Bobservations

I’ve told y’all before about the woman from the Catholic Church who sometimes gives Carlos rides to interpretations if I’m working. Well, he and this woman, who I have dubbed his CarWife, have also started going for walks every so often when I’m at work and recently, another woman from the church has joined them. So, Tuesday morning over breakfast they began texting Carlos about walking on Wednesday or Thursday and he responded that he was open to it and then … these two women began texting so furiously in a text chain to one another and to Carlos that I thought I was sitting at a slot machine in Vegas during a huge payout!!

I’m glad he’s got some friends and gets out of the house while I’m working—most of his translations lately have been via phone or Zoom—but they need to simplify their texts!

Here’s a Tale of Tuxedo from January 2010 entitled, Thank You Nora!

One of my oldest, dearest friends, Nora, has a dog named Cotton that she loves like it was, well, anything but a dog. I get pictures of the dog, cards from the dog, calendars of the dog. You'd think it was a cat. Anyway, this year, for my birthday—and before you ask I am somewhere between forty and death—my old old OLD friend Nora sent me a stuffed toy dog that looks ::::gulp:::: just like her dog Cotton. 

Along with a picture of Cotton wishing me Happy Birthday.

So, naturally, I had to show her what a gorgeous animal like Tuxedo: The Most Beautiful Cat EVER!!! with a Thank You "card" looks like.

Thanks Nora, the cats love their new playtoy!!!

I have been having the best time with Hunter Biden on social media taking on the haters like he has zero fucks to give/ So here are a few things he’s posted of late, and responses to some people who have come for him or his family.

After a guy named Aaron Jones Tweeted that Hunter’s “whole family is a disgrace” Hunter replied:

“I see your profile picture. That’s Johnny Cash. My hero too. Arrested seven times. Smuggled 668 amphetamines across the Mexican border in 1965. Took every drug there was and drank like I did. Cheated on his first wife. Slept with more women than I ever did. Hit bottom in a cave in Tennessee in 1968 trying to crawl off and die. He spent the rest of his life singing for prisoners and addicts and the people the country threw away because he knew he was one of them.

That was the howl point of the Man in Black. He wore it for the poor and the beaten down. He wore it for the prisoner who has long paid for his crime. He wore it for the ones who never heard of Jesus. He wore it for the addicted and the dying. He wore it as a standing witness that no one is past saving.

You picked his picture. You did not pick the message. Try listening to the words.”

Then a guy named Stefan Smith took on Hunter’s parents, claiming they were broker because no big offers came after Joe left the White House so they had to write books to settle scores, and Hunter replied:

“You caught them. Mom and Dad were going to sell bibles and cell phones, golden sneakers and NFTs, Chinese watches and cologne but wouldn’t you know someone beat them to the punch. They were left with only one choice: write two books like every former First Lady and President has done in modern history.”

And just to make it clear, Hunter posted this:

“So let me get this straight.

Jake Tapper is focused on attacking my Mom.

Jared and Ivanka are building a privte island paradise on Albanian protected land.

Don Jr married the daughter of Epstein’s banker, and a startup his fund backs just got a record $620M Pentagon loan.

Eric is taking an Israeli drone company public for $1.5B in the middle of a war with Iran that nobody wanted.

And I know: “What about the paintings Hunter?”

Please.”

And then he posted this:

“Things most Americans agree on:

Groceries cost too much.

Tariffs suck and make no sense.

Congress and Presidents shouldn't trade stocks.

The debt is a mess.

The border should be secure, but legal immigration is good.

Endless wars are stupid, especially ones that nobody wants and have never been explained.

Americans are exhausted.

Al is like my new best friend that also might be trying to take my job, my ability to think for myself, and my humanity in the process. Yo like love you, but WTF, but l still love you.

Diversity is actually awesome! The opposite is boring AF.

Canadians are super fucking cool.

Mexicans are chill.

Putin isn't a good guy looking out for America's best interest.

Rocky IV and Miracle are great movies.

Good neighbors are a blessing.

Freedom of religion and coexistence without having to blow each other up is probably a good idea.

We all question, are we alone in the universe?

We all fuck up along the way.

Epstein didn't hang himself.

The Trumps and Epstein were best friends for decades. It's like Bert trying to tell us Ernie was just an acquaintance in the same social scene on Sesame Street back in the day.

The Cowboys suck. Go Birds!

Things we're told to fight about:

Me.

Laptop.

Vaccines.

Transgenders in sports.

Pronouns.

That's the joke.

-Hunter Biden”

Hunter is the weapon the Democrats need to learn from as they take on the criminal in the White House and the criminals in the GOP.

And since we mentioned Jared and Ivanka’s “private island,” here’s an update I read on Bluesky:

“Albania has frozen the assets of the Trump/Kushner/Qatari project now under a corruption investigation by Albanias SPAK (Struktura e Posaçme Kundër Korrupsionit dhe Krimit të Organizuar) Albania’s independent anti-corruption and organized crime prosecution office.

Poor Ivanka was working so hard on a color pallet and Pinterest Page “Island Submarine Base, Coachella, Fashion Week, Supervillain Lair,” all that work on hold. Looks like she’ll have to go back to doing Marie Antoinette cosplay and posting selfies of her living her best life. Jared has no doubt returned to his basement to pull the wings off butterflies.”

Snap.

And speaking of pigs, Georgia Superior Court Judge William McClain sentenced Jose Torres and Kayla Norton to 20 years and 15 years in prison for shouting racial slurs and threatening black adults and children at a child's birthday party in 2015.

Torres and Norton were members of a group of Confederate flag supporters, many of whom belonged to the group known as Respect the Flag. For two days, this group of bigots drove around in pickups waving Confederate flags and shouting slurs at black families in counties outside Atlanta.

In Douglasville, these morons yelled racial slurs at the birthday party's attendees as they drove by; Torres threatened to kill the people at the party with a shotgun Norton had loaded and retrieved from his truck.

The couple faces probation after serving their prison time and are both banished from Douglas County.

Both Torres and Norton broke down in tears at their sentencing.

Sorry, not sorry. Enjoy prison and I hope you serve all of your time.

Now I need some Matheus Riehl to cleanse my palate … Matheus is a professional Brazilian male model, smolderingly hot and so, Would You Hit It?

Why Is It ...

… that people don’t understand that I am taking part in The May Challenge and so I may give a fuck, or I may not.

… that I had a thirty minute conversation with a co-worker about her weekend and when she finished, I said I was billing her for time wasted.

… that when I went to the doctor with a suspicious looking mole, he said, “They all look that way so you should put him back in the garden.”

… that when my boss said to me, “This is the third time this week we’ve had complaints about your attitude, so you know what that means?” and I said, “It’s Wednesday?”

… that when Carlos made my coffee this morning he handed me the cup and then winked at me; I’ve never been more afraid of a drink in my life!

… that people who say they don’t have time for my bullshit need to wake up earlier.

… that while I was getting gas this morning I noticed the girl on Pump #3 was getting $10. Where the hell was she going, Pump #4?

… that my Serenity Prayer goes like this: God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change; the courage to change direction when I see them coming; and the wisdom not to try to smack some sense into them when I can’t avoid them.

… that the coworker who called me a psychopath doesn’t realize that at least I’m on a path while she is still trying to sort out her life. Right, Melissa?

… that I used to party in fields with people I didn’t know but these days too may people in Aisle 5 is a hard no?

Meme Dump

Why Is It ...

… that people don’t realize that a fuck must be earned; I cannot go down the street with a bucket of fucks handing them out willy nilly. If I feel you’ve earned a fuck, I’ll give a fuck.

… that I hate it when I say that I hate people and someone says, “But not me, right? LOL.” No bitch, it’s especially you.

… that I can look directly at a person, nod when they’re talking and throw in a “Yeah,” or an “I know,” and yet not hear a word they’re saying

… that I feel the need to tell people that I am not toxic; I am classier than that … I am toxique….

… that I often feel the need to tell people who are speaking to me that I Googled “Who gives a shit?” and my name wasn’t in the search results

… that I know five people that are clinically insane and two of them are me.

… that I feel like life is a helicopter and I don’t know how to fly a helicopter.

… that my signature move is to bottle up my feelings over time and then combust over some small issue and get accused of being a psycho.

… that I hate it when people to tell me to open up. I mean, I just met you like eight years ago, give me some time.

… that right after I say some things I remind myself that some things aren't better left unsaid.

Why Is It ...

… that my friends need to know if I don’t answer the phone, do not re-call me because I will re-not answer.

… that I’m at that age where my mind believes I’m 29, while my humor suggests I’m 12, and my body possibly died during the Civil War?

… that no one understands that giving a fuck doesn’t go with my outfit?

… that when I pass away I need all my friends to sleep at the graveyard because y’all can’t leave me alone all night with people I don’t know.

… that I have a “Why am I like this” moment at least six times a day?

… that every time I have a work dream I wake up in the morning and call out because I’m not working twice in the same day.