Update 8/13/2019

Oh.Hell.Yeah.

I'm coming home! My brother and sister-in-law are taking over the driving and so on for Dad while he goes through PT, and I'm on a flight to Chicago, and then to Columbia. I'll be home sometime early Wednesday AM with Carlos and the "kids" and are will be as it should be.

We're going to take a couple of days away, and then blogging will resume next Monday, the 19th.

And with all that's been going on i have a lot to say.

Play nice.

Blog soon.

xoxo
Bob

On This Date In ISBL History: Rebeca is King! Haleigh is Queen!

As I am in Oregon helping my Dad recuperate from knee surgery, I thought I’d do something I’ll call “On This Date In ISBL History” and repost some things from back when the blog was new, and newish … this was originally published November 2, 2011:

At last week's pep rally at Patrick Henry High School in San Diego, Rebeca Arellano was named the school's homecoming king, and at the dance the following night, Rebecca's girlfriend, Haleigh Adams, was declared Homecoming Queen. And that sits very well with the students and the school.

Rebeca was stunned by the sheers that came along with the announcement that she would be king of the dance, and was even more thrilled that Haleigh would be Queen, writing on Facebook: "I was happier than when I won, my little Haleigh has just been announced Homecoming queen and I couldn't feel happier! Thanks to every single one of you! You guys made this happen and we are all part of something huge. I can't fully express how grateful I am. I am in completely shocked that this happen."

This is a story of hope, and I hope that every LGBT student around the world hears it, and realizes that it can get better, it does get better. I like that we see a new openness in at least one high school, and can show other LGBT students that there is a place for them, where they can be themselves and succeed, without bullying, without taunts, without fear.

One day, I hope, gay students can be Homecoming King and Queen at every high school, and it won't make the news, and it won't be Tweeted or be a status update.

It'll just be.

And That seems to be the case, because, more and more often, these stories are no longer “news.”

They just are …

Lance Sanderson Wanted To Dance With A Boy And Was Suspended Instead

Yesterday we talked Charlie Baca, a trans male at Irondale High School, who became Homecoming King — see post HERE; and here I thought, ‘Well, this is a step forward.’

Cue the step back … Lance Sanderson is gay; and he attends Christian Brothers High School, an all-boys Catholic school in Memphis, Tennessee. He had hoped to attend the homecoming dance, and even had a date picked out — a boy from another school — but when he asked for permission he was denied because, well, gay and Catholic don’t mix.

Administrators cited a school policy which states that students “may attend the dance by themselves, with other CBHS students or with a girl from another school” but boys from other schools may not attend “for logistical reasons.” Lance says he didn’t know about the archaic rule and was given a different excuse when, last spring, he asked about bringing his date.

“[The official] said the school doesn't discriminate, and I could bring whoever I want.”

Sadly, that official left the school over the summer and now, apparently, there are rules and excuses, and wild excuses:

“I was given several examples of statistics like they said gay couples have higher divorce rates, and that they're violent; just different things that didn't make sense, and I’ve come to find aren't true. They said specifically as a Catholic school, they couldn't support that … and that they struggled with the idea of me taking a guy to homecoming or prom.”

The school stands by the policy, and insists that homophobia is not tolerated:

“Over the years, we have met with gay graduates who have asked about the school and we have assured them it is a kinder and gentler school and that this generation of students is very welcoming of students from all backgrounds. They are not homophobic and we are proud of their brotherhood.”

That kinda smacks of, and I'll paraphrase, Some of our best students are gay. 

The school also says that they have “never let boys from other schools attend these dances as the mixing of boys from other schools in such an open atmosphere can cause problems.”

Lance has a problem with that logic, and started an online petition urging the school to join the rest of us in the 21st century. And he makes it clear that it’s been tough for him at the school since coming out as a freshman.

“It's been a tough four years for me [at the school] … and I've experienced a lot of homophobia, but now it's not classmates causing the issue -- its administrators. School officials who should be looking out for students like me, not targeting us with discrimination.” 

Now, before anyone gets their panties in a bunch, I know this is a Catholic school, and I know how the Catholics feel about The Gays, and I know we shouldn’t be surprised by the school’s refusal to let Lance bring a date.

School officials refused to change their stand and so Lance Sanderson didn’t attend the homecoming dance this year, but the story doesn’t end there because now the school has chosen to punish Lance Sanderson.

After the story went viral, and after his online petition garnered nearly 10,000 signatures, Lance Sanderson returned to school and was promptly sent home, with the school saying they did not “appreciate the unwanted publicity” the story had generated and were receiving insults as a result.

Wow, it must be hard to be insulted; kinda like the way the school insulted Lance Sanderson, no?

“I am disappointed that I am unable to sit in class today. While many assignments can be reached online, I was going to take two tests today and an in class timed essay. Tomorrow at CBHS, I was going to meet with admissions representatives from around the country (they do not visit often). I hope to be welcomed back into a classroom setting soon.”

Why the punishment? Lance Sanderson didn’t do anything wrong. He asked to bring a date to a dance and was denied; he created a petition hoping the school might change its mind, and they did not. He didn’t attend the dance.

It should have been over except the school decided that since they were made to look like homophobic tools that Lance Sanderson deserved to be punished. And so he wrote the school a letter — and has yet received no response:

Dear CBHS Administration,

Today I arrived at school around 6:30am. I sat down to complete my assignments for the classes I planned on attending today. At 7:30am, I was speaking to a teacher when an administrator walked into the room and told me to gather my books and come to the office.

When I arrived at the office I was told that the administration “had 890 other students to worry about” and could not deal with me. I was told to go home for the week. I said goodbye to a few teachers and students, then drove home.

I am hurt by this exclusion. It goes against the Lasallian value of brotherhood that the school is supposed to stand for. You won’t let me dance with my date and you won’t let me go to class now either. I had hoped that today would be one for positive conversation going forward. Instead, I was sent home.

I haven’t done anything wrong and haven’t hurt anybody. I want to be welcomed back to the school building today and I want this mean-spirited semi-suspension ended, so that I can do my classwork like anybody else.

As Martin Luther King, Jr. once wrote from a Birmingham jail cell: “Let us all hope that the dark clouds of prejudice will soon pass away and the deep fog of misunderstanding will be lifted from our fear drenched communities, and in some not too distant tomorrow the radiant stars of love and brotherhood will shine over our great nation with all their scintillating beauty.

Sincerely,

Lance Sanderson

As I said, I get it that it’s a Catholic school, and so, while I find it ridiculous that Lance couldn’t bring a boy to the dance, I understand it. But I don’t understand how that simple act, asking to bring a date, results in being suspended from school.

Rather than preparing these boys for the real world, Christian Brothers High School is preparing them for a world that hasn’t changed from the 1950s; a world where being gay means you’re less than; a world where someone like Lance Sanderson can’t dance.

Hopefully, kids like Lance, and his allies, will leave this school vowing to make a change so that there aren’t any more stories like this.

NewNowNext

Random Musings

I loved, well, love, cuz I still do, Joan Rivers, and Carlos and I would watch The Fashion Police just for her. After her death, when the show came back with Kathy Griffin for about a half-second, it was so not funny, so not the same, and we gave up.

Now the show is back again, and, well, because I like to give things a second, hell, a third, chance, I watched it and I’m here to say that if they continue to keep Margaret Cho on as a critic comic commentator, I’ll be watching.

A Cho-ism: “I don’t get all the gray balls on that dress. The last time I saw that many gray balls I was teabagging Ted Danson and Dick Cheney.”

Gold. Pure Gold, and Joan is probably loving it.

The Kim Davis Is Free rally last Tuesday was notable for thing and one thing only: the Huckabee camp literally blocking Ted Cruz from getting near Davis so that the only pictures released were of Certifiable Loon™ Mike Huckabee at her side.

The last time I saw such blatant shoving in an attempt to make sure you were the star of the event was back in 83, at the 25th Motown Anniversary show when, according to Mary Wilson and witnesses, Diana Ross ALLEGEDLY pushed her former singing partner onstage.

Anthony Fasano is a football player. I know, because I Googled him; and he’s kinda hot, you know, in that brutish He-Man sort of way, but what I found most compelling is the view from the rear of Fasano that I saw at BosGuy the other day.

Had I known that this was football, I might have been watching it.

Just sayin’.

[Fasano photo]

Landon Patterson is a typical high school senior in the Kansas City, Missouri area. She’s in the choir, in student government and the leadership program; she works part-time at a beauty supply store, is a volleyball player and a school cheerleader. This week she was nominated to be homecoming queen at Oak Park High School.

She is also transgender.

Fabulous! The times they are a’changing.

[Outsports]

The other night I watched Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live with Andy Cohen because the powerful Martha Stewart was a guest. Martha used to be so uptight and so full of herself and her role as lifestyle guru, but, since prison, she’s been able to laugh at herself more … like last night when she read a list of ingredients after taking several hits of helium. Funny stuff, Martha on Helium.

But this isn’t about that, it’s about the Guest bartender on the show, one DJ Ruckus.

Man Oh Man Candy. I don’t know who he is, but that man has one delicious smile.

[1.2.3]

Apple unveiled a new TV this week that you can talk to; you simply ask it to search for a program ort an actor and it will do it. I thought it was a good idea, you know, being too lazy to manually search for anything, until Carlos said:

“I’d ask it: ‘Search for Project Runway,’ and it would respond, ‘Did you say National Geographic?’”

His accent isn’t that bad, but I can foresee all kinds of problems with Carlos talking to the TV.

Now, onto [t]Rump.

This week it was revealed that in his upcoming biography — of which he had total control, of course — he actually says that being in military school was similar to serving in the military.

Yeah, like how when my Dad was sent to Vietnam back in the day is just like spoiled brat Baby Boy [t]Rump taking a math test at school.

What an ass.

Blake Brockington is King

Blake Brockington is a 17-year-old senior at East Mecklenburg High School in Charlotte, North Carolina and was recently nominated by his fellow students to run for homecoming king. The winner was determined by whoever raised the most money for an international charity.

All well and good, you know, no big deal, except that Blake Brockington is transgender. And he says winning the title of Homecoming King would raise awareness and provide an example for other transgender youth.

“I honestly feel like this is something I have to do.”

Brockington says winning will mean the most for several younger transgender students he mentors, including a nine-year-old boy.

“He really looks up to me. That’s my heart. He has support now and he will be able to avoid just about everything I’m going through and I don’t want him to ever have to be scared. I feel like if I do this, that’s one red flag for everybody to say, ‘Nobody should be scared to be themselves and everybody should have an equal opportunity to have an enjoyable high school experience.’”

That’s not the experience Brockington had; he came out as transgender at the end of his sophomore year and while his mother was receptive, his father rejected the notion. At school, it was more of the same, with Blake being taunted and bullied, mostly by the boys, and facing a group of teachers and administrators, and even guidance counselors, who suffered from their own of understanding and education in the matter.

“It was pretty black and white; there was no gray area. It was either they were really supportive or really not supportive, and it’s still like that. … I’ve had a hard time with counselors. They’re like, ‘You’re not a boy. This isn’t your name. We’re not going to call you that.’”

Blake says he’s known he was transgender since he was a child, but he never knew what it was called; still, he has always identified as male, and he remembers an especially heated argument with his mother when she told him he was a girl at six years old. It took several more years before Blake learned there was a name for what he was feeling, for what he was, and for a way for him to express it.

“It was winter break my sophomore year and I was on Tumblr. I found out what transgender was and said, ‘Okay, that sounds like me.’”

Shortly after that he came out to his friends and family, and even attended the Queer Youth Prom held by Time Out Youth Center, a Charlotte LGBT youth support and services organization. He realized he didn’t need to feel ashamed or afraid; he no longer had a need to hide.

Still, that doesn’t make his transition from female to male any easier. That first year was rough, and even changed his family dynamic; Blake now lives in foster care, but says life at school and elsewhere has gotten better. He’s a good student and an even better athlete, playing rugby for a student club at the school and hoping to play for the Charlotte Royals, a local, LGBT-inclusive rugby team when he turns eighteen.

And he’s found a strong support group in some of his teachers, his foster parents, and doctors and therapists who have made all the difference. Next fall, he’ll attend the University of North Carolina-Charlotte where he intends to study mathematics with a minor in music and education but for now it’s all about being King. Blake set out to raise the most money for the charity, Mothering Across Continents, an international non-profit looking to build a school in South Sudan, in the hopes of not just being on the Homecoming Court, but of being King.

And he did it.

Last Friday Blake Brockington became the first transgender teen crowned Homecoming King in North Carolina with an announcement made during a halftime ceremony at the school gym.

"Throughout my life I haven't always been treated equally as a male, so I've always wanted this and everybody has told me I couldn't do it. ‘You are a girl,' even though I've always identified myself as a male."

Blake’s foster parent, Donald Smith, said he was proud of Blake’s perseverance to overcome the challenges he faces: "He really is hoping that it helps those behind him going through the same challenges and struggles."

And one of Blake’s teachers, Bill Allen, the student advisor for the school’s Gay-Straight Alliance, says East Mecklenburg is known as a school of diversity and hopes that Blake’s achievement is the first step in representing what many of the students believe: "Our young people understand we are all different. We have all races, genders and religious backgrounds. We have kids representing 30-40 languages in this school and people learn to accept each other as they are, and I think this is an example of what is going to be happening in North Carolina."

Blake, for his part, wants to keep it kind of simple, with a simple message to inspire students to never give up on their dream:

"They can be themselves regardless of what anybody else says. Even though you go through some things and have some negative encounters in your life, anything is possible. You can do anything you set your heart to."

Bravo.

Transgender student nominated for homecoming king

East Meck crowns transgender homecoming king

Random Musings

Project Runway: All-St★rs starts tomorrow night, so let’s take a look at who’s come crawling back:

• Jeffrey Sebelia: He won in Season 3 so why does he get a second shot? I thought the All-St★rs would be folks who didn't win. Since his win Sebelia — who calls himself the “God of Chaos” — has launched a successful high-end kids' line called La Miniatura. Why.Is.He.Here?
• Mychael Knight: He was also in Season 3 — placing fourth — and was voted Fan Favorite. I always liked his designs, so I’m looking forward to seeing him come back. Knight has created several lines, like Mychael Knight, Kitty & Dick—female and male lingerie, and MajK, a unisex fragrance. He has also designed for the likes of Jennifer Hudson, Kelly Rowland and Queen Latifah.
• Korto Momolu: The Season 5 runner-up, Korto was quite the crier and the first of the “I need this because fashion is my life’ speechifiers. But I loved her style—colorful and African. She has her own line; an eco-friendly collection called Green Love, and has designed for everyone from Miss Universe 2011, Leila Lopes, the President of Liberia, Ellen Johnson Sirleaf, and for the Walton Family, who own Wal-Mart. M’kay.
• Irina Shabayeva: She won Season 6 — AKA The Season That Almost Destroyed The PR — in LA so, again, why is she back? She started a bridal line after "Runway" and has designed for Selena Gomez and Carrie Underwood, for her album cover "Blown Away."
• Seth Aaron Henderson: Why not dub this PR All-St★rs, The Winners return, because Seth Aaron won Season 7. His designs are inspired by music, specifically new wave, punk and 80s Goth, and feature organic fabrics and recyclable plastic bottles. Since winning the PR he’s done red carpet commentary for E! and served as a part of the fashion judging panel for past PR seasons.
• Ari South: Finally, a non-winner; South was Third in Season 8 and I don’t remember her at all. Until … Ari, a female, used to be Andy South. Now I remember! Oy! Ari feels that living her life as an openly transgendered person gives her ability to impact not only who she is as a designer but also others. Her first collection was picked up by Neiman Marcus in Hawaii and has been carried there ever since.
• Viktor Luna: He came in Third on Season 9, and while a bit of a diva, his clothes were beautiful and always finished. His collection is geared towards a woman who is empowered, elegant and edgy, um, like Ciara, Carly Rae Jepsen, Big Boi and Jesse Tyler Ferguson[?].
• Melissa Fleis: Finishing Third in Season Ten, the Goth Barbie designs for "independent, savvy girls who like to wear black". Since PR she’s been creating custom leather jackets and clutches, and one day hopes to create a lifestyle brand that includes interior design and furniture.
• Christopher Palu: Although he didn't win his season — he placed Fourth in Season 10 — Palu wants y’all to know that he has the most challenge wins of any All-St★rs EVER!!  He has training from the Fashion Institute of Technology and his speed gives him an advantage when it comes to designing. He’s also a bit of a whiny lil bitch, you know.
• Elena Slivnyak: Elena finished sixth in Season 10. When it comes to fashion, shoes and accessories are musts, and her icon is Lady Gaga, and though the PR was one of the most stressful things Elena claims she has done, she is prepared and ready to compete for the win. Uh huh; I sense a breakdown coming.
• Daniel Esquivel: Finishing Fourth in Season 11, Esquivel — of the wack-a-doo facial hair — is ready to show his more competitive side this time around. His styles root from upbeat happy music and are described as free, modern and sexy. Daniel mostly designs for elite clientele in Austin.

What do YOU think?

So, we likes some Revenge around our house on Sunday nights and we loved Season One when we learned that Nolan [Gabriel Mann] was a homosexual and had several G-rated sex scenes on the show. We were less than happy when, last season, suddenly Nolan was in love with a woman, though an ex-boyfriend was hanging around for a while until he just disappeared for no reason; well, maybe it was bad writing.

But, we’re excited this season now that Victoria’s bastard son, Patrick [Justin Hartley], showed up. He’s been circling Nolan for a while, and BAM! last episode Nolan ran into Patrick a second time and — wait for it — kissed him! Patrick tried to act surprised, and Nolan started to get embarrassed, until Patrick kissed him back!

I love the twist because, well, maybe Patrick isn’t gay but he’ll act the part to get info from Nolan.

At any rate, it was quite the steamy lip-lock.

You gotta love those Teabaggers, they’re nothing if not amusing. And, well, kinda dumb.

At a Tea Party Unity event this week, former Baptist pastor Rick Scarborough was joined by Americans for Truth about Homosexuality president Peter LaBarbera in a discussion about how to stop the growing tide of LGBT equality in the U.S.

Well, first off, they can’t, but let’s continue …

Their solution? They wish to file a class-action lawsuit against homosexuality just like when the attorney generals of 46 states filed a lawsuit against the big tobacco companies in 1998.

Yes, they want to sue Gay, er, Queer, um, Fag, or Homosexuality.

Like I said, Dumb, because who are they going to name as defendants in their case? The entire LGBT community?

Bring it, asshats.

And speaking of 'Baggers .... if you sincerely believe Obama is the ant-I-christ, or a Muslim, or Hitler, or a scoialist ..... LEARN TO SPELL!!!!!

Speaker of the House John Boehner on why, after he promised it wouldn't: "I got overrun, that’s what happened."

So, he admits it? He can’t even run his own party?

Vote.Him.Out.

And speaking of GOP asshats, let’s pause for a minute and reflect on New Jersey Governor Chris Christie’s week.

He doesn’t want gays to marry; he’s very much against it. And when the New Jersey Supreme Court told him to pound sand, he filed a lawsuit, an appeal. This week the courts told him to sit down and Christie dropped his appeal.

Now, the right0wingnuts of the GOP are all against him because he caved, and the liberal, LGBT-friendly folks are against him because he’s anti-equality.

I think Chris Christie should crawl into a donut and pull the hole in after him.

Over there on Bravo this week they held a Ten year reunion of the old Queer Eye For The Straight Guy crew.

It was fun, and very gay — thanks Carson — and as I watched, I remember the hair dude from the show, Kyan Douglas. He was always kinda cute, with that early 2000’s hair, but now, at 43, he is quite the hottie.

Pia Z’adorable.

I’ve talked a lot about Jake Stallman here on this blog and now I have more good news—you can read my previous post HERE.

Jake came out as gay in the seventh grade and was instantly the target of bullies and haters. But Jake wasn’t having it, and stood up for himself, and demanded that the bullying stop.

And just last week Jake Stallman received the Spirit of Matthew award from the Matthew Shepard Foundation for overcoming bullying and starting an anti-bullying coalition in his high school. Even his mother, Tania, stood up to the bullies, and those who think boys will be boys, and started a Facebook page for anti-bullying.

“I decided to start an anti-bullying campaign on Facebook. When I started it more people were coming forward, letting him know that they had the same concerns you know, with being bullied in the school district, elementary, middle and high school.”—Tania Stallman

After Jake and his mother turned to the Matthew Shepard foundation, they invited him to blog for the foundation, in turn becoming a symbol and ally for other gay students in his school and his town. With his newfound confidence, Jake became the first male cheerleader in his high school’s history. 

”I feel like I became a warrior, a fighter. And I think I became a fighter because there are kids out there who are struggling right now. And if I’m not strong, who’s going to be strong for them?”—Jake Stallman

That’s what we need, more Jake Stallman’s, and more allies like Jake’s mom.

Congratulations, Jake, your strength is enormous!

It's Homecoming season in Texas, and down there in Eagle Pass the royal court made hometown history by electing a homecoming queen... and a homecoming queen.

In.Texas!

Jennifer Mijares and Eileen Hernandez are not a couple, but they are allies, and members of the C.C. Winn High School's Gay Straight Alliance [GSA]. They ran for Homecoming Court to promote equality.

And they won. And while their campaign to be Homecoming Queens stirred some controversy, it also sparked a conversation.

"One negative comment changed it to ten positive comments."—Jennifer Mijares

"If one person would try bringing us down, so many others would say no, keep your head up. What you're doing is awesome."—Eileen Hernandez

Congrats, Jennifer & Eileen. You might have shocked some folks — especially in Texas — but you’ve done a good thing for the Gay Straight Alliances everywhere.

Some people are so lucky. And some get puked on.

See, Hottie McHot, AKA Ryan Reynolds, was on an airplane recently when a fellow passenger vomited. On.Him. So, Ryan did the only thing he could do, he removed his shirt and finished the flight nekkid from the waist up.

Like I said, some are lucky … like those people, who got to watch shirtless Ryan Reynolds in captivity.

Last week Carlos and I were raking leaves, blowing leaves, mowing leaves. I used a leaf blower to blow some leaves onto the lawn and then Carlos would mow the lawn, and that would mulch the leaves — which could then be used around plants and such for winter.

But, I noticed that as I blew the leaves, and after Carlos mulched, he would empty the mower bags under the trees where I was blowing leaves. 

Meaning I would blow the leaves, he’d mulch and put them under the trees so I could blow them again and he could mulch again.

Oy. We really need a gardener on staff here at Casa Bob y Carlos before I blow and mulch Carlos.

On second thought …