Christmas Meme Dump

Bobservations

This morning we watched GMA while eating breakfast and they aired an ad for the CMA Awards tonight, calling it the biggest event in country music, and I said to Carlos:

“They call every country music awards show ‘the biggest event in country music’.”

And he replied:

“It’s all barbeque and square dancing and shirts with embroidered flowers and tight jeans and big belt buckles and trucks with giant tires.”

I didn’t know he knew so much about country music …

This Tuxedo Says is from Locked Down May 2020:

“Leave it to The Great Tuxedo—Carlos hates that I call him that—to put things into a Gay Perspective ….”

In big news, Casa Bob y Carlos is officially paid off. Yes, we paid off our mortgage last week and now completely own the homestead.

Maybe we should move?

Something for y'all to ponder: if Santa really knows when we have been naughty or nice, then he knew that Rudolph was being bullied and he did nothing about it.

Villa Vie Residences, a residential cruising line, launched its “Tour La Vie” offering travelers a customized journey for up to four years, to “skip forward,” and avoid The Felon’s second term. It’s just $40,000 per year— food, drinks, Wi-Fi, and housekeeping are included—and you will visit 425 ports across 140 countries.

Any takers?

Yesterday, Susan Smith  who was convicted of murdering her two sons, three-year-old Michael and 14-month-old Alexander, in 1994 by strapping them into their car seats, and rolling her car into John D. Long Lake right here in South Carolina, was denied parole after serving nearly thirty years in prison.

At the time Smith claimed that a Black man had kidnapped her sons during a carjacking.

I do not believe in the Death Penalty ever, but I do think Susan Smith should never be allowed to walk free again.

Someone Tweeted this out in the wake of the election:

"Matt Gaetz, Tulsi Gabbard and Marco Rubio are in a rowboat that’s sinking in the middle of a lake. You can only save one of them — who would you choose?"

Henry Winkler, The Fonz in the '80s sitcom Happy Days, gave the best answer:

"The boat."

Snap.

Warren Zeiders is an American country music singer and songwriter ... I sense a mini-theme today ... but this is really: Would You Hit It?

Programming note: I have axed myself from the X as it has grown more and more hate- and lie-filled, and I have moved myself over to Bluesky.

Bobservations

I was posting this edition of Bobservations and I had no funny story about Carlos this week, so I thought I’d share a short video of him playing his trumpet to open the South Carolina World Aids Day event in Columbia earlier this month:

That’s my husband, but …

I told him I was posting the video and he’d forgotten I posted  it to Facebook weeks ago, so today he decides to search Facebook and asks me what my page is called:

“What my page is called?”

“Yes. Because I keep getting your dad’s page.”

“My page is my name.”

“It keeps taken me to your dad’s page.”

“Robert?”

“Yes.”

“That’s not my name.”

“Well, what name is your Facebook page under?”

Yes, my husband asked me my name.

He.Asked.My.Name. Oy.

This Tuxedo Memory is from May 2013

"Notes From Smallville ... From Fun to Frivolous to Factual

I have said before that Tuxedo is the Most Handsome Cat ever, and, well, to brag some more he is also incredibly smart. And understands English.

See, when it’s dinner time, no matter where he is in the house, I can shout, ‘Tucky, are you hungry?’ And he races into the kitchen for his meal.

Sure, you say, but he’s a cat and he’s hungry.

But then, explain this: when I am ready to go to bed, I say, ‘Tucky, are you ready for sleeps?’ and her runs down the hallway to the bedroom.

I know.

And then this: our cats do not go outside. We have no way to contain them in our yard because we have an on-the-short-side split rail fence that they can jump. Plus, there are all kinds of other animals and diseases that they could catch being outside. So, inside they stay. But, Tuxedo, being the King Cat of the house, is allowed to go outside with supervision, meaning I carry him around the yard and he sniffs the trees and the flowers and bird watches.

So, Sunday afternoon, after working in the yard, I came inside, and yelled, ‘Tucky? Wanna go outside?’ and he came meowing down the hallway and ran right to the sliding doors of the sunroom, ready to tour the yard."

Smartest Cat ever; and, of course, the most handsome, too.

Fox and Friends host Griff Jenkins ripped President Biden a new one for going to St. Croix for vacation though he clearly had zero issue with Inmate # P01135809 golfing every weekend while millions of Americans died of COVID.

PS Griff Jenkins was substituting for regular Fox & Friends hosts … who were on vacation.

I went to the grocery store today and the cashier said my total was $208.47. I wanted a second opinion so I went to self-checkout and my new total was $43.20.

This Congress began its term with a bitter 15-round spectacle to elect a House speaker, a Republican who vowed to “never quit,” and then did just that. Then GOP House lawmakers punished one of their own colleagues with censures and expulsion, launched an impeachment inquiry into President Joe Biden and were barely able to keep federal offices from shuttering. And with just 27 bills and resolutions signed into law this is the most do-nothing session of Congress in recent times.

On the flip side, when Democrats are in Control things get done. CAST A GODDAMNED BLUE VOTE!

I could be wrong, but I saw somewhere that this will be Santa’s new outfit from now on. Now, that’s a lap I could sit on.

The Francis Howell School Board, a conservative-led Missouri school board, has voted to drop elective courses on Black history and literature, five months after the same board rescinded an anti-discrimination policy adopted in the aftermath of the killing of George Floyd.

Black Lives Matter. Black History Matters.

In Ohio, a grand jury is set to decide whether Brittany Watts, who miscarried a nonviable fetus should face criminal charges.

Yes, criminal charges for a miscarriage. Watts was reportedly turned into the police after her miscarriage and has been charged with the fifth-degree felony of “abuse of a corpse.”

Wake up, people, this is the GOP at work, jailing women for miscarriages.

Jarryd Nurden is a singer, actor, dancer, model, life coach, equestrian and fitness model, and this week’s entrant in the Would You Hit It club.

The Christmas Funny Papers

Steve Breen, Clay Bennett, Bob Englehart, Gary Huck, Ed Hall, Christopher Weyant, Gary Varvel, Chip Bok, Michael de Adder, Nick Anderson, Trevor Irvin, Marshal Ramsey

Megyn Kelly Is A Tool

I’m’a ask y’all sit down right now because I gotta tell you something that might cause a panic in your hearts and minds.

Everyone settled? Okay … I don’t watch FoxNews.

Wow. That was hard to say, er, type, because I know some folks live and die by their FoxNews — I’m lookin’ at you Mama Grizzly Bore™.

But every once in a while I hear about FoxNews because one of their “commentators” — who are basically Bobble-headed Barbies, former politicians who couldn’t get themselves reelected to anything, and big men bullies — really goes off the rails and then tries, and naturally fails, to rein it back in.

See what I did there? This is a post about Christmas and I said rein, like in reindeer, like in Santa —

Okay I’ll stop.

But this whole mess all began with this, from FoxNews Bobble-head Barbie, Megyn Kelly, who said:

"By the way, for all you kids watching at home, Santa is white but this person is just arguing that maybe we should also have a black Santa. Santa is what he is and just so you know, we are debating this because someone wrote about it, kids. Just because it makes you feel uncomfortable doesn't mean it has to change. Jesus was a white man, too. He was a historical figure. That's a verifiable fact -- as is Santa. I just want the kids watching to know that."

So, this Santa Claus, who sneaks through our houses unseen once a year to drop off bushels of goodies, is white. Megyn Kelly must be the only person who’s ever seen him before. But then she tosses Jesus into the mix and says it’s an historical fact that Jesus is also white—perhaps because artists, notably white artists, have always depicted him as such.

But here’s the rub, Megyn, you dimwitted talking head.

Jesus is from the Middle East, and as far as anyone can tell, white people are not from their historically. Most Middle Easterners are brown, and they have been brown, until people began migrating in and out of every region and different races and ethnicities began having children together. So, Jesus would actually be brown.

Even Jon Stewart schooled Megyn Kelly on both the history and the geography, reminding her that the pigmentation of folks where Jesus and St. Nicholas are from, is actually dark skinned, not white. Naturally, Stewart did the schooling in his usual snarky comedic way.

But then Don Lemon got into the mix, after laughing about Megyn Kelly’s asshatitude, took her on and schooled her without the humor.

And now, naturally, after so many people have schooled Megyn Kelly and FoxNews on their dual idiocy and not-so-blatant racism about Santa and Jesus, Kelly had decided to backtrack.

She now says she “was only joking” and could not believe the uproar it causes, but even Megyn Kelly knows, or must know, because I assume she’s had even the most cursory of educations, that when you say stupid, asshatted things, people listen.

Megyn Kelly. For you, Santa is white. Good. For black kids, he’s black; Hispanic kids have a Hispanic Santa.

But let’s get back to Jesus and make this simple for even Megyn Kelly to understand; he was a Middle Eastern man. And brown. All Megyn Kelly was trying to do was rile up the Christians, and add fuel to the fire of the FoxNews Annual War On Christmas spiel, but what she ended up doing was making was coming off as stupid and racist and illogical and wrong and dumb.

Like the whole news channel. 

We Need A Christmas Miracle

John Toomey has been playing department store Santa at Macy's in San Francisco for over twenty years, and he is quite the popular one. But now, just before Christmas, Toomey has been fired after a couple complained that a joke he told them was inappropriate.

What's this? He's joking with kids and not just listening to them?

No, he was told that his Kris Kringle services would no longer be needed because of the objections from an older woman and her husband who visited him.

John Toomey: "When I ask the older people who sit on my lap if they've been good and they say, 'Yes,' I say, 'Gee, that's too bad.' Then, if they ask why Santa is so jolly, I joke that it's because I know where all the naughty boys and girls live." 

Toomey said it was the first time anyone complained about the joke, but first time's the charm, and he was given the big black Santa Claus boot. Toomey also made it clear that he never uses the joke with children.

f course, a Macy's spokeswoman had no comment about the firing because it's a personnel matter, but word is that many store employees were distraught that Toomey was let go.

Toomey, meanwhile, hopes to get work at parties and other stores: "I've got my Social Security and some savings, so I'll be OK. But I sure do miss being Santa."

And he'd still be Santa if a couple of Grinches hadn't decided to ruin Christmas.

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