Snarky Thoughts

It looks like there’s some movement in Kevin Costner’s attempts to get soon-to-be ex-wife Christine Baumgartner out of the family manse. According to Kevin, Christine is squatting in HIS house because, according to their prenup, she was supposed to get out within 30 days of her May 1 divorce filing. And even though Kevin gave her $1 million to find a Santa Barbara shack to rent she hasn’t packed her bags because now she wants almost $250K a month in child support to maintain the, ahem, “quality of life their three teenage kids are accustomed to" and he says Christine is holding the mansion  hostage until she’s guaranteed a big pay day. Now, all of that seems true given that Christine has ALLEGEDLY said she will only move when the court orders Kevin to cough up a dump truck of money.

My Thought: Is it too late for Kev and Chrissie to adopt me? I mean, as one of their children, I could get by on about $100K a month … a bargain in my mind.

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We’ve all had bad hair days … well, not me, mine always looks fabulous ... but poor Lana Del Rey had the Bad Hair Day to end all Bad Hair Days. Scheduled to perform at Glastonbury, alongside Guns N’ Roses, Lizzo, and Rick Astley, Lana was set to take the stage at 10:30 PM but failed to show for an embarrassingly long time because ... wait for it ... her hair took longer than anticipated; Lana acknowledged that her set might get cut short too because her mop wouldn't cooperate.

My Thought: Lana should’a slapped a wing on her melon because, as if on cue, and in mid-song, her set ended at her scheduled end time.

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As the Writer’s Guild of America [WGA] strike rages on, most actors are supporting the writers’ demands for better living wages in the age of digital streaming. It’s all about what is fair, unless you’re Kim Kardastrophe and only care about what’s fair to you. And what’s fair to Kimmy is crossing a picket line to film a wee spot in next season’s American Horror Story … I won’t be watching … and took to Twitter to talk about working, causing writer’s all through Hollywood, who are not writing for TV and Movies, to post on Twitter that Kim Kardastrophe … not to be confused with Meryl Streep but perhaps with the woman who brings Meryl her coffee ... is an idiot and a scab.

My Thought: I might be wrong, but I think the plot of this next season of AHS is the frightening idea that porn stars turned media whores think they’re actors. They’re not.

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Speaking of Hollywood couples splitting up, the low-rent version of Kevin and Christine, AKA Dean McDermott and Tori Spelling, are also separating. But unlike the Costner split, this time it’s the man causing all the fuss, with Dean now claiming that for nearly two decades after the two began cheating with one another on their former spouses and then divorced those spouses and married one another, that he is a  victim of “entitled” Tori and her endless “demands” and that he tried anything and everything to please his wife. But then, after nearly two decades, he realized that Tori was using “their marital problems to stay relevant” and so Deano is dunzo.

My Thought: Tori has never been relevant. And Dean deserves what he gets because he picked her, schtupped her, divorced his wife, married her and then made a bushel of babies.

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The reason for the existence of Maury Povich’s “talk” show was to have people on who f**ked one another, leaving the girl pregnant and wondering if the Baby Daddy was the Baby Daddy. It all boiled down to Maury reading a sheet of paper and announcing, “You are the father,” or “You are not the father,’ and cheers and tears would follow. But, after nearly sixty years … I kid, it only felt like sixty years, Maury got the ax so what is he supposed to do? Well, he’s actually selling at-home paternity tests to so people can test themselves at home.

My Thought: How much will Maury charge to travel to each home for the reveals?

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Snarky Thoughts

That old saying … everything old is new again is still old … if you’re former Grey’s Anatomy actor Katherine Heigl. I mean, it was over thirteen years ago that Heigl publicly dissed her paycheck by saying the writing on the show was low quality and she worked too much and then quit the show for a film career that went nowhere, and now she’s talking about it again.

My Thought: Heigl, set to co-star with that bastion of straight man energy, John Travolta, thinks the best way to get attention is to talk about what a spoiled brat she was on her last big gig? Sorry, hon.

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Now that Vin Diesel’s and Duane Johnson have kissed and made up—Johnson is set to return to the Fast and Furious franchise—Vin needs another person to blame for the bad things in life … like the reviews and box office for Fast X. Diesel is now blaming newcomer Jason Momoa‘s “overacting” on the film’s terrible reviews.

My Thought: I know the glare from your oversized melon may be clouding your vision but take a look in the mirror Vin and see what the two movies have in common and that might explain the lack of interest.

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After six years of dating, and all kinds of rumors an impending wedding, Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn broke up just as Swifty started her Eras Tour and quicker than you could say Damn she’s thirsty for attention, Swifty fell in love hooked up with bad boy—rumored to be a racist, homophobic drug addict—Matty Healy. Swifty even gushed from the stage one night that this was the happiest she’d ever been in her whole life.

My Thought: I hope she has a good memory and can hold onto that thought because Swifty and her happiness just broke up after a few weeks of dating.

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Remy Ma—she’s a rapper, I Googled her for y’all—recently celebrated her 43rd birthday but she claims she’s only thirty-five; oh, not because she’s not feeling 43 and trying to hide her age. Remy Ma is 43 but she was in jail for six years, and there were those two years of COVID restrictions and lockdowns, so she’s just thirty-five.

My Thought: I just heard of Remy Ma and she has become the biggest fool I’ve seen. I just subtracted 5 minutes from my life for posting this.

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From the Height of Delusional file comes word that Kim Kardastrophe wants y’all to know she’s shy in the bedroom. Kimmy was sharing her bedroom shyness on her TV show while discussing how Cher  and her much younger boyfriend, Alexander Edwards, were seen making out at a party:

“I would just be insecure.”

And then Kimmy said she prefers to make love get banged with the lights off.

My Thought: She likes the lights off during sex unless she's filming it, like she did with Ray J, so That Woman could sell the video for a reality show career. Oh, and shy in the bedroom doesn't translate to paparazzi shots and magazine covers where Kimmy shows everything to everyone all at once.

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Snarky Thoughts

Beyoncé and Jay-Z are reportedly the new owners of the most expensive house in California after they plunked down $200 million in cash for this, um, er, prison house … in Malibu. There are some 40,000 square feet in the house and it sits on 8 coastal acres.

My Thought: It would have been, I’m guessing, cheaper to buy San Quentin and turn it into a huge-ass house and you’d have City and Bay Views.

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I love Rita Moreno but the 91-year-old star and I will come to blows if she keeps this shiz up. Rita attended a performance of the new Broadway show “The Sign in Sidney Brustein’s Window”—she played the female lead in its 1964 original run—and after the show she got a little flirty with the show’s star, one Oscar Isaac, telling him:

“I have a thing for brooding actors. I dated Marlon Brando, you know.”

Isaac, who’s married with two children, said Brando was a tough act to follow.

My Thought: I saw him first Rita and if anyone gets him, it will be me. Ninety-one or not, I will take you down.

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Now that Alec Baldwin is finally free from the manslaughter charges he’s gone back to being his impish lovable self … and by that I mean he’s once more acting like a self-entitled prick. Recently Alec and his wife, non-Latina Hilaria attended the 2023 PEN American Spring Literary Gala in New York and spies claim that the drama started when Baldwin stood up to chat with someone as “the line of servers come all at once to deliver the meals.” One female server got stuck behind Baldwin’s ample ass ego and when she passed and began setting dinners down he was not happy; the woman—who does not wish to be named—explains:

“I was going to feed the head of the table but that’s who he was talking to, so I go up to him and I say, ‘I’m sorry sir, but we’re going to have servers walking through the tables here in a minute.'”

And that’s when gracious star boorish pig Baldwin snapped:

“So when is it a good time to talk to my friends? Do I have to explain it to you?”

Not wanting to exacerbate the situation, she said she needed no explanation and he replied:

“Well then step aside.”

As she walked away he called her a peasant.

My Thought: If you can’t get him on manslaughter charges maybe you can charge him with being an overrated untalented dick.

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Oh this is rich, trying to act like an everywoman. It seems the internets are going nuts because Kim Kardashian is acting “like she’s middle class” and “complaining” about her struggles as a single mom. The woman—who shares North, Saint, Chicago, and Psalm with ex-husband Kanye West—said on Jay Shetty’s “On Purpose” podcast that parenting is “really f—king hard.”

But some listeners weren’t having a billionaire with a full staff and a ninny for each of her children complain about being a single mom.

My Thought: If The Kardastrophe’s stays on Hulu for another year, send Kim to a two-bedroom bungalow in South Central and get her a job at the neighborhood bodega to show her what real single parenthood is like.

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Julia Fox, another Kanye West cast-off, is also very Kardastrophe-like, in trying to get attention for just showing up at an event.

At the Art of Elysium 25th anniversary party in Cannes last week Fox showed up in a clear glass bra top and Klan Skirt. The structural corset top looked like it was made from a piece of glass in the form of a disfigured elephant dick held up by a clear piece of string and freeing her nipples.

For more casual wear Fox did some early morning LA shopping in slippers, a t-shirt and blazer, and a pair of men’s underwear.

My Thought: I have none. I don’t know who she is, and don’t know why people are running around photographing her at events to which she should not be invited. I guess schtupping Kanye gets you a pass?

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Snarky Thoughts

For those who remember Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth‘s short-lived marriage you might remember that it never should have happened, other than to give Miley a reason to remind Liam how ALLEGEDLY terrible he was to her in her song Flowers. Still, Miley now says she appreciates the little time they spent together thirteen years ago and admits she would never want to erase any of her former relationships because they made her the woman that she is.

My Thought: And she’s able to capitalize on all her failed relationships years after they end by turning her thirst into tunes.

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Last week, Tori Spelling confessed to her Instagram followers that she and her family have been in a “continual spiral of sickness for months” after being exposed to toxic mold in her rental home. Tori, because she lives her life on social media, posted photos of herself and her five kids at Urgent Care along with a lengthy passage explaining she finally uncovered the problem after an inspection “discovered extreme mold” and that her family “needs help.” 

My Thought: Maybe if you paid your credit card bills you could have afforded to move out of Mold Manor or, at the very least,. Had the situation remediated. Lesson to learn, kids, pay your damn credit card bills.

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Kim Kardastrophe has revealed that even though she’s only passed the “baby bar”—a nickname given to California's First-Year Law Student's Examination, which is not a prerequisite for admission to the Bar—that she plans to take the Big Girl Bar in 2025 and might even give up reality TV and her fake Instagram pictures and photoshopped paparazzi shots permanently.

My Thought: Can someone take the test for her to make sure she passes and then have her sign a legally binding letter promising to stay out of the spotlight and off social media forever?

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Speaking of Thirst Queens who love turning their so-called pain into musical coins, let’s dish for a brief moment on the break-up of Taylor’s six-year relationship with British actor Joe Alwyn. He ALLEGEDLY “feels slighted and is distraught” since the love affair ended and not so much because he misses Swifty, but because it took her about three weeks to find her new love, 1975 frontman Matty Healy.

My Thought: Fret not, Joe, because I imagine in a year or so, or maybe even sooner, you can sing and dance to Swifty’s version of the breakup.

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Snarky Thoughts

Remember back in 2012 when Kim Kardastrophe was still a bit of a nobody? That was the year that PETA “flour bombed” to aspiring media whore on the red carpet of her True Reflection perfume launch and we all cackled at a Kardastrophe covered in flour. Well, now it seems that a PR rep who worked with Kimmy during that time said the whole thing was a planned “media moment.”

My Thought: What? Kim planned the flour bombing to get attention? Why she would never, that’s so unlike her.

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Recently Real Housewife of Salt Lake City, Jen Shah, was sentenced for her wire fraud scam where she stole money from the elderly and the poor to feed her lavish lifestyle, so what does a convict do? Well, scam artist Shah took 20 people to Italian hotspot Valbella at the Park in New York City and ate and drank their way through the menu.

My Thought: I guess six and a half years in prison rather than 14 is worth celebrating, though not for the elderly, whose money she stole. A shame she couldn't have used some of the money to buy herself a soul or a conscience.

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Apparently director Michael Bay is a wanted man in Italy for a crime he ALLEGEDLY committed a few years back while filming his Netflix action movie, 6 Underground. What did he do, you ask? Or didn’t ask? Bay is ALLEGED to have murdered a pigeon while filming or, to be fair, having a pigeon murdered while filming.

My Thought: He’s in trouble for this but got off scot-free for those Transformer abominations? There is literally no justice.

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And you all thought Kim would get married first, but, no, y’all, Kanye’s off the market after marrying a Yeezy employee named Bianca Censori who looks a lot like a certain  media whore with a giant ass. But maybe it’s all for The Ye Crazy Hour because he and the bride never filed a marriage certificate to make their union a legally binding one.

My Thought: When the meds kick back in, Kanye will move along from this Kim Kardastrophe Knockoff™ mess.

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Oh Gwen Stefani, does no one around you ever say, “Stop talking”? People have been calling Gwen a “culture vulture” since her No Doubt days when she did discount Pocahontas drag, but she’s upped her game since then by fully committing to Japanese culture after releasing her debut album Love. Angel. Music. in 2004. And so now, eighteen years later, Stefani is responding to the hate she’s received for appropriating another culture by saying … with a straight face … to an Asian-American journalist … that she, too, is Japanese. And that’s because … wait for it … she said this with a straight face, too … her father once worked for Yamaha. The interviewer also claims that Gwen identifies as both Hispanic and Latinx and Japanese and English, and that the day after these ridiculous statements her rep contacted her to say that she misunderstood Gwen.

My Thought: Gwen said to the reporter, “I’m Japanese.” Someone needs to sit Gwen down and explain cultural appropriation to her, and then ask that she just stop … she’s an effing white girl from effing Anaheim!

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Snarky Thoughts

Did she or didn’t she? It looks like Ivanka cropped Junior’s side-piece, Kimberly Guilfoyle, out of a photo from Tiffany’s Mar-Illegal wedding over the weekend. Ivanka posted the photo to social media but sharp-eyed netizens noticed the subtle difference between the original photo and Vanky’s post.

My Thought: Was it done because Ivanka’s a hate-filled bitch or because, while the other ladies at the wedding wore pastel colored prom gowns, Guilfoyle wore her Witch’s attire? Oh, and in that top photo, think of the group like this:

Traditional family values are when, on your wedding day, you stand between your mom and the woman your dad cheated on your mom with, who is standing next to your half-sister whose mom your dad cheated on with your mom.

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Kanye West wrecked his career in the span of just a few weeks after he wore a “White Lives Matter” shirt, spoke out against Jewish people in an anti-Semitic rage, and it was revealed he is obsessed with Hitler. But the capper that may cost him the few coins he has left is that he suggested that George Floyd died from a fentanyl overdose instead of being murdered by police, and that claim may lead to a lawsuit from George Floyd’s family.

My Thought: Can no one get his ass into a mental hospital?

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The always thirsty Madonna has decided to express herself again by taking her over-inflated breasts out on Instagram in an apparent effort to remind people that she was once daring and, well, a fully human woman, and not just a 3D plastic copy.

My Thought: Maybe get Kanye and Madge a double room in the nut-house? And, does anyone else think she looks like a pool floatie with too much air?

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Kim Kardastrophe is savvy about one thing … getting press on herself. And this time she did it by showing up at Tracee Ellis Ross’ pre-Halloween birthday dinner dressed as “X-Men” character Mystique only to find out no one else was in costume … because it was a birthday party. And, because her life is lived on social media, Kardastrophe instantly posted to Instagram:

“That time I showed up to a birthday dinner in full costume when it wasn’t a costume party!”

My Thought: She knows what she’s doing and does this for the attention. I kinda wish Tracee had kicked her blue ass to the curb.

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In 2020, Miss Argentina, Mariana Varela, and Miss Puerto Rico, Fabiola Valentín, faced off at the Miss Grand International 2020 beauty pageant and they both won … each other’s hearts. Yes, Miss Argentina married Miss Puerto Rico!

My Thought: Ain’t love grand!

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