I Ain;t One To Gossip But ...

Last summer Cuba Gooding Jr. was charged with ALLEGEDLY groping a woman in a nightclub. And though he turned himself in to police, he ended up pleading not guilty to the charges.

Now, there was some video evidence, but Cuba was sticking to his story. And he paid a team of lawyers to shame his accuser by challenging her metal state, but the judge was buying it; Cuba went to court to face those charges … and he was hit with different charges for a separate event.

Gooding showed up to court thinking he was there to deal with the sexual assault case against him, which he was, but it was a different sexual assault case when the Manhattan D.A. told the judge there was a different incident with Cuba and this was their basis for a new charge.

Must be hard trying to keep all those women you groped straight, so you know what charge you’re fighting when you go to court, eh Cuba?

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Rapper Cardi B probably doesn’t write her own stuff, but the girl knows how to mouth off.

Exhibit A: Cardi ranting about Access Hollywood and a story on her in which they claim that Cardi’s daughter, Kulture—is she a Kardastrophe—calls someone else “mommy” because Cardi is working so much and never around. Cardi B lost her mind at this story, saying Access Hollywood “chopped up” her actual quote:

“A lot of people expect me to be in the studio, and then I gotta do other shit, like I filmed for Rhythm + Flow, I filmed for Hustlers, I’m working on fucking Fashion Nova … I’m sorry if I take time of my day that I could be five hours in the studio, but I’m spending five hours with my kid… Yes, I could have somebody babysit my kid, but it’s like, it’s a wack feeling when your kid don’t fucking…not even trying to fuck with you and try to call somebody else mommy.”

And she shamed Access Hollywood for chopping it up to create a narrative:

“That’s not what the fuck I said. Don’t use my motherfucking kid for clickbait bitch. Don’t fucking cut shit off, try to make me look like I’m a fuck-ass mom ‘cause that’s not something that I’m not.”

And she goes on:

“Access Hollywood suck my whole dick. Suck a dick, I hope your fucking mom catch AIDs, bitch.”

Wow, and she really is someone’s mother. Lovely.

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Former Fox News bimbo, and conservative tool for the party of Family Values, Stacey Dash, was recently arrested for domestic battery until her victim-husband bailed her out and dropped the charges.

That should have been a sign to shut up and move on, but when you’re Stacey Dash and you live for publicity, well, talk talk talk.

Dash is claiming that her recent time in jail for domestic battery was a result of a “martial spat that escalated” and that it happens to normal couples.

Huh? Bitch please.

“Like normal married couples my husband and I had a martial dispute that escalated.”

Sorry Stacey, I’ve been with Carlos 19 years and we’ve had spats and fights, and never once has it “escalated” into physical assault.

That’s you.

PS Stacey Dash was held in the Land O’ Lakes detention facility in Florida. Seriously? A butter-churning detention center? I thought that would be just for farmers or Amish people.

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Ricardo Chavira played Eva Longoria’s TV husband on Desperate Housewives and so maybe that’s why he had some thoughts on Felicity Huffman getting a soft slap on the wrist for her involvement in the Operation Varsity Blues scandal.

He was pissed, and maybe not just because his TV wife, Eva Longoria wrote a glorious letter to the judge asking him to go easy on Felicity; what, like give her three days instead of fourteen. Bitch please. Anyway, Chavira doesn’t seem to think Felicity is all that, and took to Twitter, because, of course, to vent:

“White Privilege. And I saw Eight years’ worth of it, so I know what I’m talking about. Accountability and Responsibility don’t mean shit to these people. … I’ve seen a lifetime of it being a halfbreed, and I’ve struggled with the intricacies of it on a daily basis with all the cultural bias I’ve received on both ends. But whatever. Slap on the wrist. Sorry, but this shit.”

And it is, because Felicity, while she sort of accepted responsibility, also said she was just trying to get her daughter a break because it’s tough out there for the child of millionaire celebrities.

I’m #TeamChavira because he’s right and he’s hot and I’m shallow.

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And also because I’m shallow, I’m gonna end with Angelina Jolie at the premiere of Maleficent: Mistress of Evil looking regal radiant and fierce.

That’s all.

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