Bobservations

I do love a good text exchange with Carlos since he uses Siri and she has quite a time with his accent. Once he ended a text with “Gracias” and Siri translated it to “Gracious.”

The other morning the text exchange went like this:

Carlos: “Craig is coming over to paint the shoe border or whatever you call it and then he’s going to install it.”

Bob: “Okay.”

Bob: “And it’s shoe molding.”

Carlos: “Well, mowed your shoes.”

Bob: :That makes no sense.”

Bob: “For the love of god man, can you speak English.”

I feel like Lucy trying to understand Ricky!

This Tale of Tuxedo is from March 2010 and is entitled Tell Me....................

..........am I a bad parent because I gave my cat a leopard pillow?

Let me get this queer … if you pull the peeled paint out of a reflecting pool, you get arrested but if you smash windows, savagely beat officers at the Capitol Building, and smear your feces on the walls you get a pardon and perhaps a payout.

Oh, and if you tear down a government building without a permit … 

I don’t eat fast food; I have but I haven’t in years. So imagine my surprise when one day last week I found myself in line at McDonalds for no apparent reason …

This is American Policing in Black and White

BLACK AND UNARMED

Amadou Diallo 23, standing in front of his building, MURDERED by police, 41 bullets

Sean Bell 23, leaving his bachelor party, MURDERED by police, 50 bullets

LaQuan McDonald 17, walking away, MURDERED by police, 16 bullets

Jayland Walker 25, traffic stop, MURDERED by police, 90 bullets

WHITE AND ARMED

Vance Boelter 57, murdered 2 people, ARRESTED, 0 bullets

Dylan Roof 21, murdered 9 people, ARRESTED, 0 bullets

James Holmes 24, murdered 12 people, ARRESTED, 0 bullets

Payton Gendron 18, murdered 10 people, ARRESTED, 0 bullets

Tell me again, how race has nothing to do with it

Apparently there are some people calling the DC Reflecting Pool the Straight of Warm Ooze.

James Burrows once said that if Will & Grace made just one young kid less homophobic, then his whole career would have meant something. He died last week at 85 and I dare say his career meant something.

He didn't just direct an episode of Will & Grace here and there, he directed every single episode, putting two openly gay characters into millions of American living rooms when network TV still treated that as a gamble. And it was a gamble. When NBC executives complained that the pilot had too much gay content, Burrows shot back:

"If not here, then where?"

The show stayed exactly as it was. 

RIP Mr. Burrows

Aaron Shandel hails from South Africa and was discovered while catching waves in his hometown of Cape Town and if you caught him, Would You Hit It?

It's Snarkurday!

So, Usher and herpes ... the story that keeps on giving like, well, Usher and herpes.

It all began with a lawsuit in 2012 that claimed Usher spread herpes to a partner by having unprotected sex with her without informing her of his status; that suit was settled for $1.1 million. Usher and his current wife say the claim was instigated by Usher’s first ex-wife, who used a friend to start the rumor ... except she has herpes and says Usher gave it to her ... and Usher has herpes. And now, three more people—two women, Jane Does, and a man, John Doe—are suing Usher for ALLEGEDLY doing the same thing to them.

Now, this is all interesting, but there is little to no talk of how John Doe contracted herpes; was it from sex with a former partner of Usher, or sex with Usher himself?

That’s the story I wanna hear ...

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I used to have such a crush on Tom Wopat from The Dukes of Hazzard; I never watched the show because ... stupid, but I did see him on talk shows and stuff and he seemed just delicious ... that's him down there, and that's him now, up top, less delicious. 

But, he’s also, ALLEGEDLY, a little handsy because he was just arrested for felony indecent assault, battery, and possession.

Wopat, starring in a production of 42nd Street in Massachusetts, ALLEGEDLY copped a feel of one of his female costars on the set during rehearsals. According to a police report, Wopat ALLEGEDLY walked behind the woman and put his hands on her ass; in fact, she says he grabbed her in such a way his fingers went between her butt cheeks. And when she reported him to heads of production, Wopat told them:

“Fuck them all.”

Huh; not the answer of an innocent man, and not the first time Wopat has been accused of assault. The police report contains another incident that ALLEGEDLY happened during rehearsals in which Tom grabbed another woman around the waist from behind and pulled her close to him, another time Tom ALLEGEDLY pulled sunburned skin off a woman’s arm.

Ick. Wopat was arrested after police tracked him down in his Ford Bronco; they also discovered a small baggie of coke and a small straw on him. He is set to plead not guilty to all charges, but ALLEGEDLY told police officers that he has “touched a woman’s hip” and is friendly and likes to flirt; he added that he never did anything not-right.

Fingers in the butt? That is the definition of “not right” when no one has asked for your fingers to go there. And peeling dead skin off a woman? Is she some kind of snake?

Ick.

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Continuing with the Ick Factor ... filming for Robert Pattinson’s new movie seemed a little icky ...and he’s done love scenes with that piece of driftwood known as Kristen Stewart.

This week, Pattinson was on Jimmy Kimmel Live to promote Good Time, and it doesn’t sound like it described the filming ... especially when the director tried to get him to, um, diddle a dog:"

"There’s a drug dealer who busts into the room and I was sleeping with the dog and basically giving the dog a hand job.”

So, wait, when a drug dealer comes after you, and you’re in bed, you should be prodding the pooch because ... ?

“I asked the trainer, ’cause the director was like, ‘Just do it for real, man! Don’t be a p—y!’ And then the dog’s owner was like, ‘Well, he’s a breeder, I mean, you can.’ He’s like, ‘You gotta massage the inside of his thighs.’”

Seriously I felt bad for Pattinson, but again I was reminded that he dated Kristen Stewart for a time, so maybe this wasn’t such a stretch?

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So, last week saw the fifth installment of that insta-craptastic Sharknado and there’s some juice there ... well, juice from 2015.

That year’s version—Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!—featured sharks attacking en masse by way of a cyclone and featured the character of the President of the United States; and when the film was in production it seemed as if one Donald J. _____ would play the part, until he waited so long to sign the dotted line that they gave the role to Mark Cuban and _____ pitched a hissy.

To be fair, the producers’ first choice was Sarah Palin, but negotiations with fell through—apparently she wanted to be paid in Twizzlers and Slurpees—and that’s when “Sharknado star” Ian Ziering suggested _____.

An offer went out and “The Donald said ‘Yes.’” A contract was drawn up and sent to a _____ lackey and then ... nothing. Until word came that _____ was thinking of running for the Real Fake President and it was decided this wouldn’t be a good idea and so the producers called Cuban and he showed up to work. And that’s when _____’s  lawyer instantly called and threatened to sue and shut down the production because their client is a big fat baby with a giant ego and wee hands.

Too bad, because I’m sure he would have been awful in the role—as awful as he is in the job in real life—and maybe we could’a dodged that bullet.

Damn you, Sharknado!

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On the Real Housewife front, New York “housewife” LuAnn De Lesseps—formerly Countess LuAnn—married one Tom D’Agostino eight months ago amidst rumors that he was cheating on her. Nothing could be further from the truth, LuAnn wailed; he’s my soul mare, she cried; we’ll be together forever, she wailed.

Well, their eight-month marriage is over. Big surprise, since their mini-marriage was chockfull of fights and shouting matches and one stomping off to the boudoir and the other stomping off to his mistress ... ALLEGEDLY.

A source—and you know it’s Ramona—says Tom grew tired of the “reality TV lifestyle” where he could cheat without cameras and LuAnn tired of not hanging around with her previous boyfriend, Jacques Azoulay, who may have dumped her because she cheated on him.

It’s all circular in the trash bin, people.

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Last week we talked British royalty and how the Queen loves to drink, but this week it’s all about petty Danish royalty.

In 1967, then-Princess Margarethe married Henrik de Laborde de Monpezat, a Frenchman, and in 1971, she became the queen of Denmark. As custom has it, Henry became her prince-consort and not the king. And that’s nothing new; Queen Elizabeth gave Prince Philip the title of HRH Duke of Edinburgh because he will never be king. Philip seemed fine with his title, but Prince Henrik has never been happy about his.

This week it was announced that Prince Henrik is so bitter and petty over not being called “king” that he has chosen not to be buried next to her when his time comes because he feels the title of “prince consort” is a lesser title and a form of gender discrimination:

“It makes me angry that I am subjected to discrimination. Denmark, which is otherwise known as an avid defender of gender equality, is apparently willing to consider husbands as worth less than their wives.”

Sheesh, after 45 years as a “prince consort” he’d be fine with the title, but I guess he wants the big crown or else his remains will lie next to anyone but his wife.

Seriously; first world problems. I say give him the title King of the Pissy Bitches and be done with it.

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Norman Lear is among the honorees of the upcoming Kennedy Center Honors, but he will not be attending the annual pre-ceremony reception at the White House because ... _____.

Lear says he won’t meet the president  because of the way his administration has treated the arts—including a call for eliminating the National Endowment for the Arts and its sister agency, the National Endowment for the Humanities:

“I think the arts are important for our humanity, and that includes this administration.”

While grateful for the recognition, Lear said he “just told them before they accepted my acceptance, ‘I will have to tell you how I feel’”:

“Feelings don’t go away, thoughts and opinions don’t vanish. I heard [about the honor] and they understood exactly how I felt.”

Good on Lear for taking that stand, though no word if fellow honorees Gloria Estefan, LL Cool J, Lionel Richie, and Carmen de Lavallade will follow suit.

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So the Will & Grace reboot; I’m all for it. And the fact that it isn’t a one-season deal; it’s already been renewed for a second rebooted season. But, it’s not all roses and gin ... one character will not be appearing in the new episodes ... Rosario!

Apparently, Shelley Morrison, who played Rosario, has retired from acting and wasn’t all that interested in making a return to W&G. Show creator Max Mutchnick says:

“We really wanted Shelley to be a part of this series, so we find ourselves having to figure that out moving forward. It was not an easy decision to make, but it’s one that she made.”

Well, come on now, maybe if you retitled the reboot, Will & Grace & Jack & Karen & Rosario she might have had a change of heart!

Better yet ... Rosarios & Others!

Just sayin’.

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Yesterday we learned the news that Tesla bigshot Elon Musk and the ex-missus Johnny Depp, Amber Heard are kaput after dating for just over a year. But it’s the way Elon confirmed the breakup that people talking; he did it the old-fashioned way, with an Instagram comment.

Heard posted a photo of herself sticking a fork into her red wig for her role as Mera in the upcoming “Aquaman” and comparing herself to Ariel in “The Little Mermaid.” Elon commented:

“Very cute.”

But then he went on ...

“Btw, just to clear up some of the press storm this weekend, although Amber and I did break up, we are still friends, remain close and love one another. Long distance relationships when both partners have intense work obligations are always difficult, but who knows what the future holds.”

Wow; this is how it’s done now? A billionaire couldn’t send a phalanx of minions to spread the word via press release?

Romance is dead ... I guess ... and Elon Musk killed it.

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Random Musings

This weekend is supposed to be very cold in Smallville, and there is a chance of snow.

Brrrrr but ... we’ll in Miami for a week so ... yeah, take that, snow storm ... even though, truth be told, I love a Smallville snow.

At any rate, we’re gone, and while I have some preplanned things for y’all for the next week, I won’t be back, blogging or commenting—I’m going off the grid, so to speak—until late next week.

Be nice, y’all, and #Resist!

Earlier this week I posted about gospel singer Kim Burrell’s hate-filled rant, masked a sermon of some sort—see post HERE.

Burrell was set to appear on Ellen this week to sing her song from the film, Hidden Figures, but Ellen isn’t having it, or Burrell:

“For those asking, Kim Burrell will not be appearing on my show.”

Thanks Ellen!

This is our New Year’s Day meal ... it’s said that one should eat Black-eyed peas on New Year’s Day because they bring luck, but I am never one to follow tradition, superstition except ...

I made a Black-eyed Pea soup, with Andouille Sausage and Kale, and then some homemade Sausage and Onion Cornbread.

It may not bring us luck but it filled our bellies!

Donald ____ took to Instagram—I guess his Twitter account was exhausted—to post a meme saying his “administration will follow two simple rules: Buy American and Hire American!"

And then, well, hypocrisy ... because Donald _____ just won approval to hire 64 foreign workers for his Mar-a-Lago property through the government’s H-2B visa program. And not only is _____ hiring foreign workers while telling y’all that his stance is “hire American” he is also paying those foreign workers less money than he’d pay American workers.

So, remember that; he is telling you what the country should do and then he does the exact opposite because it’s best for his bank account.

Oh, and let’s not forget that his clothing line, and that of his daughter, and possible First lady ... ick ... Ivanka, is still being manufactured outside this country although he says he’ll bring back jobs to America.

I cannot understand how those fools who voted for him can still be foolish enough to think that he’ll do what’s best for America when all he wants to do is what’s best for him and that family of his ... oh wait ... fools.

Could this be true? Is Will & Grace coming back to TV?

Leslie Jordan, who played Karen Walker’s frenemy Beverley Leslie—"Well well well, if it isn’t Karen Walker. I thought I smelled gin and regret"—seemingly confirmed last week that the show is returning to NBC for 10 episodes:

“It’s back. NBC has ordered it. They have ordered 10. It will be for next season, and they’ll add the guest cast. I will get a phone call ... I’m not a regular.”

Last September, the main cast sparked revival rumors after they appeared in a 10-minute episode encouraging viewers to vote. A month later, it was rumored that Eric McCormack, Debra Messing, Megan Mullally and Sean Hayes were all in talks to reprise their characters for an abbreviated season.

But maybe Beverly spoke to soon ... Debra Messing has walked back Leslie Jordan’s confirmation of a revival, Tweeting an answer to a fan’s tweet about the new seasons saying:

“Sadly Leslie was wrong. Nothing beyond talks.” 

Get it together ... I’d like some W&G again.

2017’s First Cat Fight .... "Morning Joe" host Joe Scarborough took to Twitter to blast a former CBS reporter for suggesting Joe “partied” with President-elect _____ on New Year's Eve.

His target was Sopan Deb, who posted a screenshot from a New York Times report noting that Scarborough and his co--host Mika Brzezinski were at _____'s party; then Joe shrieked:

“Partied? You’re very good at pushing fake news. You should write for CNN. Apparently making up facts is fine if you’re writing about us.”

Scarborough then criticized Deb, and then called him “a hack” for suggesting he partied with Trump, but, and here’s the gist of the story, Scarborough was at Mar-a-Lago, though he says he was there before the party to set up an interview with _____.

"Nothing that Mika and I did in setting up this meeting was any different than what all good reporters and news hosts try to do daily. I hope we get the interview."

Deb eventually responded to Scarborough, but wondered, as I did, what the difference between partying with _____ and “attending” the party might be.

So, Joe was there, but before the party which still begs the question: why go all the way to Mar-a-Lago on New Year’s Eve to request an interview, Joe? That could’a been done by phone or email on any other day.

Oh, and there is a photo of Scarborough working the red carpet at the party.

Uh huh. sure Joe.

Carlos’ father is not too keen on the whole gay son thing, and especially not on the whole gay son married to another man thing, and he hadn’t spoken to Carlos in decades. But this year, in April, on Carlos’ birthday, after Carlos’ mother wished him well, his father, Carlos Sr., got on the phone to say Happy Birthday.

I suggested that maybe Carlos Sr. is getting old now and wants to remedy all the bad feelings between father and son—Carlos Sr., has also mended fences with his sister, our beloved Tia Gloria—and Carlos just shrugged.

Well, over the weekend Carlos called his parents in Mexico City to wish them a Happy New Year; he spoke to his mother briefly and then hung up. A few minutes later our phone rang and it was Carlos Sr. wishing Carlos a Happy New Year.

Carlos was very pleased—though he tried to hide it—and then he said, “Of course he didn’t ask about you at all.”

I said, “Look, it’s taken him thirty years to speak to you again, I can wait.”

Still, it does my heart good to know that they’re talking.

We watched the movie Race over the long holiday; the story of Jesse Owens’ performance at the 1936 Berlin Olympics amid the rise of Nazi Germany.

Naturally, since Owens was a black man, Hitler was none too pleased that Owens was the star of the games and even refused to meet the athlete or stay in the stands after Owens had won his four gold medals.

Still the film had some hotties ... clockwise from the top ... notably Stephen James as Jesse, and Jason Sudeikis—who I find very attractive in a snarky smirky way—as Jesse’s coach, Larry Snyder. Sharmier Anderson played Jesse’s chief rival for the spot on the US Track team, Euface peacock, and David Kross was Carl ‘Luz’ Long, a German athlete who befriended Jesse and even, egads, shook his hand and hugged him on the field after a victory.

That alone made life quite difficult for Long after the games. And much was made of Adolf Hitler’s refusal to meet Jesse and yet nearly nothing was said about the fact that, after the games, our own president, FDR, did not invite this four-time gold medal winner to the White House.

Interesting story; fairly good film; hot guys. Win.Win.

This will be our President ...

Donald _____ took to Twitter to kvetch about North Korea:

“North Korea just stated that it is in the final stages of developing a nuclear weapon capable of reaching parts of the U.S. It won't happen!”

Okay, childish because that’s so not presidential, but then he took to Twitter to bash China:

“China has been taking out massive amounts of money & wealth from the U.S. in totally one-sided trade, but won't help with North Korea. Nice!”

But then his real issue came out, the thing that really pisses him on, and it isn’t nukes and it isn’t China, it’s photography:

“@CNN just released a book called "Unprecedented" which explores the 2016 race & victory. Hope it does well but used worst cover photo of me!”

Yup, that our future president. Not North Korea ... not china ... but an ugly picture of his fugly mug.

After acting to gut the Office of Congressional Ethics [OCE] this week—see post HERE—House Republicans scrapped their plans after _____ stepped in ... ALLEGEDLY ... and it looked like maybe the OCE would stay.

Don’t count on it ... while the House GOP withdrew their planned changes, they say they will “study” changes to the office and make them before the August deadline.

So, while I gave them a slow clap this week for doing the right thing, as usual, I have also taken it with a grain of salt, because you cannot trust the GOP as far as you can throw them.

And, while the GOP is suggesting they stopped because of _____, that’s a lie; _____ didn't object to gutting the ethics office, he just wants to do it later ... once someone tells him what “ethics” means.

Just sayin’.

Jared Louis Valezquez, a gay porn star who goes by the name Tyce Jax—seriously? Tyce?—is on probation for beating, choking and pulling a knife on his partner Bobby Hamill; Valezquez has been arrested on domestic violence charges five times before.

Valezquez is said to have become enraged after ... wait for it ... it’s rich ...,. wait for it ... finding Hamill watching porn on an iPad.

Yup, the porn star was furious that his boyfriend was watching porn.

Now, unless it was straight porn ... ewwww .... I’ve.Heard.Everything.