Bobservations

Some of you may remember the story of how we survived Hurricane Katrina in Miami—losing only the fence and part of the roof—and how that lead to our decision to move from Florida. But did you know that Carlos and I handle hurricanes differently? That Carlos falls asleep at the drop of as hat and I stay awake wondering if the house will fly away like Dorothy’s in The Wizard of Oz?

Well, as we waited for Helene to arrive I told a coworker about Carlos’s nonchalance regarding the storms and the day after the storm, when we were without power for over 14 hours, Carlos and I drove through Camden seeing what, if anything, was damaged or open or what. We ended up by my office and I noticed a couple of cars in the lot so we stopped to check and the guy I had talked to about Carlos’s hurricane reactions was there, and we started talking storm when the guy said to me:

“How did Carlos do during the storm? Did he stay awake?”

And before I could utter a sound, Carlos goodnaturedly shouted:

“I’m fucking blind! I couldn’t see a thing!”

So, that’s how he handled it.

This Tuxedo Memory if from April 2020 and entitled Things I Like #7:

A while back Maddie posted a series of posts about called Things I Like where the posts displayed Maddie’s home and some favorite things.

I took a look around the house and started with our sunroom and the plants Carlos has there, but then I came upon my absolute favorite thing …

Wasn’t he gorgeous?

I rarely go to Walmart but if they have cakes like that there, I may have to rethink my position on that store!

The great, and I mean The Great Maggie Smith—The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie to California Suite to A Room with a View to Tea with Mussolini to the Harry Potter films to The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel to The Lady in The Van to Downton Abbey—passed away last week at age 89.

RIP Dame Margaret Natalie Smith and thank you for the decades of entertainment.

The Catholic Diocese of Rockville Centre in New York announced a proposed global settlement with hundreds of sex abuse survivors, who allege they were abused as children at the DRVC’s parishes, churches, and schools.

The settlement is based on DRVC’s parishes filing for bankruptcy, and it will halt a number of jury trials against the Diocese and its parishes. The law firm of Slater Slater Schulman served as a mediation party in the historic settlement, under which a trust will receive approximately $320.5 million for the benefit of survivors.

$320,000,000.00.

Oh, and then Pope Francis promised to “offer all the help we can” to aid clergy sexual abuse victims, after a group of Belgian survivors told him first-hand of the trauma that had shattered their lives and left many in poverty and mental misery.

Howsabout turning the child rapists into the authorities to have them prosecuted? Oh, but the shame on the church …

Fuck you, Francis.

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s marriage may be over, but fans still love Mr. & Mrs. Smith even if La Jolie does not. 

And she does not; Jolie was photographed autographing a movie poster for the 2005 action flick and seemed quite stoic about doing so, even averting her eyes from Pitt’s picture on the poster.

Oh Angie, you picked him …

Teo Toranzo is an Italian model, based in Brazil, who doesn’t shy away from an avant-garde photo shoot but the real issue is: Would You Hit It?

Bobservations

Last week we took Ozzo to the vet for a checkup. The vet confirmed the eyesight is failing and the hearing is failing and the arthritis is spreading, and did bloodwork to check kidney, liver and heart levels, and then called us with the news. I listened in as Carlos talked to our vet and when he hung up I asked what was said:

“Well, he said that we ought to change our wills and leave the house and everything else to Ozzo because he's gonna outlive us all.”

Seriously.

This week’s Tuxedo Memory is from April 2011:

“Caturday

Despondent over his love for books, and his utter inability to read a single word, Tuxedo simply gave up.”

I cannot stop smiling whenever I find a photo of The Great Tuxedo sprawled flat on his back. That cat slayed me.

Shocking? No. A letter from a trusted church source based in Germany was found among the private papers of Pope Pius XII and suggests that the Pope was told in 1942 that up to 6,000 “Poles and Jews,” were being killed in furnaces every day at the Nazi death camp Belzec, in Poland.

The document adds to the evidence that some scholars say shows Pius knew about the Holocaust but did not want to confront or offend Hitler because he feared Communism, believed that the Axis powers would win the war and wanted to avoid alienating millions of German- and Nazi-sympathizing Catholics.

So he said nothing while millions more were murdered.

Fuck the Catholic Church.

A very self-important college freshman attending a recent football game took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him, loudly enough for those around them to hear, why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation:

“You grew up in a very different world, an almost primitive one. The young people of today are much more advanced than people your age. We grew up with TV, a man landing on the moon, jet place, space travel, the internet, cell phones, nuclear energy, electric and hydrogen cars, computers, AI,  automated manufacturing, amazing technologies, and …”

He paused to sip his beer and the senior citizen took advantage of the silence:

“You’re right, son. We didn’t have those things when we were young … so we invented them. But tell me, you arrogant little shit, what are YOU doing for the next generation?”

The applause was deafening.

Remember, someone came before you to make your life easier and better.

When auto CEOs say they can't afford to pay their workers more money remember that the Big Three automakers have made $250 billion in profits the past decade and have spent $66 billion on stock buybacks and dividends.

It’s not that there isn’t money for raises and bonuses, it’s that the rich want to get richer while their employees suffer.

The irony of the  Hunter Biden gun charge is that the firearm application only exists because he purchased the gun from a federally-licensed firearms dealer, which actually conducts a background check.

You know, those same background checks that Republicans don’t think you should undergo to own a gun.

Lauren Boebert Groper says it’s over between her and the guy who gave a handie to during a matinee performance of Beetlejuice because he’s a Democrat.

I think it’s because he forgot to leave twenty dollars on the nightstand before he left.

Mr-Former-Fake-One-Term-Twice-Impeached-Currently-Four-Time-Criminally-Indicted-Not-My-President-Gurl’s former attorney, Rudy Giuliani was sued this by his onetime lawyers who claim he owes them $1.36 million in unpaid legal fees.

Looks like Rudy might wanna return the cubic zirconia he bought for his mistress-turned-fiancée last week. Even the sixty bucks he gets for it might help.

This week’s offering is Ryan Greasley, a fitness and underwear model –and try as I might, I could only find that one photo of him fully clothed—who has graced the pages of magazines like DNA and MMH. But we don’t care much about that because this is: Would You Hit It?

PS To be fair, I didn’t try hard to find Ryan in clothes.

Bobservations

There are times when I feel like I’m living in a real-life version of some TV hick town where they roll the sidewalks up at 5PM every day.

Carlos recently had a court interpretation in a town called Cayce, about 45 miles from our home, and since he doesn’t drive, I took the day off from work and off we went. We got to the courthouse and went inside … there is one courtroom, and outside the courtroom door is a metal detector. Carlos told the bailiff what he was there for and we were told to have a seat and wait until the case was called.

We waited about a half hour and then another bailiff came out to tell Carlos that the client he was to translate for, had not shown up, and so the case was being held over until they could get the man there. Court was, in fact, over for the day, and it was just 9:30 AM.

But the best part was that, as Carlos filled out paperwork to get paid for his time, the bailiff walked over to the  metal detector, unplugged it, and wheeled it into a closet near the courtroom door; then she took the small table that held the one basket used to hold personal items as you went through the detector and tucked into the closet, too.

I was waiting for them to put the wheels on the courthouse and drive it to the next town for court.

Seriously, ask yourselves what the GOP has proposed to do about healthcare, or immigration, or climate change, or COVID because all they seem to do is push guns into our hands and scare us with migrants running amok over the borders and Mickey Mouse being a pedophile.

The GOP-controlled Florida Senate has voted to dissolve Disney World’s Reedy Creek Improvement District as punishment for standing against the Don’t Say Gay Bill. The Reedy Creek Improvement Act allows Walt Disney World to reside in Florida unregulated, acting as its own “government” and creating a special taxing district that acts with the same authority as a county government.

The termination of this act transfers a whopping $2 billion worth of debt from Disney over to Florida taxpayers, resulting in a new tax assessment of $2200 a year for Orange and Osceola County families.

All because Ron DeSantis got his panties in a snit.

A New Jersey Catholic diocese has agreed to pay $87.5 million to settle claims involving child raping priests with some 300 victims in one of the largest cash settlements involving the Catholic church in the United States.

You know, if the Catholic Church would simply have those rapists arrested and tried for their crimes, they might save some of the money that they are clearly fonder of than children.

Speaking of payouts … If you're ever sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and quietly say:

"Did you bring the money?"

It looks like GOPQAnon Madison Cawthorn is in hot water again!

Many North Carolinians are pissed at Maddie C. after he reportedly spent $2,950 to stay at Skylaranna—a luxury resort in his hometown of Hendersonville. And they’re even more angry that  he billed his constituents $2,000 that very same week for “food and beverages” from establishments like Chick-fil-A, Bojangles chicken, Joey’s NY Bagels, as well as a number of non-detailed payments to his government credit card.

Best of all, is that while Maddie was lounging at a luxury resort and shoving Chick-fil-A into his traitorous piehole, he Tweeted:

“Democratic politicians certainly love wasting your hard-earned tax dollars while forcing your businesses to shut down.”

Pot meet Kettle.

Once again Consuelo has expressed her displeasure that Tuxedo makes an appearance weekly in this space and she does not. So, she perched herself on the bed, slapped on her most imperious punim, and demanded to be photographed.

I obliged because she threatened to use my leg as a scratching post. Again.

I was shocked when I saw this, but it’s true … QAnon nutjob actor has-been Ricky Schroder is getting a star on the Walk of Fame.

Wait—what? It’s not the Hollywood Walk of Fame, it’s the lesser known, well, unknown, walk of fame in Valencia, so, um, yeah, congrats?

Remember the Bill O’Reilly meltdown on TV years back—if not, Google it, it’s high-larious.

Well, this week the meltdown happened again when Billy’s JetBlue flight to Turks and Caicos was delayed by several hours and he went off on an airline employee:

“You’re going to lose your job.”

And when the employee tries to respond, O’Reilly shrieks:

“You f***ing scumbag. Don’t talk to me like that.”

I don’t know what’s funnier, Bill O’Reilly going Full Karen in an airport, or Bill O’Reilly flying JetBlue.

The same Tucker Carlson who thinks gay people are disgusting is the Tucker Carlson telling men they need to tan their balls in a glowing vise.

Lastly we have model Casey Field who models for Wilhelmina. He’s kinda cute, kinda shy, kinda naked, but … Would You Hit It?

Catholic Curia Suggests Rape Victim Enjoyed It

A Catholic curia—a group of Vatican bureaucrats who assist the Pope in the exercise of his primatial jurisdiction over the Roman Catholic church—in Poland has asked for a court to determine whether or not the rape victim of a Catholic priest took “pleasure in the intimate relationship.”

The victim, Janusz Szymik, was 12 years old when the abuse began and the Catholic Church wants to know if he enjoyed being sexually assaulted by a priest.

Last year, Szymik  launched a civil case against Bielsko-Żywiec diocese seeking roughly $1 million in compensation from the curia, which he argues is responsible for abuse he suffered at the hands of a priest—named only as Jan W. under Polish privacy law—in the 1980s.

A church court had previously found Jan W. guilty of sexual offences against Szymik, and in 2017, Jan W. was given a five-year ban on conducting priestly ministry, hearing confession, and was ordered to live in isolation.

Cut to today, and the curia, really the Catholic Church, is demanding  “evidence from an expert sexologist on the determination of the claimant’s sexual preferences, in particular determination of the claimant’s sexual orientation.”

And they would like to question Szymik on his relationship with the priest, including him “showing pleasure in maintaining an intimate relationship with Jan W.” and even “deriving benefits [from it], including material benefits.”

Victim blaming is a Catholic thing, unless the victim is Catholic …

The curia also argues that, although Szymik was an altar boy, because meetings between him and Jan W,--the adult—took place outside the church they were not related to Jan W.’s ministry.

Note to child raping Catholic priests: do it outside of the church and you’re safe.

The curia claims Szymik “participated voluntarily” in his rape because “the sexual contacts did not take place during the performance of the duties entrusted to him.”

Again, pedophiles, take your business outside and the church will protect you.

In response to the publication of the diocese’s legal submission, Tomasz Terlikowski, a prominent Catholic commentator, called the questions the curia proposes asking of Szymik are indicative of a “pedophile’s model of thinking” and will cause “the victim harm again.”

Again, keep in mind that Szymik is still suffering the effects of being raped by a priest when he was twelve years old, and that the Catholic Church thinks because he may have enjoyed it, or because it didn’t happen on church property, that it really didn’t happen at all, or just doesn’t matter.

Also keep in mind that child rapist Jan W. is suspected of raping other boys while a priest, and rather than being punished of jailed for his crimes, he is quietly living a life of seclusion on the Catholic Church’s dime because they care more about their image, and their bank accounts, than they do the victims of child sexual abuse.

Notes from Poland

Bobservations

I have been having trouble sleeping lately. I wake up around 1:30AM every morning and then have trouble going back to sleep or have a fitful night’s sleep. And I’m a cranky bitch when sleep deprived.

The other night Carlos, who drinks hot chocolate nearly every night asked if I wanted some, and I thought the warm cocoa might help me sleep. Wrong. I was up at 2AM and then sleeping badly until 7AM. That next night, Carlos was making his chocolate and asked if I wanted some, and I said it didn’t really help me sleep any better, and he said:

“I thought you slept better, because you weren’t snoring non-stop.”

And that’s when it hit me. He feeds me the hot chocolate so I won’t snore and he can sleep better. It’s all about him. But I still had the cocoa and I did sleep better.

I swear, one of these days Tuxedo is gonna snap his neck with all the head shaking at the daily news.

And kinda on that same topic … if you’re a doctor or a nurse who refuses to get the vaccine then should be a fucking nurse or doctor.

Pope Frankie has announced that all visitors to the Vatican have to be vaccinated, so are Catholics gonna have to stop claiming a faith-based exemption?

I mean, that fits with the typical hypocritical Catholic ideology.

Remember when Thing 45 was in office and he was taken to Walter Reed Medical Center in the middle of the night and the White House refused to comment?

It was because he was having an "emergency" colonoscopy—and by the way, who has an emergency colonoscopy—and didn’t want people making fun of his ass on TV.

I think he was trying to remove Lindsey Graham from his ass.

Hello America …meet a prominent member of the GOP: Louisiana Senator  John Kennedy, who announced his run for re-election next year by saying he would rather drink weed killer than let his constituents down.

Seriously.

So, that wacky GOP, and their friends and allies spent months, and some $6 million, on an audit of the 2020 election to prove that Thing 45 won the state of Arizona and yet all they proved is that Biden got an additional 360 votes.

Nicely done, Arizona.

While the Pope wants to make sure the unvaccinated don’t come near him, he also wants to make sure that Archbishop Rainer Maria Woelki, who hid a report about priests raping children, can take a “spiritual time-out” from his duties.

Yes, a  spiritual time out for aiding and abetting child rapists?

Fuck them all.

I don’t like Omarosa Manigault Newman, but this makes me smile.

Thing 45 has lost an effort to enforce a nondisclosure agreement against Newman for that tell-all book she wrote about serving in his administration. Even better is that Thing 45 must pay her legal fees.

Comedian Billy Eichner is making history with his upcoming gay rom-com Bros, the first explicitly gay romantic comedy from a major Hollywood studio, by casting LGBTQ+ actors in all the roles, both gay and straight, in the film.

Good on Billy.

In this week’s edition of Would You Hit It we have actor and fitness model Eric Guilmette. Eric has a rather beautiful face, and body, though the pec tattoo does kinda bother me because I prefer a clean work surface.

Still, the rules are Simple: Would You Hit It? Yes or No.

Last week on The View, with Vice President Kamala Harris set to appear, both Sunny Hostin and Ana Navarro tested positive for COVID—later determined to be a false positive—and were removed from the show for the day.

And so Junior decided to come for Ana, a Republican anti-Thing 45 pundit, by making fun of her weight.

Trouble is, you don’t come for Ana unless she sends for you.