The Funny Papers

Michael de Adder, Trevor Irvin, Barry Blitt, Kevin Kallaugher, Benjamin Slyngstad, Matt Wuerker, Gary Huck, Nick Anderson, Rick McKee, Lalo Alcaraz, Max Espinoza, Pedro X Molina, Ted Littleford,

Meme Dump

Bobservations

We have this guy that I’ll call Paul—cuz that’s his name—who has done plumbing work on Casa Bob y Carlos over the years but he mostly came when I was at work so I only spoke to him over the phone.

This week he was out to check one of the burners on our gas stove that appeared clogged, and one of the racks in the dishwasher with a broken wheel … nothing major. And he came back this morning and I got to meet him and I noticed a few things …

He seemed to have no issue with the two queers in the household and was friendly and talkative and nice.

He gave us a No Charge for the stove and only charged for parts for the dishwasher.

He is quite a handsome fella and he’s got these gorgeous Paul Newman Blue eyes.

I could ogle him, if I chose, and I did, and chat with him, which I did, and Carlos doesn’t notice … though I did tell Carlos about his looks and those eyes and his nature.

So it’s all good between me and Carlos … and Blue Eyes … cuz Carlos knows the score.

This Tuxedo Memory is from April 2020 when we were all housebound …

“Tuxedo seems to relish the fact that Carlos and I are in lockdown because now he has company …”

I find it interesting with all that hair on the face and the chest and yet those cakes are smooth as a silky vanilla ganache. Go figure.

Federal Judge Lewis Liman has ordered Drunkle Rudy, AKA Rudy Giuliani, AKA The Felon’s attorney and former New York mayor, to turn over his Manhattan penthouse apartment to the control of Ruby Freeman and Shaye Moss, the Georgia election workers he defamed and to whom he now owes $150 million.

The judge says Drunkle Rudy must turn over his interest in the property in seven days, so Freeman and Moss can sell it, potentially for millions of dollars. The women are also entitled to about $2 million in legal fees Giuliani has said The Felon’s campaign still owes him.

Sorry, Rudy, not sorry.

I have begun to wonder if  Demented DonOLD  wears Depends because of “the enemy within”?

I will begin by saying I adore Jessica Chastain, but gurl, when she steps in it, she steps in it …

Chastain got dragged on social media after calling out JetBlue because their inflight entertainment was down during a recent trip; and even though she, like every other passenger on the flight, was offered a $15 credit for the inconvenience, she was not having it:

“Thank you @JetBlue for your $15.00 credit. My flight was $1,500 and the credit is 1/100 of the money I paid you. Strange that I paid that for your flight entertainment system that didn’t work for the duration of my 6hr flight, but I guess it was worth it for this $15 credit.”

When the airline informed her that everyone received the same $15 credit Chastain ratcheted up her ire:

“I understand but I spent $1500 on the flight and so did my husband. There should be some flight credit or something since I have a TrueBlue account and have been a loyal customer.”

And as happens, Xwitterers came for her:

“Jessica Chastain beefing with an airline publicly on twitter shows that no matter how much money you have you’ll never stop being a millennial,”

“Is 6 hours together that horrible that you lose it over not having movies to watch?”

“Jessica Chastain is whining about paying $1,500 for a Jet Blue flight and not having a working TV. The way you can be a millionaire but still be a broke bitch at heart.”

As one Twitterer said, Jessica should learn to read the room because then she wouldn’t spend her valuable time deleting all her self-entitled, broke-ass Tweets and texts.

That moment when I get to the cash register and the cashier says, “Will that be all?” and I say, “No, I’m gonna buy more stuff but I wanted to show you what I’d picked out so far.”

Lara, married to The Dumb One, appeared on The Breakfast Club as a surrogate for The Felon and was presented with a list of racist remarks and deeds of father-in-law:

Like when the Justice Department sued The Felon for denying apartments to  Black tenants and he was ordered to place ads in newspapers saying he accepted Black applicants.

Like when he took out ads in New York papers saying the Central Park Five—who were coerced into confessing to a crime—should be given the “DEATH PENALTY.” When their convictions were vacated in 2002, and after the city paid $41 million in 2014 to settle their civil rights lawsuit, The Felon continued to defame them.

And of course, there’s ‘birtherism’ and his questions about when Kamala turned Black and his lies about Haitian migrants in Ohio eating dogs and cats and how he demonizes minorities in every single one of his sparsely attended rallies. But apparently, that’s all news to Lara:

“I think that’s ridiculous. I’ve known this man for 16 years. You can go to each of those incidents. There was never any proof of anything with the houses … there was no admission of anything there. The Central Park Five, there were so many people. You had a Democrat governor, Democrat DA who prosecuted those guys, and they admitted to it. I’ve never seen this man say a racist thing.”

And that’s when host Charlemagne The God began to laugh, forcing Lara to mutter:

“Why’s that funny, Charlemagne?”

And he said:

“I think that’s hysterical. People act like there’s no such thing as Google, or we don’t have TV.”

Cuz all you gotta do is look and there he is spewing his racist bull shiz.

Zendaya giving us her best Cher as she inducted the icon into the Rock’n’roll Hall of Fame; it was like a two-fer.

Paul Forman is a 30-year-old English and French actor and model; he has been in the Amazon Prime series Riches, the Netflix series Emily in Paris, and the Paramount+ series Stags but the real issue is Would You Hit It?

The Funny Papers

Ed Hall, Pedro X. Molina, Kevin Siers, Michael de Adder, Lalo Alcaraz, Jack Ohman, Darrin Bell, Steve Breen, Clay Bennett, Steve Brodner, Mike Luckovich, David Fitzsimmons, Gary Markstein